Disclaimers: I do not owe the Wheel of Time series –I wish I did though ;o)– or the characters involved.

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Chapter 1 – The Morning Nausea

Nynaeve woke up with a start and a terrible nausea. It had been like that for the past days, and she only hoped she would not get sick before the battle. She suddenly felt her stomach twist and she threw herself out of bed, grabbed her cloak and held it around her, and ran outside just in time for her to vomit near a dry branch. She felt terrible today, just as any other mornings. Light! I hope I'm not getting ill!

The morning had not yet come, but the sky was fading from dark blue to light yellow, and there were none except Nynaeve outside. She cursed as she threw up again. When it felt like she had emptied herself totally, she dried her mouth with her cloak, and walked back to the tent.

Inside, Lan still was fast asleep. He had been so tired the past few days, that he had not noticed Nynaeve's early morning ritual. And Nynaeve had no intention of telling him. The last she needed was Lan to worry himself to death over her, and stop thinking about the future battle. She dropped the cloak to the ground and laid down in bed. For more than an hour, Nynaeve just lay there and studied her husband, admiring his looks and in the end she kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Good morning," she said as her husband beside her opened his eyes. Lan smiled and they leaned towards each other in a kiss. The tent was dimly lit up from the rising sun outside, and she could barely see the outline of the man, but that was enough for her to cradle into his strong arms

Ever since the armies of the Dragon Reborn and the Freelanders had begun the march towards Shayol Ghul, Nynaeve had found herself becoming more afraid for every step her horse took. She knew too well that in a few days time there would be a battle like she had never seen before, and the knowledge that it was quite possible that she or Lan –or both– would die, tore in her heart like knifes. I cannot live on without Lan. And he said he would die if I died.

Rand had asked her to join him at the front, and despite Lan's long protests, Nynaeve had agreed out of childhood memories of Rand and Wisdom duties. Both men needed her, but Lan knew she would have to do her duty, like he had to do his, and he respected her decision, even though it ripped his heart.

For a long time, Nynaeve just laid in Lan's arms, his gentle and safe embrace soothing her. But in the end, she stood up, walked over to the wash stand and begun to wash herself. Lan moved in the bed to watch her, his eyes following every move she took. She no longer felt that it was embarrassing to stand naked in front of her husband, and found the whole scene actually amusing.

"What are you smiling so about?" Lan smiled curiously at her while standing up from the bed and walking over to her. Nynaeve returned his smile and put down the cloth she had used to wash herself. He put his arms around her small waist, and whispered in her ear, "well?"

"I was thinking of how much I love you." She kissed his cheek. "And how happy I am when I'm with you. But most of all that it's not embarrassing to be naked in front of you any more." It made him laugh, and Nynaeve turned in his arms and put her arms around his neck. She loved it when he laughed, because it was so rare. When they first met, he had been so stern and cold, never smiling, but now he could be soft, gentle and warm with her, smiling and laughing.

Lan still chuckled as she got dressed, and it was his turn to wash. When Nynaeve finished, she walked around the tent, collected some clothes lying around and put them into the saddlebags. Lan was already dressed when she finished; he fastened his sword belt with the sheathed longsword, and looked up at her.

"I agreed with the Lord Dragon Reborn to eat in his tent today; he wanted to discuss strategy with me and the other generals." Lan had been asked to lead Rand's life guard, and since he knew it would be the closest place he could get to his wife, he had agreed. Nynaeve just nodded; she knew it hurt Lan that she would stand besides Rand and protect him together with other Aes Sedai and Asha'man while he fought the Dark One. Walking over to him, she tiptoed and kissed him passionate on the lips.

"Don't worry about me, Lan. I have been in worse situations than protecting someone." She smiled at him, but his eyes was sad, so she kissed him again as to drive away his sadness. It did not work, though, but he gave her a half-heartedly smile. Her stomach wanted to twist again. Light! What is wrong with me!