*Author's note: Is a quick little short story I whipped up! Very short and
kinda cute*
Frodo goes to the Mall
It was a nice, sunny summer day when Frodo decided he needed to return this evil ring he had (it was too tacky for him). So, he set out down the yellow brick road, to find the Mall (he brought his little gardener Sam with him- he needed to buy a rake). On his way, he came to a place where a scarecrow was hanging on a stick. "Where should I go?" He wondered out loud. Two voices said at the same time, "Go Left, Go right."
"Who said that?" Frodo said suspiciously, looking around.
"Twas us," the scarecrow said.
"Us?" Frodo said, utterly confused.
"For sure!" The scarecrow said. He hopped off the stick he was on, and the wrinkled clothes fell off.
"Merry and Pippin!" Frodo exclaimed joyfully. "What where you guys doing up there?"
Merry fidgeted, and Pippin answered slowly, "Oh...we were just...heehee...what I mean to say is, we were borrowing a few of Farmer Maggotsoup's vegetables."
"Cauliflower, potatoes, radishes, beets, corn, carrots, mushrooms, acorns-" Frodo said, inspecting the basket "-Acorns?"
"What?" Merry asked innocently.
"Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, lettuce, rutabagas, and some wheat?" Pippin finished the list of what was in his basket.
"Hiiiiiiddeeee!" Sam the gardener yelled.
"Why?" Frodo asked.
"I see a black rider approaching!" Sam replied.
"A black rider?" Merry said questioningly.
"It's a lawyer," Sam explained. "He must have heard about the ring! Sneeron must have sent the 9 lawyers out to stop you!"
Frodo gasped. "You mean the owner of the shop I brought my ring from?"
"Exactly," Sam said. "I guess he doesn't want it back-to tacky."
"We'll have to cast it into one of the mall fountains!" Frodo exclaimed.
"What about security guards?" Merry asked.
"And flying orcs!" Pippin added.
"Don't forget Saruman," Sam said.
"Who?"
"The wicked toll-tower-booth man from the west," Sam explained.
"Ah," Frodo said.
"Ahhhhh!" Merry and Pippin screamed.
"Um..." Frodo backed away from them.
"It's a lion!" Merry screamed.
"It'll eat us alive!" Pippin screamed.
"No I won't," the lion said. Strangely, it had a long grey beard. "I'm not a lion, you see, I just mixed myself up in a spell."
"Gandalf!" Frodo said joyously. Gandalf the Lion sat for nearly a half an hour, and finally turned himself back into a wizard. He came along with Frodo, who needed a refund on his tacky ring, Sam, who needed a rake (and we needed him to be a part of the *not spoiling it* later), Merry & Pippin, the two little hobbits that needed an un-ending feast, and of course, Gandalf needed a book of spells. After walking for a while, they came to a forest.
"It's a shortcut, I'm sure," Gandalf said.
"Well, let's go!" Sam said, running ahead.
"Welcome to my realm," a voice boomed.
"Who is it?" Merry said, cringing.
"I'm a pre-recording," the voice explained. "I'm played in a microphone triggered by heat. If you want to find out who I am, press one-" a box with numbered buttons had dropped from a tree "-If you want to run away screaming, press two, and if you want to explain why you forgot your homework, press three."
"It's Elrond, the Elven school superintendent," Gandalf said. "Make haste, for he can help us."
"Can he destroy the ring?" Frodo asked.
"No, but I'm sure he can give us a nice baloney sandwich," Gandalf replied.
"Nummy," Sam said. He thought about his new rake.
When they came to the PTA council room to discuss the ring, Sam, Merry, and Pippin weren't allowed. They disguised themselves as plastic plants and hopped into the room to listen in on the conversation. Many different, and important, people/elves/dwarves/etc. were there. There was Aragorn, the would-be king of a fast-food chain, Boromir, the prince of a highly important rival mall to that of Sneeron's, Legolas, the prince of Mirkwood Souvenirs (it was a company with stands up in every important place), Gimli, one of the members of a jewelry company, and Elrond. There were, of course, some others, but they aren't important, so we'll just not bother with them.
"You all know why I've called you here today," Elrond said.
"To discuss what our next fund-raiser will be?" Gimli asked.
"Um...no," Elrond said. "We're here to discuss Sneeron, and the fact that he won't let Frodo return this tacky ring he bought."
"He's scaring away our customers," Boromir whined.
"His mob of Black Riders stampeded one of my restaurants," sniveled Aragorn.
"Yeah, well that stupid Gollum thing we were tracking came and raided on of our stands, looking for that tacky ring. He wrecked all our merchandise!" Legolas whimpered.
"But you didn't lose sight of him, did you?" Elrond asked.
"Um...I'll take outer planets, for $200?" Legolas fidgeted nervously.
"D'oh," Elrond sighed. "Anyways, this ring must be sent back! We have to prove to Sneeron that he's a freak. And besides, well, um..."
"Honestly, why do we care?" Legolas muttered.
Elrond paid no attention. "Who will take the ring back to the evil Sneeron?" He waited for a few minutes, obviously hoping for someone to volunteer. "Well, I'm not going. I have to supervise. Gandalf, Gimli, Aragorn, Boromir, and Frodo. You started this, you finish it."
"Oh no you don't!" One of the plastic plants yelled. It hopped over next to Frodo, and Sam's head popped out of it. The other two plastic plants in the room also hopped over to Frodo.
"We're going too!" Merry and Pippin chimed in.
"Hey, look!" Frodo exclaimed, "Legolas is sneaking away!"
"I don't want to!" The blond elf whined.
"Well, you have to. Get going." Elrond said, shoving them out the door."
