Winter Loverland
Chapter 4 What You Do That Hurts Me So
Got a stupid fly in my room and I can't kill it and it keeps flying it my ear with a freaky buzzing sound. Not to mention that it's trying to hurt me. So what if I'm trying to kill it? Please review with suggestions and comments and any grammatical errors you might find. And thanks to all my wonderful, wonderful readers and reviewers that have stuck with me this far. I love you all lots! And now on to the chapter!
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Sakura
"Daddy, please don't be mad. I know that it's hard for you to understand why I would do something as stupid and crazy at this, but it's not like he's four or something. I mean, that's how big of an age gap you and Kari have. Li and I are the same age." I had been arguing with him for ages and he still didn't understand. As soon as I had stepped one foot in the front door, he had yanked me by the arm into his study and slammed the door shut. We had been arguing, yelling even, for an hour almost. My voice was becoming hoarse and I was about to give up the fight, just so I could have a nice, tall glass of water and go flop down on my bed, to hibernate like a bear until school started again.
"I don't want to argue about this anymore," I started to explain. "I'm tired and tired of trying to explain it all to you. It's water under the bridge, so just let it go. I know you're disappointed in me. I was your only daughter and I let you down by having sex before I was married. Well, you're going to have to deal with it, because I'm having to deal with it. And every time someone brings Him up, I just keep thinking that I might have made a mistake dumping him and coming back. Maybe, if it would make you feel better, I'll fly back and we'll elope and then run off to a foreign country, never to be seen or heard from again."
"What would make me feel better," my father told me, glaring at me from behind his desk, where he had started standing only a few minutes ago, "would be for you to just give up on the bastard and never date another boy again."
I hated the way my father and Tori called Li names. But after a while, I couldn't stand up for him anymore. I wasn't strong enough to side with him after all he'd done to me. I decided then and there, as I walked out of my father's study during the middle of an important lecture he was giving me, that I wouldn't be held down by Li any longer. I was going to get out and find myself someone else - someone who would actually care about me. Someone who wouldn't shove another girl up against the wall and start groping her.
Madison
I looked over the candle to see Eli's face, staring back at me. I wanted to blush madly, but at the same time, I was so proud and happy, that I didn't care anymore. Ever since I had kissed him, I knew I wouldn't be able to just hide away from him. He was going to follow after me, and after the night I was having with him, I didn't mind one bit.
Eli ran his hand across the tablecloth until it reached mine. He wrapped his fingers around mine and studied my hand with his eyes carefully. His index finger ran up and down the knuckles of each of my finger, before he leaned slightly across the table and gave my hand a satisfied kiss. I blushed softly, but smiled when he wrapped his fingers around mine and didn't let go. That was the way things were supposed to be between us. No consent arguing or bickering, just sitting at a table lit by candles and holding each other hands. So what if things didn't work out right away? I finally had what I wanted and I'd be damned if I let anything take him away.
The waiter walked over to our table, a formal tuxedo on. "May I ask what the two of you will be having for the evening?"
I smiled and ordered lobster. Then the waiter turned to Eli and he ordered something in French that I didn't understand. When the waiter had left us, I looked up across the table to face Eli. "I didn't know you spoke French."
Eli smiled at me, "I lived there for a few years before I lived in England. It's such a beautiful language, isn't it?" he asked me.
I nodded, "It is very romantic," I added. "By the way, what did you order?" I asked him. Eli smiled, but I could tell that he had started to blush. "I actually don't know. I didn't learn much French. I learned mostly how to pronounce the words, but that was about all I could manage." I laughed softly and smiled at Eli. It was great to be eating with him, on an official date. I loved the way his hand felt in mine and I loved where he had brought me for dinner. By the time we had sat down, the sun had already begun to set on the horizon. The sky was multi shaded of pink and purple and an occasional red. I absolutely loved it.
