Winter Loverland
Chapter 3 What I Would Give
Chapter three is up and ready for you to read. If you thought the other chapters were cruel, read on my friends!
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Sakura
Tori grabbed my arm and dragged me out of den, "You did what?" he screamed in a half whisper. "You heard me," I answered, pulling my arm out of his grasp. "I slept with Li and now I'm going to fly all the way to Hong Kong just to get away from this crazy nut place."
"You can't just leave! You have to help me talk Dad out of marrying that teenager. He's just upset that mother's dead and he thinks he's alone. You have to stay to show him that he isn't alone and that he has us, so he doesn't need to marry someone our age," Tori explained, and I just admit that what he said to me made sense. But at the same time, I knew I had to get away from my father, at least for a little while, to figure my own stuff out. I was still going to Hong Kong, I knew I needed that for sure, even if it was only for a few hours. I had to see Li and talk to him about what was going on between and what was going to be continued, or stopped, between us. So maybe I would buy a two way ticket and come back to deal with the issues that lay ahead of me with my father. "If you could just stay with him for a few more days and try to handle that by yourself, then I could come back and help dad realize that the three of us are a family together without Mom, and we will never need another mother figure again. But no matter what, I need to visit Li in Hong Kong and figure out what's going on between us."
"What's going on between you?" Tori questioned. "What's going on between you is that my sixteen year old sister is already having sex! That's what's going on," he snapped. "How could you be so foolish, Sakura? Have you even imagined what would happen to your life if you got pregnant? You wouldn't be able to handle school and take care of Li's little brat spawn. Think of how you've thrown your life down the toilet, Sakura. You may have had fun last night, but the responsibilities that come after your sex aren't so fun."
"Tori, please just drop it. Li and I are adults and we're going to talk about it and discuss our own personal matters as adults. That means that you don't have to worry about whether or not Li and I are going to continue sleeping together. All you need to worry about right now is explaining to Dad about you liking other guys. Now you see, my problem isn't so much as a big deal as yours' is. I may be having sex will Li, but you are having sex with other guys, so Li and I aren't that important anymore. I'll see you when I get back from Hong Kong. Tell Dad I love him, but his new toy doesn't fit in the house, so she's gotta go."
I went back through the dining room and the kitchen. Kero was still eating away, however he had moved on to bigger and better things, like a large chocolate cake that had been sitting in the refrigerator, welcoming Dad back home after he long work in Africa. So maybe it was a good thing that Kero had eaten the cake, because after seeing my father's Christmas present to himself, no one in our house really felt like celebrating, except maybe Dad.
Eli
I sat in my study, staring into the fireplace. Usually, my fights with Madison never really mattered. We would fight over things and subjects that didn't matter, so it didn't really matter who won and who lost. But this was different. The last subject we had argued about had mattered. And Madison had won. I had been so selfish to think that I could keep talking to her like that and get away with it without any consequences. And even if Madison didn't know it, what she had said to me had really hit home and stung me where it hurt. Ever since I had arrived in Reedington, I had always somewhat fancied Madison. She was so gorgeous and kind and full of laughter. But the more time I spent with her, the more it seemed she had started to hate me. And our argument the day before had really blown my chances with her.
I had played a game of chance and I had lost. And the stakes were too high to have even started the stupid ordeal. But now I was stuck. I had been right - Madison had feelings for me, like I had hoped for, but I was stupid enough to believe that I was special enough to treat her like dirt and for her to still feel the same about me. The truth was that I truly cared about Madison and she had cared about me, but now my chances were slim to none.
I shot an angry fireball across the room into the fireplace using a small spell I had picked up in India. It was handy when I was pissed off at myself or at other things and people. I couldn't take my self pity anymore. I pulled on a black long sleeve turtleneck and a pair of black pants. I put my coat on over it and my boots and I walked out of my house, slamming the front door behind me. Madison's house was only a few blocks away and I figured I might as well walk instead of drive. The weather was nice, if not a bit chilly. I walked down the street with my hands in my pockets, watching the last leaves fall from the trees, which looked dead lining the streets. I hurried to Madison's and didn't stop my speed walking until I had reached her large home and had started walking up the driveway, through the front gates which were luckily open. The whole place seemed a little deserted. I sighed and walked up to the front door.
I waited a while, which seemed like eternity, until the front door finally opened and Madison stood there, in a small miniskirt and a tank top. As soon as she saw me, Madison began to shut the door. Desperate to talk to her, I held the door open with my hand, "Please let me just talk to you, Madison."
"I don't want to hear it, Eli," she snapped at me. "I'm so freakin tired of all this crap you want me to put up with and I won't even try anymore. I don't want to see you anymore Eli, which means I don't want you coming by my house anymore or asking my to join you for your ridiculous little lunch dates. I'm sick of you trying to get me to come and then when I finally do, you treat me like scum on your shoe. I won't take that - not from you or anyone else. So just leave me alone."
"I know you're mad at me right now, Madison, and you have every right to be. But I'm sorry about the way I treated you yesterday. It was wrong of me to call you unconfident and for me to play on your feelings like that, but I care about you Madison, and before I couldn't tell you that. But now I can. And I hope you understand that."
I noticed that Madison was crying, "Just leave, OK? How hard is that to understand? Leave me alone, please, Eli. I can't deal with this right now." I shook my head and stepped closer to her, "Don't be afraid, Madison. And don't be scared. This can happen between us, if you let it." Madison shook her head back at me and muttered, "Eli, stop…" before she had finished she protests, I kissed her. Her lips were so soft, I felt I was dieing. Madison started to pull away, but she stopped halfway and kissed me back. Oh good, I thought, this is the beginning of something great.
Sakura
The Hong Kong International Airport was extremely crowded on Monday when I had landed. I had bought my ticket Sunday morning and spent the rest of the day arguing with my father and Tori. My father and Tori defiantly did not want me to go, but I made them soon realize that they didn't have much choice in the matter and that I was going no matter what they managed to say to me. Now that I was actually in Hong Kong, my stomach felt as if I could throw up at any moment. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I was nervous about going to see Li in his hometown. I had never been to Hong Kong before and I didn't know where Li lived, which didn't make the situation any better. I just figured that Li's clan was a large and powerful family in Hong Kong, so I should be able to ask and find my way without too much trouble. I just hoped that it wouldn't be too far away, because I didn't have any other means of transportation besides my feet.