Thanks for reading! I'm going to write 3 or 4 more chapters, but don't expect quick updates. (
Frodo goes to the Mall
It was a nice, sunny summer day when Frodo decided he needed to return this evil ring he had (it was too tacky for him). So, he set out down the yellow brick road, to find the Mall (he brought his little gardener Sam with him- he needed to buy a rake). On his way, he came to a place where a scarecrow was hanging on a stick. "Where should I go?" He wondered out loud. Two voices said at the same time, "Go Left, Go right."
"Who said that?" Frodo said suspiciously, looking around.
"Twas us," the scarecrow said.
"Us?" Frodo said, utterly confused.
"For sure!" The scarecrow said. He hopped off the stick he was on, and the wrinkled clothes fell off.
"Merry and Pippin!" Frodo exclaimed joyfully. "What where you guys doing up there?"
Merry fidgeted, and Pippin answered slowly, "Oh...we were just...heehee...what I mean to say is, we were borrowing a few of Farmer Maggotsoup's vegetables."
"Cauliflower, potatoes, radishes, beets, corn, carrots, mushrooms, acorns-" Frodo said, inspecting the basket "-Acorns?"
"What?" Merry asked innocently.
"Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, lettuce, rutabagas, and some wheat?" Pippin finished the list of what was in his basket.
"Hiiiiiiddeeee!" Sam the gardener yelled.
"Why?" Frodo asked.
"I see a black rider approaching!" Sam replied.
"A black rider?" Merry said questioningly.
"It's a lawyer," Sam explained. "He must have heard about the ring! Sneeron must have sent the 9 lawyers out to stop you!"
Frodo gasped. "You mean the owner of the shop I brought my ring from?"
"Exactly," Sam said. "I guess he doesn't want it back-to tacky."
"We'll have to cast it into one of the mall fountains!" Frodo exclaimed.
"What about security guards?" Merry asked.
"And flying orcs!" Pippin added.
"Don't forget Saruman," Sam said.
"Who?"
"The wicked toll-tower-booth man from the west," Sam explained.
"Ah," Frodo said.
"Ahhhhh!" Merry and Pippin screamed.
"Um..." Frodo backed away from them.
"It's a lion!" Merry screamed.
"It'll eat us alive!" Pippin screamed.
"No I won't," the lion said. Strangely, it had a long grey beard. "I'm not a lion, you see, I just mixed myself up in a spell."
"Gandalf!" Frodo said joyously. Gandalf the Lion sat for nearly a half an hour, and finally turned himself back into a wizard. He came along with Frodo, who needed a refund on his tacky ring, Sam, who needed a rake (and we needed him to be a part of the *not spoiling it* later), Merry & Pippin, the two little hobbits that needed an un-ending feast, and of course, Gandalf needed a book of spells. After walking for a while, they came to a forest.
"It's a shortcut, I'm sure," Gandalf said.
"Well, let's go!" Sam said, running ahead.
"Welcome to my realm," a voice boomed.
"Who is it?" Merry said, cringing.
"I'm a pre-recording," the voice explained. "I'm played in a microphone triggered by heat. If you want to find out who I am, press one-" a box with numbered buttons had dropped from a tree "-If you want to run away screaming, press two, and if you want to explain why you forgot your homework, press three."
"It's Elrond, the Elven school superintendent," Gandalf said. "Make haste, for he can help us."
"Can he destroy the ring?" Frodo asked.
"No, but I'm sure he can give us a nice baloney sandwich," Gandalf replied.
"Nummy," Sam said. He thought about his new rake.
When they came to the PTA council room to discuss the ring, Sam, Merry, and Pippin weren't allowed. They disguised themselves as plastic plants and hopped into the room to listen in on the conversation. Many different, and important, people/elves/dwarves/etc. were there. There was Aragorn, the would-be king of a fast-food chain, Boromir, the prince of a highly important rival mall to that of Sneeron's, Legolas, the prince of Mirkwood Souvenirs (it was a company with stands up in every important place), Gimli, one of the members of a jewelry company, and Elrond. There were, of course, some others, but they aren't important, so we'll just not bother with them.
"You all know why I've called you here today," Elrond said.
"To discuss what our next fund-raiser will be?" Gimli asked.
"Um...no," Elrond said. "We're here to discuss Sneeron, and the fact that he won't let Frodo return this tacky ring he bought."
"He's scaring away our customers," Boromir whined.
"His mob of Black Riders stampeded one of my restaurants," sniveled Aragorn.
"Yeah, well that stupid Gollum thing we were tracking came and raided on of our stands, looking for that tacky ring. He wrecked all our merchandise!" Legolas whimpered.
"But you didn't lose sight of him, did you?" Elrond asked.
"Um...I'll take outer planets, for $200?" Legolas fidgeted nervously.
"D'oh," Elrond sighed. "Anyways, this ring must be sent back! We have to prove to Sneeron that he's a freak. And besides, well, um..."
"Honestly, why do we care?" Legolas muttered.
Elrond paid no attention. "Who will take the ring back to the evil Sneeron?" He waited for a few minutes, obviously hoping for someone to volunteer. "Well, I'm not going. I have to supervise. Gandalf, Gimli, Aragorn, Boromir, and Frodo. You started this, you finish it."
"Oh no you don't!" One of the plastic plants yelled. It hopped over next to Frodo, and Sam's head popped out of it. The other two plastic plants in the room also hopped over to Frodo.
"We're going too!" Merry and Pippin chimed in.
"Hey, look!" Frodo exclaimed, "Legolas is sneaking away!"
"I don't want to!" The blond elf whined.
"Well, you have to. Get going." Elrond said, shoving them out the door."
Thanks for reading! I'm going to write 3 or 4 more chapters, but don't expect quick updates. (