I just read Shelley Midnight's fic about how IZ is goin' to the preps, and
it almost made me cry. Go read it, it's a great fic!!
Okay, down to business. *snort* Wait a second, I'm a teenage goofy fan writing a story about a TV show. No matter HOW COOL the show is, it can't really be business, can it? Anyway, I came up with this idea for a short Christmas fic a couple of days ago. One-shot, don't expect a sequel. If you want one, you could ask me for one. *gringrin*
If you don't recognize one of the characters (ALEX!!), that wouldn't be suprising. However, she is not a fan character. She doesn't have any actual lines in the show, but she is in Mrs. Bitters's class. Go to thescarymonkeyshow.com if you want to see what she looks like. And, if you're wondering why I chose Alex, it's BECAUSE she's obscure. I needed a character that no one knows anything about. Okay? Okay. And, for those of you who don't know, Willy's the stinky kid in the back of the classroom.
Disclaimer: Zim, Mrs. Bitters's classroom, Dib, and Alex are all © to Jhonen Vasquez and, reluctantly, Nickelodeon. Christmas is © to ... I dunno. It's © to all of us, in hopes that we'll use it as a time to celebrate, worship, and get out of school for two weeks, no strings attached. The War of The Worlds is © to H.G. Wells. The Ghost of Christmas Past is © to Charles Dickens. This story is © to me. At least, I HOPE so. 'Cause if this fic isn't mine, then I have no clue whose it is ...
"" Means someone is talking
' ' Means someone is thinking
:: :: Means something is written in a book
~*~
The Christmas Party
~*~
"Miserable students," Mrs. Bitters said, "today you'll have to finish ALL of your schoolwork ... " The class groaned, "... because you'll be getting the next two weeks off for Christmas." A cheer rose up.
Zim sat at his desk, unamused. "Who would devote a day to some fat human named Santa?" Zim muttered, remembering what he had learned the year before about Christmas. "It's just dumb, if you ask me."
"There's a lot more to Christmas than that, Zim." Zim turned in his seat to see the Dib-human's smirking face inches from his own. Carefully pushing Dib back, Zim asked, "Then what else IS there to this Christmas?"
"It's about worship," Dib said simply.
Zim watched him a moment, waiting for him to continue, and finally said, "Aaand ...?"
Dib smirked. "It's about worshipping Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Jesus taught people about God, made the blind see, the lame walk, y'know, stuff like that."
Zim nodded. "Okay. I guess that makes more sense than a day devoted to some fat guy." Dib snickered and walked away.
The class worked silently on all the school work they hadn't finished since the start of the school year, and Zim tried to imitate what the other kids were doing. Pulling out papers, stuffing them in his desk, opening and closing books.
About five minutes later, Mrs. Bitters said, "Alright everyone, pass up your papers, the rest of the day will be devoted to a Christmas party. Pass out gifts or something."
"What?!" Dib complained. "But we haven't finished any of our work! I mean, come on, we had, what five minutes? And--" The other kids silenced him with the Group Glare (trademark). "Some of us WANT a party, Dib!" The Letter M said.
"I'll be gone for the rest of the day, torturing the kids who have detention," Mrs. Bitters continued. "Those students would be..." She looked at a list. "Zim, Dib, and Willy."
Zim raised his hand, and without waiting to be called on said, "Mrs. Bitters, I believe there is some mistake. I don't have detention."
Mrs. Bitters shrugged. "Suit yourself, but by backing out of it you'll be haunted by the Ghost of Christmas Past next week."
"Whatever."
And so, Mrs. Bitters dragged Dib and Willy off, leaving the rest of the class to their party.
~*~
Zim watched the other students. They were all exchanging gifts. 'How quaint,' he thought, yawning. 'Wasting precious monies on little toys that no one really needs. So this is some kind of party tradition? Stupid humans, with their stupid gifts, at a stupid Christmas party. I should've gone to that detention thing. At least the Dib-monkey would've entertained me. Stupid party.' Zim shifted in his seat uncomfortably. 'Why isn't anyone giving ME anything?'