I picked up my duffel bag, which I had set on the floor, and made my way out of the front sliding doors, exiting into a chilly world of small snowflakes. It wasn't snowing heavily, but it was enough to make the whole town seem magical and beautiful. I turned to a guy who worked at the airport and was checking incoming customers and smiled as cheerfully as I could. "Hi. I'm new to Hong Kong, and I was wondering if you had a telephone book I could use to look up my friend's address."
The worker, whose name tag read 'Phil', nodded and pulled out a white pages phone book and set in on the podium, turning it to face me and flipping it open to a random page. Oddly enough, the page was Sha-Sho, which was were I located Li's address. I wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper I had stowed away in my pocket. Then I tried my best to memorize the address, and shoved the piece of paper into my back pocket of my jeans. Then I hurried down the street, pulling the hood of my sweat shirt on over my hair to keep the snow out of it. Checking the street signs, I found my way around Hong Kong and after about a half an hour and numerous times of asking for directions, I finally found myself standing in front of a large, black, iron gate.
Taking a deep breath, I buzzed the little black button on the intercom system tool and waited for someone to answer. "Who is it?" snapped an impatient voice from the sound box after a minute.
"My name is Sakura Avalon and I'm here to see Li Showron," I spoke to the speaker, feeling a little foolish.
There was a pause for a moment on the other side of the intercom, "Do you have an appointment, Miss. Avalon?" the person asked.
"No," I replied honestly. "But I know Li and I'm sure he'll be happy to see me."
There wasn't an answer, but a heard a buzzing sound and the gates slowly opened. I smiled and walked up the drive to the large front door. I rang the door bell softly and within a minute, Li had opened the door and stepped out, closing the door tight behind him. I had expected him to be happy to see me, but the look on Li's face was definitely not joy. It almost looked like anger, "What the hell are you doing here, Sakura?" he hissed under his breath, grabbing my arm and pulling me further away from his house. "I thought we had decided that you were going to stay in Reedington and I was going to come here and spend some time with my mother."
"Well, yeah we did decide that, but a few things have changed that we didn't decided on, so I was kind of hoping I could still take you up on your offer and stay here for two days. If you'd just let me explain," I started, but Li cut me off. "Sakura, go home. Please. This is not a good time for you to show up and you can't stay here right now."
I wrapped my arms around Li's neck and stood on my toes to kiss his nose, "What's got you all in a wad, Li? Did something happen that has got you all upset? If so, just tell me and I'm sure I can help you through it."
Li sighed and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist, "There is nothing you can do to help my problem. I can't even do anything to help myself. My mother has complete power here and nothing I say or do can make her change her mind." Li took a step forward, forcing me to take a step back and my back pressed up against the wall.
"What did your mother decide?" I asked. Li just shook his head and pressed his lips against mine. My chest tightened and I was extremely shocked at the sudden movement. I ran one hand up through his hair and then pressed his head harder against mine. My legs became weak and I fell back against the wall, but Li was holding me securely enough that I didn't slide down to the floor. Then, using one arm, Li pulled me up against him and used the other arm to reach up to my face and carefully cup my face.
The front door flew up and Li's mother stood in the door, "Li, I wanted to ask you about the flowers-" she stopped and gasped and I quickly shoved Li away from me. My cheeks were burning a bright red; I had never been more embarrassed in my entire life. "What flowers?" Li asked naturally, as if his mother hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary.
"Who are you?" His mother asked me hurriedly.
"I'm Sakura Avalon. I live in Reedington and go to school with Li," I told her, "It's nice to met you," I added, feeling I needed to suck up a little. I was, after all, asking to stay at her house for a few days.
"Well, Sakura, it seems as if you have gotten to know my son very well. So answer me this - did you know that Li here is getting married by the end of the month?" she asked me, a cruel smile forming at the edges of her lips.
I felt as if the air had been knocked right out of my body. My chest hurt and my feet began to lose feeling in them. My vision blurred a little. Li grabbed my arm and wrapped an arm around my waist as I muttered, "Oh God," and passed out.
**********
I woke up in a strange new environment. The walls were white, but the rest of the room was almost completely black. All the furniture was black, now the carpet was white, but there was a black rug covering most of it. The room was huge and warm.
That was another thing. My whole body was burning up, except for my forehead, which felt slightly cool. My hand slowly traveled from my side to my face and I felt an ice cold ice pack on my forehead. I groaned softly and tried to turn, but my body wouldn't let me. Li was getting married. That was the last thing I had heard. It couldn't possibly be true - he was only sixteen. But just the way he had been acting made it seem all the more real to me.
"Sakura?" came a low, deep voice that I recognized. I opened my eyes, which I didn't remember closing again, and stared up until Li's face became less blurry. "So that was your big surprise?" I asked him as he sat down on the bed next to me and took the ice pack in his hands, flipping it over, and then placing it back on my forehead. "Yeah, although if you ask me, it's more of a punishment than a surprise."
I nodded and sat up slowly, letting the ice pack fall from my head. I picked it up and threw it on the floor. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked him. "Does that mean that what we have can't continue? What we did doesn't matter? I have to give you up to someone you don't even know?" The questions poured out of me, but new ones just kept forming. "I came here to be with you and get away from the rest of the problems in my life, but now that I've come, I just want to go back again."
Li pushed my loose hair behind my ears, "What problems are you dealing with?" he asked me softly.
"Well, let's see," I started sarcastically. "My father is getting married to a woman who is younger than my brother and sleeping with her. I blabbed that we had sex. My brother is gay and is sleeping with other guys, but he's worried about me sleeping with you and now you are sleeping with some complete stranger, which means that I won't be sleeping with anyone except myself. The only person not involved in the whole situation is Kero, and he isn't even a person. I just can't take it," I cried, letting my tears run. I had started to become a friggin waterfall, crying all the time.