Li
I watched Sakura walk out of my house. It seemed as if everything had slowed to a frame by frame movement, like an extremely important part of a movie. And in a way, that moment could possibly be called just that. Sakura was telling me that she was leaving me and going back to Hong Kong and she didn't want to be with me anymore. That was very important indeed, and I couldn't do anything but stand in the doorway, the door wide open, praying that she would suddenly, as if by miracle, turn around and walk back up to me and say that she never meant it.
But after ten minutes of just standing there, I turned around and Han was standing there. She smiled at me sweetly enough. Almost as if she really cared about what happened to Sakura. And the truth was that she did. She wanted Sakura out of my life and as far away from me as Sakura could get. Well, I was sure she would be happy. Because that was where Sakura was. Kari put a little sexy pout on her lips and stepped up close to me, "Li, you really don't have to worry. I promise I won't hurt you like she hurt you. I'll be right here to comfort you the whole time. And maybe," she purred, "you can give me a little comfort back."
I quickly slammed Han against the wall, "Stay away from me, or else you're going to find yourself in a very uncomfortable position that you won't want to be in."
"Well, Li, I want to be in it if it's under you," she murmured, trying to bite my earlobe. I hissed softly under my breath and slammed her against the wall again before letting her fall like a puddle on the floor. "Stay away from me, got it?"
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I sat up quickly in my bed. Sweat was rolling down my face and my shirt was so wet that it stuck to my chest. I peeled it off of my skin and threw it off to the side of the room. I was breathing heavily and I wasn't quite sure why. It wasn't like a nightmare. I was just recalling what had happened earlier. I wasn't sure why, but something just didn't seem right about it. Something seemed off, almost as if someone was in my memory with me and knew what I had been thinking.
But that's not possible, I told myself. I slid back against the pillow. I was just overreacting. Nothing had changed since Sakura left and I was afraid that nothing would. I was beginning to finally realize just how much she really meant to me. It wasn't about sex or making out, it was about how she made me feel. I couldn't remember what it felt like to be with her, but I was feeling what it was like without her and I didn't like it. Not one bit. I sighed and slipped out of the bed. Now that my mind had been fixed on Sakura, it wasn't going to be possible for me to fall back asleep. That was one of the few things that annoyed me about Sakura. Once she got into your head, she never left.
As I made my way through the house, which was very dark except for the short rays of moonlight that entered through the windows and left long shadows on furniture on the walls. Once I had made it through the house, I ended up in the kitchen. All the servers and maids were off duty until five in the morning. The best time to eat, because I would be able to eat in peace and fix my own food. I loved my house and all the people who worked for our family, but sometimes I just wanted to be able to fix my own meal in peace, without people rushing up to me and offering me food or drinks. I wanted to be able to make a large, ham sandwich with all the fatty condiments that my mother never let the cooks put on our meals.
That was one of the reasons I loved it in Reedington. The freedom to be myself and be on my own. The privacy in my own apartment was the best of it all. I was in charge of cleaning all of my own clothes and if I didn't want to make the bed in the morning, then it would still be unmade in the afternoon when I got home from school. Although, I had to admit, it did get lonely without anyone being there. But Sakura always made up for that.
God, Sakura. I just couldn't stop thinking about her no matter how hard I tried. I had wanted to really, truly cry when she had left. I couldn't even remember the last time I had wanted to cry. But I still couldn't. And I was so stupid. I could have ran after her and prevented her for leaving, but I just watched her walk out of my life, life a complete idiot.
I opened the refrigerator door and pulled out the ham, the turkey, the cheese, mayonnaise, mustard, pickle relish, lettuce, and tomatoes. I picked out two slices of bread of the bread box and then reached to get a plate out of the cupboard. I made my sandwich, listening to the silence of the house and loving it.