Looking around, all of the kids had gotten at least one gift. Some even had three or four. Zim had nothing.
"This isn't right," he muttered to himself. "Zim is AMAZING! These humans should be waiting in line to give me some useless trinket!"
He scanned the room one last time to see if there was anyone who might be looking his way, then he finally sighed and looked down at his desk. "So, Zim isn't good enough in their eyes to get anything, eh?" he muttered, sliding down in his seat until his head was nearly level with the desk.
He sat still for awhile, listening to the other students talking to each other, thanking each other for presents, and wishing each other a Merry Christmas. No one wished Zim a Merry Christmas. Didn't he deserve that as much as any stinky human did?
Finally Zim glanced up at the clock, to see how much time had passed. "Only two minutes?!" he yelled, and everyone in the room turned to stare at him. Zim slid down in his seat even further, blushing.
Everyone went back to what they were doing. 'That's it,' Zim thought. 'I'm out of here.' He got up, and halfway out the door he felt someone tap his shoulder. Zim spun around, to see a girl with black hair in a ponytail, a red shirt, and a brown skirt. Her eyes were squinted like the Dib-sister's eyes were.
"Eh?" Zim said. "Who are you?"
"My name's Alex," the girl said, smiling slightly. "You probably don't know me. I sit two seats behind Dib, though."
Zim narrowed his eyes. "That horrible DIB."
Alex chuckled. "Yeah, most of us feel that way, too. You're just the first person to really give Dib a piece of your mind. We've given him wedgies and stuff, but you're really making him pay for the stuff he's done to the rest of us."
"The rest of you?" Zim asked, eyeing the class as if for confirmation. "So, what's he done to you?"
"He called me a vampire, and wouldn't believe me when I said I was human until I ate two bowls of spaghetti." Alex made a face. "I hate spaghetti."
Zim nodded. "Yeah. I know how that is. He just keeps doing STUFF!" The Irken grinned evilly. "In fact, if he ever DID find a real alien or vampire, I bet no one would believe him."
Alex nodded. "And he'd deserve it, too!"
They just stood there for a few seconds, remembering all the horrible things that Dib-beast had done to both of them, when suddenly Alex said, "Oh! I almost forgot why I came over here. This is for you." She held out a gift-wrapped package, and Zim hesitantly took it. "What is it?" he asked.
"It's a Christmas gift, silly."
All thoughts of Dib left Zim's mind, and Zim looked up at Alex with surprise and a new admiration. "Um, thanks," he stuttered. "Should I open it?"
"Well, duh."
Zim decided that meant "yes," and tore the wrapping off, to reveal a book. "The War of The Worlds," Zim read off the cover. "Isn't that a movie?"
Alex made another face. "Yeah, it is, but the movie's really dumb. The book's a lot better. I got it for you because you asked Mrs. Bitters the day you moved here how prepared this planet was for an alien invasion. This kinda answers that question. And besides, it's a really cool book about how these Martians almost take over Earth. I really liked it."
'A book on Martians almost taking over this planet?' Zim thought. 'This book could provide the information on human weaknesses I need to conquer this filthy rock! And if they only ALMOST took over ... this story could also tell me what NOT to do when I take over the planet. Unless it's like the movie. That thing about germs didn't really help me that much ..."
Zim realized Alex was still standing in front of him. "Thanks for the book, Alex."
"You're welcome," she said, and turned to walk away.
Suddenly, Zim realized he was acting like a jerk, receiving a gift but not giving Alex anything in return. "Wait, Alex," he said automatically.
"Hmm?" she said, turning around to face Zim.
'Oh, slark it,' Zim thought. 'What am I gonna do NOW?!?' He quickly went through all the things in his Nanopak with his mind. Wasn't there ANYTHING he could give Alex? Some unimportant little thing?!