Li hushed me softly and pulled me into his arms, slowly rocking me back in forth. I cried on his shoulders and leaned against him. My world was falling apart, piece by piece, starting at the bottom and allowing the top to tumble down. Li kissed the top of my head, my forehead, my cheek, and then my mouth. I kissed him back hungrily, forcing my tongue into his mouth and pressing his back down against the mattress. Li began to kiss my neck as I started to unbutton the front of his shirt. When I had finished, I put one leg on either side of his two, pulling his shirt off and starting on his undershirt. "Sakura," Li murmured. "Sakura, we can't do this. Not right now." He propped himself up on his elbows and kissed me passionately. I forgot about what he had just said and started to unbuckle his belt while he started on my shirt. My sweat shirt had already been taken off, which made it easier for him. I pulled his belt all the way off and threw it off the bed, unsnapping the button of his pants and unzipping them as well. Li had already managed to get my shirt off and he was working on my pants as well. Just as we had managed getting each others pants off, there was a loud knock at the bedroom door. "Oh, crap," Li muttered, kissing me again before getting back up and reaching for his pants and shirt. "Li, don't answer it," I begged.
"I have to Sakura," he whispered, pulling his clothes back on. "Just get under the covers and pretend to sleep." I nodded reluctantly and slid under the covers, closing my eyes and getting on my side, facing away from the door.
I heard the door open slowly and then a muffled voice, which belonged to Li, I believe.
"Look, I know you are reluctant about our marriage, Li, but you're going to have to get physical after a while. And this isn't even about that. I just need to use your shower because the one in the guest room in broken and I cannot find your mother anywhere to ask permission to use hers. And I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. In little over a week, all of this will be mine as well, including this room, and that bathroom." I heard a slight movement, "And I plan that we will have many sleepless nights in that bed there until you have yourself a male heir," she purred.
I wanted to gag. More likely, I wanted to strangle the little bitch, but I settled with pulling Li's covers around me tightly and praying that she wouldn't kiss him. Tears threatened to fall, but I held them in as best as I could.
"Listen, Han," Li began, "I now know what you're planning on if this marriage goes through, and I want to warn you ahead of time that nothing like that is ever going to happen because you will not be sharing the same quarters as me."
"Believe what you want, Li, but when the time comes, you will be mine and you will produce a heir. Now get out of my way and let me use the shower. You wouldn't want your mother hearing of this little mishap, would you?" Han snapping. I saw a small amount of her shadow as she walked across the room to the bathroom and slammed the door forcefully. As soon as the water had started running, Li came over and crawled into the bed next to me.
I turned onto my other side to face him, "That's your wife to be?" I asked softly. Li just sighed and nodded, pressing his lips against my forehead and then he kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry you're here for all this," he murmured, kissing down the side of my neck.
"Well I'm not," I insisted. "If I wasn't here, maybe you would be sleeping with her and by the next time I saw you, you'd be married and well on your way to having a heir."
Li stopped kissing me and pushed my hair out of my face, "You know that's not true, Sakura. I love you and I would never to that to you. The marriage part may have been correct, but I can't help that. But that other stuff, you know I wouldn't do that." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "When she's done in my bathroom, I've got a jacuzzi tub if you want."
"Li, I'm not going to have sex with you in a tub that you're soon to be wife will have just finished taking a bath in," I hissed. "You've got to be kidding me. I'm never stepping foot in that bathroom."
"Fine," he said. "Then as soon as she leaves, I lock the door and we can sleep in the bed."
I rolled my eyes at him and sat up, pulling the covers up to my waist, "Is that all you ever think about anymore, Showron? Because I've gotta tell you, I don't know how much I like that."
Li sat up and crawled over on top of me, pushing me down into a sea of pillows, "No, it's not all I think about, but it's definitely number one right now," he muttered, pulling the covers over him as well and pressing his lips against mine.
"We can't," I told him, pushing him away. "At least not right now. She's still in there, you know."
"How can I forget? You keep reminding me every five seconds," he chuckled. I sighed and pulled his body down on mine. My legs wrapped around his and my hands started pulling the back of his shirt up. He hadn't had time to put his undershirt back on. "I thought you just said we couldn't do this," he commented.
I kissed his neck, "Don't ruin the moment, Li."
"Li?" came a voice from the bathroom. "Do you know where the towels are? I can't seem to find one."
"That little slut," I whispered under my breath. Li gave me a warning look, so I guessed that he had heard me say that. "They're right there on the counter," he shouted back, before starting to take over where I had left off.
"I can't find any," Han replied after a moment. "Can you come show me where they are?" she asked.
Li started to move, but I grabbed his shoulders, "You aren't going anywhere, Mister. That girl in there is naked and if you think I'm going to let you go see her like that, you've got another thing coming," I hissed at him. Li blushed slightly, "It's right there on the counter."
Han came walking right into the room. "Holy crap," I muttered, hiding my head against Li's shoulder. Li started to turn his head, but I kissed him quickly, "Remember who you're sleeping with," I snapped. "What the hell are you doing?" Li asked her without turning around.
"Well, I'm going to stand here and drip water unto your carpet until you go and get me a towel. It's not like it's something big for you to see me naked, after all. You're going to be seeing a lot of me like this very soon, so you might as well get used to it," Han smiled.
I couldn't believe it. I jumped out of the bed, causing Han to gasp. I was sure that was partially because she hadn't know there was another female in the room, but mostly because I was only in a pair of underwear and a bra. I stormed into the bathroom and snatched two towels off the counter. Then I walked back into the bedroom and threw the towels in her face. "Here's the bloody towels, you blind bat. Now get out of the fucking room and leave us alone, you whore."
Han wrapped a towel around her body and looked as if she was about to cry. She stormed out of the room. I slammed the door shut behind her and locked it. I spun around on my heals and came face to face with Li. "I cannot believe that you just did that," he grinned. "Whenever I think I have finally figured you out, you go and blow my head right off. You sure have spunk."
I frowned at Li and stood there for a moment, "I shouldn't have come. I see that now. I've just been one problem after other. I need to get home and deal with my father before Christmas and I need to talk to Madison because Madison always knows what to do in situations like these. I just can't be around you right now, Li. With all that's been happening, I can't be around you anymore at all," I said, pulling on my shirt and jeans.
"What are you trying to say, Sakura?" Li asked.
