Finally, an update! Whee!! I'm hoping this will be funnier than the other chapters were, because they weren't that funny... hmm... they had their moments, at least.

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Frodo looked down the giant chasm. The Balrog was laughing wickedly. Muahaha! I have eaten your wizard! If you want him back, roll your dexterity!

Boromir asked.

Aragorn asked.

Legolas asked.

I like sheep, Sam said.

Everyone turned to stare at him.

By jove, he's brilliant! Some random British guy shrieked.

That's amazing, Sam! Aragorn said, his mouth wide open in awe. We'll simply take a sheep, fill it full of socks, and throw it at the Balrog! How did you ever think of that, Sam?



Wait... there aren't any sheep in here. Boromir looked around.

I know where we have to go! Legolas said. To the foresty forest place, where there are flying orcs and Elves!

Do the Elves fly as well? Frodo asked.

No, they ate so much at this one big party during the last century that they can hardly walk. The only pretty one left is Gladware, but she isn't around a lot since she sells plastic bags to unwary travellers.

Frodo said, sounding disappointed. Can you fly?

Legolas snorted. What do I look like, a horse?

Merry and Pippin exclaimed. I want a pony, and a crocodile, and a chimpanzee! Pippin added.

We'll train an iguana and he'll do a little dance! Wearing a hat! Merry yelled.

We'll start a travelling circus and people will pay money to come and watch! The two Hobbits ran off to plan their evil circus schemes, and Boromir scratched his head.

I have a great feeling of foreboding, He confided to Gimli, who happened to be standing there.

Say, if you were... to suddenly die... could I have your CD player? The Dwarf asked.

Uh... why?

Oh, you know.

Nah, I think I'll give that to Aragorn. Gimli snorted and sulked off. You can have my accordian! Boromir called after him.

What are you talking about? Legolas asked, walking over.

Oh, Gimli was wondering if he could have my CD player if I were to suddenly and unexpectedly die.

Hey, can I have it?

Boromir frowned in annoyance. No, I'm giving it to Aragorn. Why is everyone so determined for me to die, anyway? And what's so cool about my CD player?

Oh... fate, you know. And besides, your CD player has AM/FM radio! Legolas exclaimed. He smiled widely.

Uh... I'll just go over here now, Boromir said, backing away. Then, he accidentally fell off of the cliff (I mean, Gimli *certainly* didn't push him). I'm not dead! He called out. Then an accordian hit him and he was silent.

Everyone turned to stare at Gimli, for some reason, but the Dwarf just whistled innocently. Let's find this Gladware, he said.

So they all went and found Gladware, and she let Frodo have some Glad bags for free (Don't get mad, get Glad!!). Frodo looked into the Glad bag, and saw his reflection... then he saw Bilbo falling off a cliff... then he saw the Shire on fire... then he saw some people dancing the polka. He exclaimed, holding his face. People will dance the polka if I don't destroy this ring!?

Its tackiness is spreading, Frodo, and soon the whole world will be overcome.

So Frodo and Co. left to find Mall Doom. They were all sleeping contentedly on the banks of a river, when suddenly Frodo woke up. Someone is having a midnight snack! He gasped. He ran to their portable freezer, and there was Boromir the not-so-dead eating Doritoes!

Frodo screamed, and ran away. Sam woke up immediately, and followed after Frodo. Dogs-I mean gardeners-are faithful like that.

The next morning Aragorn woke up and saw Boromir lying on the ground, his face green. I... the Doritoes were poisoned... the man gasped, and then fell silent, again. You may.... *cough* CD played... *hack* Back pocket...

Aragorn grabbed the CD player, pushed Boromir into the river, and immediately began listening to DJ Elrond groovin' to the tunes. And now DJ Rwen is gonna take your shoutouts! Aragorn gasped when he heard his fiancé's voice.

I have to call Arwen! He exclaimed. Gimli and Legolas woke up to see their leader running in the direction of the nearest toll booth. They both shrugged, grabbed all of their stuff, and followed after him. No one noticed that Merry and Pippin had never come back from their circus schemes...

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Sam and Frodo gasped as their bleeding feet carried them at a higher and higher altitude, so high up, in fact, that they had very little air left. We've been going in circles and have no hope of surviving for much longer! Frodo began to cry.

I'll never get my rake! Sam began to cry as well.

Just when they thought all was lost, a shadow blocked out the sun. Spongebob squealed.

Sam and Frodo yelled, and ran so far away that they were right on the edges of the Dead Marshes. It's the Dead Marshes, said Spongebob, who had followed them using his super spong flying powers.

Get out of here, this be no cross-over! Sam snarled, and pushed Spongebob into the Dead Marshes.

Spongebob shouted, waving his arms madly. Then he met a dead squirrel and a dead starfish and a dead squid and there was much rejoicing.

Now what, Mr. Frodo sir? Sam asked.

I don't know, Sam, I don't know.

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Ehehehehehehehe.... what happens next? I hope you liked it! Next update... in a while.