Zim remembered something Gir had played with once. Zim had taken it from the robot, but Alex might like it.
"Here," Zim said, taking a small orb out of his Nanopak. "This is for you." Zim pushed a button on the side, and the orb started glowing and floating. A strange tune floated out of the orb, one that Alex would not know but Zim recognized as Irk's Anthem. "It stores songs," Zim said. "You have to hold the button I pushed down, and it records what it hears, then it'll play it back." Zim pushed the button a second time, and the orb fell into his palm.
"Wow," Alex murmured, taking the orb, then she flashed Zim a huge smile. "Thanks Zim, and Merry Christmas!"
"Yes, yes, Merry Christmas to you too," Zim said, waving a hand dismissively as Alex returned to her seat, but inside he felt, well, good. Glad he had done something nice for someone else.
Zim sat down at his desk and opened his new book, wondering why he had just given a human wormbaby Irken technology, then decided the stench of the other students had gotten to his head. Or maybe it had to do with this Christmas or that magical "Jesus" person.* There was more to this holiday than Zim had originally thought.
::1. The Eve of the War
No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own ; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swam and multiplied in a drop of water ...::
'Hey,' Zim thought, 'this book is already better than the movie.'
And so, for the rest of the school day, Zim read War of The Worlds; his first Christmas gift.
~*~
Well, what'ya think? Is it any good? I worked about three hours on this, so I hope so! Please review!
I know it's after Christmas and I'm reloading this fic, sorry! I'm not trying to get more reviews or anything, but I spelled a word wrong. Most of the time, I wouldn't care, but when you spell the word Christ wrong in a Christmas fic, you just feel like you HAVE to fix it.
*For you super-religious people that might be offended by my referring to Jesus Christ as "that magical 'Jesus' person," I mean no disrespect. I am a Christian, and I wouldn't normally talk like that about Jesus, but I'm trying to keep Zim in character and that's probably how he'd refer to a person he heard about who could make the lame walk and the blind see. I doubt Zim is exactly a Baptist. *giggles at the thought of Zim getting baptized*
Okay, down to business. *snort* Wait a second, I'm a teenage goofy fan writing a story about a TV show. No matter HOW COOL the show is, it can't really be business, can it? Anyway, I came up with this idea for a short Christmas fic a couple of days ago. One-shot, don't expect a sequel. If you want one, you could ask me for one. *gringrin*
If you don't recognize one of the characters (ALEX!!), that wouldn't be suprising. However, she is not a fan character. She doesn't have any actual lines in the show, but she is in Mrs. Bitters's class. Go to thescarymonkeyshow.com if you want to see what she looks like. And, if you're wondering why I chose Alex, it's BECAUSE she's obscure. I needed a character that no one knows anything about. Okay? Okay. And, for those of you who don't know, Willy's the stinky kid in the back of the classroom.
Disclaimer: Zim, Mrs. Bitters's classroom, Dib, and Alex are all © to Jhonen Vasquez and, reluctantly, Nickelodeon. Christmas is © to ... I dunno. It's © to all of us, in hopes that we'll use it as a time to celebrate, worship, and get out of school for two weeks, no strings attached. The War of The Worlds is © to H.G. Wells. The Ghost of Christmas Past is © to Charles Dickens. This story is © to me. At least, I HOPE so. 'Cause if this fic isn't mine, then I have no clue whose it is ...
"" Means someone is talking
' ' Means someone is thinking
:: :: Means something is written in a book
~*~
The Christmas Party
~*~
"Miserable students," Mrs. Bitters said, "today you'll have to finish ALL of your schoolwork ... " The class groaned, "... because you'll be getting the next two weeks off for Christmas." A cheer rose up.
Zim sat at his desk, unamused. "Who would devote a day to some fat human named Santa?" Zim muttered, remembering what he had learned the year before about Christmas. "It's just dumb, if you ask me."