I wanted to cry and cry and scream at myself for what I was doing. "I'd give anything to be with you, Li, I truly would, but I can't deal with this. We're sixteen and we're having a midlife crisis. I need to go home and deal with my own crap and leave you here to deal with your own. I'm not mature enough to be in this kind of a relationship. I kept telling myself that I was and that I needed you, but nothing is worse than what this is doing to me. I love you, Li, honest to God I do, but I can't put up with this and with you right now."
"So that's it?" Li asked, grabbing my arm to prevent me from leaving to room like I was trying to. "You're just going to leave Hong Kong, leave me, and pretend like nothing's happened between us?"
"God, Li! Can't we just make this simple? Things aren't exactly working out between us. They never have! Something had always gotten in the way of us being happy. Can't you take that as a sign and just let it go?" I snapped, raising my voice a little.
"No, I can't! I can't just let it go! Things haven't been perfect, you're right. But they've worked. We work, Sakura. I can see that and I know that deep down, you do too. I can't just let you walk out of the door and away from me for evermore. That just wouldn't be right. And you're lying to yourself if you say that the other night didn't mean anything. It did!"
"I know it did! But I can't handle this. You're getting married and there's nothing you can do to stop that. You said so yourself! So just give it up, Li. Give me up and move on," I cried, grabbing my duffel bag and walking down the hall, trying to find my way out. Li ran in front of me and turned back to face me, blocking the way. "You can't do this, Sakura. You can't run away from your problems like this. The feelings you have won't disappear. You care for me and that isn't going to change over night."
"Li, just get out of the way and show me to the door. I don't want to argue with you anymore about this because I've made up my mind. I'm going home," I told him.
Li sighed and showed me to the front door. On the front porch, he kissed me passionately. "Don't think that I'm giving up on us," he told me.
Tears were in my eyes, "Well, you need to. Because I am," I whispered, and with that I turned around and started walking toward the airport.
**********
Li ran his hand through his hair and slammed the front door shut. "Damn that girl," he muttered under his breath. A pair of skinny arms wrapped around his neck from behind Li, "Having a little problem?" Han asked, pressing her lips against his ear. She bit his earlobe playfully. "Do you need a little cheering up?" she purred into Li's ear. "Because I've got just the thing you need," she whispered. Tears were in Li's eyes, even if he would never admit it. He turned around quickly, pinning Han up against the wall and taking her lips into his.
Sakura
I blinked my eyes four times before I realized where I was. I was in Tori's car, heading toward my house. I had no idea if I had actually seen something from Hong Kong or if I had dreamt it up, but I was praying that I had been dreaming. A single tear ran down my left cheek before I wiped it away so Tori wouldn't see. I knew Li and I knew that what I had done to him had hurt, but I just couldn't imagine him move on so quickly. It just didn't seem possible. I truly cared about Li, and even though I thought I felt my love for him start to slip away, I still needed him.
But wasn't that why I had dumped him? I asked myself. Because he was getting married and it was only a matter of time until Li and Han started caring about each other. Even as I thought about it, I just willed myself to be wrong. I didn't think I would be able to handle it if Li started a relationship so soon with Han, but then again, I couldn't really blame him if he did because I was the one who had called it off with him.
"Hey, Monster, you all right back there?" Tori asked me, glancing at my face from his rearview mirror. "You seem a little quite back there. Is there anything you want to talk to me about before we get home and you are hounded by Dad for explanations?"
I stared down at the jacket in my lap. I didn't remember talking it off or even getting off the plane and into Tori's home. All I remembered was the horrible image of Li pressing his fiancé up against the wall. "I don't know what's wrong with me," I began. "I left Hong Kong because I was upset with Li and I broke up with him. He's getting married, for Christ's sake. And I just know by the time the new year rolls in, he will have screwed her more times than he did me. But I just can't get it out of my head that I still need him."
"What do you mean, more times than you? You and Li only had sex once, right?" Tori asked. When all I did to reply was stare straight ahead of me into nothingness, Tori gripped the steering wheel tighter and slammed on the brakes, pulling up into the driveway. He spun around in his seat, "I'm just worried about you, Sakura. I don't even feel that I recognize you anymore. You slept with a guy you've only been going out with for a few months and then you fly to Hong Kong to see him, only to get on a plane the same day, flying back home, but only after breaking up with him. What's gotten into you lately? It's like you're not my sister anymore."
I sighed and leaned back, pulling my legs up to my chest and hugging my arms around them. Tears wanted to fall, but I was just too tired that they couldn't. "I just can't take him anymore, I guess. I left because he has another girl in that house now - one that will still be there after next week. One that he's going to spend the rest of his life with whether he likes it or not. And I can't just stay here and watch him be with someone else, while I'm at home waiting for him to return. I don't want to be a reject. I know I slept with him to make sure he returned to Reedington, but know that he's gone and the deed is done, I really wish I hadn't done it after all. No guy is worth all this, not even Li. As much as I would like to think he is, he isn't. So I'm going to try to move on and find someone else who can be here for me. Someone I'm not going to screw up with and someone I won't sleep with," I sighed and lifted my head slowly, looking up at my brother who had always been there for me, no matter what. "Tori, I'm so sorry about telling Dad that you were gay. I was just so messed up with everything happening, and it just slipped, it truly did. And I'm not saying that you should forgive me or anything, I'm just saying that I'm so sorry if Dad didn't take it well. You know I love you."
Tori smiled, "Of course I know that, Squirt. And of course Dad didn't take it well. Since you've been gone, I've had to go through list after list of all the guys I've ever know and tell Dad whether or not they were just friends or you know, something more than that." I sighed and shook my head, "I'm deeply sorry. But now I need to go face him myself, so your news won't look so bad after I'm done. Although I have no idea what exactly I'm going to tell him. 'Oh yes, I just broke up with the guy I had sex with because he's getting married and he's most likely already had sex with her now too.' I think that's how I'm going to start our beloved conversation." Tori laughed softly and I smiled, rolling my eyes. Then I stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut, grabbing my duffel bag from Tori. "Time to face my worse fear - Dad and the whore."
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Chapter 3 What I Would Give
Chapter three is up and ready for you to read. If you thought the other chapters were cruel, read on my friends!
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Sakura
Tori grabbed my arm and dragged me out of den, "You did what?" he screamed in a half whisper. "You heard me," I answered, pulling my arm out of his grasp. "I slept with Li and now I'm going to fly all the way to Hong Kong just to get away from this crazy nut place."
