Wizard of the Rings, part 2
*Author's note* I'm sorry I haven't done anything to update this in so long. Sorry it's so short!
Frodo paused on the road to stare into outer space. "Grumph. Stupid ring."
Aragorn was having trouble with his compass. "Every way I turn, it always points north!" He yelled, throwing it down a cliff. It popped open and springs and cogs came out.
"It's supposed to," Legolas said, backing away from the odd ranger.
Gandalf pulled a map out of his back pocket. He turned it upside-down and shook some crumbs out of it. "Let's see." He tripped on a rock. "Ouch. We can go up this mountain, through this trail, around these trees, past the toll-booth man, and hope no one notices us."
"Why is the ring so dangerous?" Boromir asked. Frodo fell behind and started to open his pack.
Gandalf eyed him gravely. "Anyone associated to the ring, especially those that put it on, loose all fashion sense and become almost color blind. 'Twas horrible to see Mr. Bilbo wearing a cap backwards." Gandalf snorted, obviously containing his laughter. Aragorn and Boromir looked at each other and shrugged.
"Gandalf must have had that ring for quite some time, eh?" Aragorn murmured to Boromir. The two snickered and exchanged comments on the other fellows of the Fellowship.
Frodo came running up to Sam, Merry and Pippin, clutching a bag. "Look what I found!" He whispered with glee.
"Beer!" They both screamed at once. Everyone turned to stare at them. "Not beer," they said quickly.
Gandalf turned his wise old head to stare at them, and Boromir said something particularly funny. Both he and Aragorn fell down laughing.
As Sam, Frodo, Merry and Pippin raced to catch up with Gandalf, Legolas and Gimli, they all managed to step on Boromir and Aragorn. "Ouch," murmured Aragorn. Boromir repeated his comment, and they both dissolved into hilarity again.
"Mr. Gandalf, sir," Sam said. Gandalf turned. "I," continued Sam, "Believe this is a funny place." ("Like Camelot?" Frodo asked) Gandalf stroked his immensely long beard. "I think we should leave, Mr. Gandalf, sir."
Gandalf continued to stroke his beard, and was lost in space for a few minutes. "Why should we give up our wondersome plan to get to the mall in minutes, just for Boromir and Aragorn?"
"It's very good for the plot, Mr. Gandalf, sir." Sam said politely.
"Of course, we could just throw them off the Cliffside," Legolas said thoughtfully.
"That would be fun.but Boromir has places to die," Gandalf said. "Here's an idea. Let's get that yokel, Gimli, to take us to his cave. I can *not* get killed by a particularly gassy security guard (after a large lunch of 23 burritos), and you all can be defeated by the dorcs."
"Orcs, sir," Sam said. "Anyways, weren't they fed to that really big crocodile last year?"
"Oh yeah..." Gandalf muttered, and whacked himself on the head. Unffortunately, the only thing he remembered was an appointment with the dentist two days ago.
"Wait a minute..." Boromir said angrily. "Throw me off a cliff? That's @#$&*%!"
Merry and Pippin exchanged glances of glee and scurried to write the bad words down.
Gandalf got his pipe out, and started smoking it. He puffed little blue and pink caterpillars up to the top of the mountain. Suddenly, Sourman's disembodied voice appeared. "Who dares to blow smoke rings on my mountain?!" And then he was sued for plagiarism and they didn't have to worry about him anymore.
*Author's note* I'm sorry I haven't done anything to update this in so long. Sorry it's so short!
Frodo paused on the road to stare into outer space. "Grumph. Stupid ring."
Aragorn was having trouble with his compass. "Every way I turn, it always points north!" He yelled, throwing it down a cliff. It popped open and springs and cogs came out.
"It's supposed to," Legolas said, backing away from the odd ranger.
Gandalf pulled a map out of his back pocket. He turned it upside-down and shook some crumbs out of it. "Let's see." He tripped on a rock. "Ouch. We can go up this mountain, through this trail, around these trees, past the toll-booth man, and hope no one notices us."
"Why is the ring so dangerous?" Boromir asked. Frodo fell behind and started to open his pack.
Gandalf eyed him gravely. "Anyone associated to the ring, especially those that put it on, loose all fashion sense and become almost color blind. 'Twas horrible to see Mr. Bilbo wearing a cap backwards." Gandalf snorted, obviously containing his laughter. Aragorn and Boromir looked at each other and shrugged.
"Gandalf must have had that ring for quite some time, eh?" Aragorn murmured to Boromir. The two snickered and exchanged comments on the other fellows of the Fellowship.
Frodo came running up to Sam, Merry and Pippin, clutching a bag. "Look what I found!" He whispered with glee.
"Beer!" They both screamed at once. Everyone turned to stare at them. "Not beer," they said quickly.
Gandalf turned his wise old head to stare at them, and Boromir said something particularly funny. Both he and Aragorn fell down laughing.
As Sam, Frodo, Merry and Pippin raced to catch up with Gandalf, Legolas and Gimli, they all managed to step on Boromir and Aragorn. "Ouch," murmured Aragorn. Boromir repeated his comment, and they both dissolved into hilarity again.
"Mr. Gandalf, sir," Sam said. Gandalf turned. "I," continued Sam, "Believe this is a funny place." ("Like Camelot?" Frodo asked) Gandalf stroked his immensely long beard. "I think we should leave, Mr. Gandalf, sir."
Gandalf continued to stroke his beard, and was lost in space for a few minutes. "Why should we give up our wondersome plan to get to the mall in minutes, just for Boromir and Aragorn?"
"It's very good for the plot, Mr. Gandalf, sir." Sam said politely.
"Of course, we could just throw them off the Cliffside," Legolas said thoughtfully.
"That would be fun.but Boromir has places to die," Gandalf said. "Here's an idea. Let's get that yokel, Gimli, to take us to his cave. I can *not* get killed by a particularly gassy security guard (after a large lunch of 23 burritos), and you all can be defeated by the dorcs."
"Orcs, sir," Sam said. "Anyways, weren't they fed to that really big crocodile last year?"
"Oh yeah..." Gandalf muttered, and whacked himself on the head. Unffortunately, the only thing he remembered was an appointment with the dentist two days ago.
"Wait a minute..." Boromir said angrily. "Throw me off a cliff? That's @#$&*%!"
Merry and Pippin exchanged glances of glee and scurried to write the bad words down.
Gandalf got his pipe out, and started smoking it. He puffed little blue and pink caterpillars up to the top of the mountain. Suddenly, Sourman's disembodied voice appeared. "Who dares to blow smoke rings on my mountain?!" And then he was sued for plagiarism and they didn't have to worry about him anymore.