Jay swiveled around in his seat to stare at his friend, "Gone?" His voice cracked.

Daniel nodded, "I'm sorry Jay. She went to see Willow. Willow had recovered and Janet said that Buffy practically dragged her out of the mountain." He looked down, then back up, "She didn't want to see you mad at her Jay."

Jay stood up, "I've have to find her."

Jack looked at Daniel, "Airport?"

"Airport." Daniel nodded.

Jack stood, "Let me drive Jay." the General stood as well.

"Colonel, you and Major Hayden are going to need to start counseling right away." He said quickly.

At the thought of Dr. McKenzie all of the men grimaced, "As soon as I find Buffy Sir. I promise." Jay said, his eyes pleading for the General to understand.

"Make it quick Colonel. Colonel O'Neill, take care of him."

Jack threw the General a sloppy salute, "You bet George."

Buffy was sitting in one of the chairs at the airport, staring silently at the worn linoleum while Willow watched her with worry. Buffy hadn't slept for 3 days and it was affecting her judgement. So far Willow hadn't tried to talk her out of leaving, she just didn't think Buffy could handle it.

Jack drove his truck fast but carefully down the mountain, aware of Jay's barely concealed impatience.

"We'll find her Jay. She's exhausted and not thinking clearly, but you'll set her straight."

"I love her so much Jack. I want her in my life today and, God…I think forever. She saved me Jack, and now she thinks I'm mad at her. Christ!" He ran a frantic hand through his short hair, his eyes on the road.

"We'll get there. "Jack said soothingly.

Willow sat quietly, reading a magazine when she heard the quick sound of booted feet sprinting down the concourse. Her head came up and she smiled with relief as she saw Jay. He skidded to a stop in front of them and dropped to his knees in front of Buffy, cupping her sad face in his hands.

"I am so not mad at you." He whispered softly.

"It was my fault that this all happened Jay." She whispered back.

"Oh Babe, it was just bad luck, that's all." He cupped her cheek but she moved away.

'Flight 309 to Cleveland is now boarding.' Came the voice over the airport loudspeakers.

Buffy shakily stood. Jay tried to help but she shied away. "I'm going home, I just can't deal right now."

Jay's face was still, his heart cracking, "Be safe and I love you." He watched as she nodded and picked up her bag to stand in line for boarding.

Willow came up and kissed him on the cheek, "She hasn't slept, hardly eaten and has had only you on her mind. She's overwhelmed and overtired." Her brown eyes met his, "Trust me." She nodded to Jack who gave a careless wave back and she stood behind Buffy in line.

Jack rested his warm hand on Jay's shoulder as Jay watched the woman he loved get on the plane to Cleveland. "She'll figure it out Jay, she's a smart cookie."

Jay sighed, then looked at Jack, "Let's get drunk."

Jack looked at his friend for a moment, "Let me call Danny and Teal'c and let's meet 'em at O'Malleys."

"Deal." A deep sigh, "Then I get to deal with Dr. McQuack in the morning."

Stifling a chuckle the men watch the plane race down the runway and go into the air, then they turned and left.

SGC

With a slight hangover Jay sat in the comfortable chair across from Dr. McKenzie, impatient with this process when he really wanted to find out how Buffy was.

"So Colonel, I've read the report."

"With your Ph.D. you should be able to read." Jay replied sarcastically, then winced. He was channeling Jack.

"Are you angry?"

Jay's eyes widened, "Yeah, I'm angry that I'm here and not trying to console the woman I love and let her know it's not her fault."

"Is it?"

"What?"

"Is it her fault?"

"No!"

"Why not?"

Jay huffed out a breath, "If it was anybody's fault it was mine! I should've caught the fact that Simon was upset. I should've known!"

"How?"

"He's one of mine! Rather, he was one of my people. Out of a team of four, now there are only two of us left and it's my fault."

Dr. McKenzie sighed, "I see. You should've realized that Sgt. Ireland would go round the bend because you were what, psychic?"

Jay glared at the Doctor, "In addition to my degree in geology I have a degree from Harvard, Doctor! A Ph.D. in psychology, did ya know that?"

Dr. McKenzie flipped through the file he had in front of him a little frantically, "No, I didn't know that."

"Yeah well, I don't like to advertise it. The point is I should know people but obviously I don't."

The Doctor smiled wryly at Jay, "It's a degree, it doesn't guarantee godhood."

Jay closed his eyes, then sighed and leaned back in his chair. "The woman that I love could see that something was off. Jack could see that something was off. Could I?"

"What else was going on at that time?"

Jay's mind went back to Thanksgiving, and the fiasco afterwards and winced. "An old girlfriend was chasing me, and led Buffy to believe that we were sleeping together behind her back."

"So, you're human, and your mind was on the woman that you love."

Sighing Jay nodded, "Touché Doctor."

"You are not responsible for Sgt. Simon Ireland's actions. He made the decision to keep his loyalties with his first command and not with you. He was an incredibly good actor."

"Jack knew."

This made the Doctor laugh, "Colonel O'Neill hates my guts but he does know his people."

Jay nodded, then stood. "I'm done. I need to make a call." And he opened the door and strode out.

Dr. McKenzie looked at the door thoughtfully, then wrote in his yellow notebook.

Jay strode down the hallway to his office, aware of how bizarre it was that he was physically ok, when for the past few days he had been brutally tortured and wasn't so sure that he would survive. He picked up the phone and called Buffy but got her answering machine. "Buffy I love you and I'm not mad. Please call me." It was the third of many messages he would leave.

Cleveland

Giles sighed as he listened to the latest message. Buffy was in her room. She had gotten home from Colorado Springs, went straight to her room and slept for 2 days straight. During that time he had talked in depth to Willow, reassured a worried Faith and Dawn, and listened to the Colonel's gentle messages on the answering machine.

It was late when he walked upstairs, first opening Willow's and Kennedy's door, smiling to see them wrapped around each other, fast asleep. Then he checked on Dawn, sound asleep with her advanced Spanish book in a heap on the floor beside her. Next was Faith's empty room, she was patrolling. The last room was Buffy's and he quietly opened the door to see her sitting in her window, the moonlight on her face.

"Buffy." Giles walked in and quietly closed the door behind him, then moved over to the bed to sit beside his Slayer.

"Giles." She whispered back tiredly.

"So, can we talk logically about this?"

There was no answer so he turned to look at her, all blonde and cool in the moonlight, face quiet. "Jay called. Again."

Her eyes moved to his, "Is he ok?"

"He said, again, that's he is not angry with you and that he loves you."

No answer.

Giles huffed, "Buffy you are having a crisis of faith!"


A puzzled look crossed her face, "What does Faith have to do with this?"

"Oh for the love of…Buffy! You either love the Colonel or you do not. You either trust him or you do not! You are not doing him any favors by falling apart in this manner. Either trust and love him or let him go and give the rest of us some peace!" he snapped and left her room.

Understanding slowly pushed through her misery and she winced. She was acting like she was the only one in pain. Jay had to deal with having been tortured, one of his team betraying him, another team member sick, one dead and now his girlfriend flipping out. "God, I'm so selfish." She sighed, impatiently wiping the tears off of her face. Poor Robin, he was going to fire her but she had to go back to Colorado Springs.