"You can't just leave! You have to help me talk Dad out of marrying that teenager. He's just upset that mother's dead and he thinks he's alone. You have to stay to show him that he isn't alone and that he has us, so he doesn't need to marry someone our age," Tori explained, and I just admit that what he said to me made sense. But at the same time, I knew I had to get away from my father, at least for a little while, to figure my own stuff out. I was still going to Hong Kong, I knew I needed that for sure, even if it was only for a few hours. I had to see Li and talk to him about what was going on between and what was going to be continued, or stopped, between us. So maybe I would buy a two way ticket and come back to deal with the issues that lay ahead of me with my father. "If you could just stay with him for a few more days and try to handle that by yourself, then I could come back and help dad realize that the three of us are a family together without Mom, and we will never need another mother figure again. But no matter what, I need to visit Li in Hong Kong and figure out what's going on between us."
"What's going on between you?" Tori questioned. "What's going on between you is that my sixteen year old sister is already having sex! That's what's going on," he snapped. "How could you be so foolish, Sakura? Have you even imagined what would happen to your life if you got pregnant? You wouldn't be able to handle school and take care of Li's little brat spawn. Think of how you've thrown your life down the toilet, Sakura. You may have had fun last night, but the responsibilities that come after your sex aren't so fun."
"Tori, please just drop it. Li and I are adults and we're going to talk about it and discuss our own personal matters as adults. That means that you don't have to worry about whether or not Li and I are going to continue sleeping together. All you need to worry about right now is explaining to Dad about you liking other guys. Now you see, my problem isn't so much as a big deal as yours' is. I may be having sex will Li, but you are having sex with other guys, so Li and I aren't that important anymore. I'll see you when I get back from Hong Kong. Tell Dad I love him, but his new toy doesn't fit in the house, so she's gotta go."
I went back through the dining room and the kitchen. Kero was still eating away, however he had moved on to bigger and better things, like a large chocolate cake that had been sitting in the refrigerator, welcoming Dad back home after he long work in Africa. So maybe it was a good thing that Kero had eaten the cake, because after seeing my father's Christmas present to himself, no one in our house really felt like celebrating, except maybe Dad.
Eli
I sat in my study, staring into the fireplace. Usually, my fights with Madison never really mattered. We would fight over things and subjects that didn't matter, so it didn't really matter who won and who lost. But this was different. The last subject we had argued about had mattered. And Madison had won. I had been so selfish to think that I could keep talking to her like that and get away with it without any consequences. And even if Madison didn't know it, what she had said to me had really hit home and stung me where it hurt. Ever since I had arrived in Reedington, I had always somewhat fancied Madison. She was so gorgeous and kind and full of laughter. But the more time I spent with her, the more it seemed she had started to hate me. And our argument the day before had really blown my chances with her.
I had played a game of chance and I had lost. And the stakes were too high to have even started the stupid ordeal. But now I was stuck. I had been right - Madison had feelings for me, like I had hoped for, but I was stupid enough to believe that I was special enough to treat her like dirt and for her to still feel the same about me. The truth was that I truly cared about Madison and she had cared about me, but now my chances were slim to none.
I shot an angry fireball across the room into the fireplace using a small spell I had picked up in India. It was handy when I was pissed off at myself or at other things and people. I couldn't take my self pity anymore. I pulled on a black long sleeve turtleneck and a pair of black pants. I put my coat on over it and my boots and I walked out of my house, slamming the front door behind me. Madison's house was only a few blocks away and I figured I might as well walk instead of drive. The weather was nice, if not a bit chilly. I walked down the street with my hands in my pockets, watching the last leaves fall from the trees, which looked dead lining the streets. I hurried to Madison's and didn't stop my speed walking until I had reached her large home and had started walking up the driveway, through the front gates which were luckily open. The whole place seemed a little deserted. I sighed and walked up to the front door.
I waited a while, which seemed like eternity, until the front door finally opened and Madison stood there, in a small miniskirt and a tank top. As soon as she saw me, Madison began to shut the door. Desperate to talk to her, I held the door open with my hand, "Please let me just talk to you, Madison."
"I don't want to hear it, Eli," she snapped at me. "I'm so freakin tired of all this crap you want me to put up with and I won't even try anymore. I don't want to see you anymore Eli, which means I don't want you coming by my house anymore or asking my to join you for your ridiculous little lunch dates. I'm sick of you trying to get me to come and then when I finally do, you treat me like scum on your shoe. I won't take that - not from you or anyone else. So just leave me alone."
"I know you're mad at me right now, Madison, and you have every right to be. But I'm sorry about the way I treated you yesterday. It was wrong of me to call you unconfident and for me to play on your feelings like that, but I care about you Madison, and before I couldn't tell you that. But now I can. And I hope you understand that."
I noticed that Madison was crying, "Just leave, OK? How hard is that to understand? Leave me alone, please, Eli. I can't deal with this right now." I shook my head and stepped closer to her, "Don't be afraid, Madison. And don't be scared. This can happen between us, if you let it." Madison shook her head back at me and muttered, "Eli, stop…" before she had finished she protests, I kissed her. Her lips were so soft, I felt I was dieing. Madison started to pull away, but she stopped halfway and kissed me back. Oh good, I thought, this is the beginning of something great.
Sakura
The Hong Kong International Airport was extremely crowded on Monday when I had landed. I had bought my ticket Sunday morning and spent the rest of the day arguing with my father and Tori. My father and Tori defiantly did not want me to go, but I made them soon realize that they didn't have much choice in the matter and that I was going no matter what they managed to say to me. Now that I was actually in Hong Kong, my stomach felt as if I could throw up at any moment. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I was nervous about going to see Li in his hometown. I had never been to Hong Kong before and I didn't know where Li lived, which didn't make the situation any better. I just figured that Li's clan was a large and powerful family in Hong Kong, so I should be able to ask and find my way without too much trouble. I just hoped that it wouldn't be too far away, because I didn't have any other means of transportation besides my feet.
I picked up my duffel bag, which I had set on the floor, and made my way out of the front sliding doors, exiting into a chilly world of small snowflakes. It wasn't snowing heavily, but it was enough to make the whole town seem magical and beautiful. I turned to a guy who worked at the airport and was checking incoming customers and smiled as cheerfully as I could. "Hi. I'm new to Hong Kong, and I was wondering if you had a telephone book I could use to look up my friend's address."
