Half-a-penny!

Chapter 2

Now I don't need the CD key generator, because I found my CD key, thanks, and read chapter 2!

GORDON: (opens his eyes) Oh! How long have I passed out?

A-E-L-S #1: Actually, one nanosecond. Now get your hazard suit!

GORDON: (stands up slowly) O.K. … (bumps his head against Bond's locker [again]) Ouch!

A-E-L-S #1: Stop doing that!

GORDON: O.K. (goes to the the room on his left.) (Finds the suit is locked) Gosh darn it with a cherry on top! (Goes to the glass and starts whacking it with the crowbar endlessly).

A-E-L-S #1: (Who couldn't bear the noise) Gordon! Stop doing that! (Comes near to the the console).

GORDON: (Stops whacking it) But it won't open!

A-E-L-S #1: Of course not! All you have to do is to push this button! (Pushes it and the glass [severely hit] withdraws)

GORDON: Oh... I see... (steps into the HEV suit).

HEV SUIT'S COMPUTER VOICE: Welcome the HEV suit Mark four, for use in hazardous enviroments and conditions. Power ON. Flashlight system ENGAGED. Defensive weapon selection ON. Automated medical assistance ENGAGED. Communications ONLINE. Ammunition indicator ACTIVATED. Cheats system OFF. Godmode OFF. Noclip mode OFF. Notarget mode OFF. Magic weapon reciever OFF. Charger ON. Have a very safe day.

GORDON: O.K.; my hazard suit is ON, what do I do now?

A-E-L-S #1: How can I know? Follow the red stripe, that's all I know!

GORDON: All right..., goodbye Mr. Bomb.

A-E-L-S #1: My name is not "Bomb", it's Bond, Rupert Bond.

GORDON: (Opens his mouth in amazement) Was it YOUR locker?

BOND: (Nods).

GORDON: Oh! I'm so sorry!

BOND: Yeah, yeah, go to the test lab already!

GORDON: I'll go! (He goes away from the facilities and follows the red stripe to a retinal scanner post with a security guard standing in there.) Hey!

SECURITY GUARD #1: (Wakes up) Oh, Mr. Freeman! You're so awfully late!

GORDON: Yes, I know...

SECURITY GUARD #1: (Punching some buttons that weren't there previously) Well, the Administrator has forseen similar cases to yours, and we have this special device that lets you go from here to the test chamber's door in a blink.

GORDON: (Curious) What kind of decive is that one?

SECURITY GUARD #1: (Has got the combination right, and a musical beeping is heard.) This one! (Suddenly the ground crumples behind Gordon's feet, Gordon screams and falls into ten pillows at the test chamber's door)

A-E-L-S #2: (Who is standing right in front of the test chamber's closed door along with DARK-SKINNED-SCIENTIST #1) Ah, hello Gordon, at last! (To D-S-S #1) He's finally here, let's let 'im now! (Is about to go to his retinal scanner but D-S-S #1 stops him).

D-S-S #1: Not yet! We have to explain! I'm afraid we'll be deviating a bit from standard analysis procedures today, Gordon.

GORDON: (Trembling) Are... we...?

A-E-L-S #2: Yes, but with good reason. (Gordon calms down) This is a rare opportunity for us. This is the purest sample we've seen yet.

D-S-S #1: And, potentionaly, the most unstable.

A-E-L-S #2: Now now, if you follow standard insertion procedures, everything will be fine.

D-S-S #1: I don't know how you can say that. Although I will admit that the chances for a resonance cascade is extremely unlikely I remain unconvinced that-

A-E-L-S #2: (Cutting in and shouting) Gordon doesn't need to hear all this, he's a highly trained professional. We've assured the administrator that NOTHING WILL GO WRONG.

GORDON: Am I a highly trained professional?

BOTH SCIENTISTS: Gordon, shut up!

GORDON: O.K....

D-S-S #1: (Obviously defeated) Ah, maybe you are right, Gordon, we have complete confidence on you.

A-E-L-S #2: (Approaching yet again his retinal scanner station, being shortly afterwards mimicked by D-S-S #1) Well, let's let him in now...

Suddenly, a hedacrab teleports in!

HEADCRAB #1(Jumping up and down menacingly, posing no real threat) : Xri!

(All of the scientists [even GORDON] panick and scream)

U.S.M.C. SOLDIER ARMED WITH AN MP5 AND WEARING NIGHTVISION GOGGLES #1: (Teleports in, but falls into the headcrab, squishing it. The soldier looks VERY confused) What the darnety heck am I doing in here?

A-E-L-S #2: Whatever it was, you squished that weird creature! Thanks you a lot!

U.S.M.C-S-A-W-A-M-A-W-N-G #1: Thanks, I think... what is this place?

GORDON: (Feeling smarter than the soldier) You're in the Black Mesa Research Facility's Test Lab. I was about to perform a class-D test. Willing to come in? Are you protected enough?

U.S.M.C-S-A-W-A-M-A-W-N-G #1: Oh, my PCV is resistant as an HEV!

RETINAL SCANNERS: AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL

A-E-L-S #2: Proceed, Gordon, and you, strange marine...

U.S.M.C-S-A-W-A-M-A-W-N-G #1: Erm, I am Corporal Adrian Shepard, from the United States Marine Corps.

D-S-S #1: (In a spooky way) To the test chamber...

(GORDON and ADRIAN look at each other, shrug and walkk into the test chamber. The cart is holding the sample and the rotors are at full power.)

A-E-L-S #3: (V.O.) Well, Gordon, just push the sample to the analysing beam and you can go home, is that all right with you?

GORDON:(Nods, intimidated) Yes. (Pushes the cart to the analyzer beam and everything blows up. 4 ALIENS SLAVES teleport in. ADRIAN kills them. Suddenly, GORDON and himself are teleported to Xen, in front of two BULLSQUIDS. The BULLSQUIDS attack. ADRIAN reloads. GORDON whacks one of them with his trusty crowbar to death and ADRIAN sispatches the other one with his Mp5. They do a high up five, are teleported to a random DARK place. There are 4 more ALIEN SLAVES. They start charging up, but GORDON and ADRIAN dispatch them the same way they did with the BULLSQUIDS)

GORDON & ADRIAN:(Still in the dark place, standing on the SLAVES' corps) Bring it on!!! Woo hoo!