As I sat down at the kitchen counter, I thought I heard a slight brushing noise, a sound of movement, coming from the direction of the living room, but I just shook my head and told myself to chill out and stop being paranoid. I continued eating, but I heard the same noise again only a few minutes later. I quickly finished off my sandwich. Getting up from the counter without making a sound, I quietly put my plate into the sink and tip toed to the doorway. I hid to the right of it, and slowly peered out around the frame. I moved my head only a microsecond before a baseball bat was sung into the room.
Reacting as quickly as I could, I grabbed the baseball bat and grabbed at the person who had swung it at me. The person tried to scream, but I quickly covered the person's mouth with my hand. I yanked the person closer to me as they dropped the bat to the kitchen floor, making a loud clattering against the tile. I ran my hand up and down the wall until I found the light switch and turned it on.
A female in a white, short nightdress was being held in my arms. I looked down at the black, wavy hair and soft, light blue eyes. I quickly pushed her away and released her mouth. "What the hell were you thinking, Han?" I snapped, leaning against the counter. Her face was a pale white color, "I was thinking that a robber had made his way into the house and that I needed to stop him! What the hell are you doing, Li? It's three in the morning and you're hiding away in the kitchen! You deserved to be whacked over the head with a baseball bat if it'll knock some sense into you!"
'She sounds just like Sakura when she's angry', was the first thought that entered my head. I took a deep breath. I had to face the facts. I couldn't escape from Sakura, even if she fell off the edge of the world. I loved her, and everything reminded me of her. "Just go back to sleep, Han. And try not to hurt anyone in the morning." Han glared at me in shock and embarrassment as I left the kitchen and walked to bedroom, thinking only of how I wanted to get away from my house and just talk to Sakura.
Sakura
"I'm so sorry, but what did you say was your name again?" I asked, sipping my vanilla milkshake through the straw.
"It's Robert," the boy sitting across the booth from me replied. "Are you ok, Sakura, or should I take you home? I'd hate for you to get sick on our first date."
I almost choked when he said the word date. But, after all I reasoned, it was a date. He had asked me out for milkshakes and I had said yes. The whole thing was stupid really, but that didn't stop me from feeling sick in the stomach. As I looked at Robert, I couldn't help but picturing Li sitting across from me. But then again, Li had never sat across from me. He had always sat next to me. And that was great, but I was going out with Robert to forget about Li and push the last few months to the back of my mind. Unfortunately, it wasn't working out too well.
"Do you want to go dancing?" he asked me out of the blue. I almost gagged. Dancing, with Robert? I had met him at a local coffee shop and we had talked for almost an hour when he had asked me out. It hadn't seemed like such a bad idea at the time, but now that I was actually there, I might have changed my mind. Not that there was anything wrong with Robert. No, it was more like there wasn't anything right about Robert. But I couldn't have such high standards. After all, it was winter break, and all the smart people were off somewhere doing something. I was stuck in Reedington, trying to get away from people. At that time of year, it wasn't too hard.
"I don't think that dancing's such a good idea. I'm afraid I was one of those very unfortunate people who were born with two left feet. And none of them like to dance, either," I answered, finishing off my milkshake. By then, I was about ready to run out the place and never look back, forgetting all about that horrible night with Robert. Things weren't exactly going the way I had hoped they would. That's to say the least.
"Well, at least you were born with feet, unlike some people on this planet. So why don't you bring those two left feet along with me and I'll teach them how to dance?" Robert asked, who had finished off his milkshake quite a while ago.
He can't seriously be talking about my feet like they're people, I thought. I was beginning to be disguised by Robert. My problem was that I always saw the worst of people, and for Robert, that was quite a lot. I hated to be so mean to him, but he was driving me bonkers! "Robert, thanks so much for the milkshake, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave now. I've got family obligations to get to and my father will kill me if I'm not home in time. But this was fun," I lied through my teeth. I had never been such a great liar and it was even harder for me to lie when I was nervous.