The worker, whose name tag read 'Phil', nodded and pulled out a white pages phone book and set in on the podium, turning it to face me and flipping it open to a random page. Oddly enough, the page was Sha-Sho, which was were I located Li's address. I wrote it down on a scrap piece of paper I had stowed away in my pocket. Then I tried my best to memorize the address, and shoved the piece of paper into my back pocket of my jeans. Then I hurried down the street, pulling the hood of my sweat shirt on over my hair to keep the snow out of it. Checking the street signs, I found my way around Hong Kong and after about a half an hour and numerous times of asking for directions, I finally found myself standing in front of a large, black, iron gate.
Taking a deep breath, I buzzed the little black button on the intercom system tool and waited for someone to answer. "Who is it?" snapped an impatient voice from the sound box after a minute.
"My name is Sakura Avalon and I'm here to see Li Showron," I spoke to the speaker, feeling a little foolish.
There was a pause for a moment on the other side of the intercom, "Do you have an appointment, Miss. Avalon?" the person asked.
"No," I replied honestly. "But I know Li and I'm sure he'll be happy to see me."
There wasn't an answer, but a heard a buzzing sound and the gates slowly opened. I smiled and walked up the drive to the large front door. I rang the door bell softly and within a minute, Li had opened the door and stepped out, closing the door tight behind him. I had expected him to be happy to see me, but the look on Li's face was definitely not joy. It almost looked like anger, "What the hell are you doing here, Sakura?" he hissed under his breath, grabbing my arm and pulling me further away from his house. "I thought we had decided that you were going to stay in Reedington and I was going to come here and spend some time with my mother."
"Well, yeah we did decide that, but a few things have changed that we didn't decided on, so I was kind of hoping I could still take you up on your offer and stay here for two days. If you'd just let me explain," I started, but Li cut me off. "Sakura, go home. Please. This is not a good time for you to show up and you can't stay here right now."
I wrapped my arms around Li's neck and stood on my toes to kiss his nose, "What's got you all in a wad, Li? Did something happen that has got you all upset? If so, just tell me and I'm sure I can help you through it."
Li sighed and pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my waist, "There is nothing you can do to help my problem. I can't even do anything to help myself. My mother has complete power here and nothing I say or do can make her change her mind." Li took a step forward, forcing me to take a step back and my back pressed up against the wall.
"What did your mother decide?" I asked. Li just shook his head and pressed his lips against mine. My chest tightened and I was extremely shocked at the sudden movement. I ran one hand up through his hair and then pressed his head harder against mine. My legs became weak and I fell back against the wall, but Li was holding me securely enough that I didn't slide down to the floor. Then, using one arm, Li pulled me up against him and used the other arm to reach up to my face and carefully cup my face.
The front door flew up and Li's mother stood in the door, "Li, I wanted to ask you about the flowers-" she stopped and gasped and I quickly shoved Li away from me. My cheeks were burning a bright red; I had never been more embarrassed in my entire life. "What flowers?" Li asked naturally, as if his mother hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary.
"Who are you?" His mother asked me hurriedly.
"I'm Sakura Avalon. I live in Reedington and go to school with Li," I told her, "It's nice to met you," I added, feeling I needed to suck up a little. I was, after all, asking to stay at her house for a few days.
"Well, Sakura, it seems as if you have gotten to know my son very well. So answer me this - did you know that Li here is getting married by the end of the month?" she asked me, a cruel smile forming at the edges of her lips.
I felt as if the air had been knocked right out of my body. My chest hurt and my feet began to lose feeling in them. My vision blurred a little. Li grabbed my arm and wrapped an arm around my waist as I muttered, "Oh God," and passed out.
**********
I woke up in a strange new environment. The walls were white, but the rest of the room was almost completely black. All the furniture was black, now the carpet was white, but there was a black rug covering most of it. The room was huge and warm.
That was another thing. My whole body was burning up, except for my forehead, which felt slightly cool. My hand slowly traveled from my side to my face and I felt an ice cold ice pack on my forehead. I groaned softly and tried to turn, but my body wouldn't let me. Li was getting married. That was the last thing I had heard. It couldn't possibly be true - he was only sixteen. But just the way he had been acting made it seem all the more real to me.
"Sakura?" came a low, deep voice that I recognized. I opened my eyes, which I didn't remember closing again, and stared up until Li's face became less blurry. "So that was your big surprise?" I asked him as he sat down on the bed next to me and took the ice pack in his hands, flipping it over, and then placing it back on my forehead. "Yeah, although if you ask me, it's more of a punishment than a surprise."
I nodded and sat up slowly, letting the ice pack fall from my head. I picked it up and threw it on the floor. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked him. "Does that mean that what we have can't continue? What we did doesn't matter? I have to give you up to someone you don't even know?" The questions poured out of me, but new ones just kept forming. "I came here to be with you and get away from the rest of the problems in my life, but now that I've come, I just want to go back again."
Li pushed my loose hair behind my ears, "What problems are you dealing with?" he asked me softly.
"Well, let's see," I started sarcastically. "My father is getting married to a woman who is younger than my brother and sleeping with her. I blabbed that we had sex. My brother is gay and is sleeping with other guys, but he's worried about me sleeping with you and now you are sleeping with some complete stranger, which means that I won't be sleeping with anyone except myself. The only person not involved in the whole situation is Kero, and he isn't even a person. I just can't take it," I cried, letting my tears run. I had started to become a friggin waterfall, crying all the time.
Li hushed me softly and pulled me into his arms, slowly rocking me back in forth. I cried on his shoulders and leaned against him. My world was falling apart, piece by piece, starting at the bottom and allowing the top to tumble down. Li kissed the top of my head, my forehead, my cheek, and then my mouth. I kissed him back hungrily, forcing my tongue into his mouth and pressing his back down against the mattress. Li began to kiss my neck as I started to unbutton the front of his shirt. When I had finished, I put one leg on either side of his two, pulling his shirt off and starting on his undershirt. "Sakura," Li murmured. "Sakura, we can't do this. Not right now." He propped himself up on his elbows and kissed me passionately. I forgot about what he had just said and started to unbuckle his belt while he started on my shirt. My sweat shirt had already been taken off, which made it easier for him. I pulled his belt all the way off and threw it off the bed, unsnapping the button of his pants and unzipping them as well. Li had already managed to get my shirt off and he was working on my pants as well. Just as we had managed getting each others pants off, there was a loud knock at the bedroom door. "Oh, crap," Li muttered, kissing me again before getting back up and reaching for his pants and shirt. "Li, don't answer it," I begged.