"There's a lot more to Christmas than that, Zim." Zim turned in his seat to see the Dib-human's smirking face inches from his own. Carefully pushing Dib back, Zim asked, "Then what else IS there to this Christmas?"
"It's about worship," Dib said simply.
Zim watched him a moment, waiting for him to continue, and finally said, "Aaand ...?"
Dib smirked. "It's about worshipping Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Jesus taught people about God, made the blind see, the lame walk, y'know, stuff like that."
Zim nodded. "Okay. I guess that makes more sense than a day devoted to some fat guy." Dib snickered and walked away.
The class worked silently on all the school work they hadn't finished since the start of the school year, and Zim tried to imitate what the other kids were doing. Pulling out papers, stuffing them in his desk, opening and closing books.
About five minutes later, Mrs. Bitters said, "Alright everyone, pass up your papers, the rest of the day will be devoted to a Christmas party. Pass out gifts or something."
"What?!" Dib complained. "But we haven't finished any of our work! I mean, come on, we had, what five minutes? And--" The other kids silenced him with the Group Glare (trademark). "Some of us WANT a party, Dib!" The Letter M said.
"I'll be gone for the rest of the day, torturing the kids who have detention," Mrs. Bitters continued. "Those students would be..." She looked at a list. "Zim, Dib, and Willy."
Zim raised his hand, and without waiting to be called on said, "Mrs. Bitters, I believe there is some mistake. I don't have detention."
Mrs. Bitters shrugged. "Suit yourself, but by backing out of it you'll be haunted by the Ghost of Christmas Past next week."
"Whatever."
And so, Mrs. Bitters dragged Dib and Willy off, leaving the rest of the class to their party.
~*~
Zim watched the other students. They were all exchanging gifts. 'How quaint,' he thought, yawning. 'Wasting precious monies on little toys that no one really needs. So this is some kind of party tradition? Stupid humans, with their stupid gifts, at a stupid Christmas party. I should've gone to that detention thing. At least the Dib-monkey would've entertained me. Stupid party.' Zim shifted in his seat uncomfortably. 'Why isn't anyone giving ME anything?'
Looking around, all of the kids had gotten at least one gift. Some even had three or four. Zim had nothing.
"This isn't right," he muttered to himself. "Zim is AMAZING! These humans should be waiting in line to give me some useless trinket!"
He scanned the room one last time to see if there was anyone who might be looking his way, then he finally sighed and looked down at his desk. "So, Zim isn't good enough in their eyes to get anything, eh?" he muttered, sliding down in his seat until his head was nearly level with the desk.
He sat still for awhile, listening to the other students talking to each other, thanking each other for presents, and wishing each other a Merry Christmas. No one wished Zim a Merry Christmas. Didn't he deserve that as much as any stinky human did?
Finally Zim glanced up at the clock, to see how much time had passed. "Only two minutes?!" he yelled, and everyone in the room turned to stare at him. Zim slid down in his seat even further, blushing.
Everyone went back to what they were doing. 'That's it,' Zim thought. 'I'm out of here.' He got up, and halfway out the door he felt someone tap his shoulder. Zim spun around, to see a girl with black hair in a ponytail, a red shirt, and a brown skirt. Her eyes were squinted like the Dib-sister's eyes were.
"Eh?" Zim said. "Who are you?"
"My name's Alex," the girl said, smiling slightly. "You probably don't know me. I sit two seats behind Dib, though."
Zim narrowed his eyes. "That horrible DIB."
Alex chuckled. "Yeah, most of us feel that way, too. You're just the first person to really give Dib a piece of your mind. We've given him wedgies and stuff, but you're really making him pay for the stuff he's done to the rest of us."
"The rest of you?" Zim asked, eyeing the class as if for confirmation. "So, what's he done to you?"
"He called me a vampire, and wouldn't believe me when I said I was human until I ate two bowls of spaghetti." Alex made a face. "I hate spaghetti."
Zim nodded. "Yeah. I know how that is. He just keeps doing STUFF!" The Irken grinned evilly. "In fact, if he ever DID find a real alien or vampire, I bet no one would believe him."