I made to get up and leave the little shop, but Robert reached across the table and took a hold of my hand. "This was really great, Sakura. I haven't met someone like you in such a long time," he told me. I almost laugh. You mean, someone so eager to get away from you? I thought to myself. "I want to go out with you again, if you have anytime away from your family obligations, whatever they are. Would you mind giving me your phone number so that I can call you and ask you out on another date?"
Oh crap, I thought. He wanted my number. What could I say? I sure as hell wasn't going to give it to him. Not after the way our first date had gone. "Our phone isn't working right now," I fibbed, hoping he would buy it, "My father's a little behind on paying the bills."
"OK, well, how about your address so that I can come visit you and maybe met your parents?" Robert tried again, but he had loosened the grip on my hand. Big mistake for him.
I shot out of the booth, "That isn't a good idea. Maybe I'll see you around sometime," I said and ran out the front doors, pushing them open and escaping into the cold, winter night. As I hurried down the sidewalk, I watched my breath, little white clouds in the dark night. It was somewhat comforting, and peaceful. I didn't know how I was ever going to be able to find myself a boyfriend if I couldn't even make it through the first date. Dating was harder than I had ever thought. With Li, I had never had to decide I liked him, it had just happened. I scolded myself as I turned down the street that my house was located on. I had to stop thinking about Li. No matter what. Because Li and I were over.
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"Where have you been?" my father snapped when I walked in the front door, taking off my scarf and coat and hanging them on the coat rack. "I've been out," I answered simply, kicking off my boats and taking the stairs two at a time. I walked down the hallway to Tori's room. I knocked once, as if I was going to be polite, and then I opened it wide open.
"AHHH!" I yelled and covered my eyes. "Oh fuck!" I said as I peeked through my fingers and then shut them back over my eyes again. "Gross, gross, gross!" I yelled.
Tori sat up in his bed and glared at me, in shock, "Sakura, what the hell do you think you're doing? Haven't you ever heard of knocking and then waiting for a response?" he snapped.
"Well, if I had know that you were screwing around, believe you me, I would never have even knocked. I wouldn't even have bothered wanting to talk to you. You've scarred me for life! I'll never be able to look you in the face again without seeing this image in my head-" I froze and then gasped, taking my hands off of my face. "That a female," I stated, dumbfounded.
Tori sighed and nodded and pulled his boxers and a white undershirt on. He got out of the bed and pulled me out of his room. The whole time, I had my face back to his bed, looking at who was still in it. Once we were back out in the hall, Tori shut the door. "Dad's home, you know," I hissed to him. "If he finds out that you're sleeping with our soon to be mother, he's going to kill you."
"Well, you have to admit that it makes more sense for me to sleep with her. After all, she is younger than I am," Tori told me, as if it mattered.
"Tori," I snapped, "you're gay! You shouldn't be sleeping with Kari either. No one in this household should be sleeping with her. She shouldn't be here!" I stared at my brother's face. "It's just too much, you know? This whole fucking ordeal is too much. I can't handle this anymore. I've got to talk to someone. I'm going insane and before anyone knows it, they'll have me locked up in a padded, white room in a straight jacket! You and Dad and Kari are ALL messed up in the head. This is not a normal family! I not belong to this family!"
"Sakura, it's not like you've made things any better for anyone!" Tori yelled back.
"Oh, ok! I see what you're saying. You're saying that you're sleeping with Dad's fiancé because I slept with Li. Yes, Tori, that makes totally sense to me. You're even more messed up than I thought you were! That Kari person needs to get out of this household before she drives us all crazy! And you wanna know something, Tori? I'm about ready to kill myself, but not after I kill the three of you! If Mom was here, none of this would be happening. Dad wouldn't be getting married, you wouldn't be saying that you're gay, but sleeping with females, and the whole mess with Li wouldn't have happened because I would never have become a Cardcaptor in the first place!
"I'm tired of having to put up with this family. Since Mom's died, we've all been falling apart, but it's never been this bad before. And I'm to a point where I just can't take it anymore! So I'm going to go spend the night at Madison's!"