"I have to Sakura," he whispered, pulling his clothes back on. "Just get under the covers and pretend to sleep." I nodded reluctantly and slid under the covers, closing my eyes and getting on my side, facing away from the door.
I heard the door open slowly and then a muffled voice, which belonged to Li, I believe.
"Look, I know you are reluctant about our marriage, Li, but you're going to have to get physical after a while. And this isn't even about that. I just need to use your shower because the one in the guest room in broken and I cannot find your mother anywhere to ask permission to use hers. And I don't know why you're making such a big deal out of this. In little over a week, all of this will be mine as well, including this room, and that bathroom." I heard a slight movement, "And I plan that we will have many sleepless nights in that bed there until you have yourself a male heir," she purred.
I wanted to gag. More likely, I wanted to strangle the little bitch, but I settled with pulling Li's covers around me tightly and praying that she wouldn't kiss him. Tears threatened to fall, but I held them in as best as I could.
"Listen, Han," Li began, "I now know what you're planning on if this marriage goes through, and I want to warn you ahead of time that nothing like that is ever going to happen because you will not be sharing the same quarters as me."
"Believe what you want, Li, but when the time comes, you will be mine and you will produce a heir. Now get out of my way and let me use the shower. You wouldn't want your mother hearing of this little mishap, would you?" Han snapping. I saw a small amount of her shadow as she walked across the room to the bathroom and slammed the door forcefully. As soon as the water had started running, Li came over and crawled into the bed next to me.
I turned onto my other side to face him, "That's your wife to be?" I asked softly. Li just sighed and nodded, pressing his lips against my forehead and then he kissed my cheek. "I'm sorry you're here for all this," he murmured, kissing down the side of my neck.
"Well I'm not," I insisted. "If I wasn't here, maybe you would be sleeping with her and by the next time I saw you, you'd be married and well on your way to having a heir."
Li stopped kissing me and pushed my hair out of my face, "You know that's not true, Sakura. I love you and I would never to that to you. The marriage part may have been correct, but I can't help that. But that other stuff, you know I wouldn't do that." He lowered his voice to a whisper, "When she's done in my bathroom, I've got a jacuzzi tub if you want."
"Li, I'm not going to have sex with you in a tub that you're soon to be wife will have just finished taking a bath in," I hissed. "You've got to be kidding me. I'm never stepping foot in that bathroom."
"Fine," he said. "Then as soon as she leaves, I lock the door and we can sleep in the bed."
I rolled my eyes at him and sat up, pulling the covers up to my waist, "Is that all you ever think about anymore, Showron? Because I've gotta tell you, I don't know how much I like that."
Li sat up and crawled over on top of me, pushing me down into a sea of pillows, "No, it's not all I think about, but it's definitely number one right now," he muttered, pulling the covers over him as well and pressing his lips against mine.
"We can't," I told him, pushing him away. "At least not right now. She's still in there, you know."
"How can I forget? You keep reminding me every five seconds," he chuckled. I sighed and pulled his body down on mine. My legs wrapped around his and my hands started pulling the back of his shirt up. He hadn't had time to put his undershirt back on. "I thought you just said we couldn't do this," he commented.
I kissed his neck, "Don't ruin the moment, Li."
"Li?" came a voice from the bathroom. "Do you know where the towels are? I can't seem to find one."
"That little slut," I whispered under my breath. Li gave me a warning look, so I guessed that he had heard me say that. "They're right there on the counter," he shouted back, before starting to take over where I had left off.
"I can't find any," Han replied after a moment. "Can you come show me where they are?" she asked.
Li started to move, but I grabbed his shoulders, "You aren't going anywhere, Mister. That girl in there is naked and if you think I'm going to let you go see her like that, you've got another thing coming," I hissed at him. Li blushed slightly, "It's right there on the counter."
Han came walking right into the room. "Holy crap," I muttered, hiding my head against Li's shoulder. Li started to turn his head, but I kissed him quickly, "Remember who you're sleeping with," I snapped. "What the hell are you doing?" Li asked her without turning around.
"Well, I'm going to stand here and drip water unto your carpet until you go and get me a towel. It's not like it's something big for you to see me naked, after all. You're going to be seeing a lot of me like this very soon, so you might as well get used to it," Han smiled.
I couldn't believe it. I jumped out of the bed, causing Han to gasp. I was sure that was partially because she hadn't know there was another female in the room, but mostly because I was only in a pair of underwear and a bra. I stormed into the bathroom and snatched two towels off the counter. Then I walked back into the bedroom and threw the towels in her face. "Here's the bloody towels, you blind bat. Now get out of the fucking room and leave us alone, you whore."
Han wrapped a towel around her body and looked as if she was about to cry. She stormed out of the room. I slammed the door shut behind her and locked it. I spun around on my heals and came face to face with Li. "I cannot believe that you just did that," he grinned. "Whenever I think I have finally figured you out, you go and blow my head right off. You sure have spunk."
I frowned at Li and stood there for a moment, "I shouldn't have come. I see that now. I've just been one problem after other. I need to get home and deal with my father before Christmas and I need to talk to Madison because Madison always knows what to do in situations like these. I just can't be around you right now, Li. With all that's been happening, I can't be around you anymore at all," I said, pulling on my shirt and jeans.
"What are you trying to say, Sakura?" Li asked.
I wanted to cry and cry and scream at myself for what I was doing. "I'd give anything to be with you, Li, I truly would, but I can't deal with this. We're sixteen and we're having a midlife crisis. I need to go home and deal with my own crap and leave you here to deal with your own. I'm not mature enough to be in this kind of a relationship. I kept telling myself that I was and that I needed you, but nothing is worse than what this is doing to me. I love you, Li, honest to God I do, but I can't put up with this and with you right now."