Alex nodded. "And he'd deserve it, too!"
They just stood there for a few seconds, remembering all the horrible things that Dib-beast had done to both of them, when suddenly Alex said, "Oh! I almost forgot why I came over here. This is for you." She held out a gift-wrapped package, and Zim hesitantly took it. "What is it?" he asked.
"It's a Christmas gift, silly."
All thoughts of Dib left Zim's mind, and Zim looked up at Alex with surprise and a new admiration. "Um, thanks," he stuttered. "Should I open it?"
"Well, duh."
Zim decided that meant "yes," and tore the wrapping off, to reveal a book. "The War of The Worlds," Zim read off the cover. "Isn't that a movie?"
Alex made another face. "Yeah, it is, but the movie's really dumb. The book's a lot better. I got it for you because you asked Mrs. Bitters the day you moved here how prepared this planet was for an alien invasion. This kinda answers that question. And besides, it's a really cool book about how these Martians almost take over Earth. I really liked it."
'A book on Martians almost taking over this planet?' Zim thought. 'This book could provide the information on human weaknesses I need to conquer this filthy rock! And if they only ALMOST took over ... this story could also tell me what NOT to do when I take over the planet. Unless it's like the movie. That thing about germs didn't really help me that much ..."
Zim realized Alex was still standing in front of him. "Thanks for the book, Alex."
"You're welcome," she said, and turned to walk away.
Suddenly, Zim realized he was acting like a jerk, receiving a gift but not giving Alex anything in return. "Wait, Alex," he said automatically.
"Hmm?" she said, turning around to face Zim.
'Oh, slark it,' Zim thought. 'What am I gonna do NOW?!?' He quickly went through all the things in his Nanopak with his mind. Wasn't there ANYTHING he could give Alex? Some unimportant little thing?!
Zim remembered something Gir had played with once. Zim had taken it from the robot, but Alex might like it.
"Here," Zim said, taking a small orb out of his Nanopak. "This is for you." Zim pushed a button on the side, and the orb started glowing and floating. A strange tune floated out of the orb, one that Alex would not know but Zim recognized as Irk's Anthem. "It stores songs," Zim said. "You have to hold the button I pushed down, and it records what it hears, then it'll play it back." Zim pushed the button a second time, and the orb fell into his palm.
"Wow," Alex murmured, taking the orb, then she flashed Zim a huge smile. "Thanks Zim, and Merry Christmas!"
"Yes, yes, Merry Christmas to you too," Zim said, waving a hand dismissively as Alex returned to her seat, but inside he felt, well, good. Glad he had done something nice for someone else.
Zim sat down at his desk and opened his new book, wondering why he had just given a human wormbaby Irken technology, then decided the stench of the other students had gotten to his head. Or maybe it had to do with this Christmas or that magical "Jesus" person.* There was more to this holiday than Zim had originally thought.
::1. The Eve of the War
No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own ; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinized and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinize the transient creatures that swam and multiplied in a drop of water ...::
'Hey,' Zim thought, 'this book is already better than the movie.'
And so, for the rest of the school day, Zim read War of The Worlds; his first Christmas gift.
~*~
Well, what'ya think? Is it any good? I worked about three hours on this, so I hope so! Please review!
I know it's after Christmas and I'm reloading this fic, sorry! I'm not trying to get more reviews or anything, but I spelled a word wrong. Most of the time, I wouldn't care, but when you spell the word Christ wrong in a Christmas fic, you just feel like you HAVE to fix it.
*For you super-religious people that might be offended by my referring to Jesus Christ as "that magical 'Jesus' person," I mean no disrespect. I am a Christian, and I wouldn't normally talk like that about Jesus, but I'm trying to keep Zim in character and that's probably how he'd refer to a person he heard about who could make the lame walk and the blind see. I doubt Zim is exactly a Baptist. *giggles at the thought of Zim getting baptized*