"Sakura," Tori reasoned, "you can't always run away from your problems. This isn't going to change and you going to Madison's is only going to slow things down from changing. Besides, you know as well as I do that Dad and I aren't going to change our ways. You've got to learn to handle this," he told me.
"I can't!" I yelled. "I can't, I can't, I CAN NOT!" I screamed as loud as I could. I stormed down the hall, back to my room. I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. I heard parts of wood split and I laughed evilly. I yanked out my duffel bag and stuffed random clothes into it. I zipped it shut and raced down to stairs. I had to get out of my house. The walls were closing in around me. I was going to suffocate if I didn't escape from there. I managed to get out of the front door. The snow was falling hard and the yard was covered in a thin blanket of white. I started walking across it, but halfway across, my head started to swirl and a pain in the back of my head made me pause for a moment. And without the movement of my body, I froze up. It became hard for me to breath. I tried to yell out to my dad, to Tori, to anyone who would be able to hear me. But all that escaped my lips was a soft gasped as my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I collapsed to the ground.
Chapter 4 What You Do That Hurts Me So
Got a stupid fly in my room and I can't kill it and it keeps flying it my ear with a freaky buzzing sound. Not to mention that it's trying to hurt me. So what if I'm trying to kill it? Please review with suggestions and comments and any grammatical errors you might find. And thanks to all my wonderful, wonderful readers and reviewers that have stuck with me this far. I love you all lots! And now on to the chapter!
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Sakura
"Daddy, please don't be mad. I know that it's hard for you to understand why I would do something as stupid and crazy at this, but it's not like he's four or something. I mean, that's how big of an age gap you and Kari have. Li and I are the same age." I had been arguing with him for ages and he still didn't understand. As soon as I had stepped one foot in the front door, he had yanked me by the arm into his study and slammed the door shut. We had been arguing, yelling even, for an hour almost. My voice was becoming hoarse and I was about to give up the fight, just so I could have a nice, tall glass of water and go flop down on my bed, to hibernate like a bear until school started again.
"I don't want to argue about this anymore," I started to explain. "I'm tired and tired of trying to explain it all to you. It's water under the bridge, so just let it go. I know you're disappointed in me. I was your only daughter and I let you down by having sex before I was married. Well, you're going to have to deal with it, because I'm having to deal with it. And every time someone brings Him up, I just keep thinking that I might have made a mistake dumping him and coming back. Maybe, if it would make you feel better, I'll fly back and we'll elope and then run off to a foreign country, never to be seen or heard from again."
"What would make me feel better," my father told me, glaring at me from behind his desk, where he had started standing only a few minutes ago, "would be for you to just give up on the bastard and never date another boy again."
I hated the way my father and Tori called Li names. But after a while, I couldn't stand up for him anymore. I wasn't strong enough to side with him after all he'd done to me. I decided then and there, as I walked out of my father's study during the middle of an important lecture he was giving me, that I wouldn't be held down by Li any longer. I was going to get out and find myself someone else - someone who would actually care about me. Someone who wouldn't shove another girl up against the wall and start groping her.
Madison
I looked over the candle to see Eli's face, staring back at me. I wanted to blush madly, but at the same time, I was so proud and happy, that I didn't care anymore. Ever since I had kissed him, I knew I wouldn't be able to just hide away from him. He was going to follow after me, and after the night I was having with him, I didn't mind one bit.
Eli ran his hand across the tablecloth until it reached mine. He wrapped his fingers around mine and studied my hand with his eyes carefully. His index finger ran up and down the knuckles of each of my finger, before he leaned slightly across the table and gave my hand a satisfied kiss. I blushed softly, but smiled when he wrapped his fingers around mine and didn't let go. That was the way things were supposed to be between us. No consent arguing or bickering, just sitting at a table lit by candles and holding each other hands. So what if things didn't work out right away? I finally had what I wanted and I'd be damned if I let anything take him away.