"So that's it?" Li asked, grabbing my arm to prevent me from leaving to room like I was trying to. "You're just going to leave Hong Kong, leave me, and pretend like nothing's happened between us?"
"God, Li! Can't we just make this simple? Things aren't exactly working out between us. They never have! Something had always gotten in the way of us being happy. Can't you take that as a sign and just let it go?" I snapped, raising my voice a little.
"No, I can't! I can't just let it go! Things haven't been perfect, you're right. But they've worked. We work, Sakura. I can see that and I know that deep down, you do too. I can't just let you walk out of the door and away from me for evermore. That just wouldn't be right. And you're lying to yourself if you say that the other night didn't mean anything. It did!"
"I know it did! But I can't handle this. You're getting married and there's nothing you can do to stop that. You said so yourself! So just give it up, Li. Give me up and move on," I cried, grabbing my duffel bag and walking down the hall, trying to find my way out. Li ran in front of me and turned back to face me, blocking the way. "You can't do this, Sakura. You can't run away from your problems like this. The feelings you have won't disappear. You care for me and that isn't going to change over night."
"Li, just get out of the way and show me to the door. I don't want to argue with you anymore about this because I've made up my mind. I'm going home," I told him.
Li sighed and showed me to the front door. On the front porch, he kissed me passionately. "Don't think that I'm giving up on us," he told me.
Tears were in my eyes, "Well, you need to. Because I am," I whispered, and with that I turned around and started walking toward the airport.
**********
Li ran his hand through his hair and slammed the front door shut. "Damn that girl," he muttered under his breath. A pair of skinny arms wrapped around his neck from behind Li, "Having a little problem?" Han asked, pressing her lips against his ear. She bit his earlobe playfully. "Do you need a little cheering up?" she purred into Li's ear. "Because I've got just the thing you need," she whispered. Tears were in Li's eyes, even if he would never admit it. He turned around quickly, pinning Han up against the wall and taking her lips into his.
Sakura
I blinked my eyes four times before I realized where I was. I was in Tori's car, heading toward my house. I had no idea if I had actually seen something from Hong Kong or if I had dreamt it up, but I was praying that I had been dreaming. A single tear ran down my left cheek before I wiped it away so Tori wouldn't see. I knew Li and I knew that what I had done to him had hurt, but I just couldn't imagine him move on so quickly. It just didn't seem possible. I truly cared about Li, and even though I thought I felt my love for him start to slip away, I still needed him.
But wasn't that why I had dumped him? I asked myself. Because he was getting married and it was only a matter of time until Li and Han started caring about each other. Even as I thought about it, I just willed myself to be wrong. I didn't think I would be able to handle it if Li started a relationship so soon with Han, but then again, I couldn't really blame him if he did because I was the one who had called it off with him.
"Hey, Monster, you all right back there?" Tori asked me, glancing at my face from his rearview mirror. "You seem a little quite back there. Is there anything you want to talk to me about before we get home and you are hounded by Dad for explanations?"
I stared down at the jacket in my lap. I didn't remember talking it off or even getting off the plane and into Tori's home. All I remembered was the horrible image of Li pressing his fiancé up against the wall. "I don't know what's wrong with me," I began. "I left Hong Kong because I was upset with Li and I broke up with him. He's getting married, for Christ's sake. And I just know by the time the new year rolls in, he will have screwed her more times than he did me. But I just can't get it out of my head that I still need him."
"What do you mean, more times than you? You and Li only had sex once, right?" Tori asked. When all I did to reply was stare straight ahead of me into nothingness, Tori gripped the steering wheel tighter and slammed on the brakes, pulling up into the driveway. He spun around in his seat, "I'm just worried about you, Sakura. I don't even feel that I recognize you anymore. You slept with a guy you've only been going out with for a few months and then you fly to Hong Kong to see him, only to get on a plane the same day, flying back home, but only after breaking up with him. What's gotten into you lately? It's like you're not my sister anymore."
I sighed and leaned back, pulling my legs up to my chest and hugging my arms around them. Tears wanted to fall, but I was just too tired that they couldn't. "I just can't take him anymore, I guess. I left because he has another girl in that house now - one that will still be there after next week. One that he's going to spend the rest of his life with whether he likes it or not. And I can't just stay here and watch him be with someone else, while I'm at home waiting for him to return. I don't want to be a reject. I know I slept with him to make sure he returned to Reedington, but know that he's gone and the deed is done, I really wish I hadn't done it after all. No guy is worth all this, not even Li. As much as I would like to think he is, he isn't. So I'm going to try to move on and find someone else who can be here for me. Someone I'm not going to screw up with and someone I won't sleep with," I sighed and lifted my head slowly, looking up at my brother who had always been there for me, no matter what. "Tori, I'm so sorry about telling Dad that you were gay. I was just so messed up with everything happening, and it just slipped, it truly did. And I'm not saying that you should forgive me or anything, I'm just saying that I'm so sorry if Dad didn't take it well. You know I love you."
Tori smiled, "Of course I know that, Squirt. And of course Dad didn't take it well. Since you've been gone, I've had to go through list after list of all the guys I've ever know and tell Dad whether or not they were just friends or you know, something more than that." I sighed and shook my head, "I'm deeply sorry. But now I need to go face him myself, so your news won't look so bad after I'm done. Although I have no idea what exactly I'm going to tell him. 'Oh yes, I just broke up with the guy I had sex with because he's getting married and he's most likely already had sex with her now too.' I think that's how I'm going to start our beloved conversation." Tori laughed softly and I smiled, rolling my eyes. Then I stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut, grabbing my duffel bag from Tori. "Time to face my worse fear - Dad and the whore."
++++++++++
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A little note from me here at the end. I'm hoping to post the prequel to this fan-fic when I finish this one, but first I'm going to finish the Harry Potter, the Dragon Ball Z, and the other Cardcaptors Sakura fics I've already started. Make sure you check out my author's page. I keep updates there and previews for upcoming chapters and fics. I've also finally got my Yahoo group back up. It is located at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/antidarthani. There, you will find links to all my fan-fic, a mailing list so you know when the stories are updated and added, and chances for sneak previews before anyone else! Sign up today, it takes only a minute and it helps me keep track of how many people are reading my fan-fics. I'd really appreciate it if you have a spare second.