The waiter walked over to our table, a formal tuxedo on. "May I ask what the two of you will be having for the evening?"
I smiled and ordered lobster. Then the waiter turned to Eli and he ordered something in French that I didn't understand. When the waiter had left us, I looked up across the table to face Eli. "I didn't know you spoke French."
Eli smiled at me, "I lived there for a few years before I lived in England. It's such a beautiful language, isn't it?" he asked me.
I nodded, "It is very romantic," I added. "By the way, what did you order?" I asked him. Eli smiled, but I could tell that he had started to blush. "I actually don't know. I didn't learn much French. I learned mostly how to pronounce the words, but that was about all I could manage." I laughed softly and smiled at Eli. It was great to be eating with him, on an official date. I loved the way his hand felt in mine and I loved where he had brought me for dinner. By the time we had sat down, the sun had already begun to set on the horizon. The sky was multi shaded of pink and purple and an occasional red. I absolutely loved it.
Li
I watched Sakura walk out of my house. It seemed as if everything had slowed to a frame by frame movement, like an extremely important part of a movie. And in a way, that moment could possibly be called just that. Sakura was telling me that she was leaving me and going back to Hong Kong and she didn't want to be with me anymore. That was very important indeed, and I couldn't do anything but stand in the doorway, the door wide open, praying that she would suddenly, as if by miracle, turn around and walk back up to me and say that she never meant it.
But after ten minutes of just standing there, I turned around and Han was standing there. She smiled at me sweetly enough. Almost as if she really cared about what happened to Sakura. And the truth was that she did. She wanted Sakura out of my life and as far away from me as Sakura could get. Well, I was sure she would be happy. Because that was where Sakura was. Kari put a little sexy pout on her lips and stepped up close to me, "Li, you really don't have to worry. I promise I won't hurt you like she hurt you. I'll be right here to comfort you the whole time. And maybe," she purred, "you can give me a little comfort back."
I quickly slammed Han against the wall, "Stay away from me, or else you're going to find yourself in a very uncomfortable position that you won't want to be in."
"Well, Li, I want to be in it if it's under you," she murmured, trying to bite my earlobe. I hissed softly under my breath and slammed her against the wall again before letting her fall like a puddle on the floor. "Stay away from me, got it?"
**********
I sat up quickly in my bed. Sweat was rolling down my face and my shirt was so wet that it stuck to my chest. I peeled it off of my skin and threw it off to the side of the room. I was breathing heavily and I wasn't quite sure why. It wasn't like a nightmare. I was just recalling what had happened earlier. I wasn't sure why, but something just didn't seem right about it. Something seemed off, almost as if someone was in my memory with me and knew what I had been thinking.
But that's not possible, I told myself. I slid back against the pillow. I was just overreacting. Nothing had changed since Sakura left and I was afraid that nothing would. I was beginning to finally realize just how much she really meant to me. It wasn't about sex or making out, it was about how she made me feel. I couldn't remember what it felt like to be with her, but I was feeling what it was like without her and I didn't like it. Not one bit. I sighed and slipped out of the bed. Now that my mind had been fixed on Sakura, it wasn't going to be possible for me to fall back asleep. That was one of the few things that annoyed me about Sakura. Once she got into your head, she never left.
As I made my way through the house, which was very dark except for the short rays of moonlight that entered through the windows and left long shadows on furniture on the walls. Once I had made it through the house, I ended up in the kitchen. All the servers and maids were off duty until five in the morning. The best time to eat, because I would be able to eat in peace and fix my own food. I loved my house and all the people who worked for our family, but sometimes I just wanted to be able to fix my own meal in peace, without people rushing up to me and offering me food or drinks. I wanted to be able to make a large, ham sandwich with all the fatty condiments that my mother never let the cooks put on our meals.
That was one of the reasons I loved it in Reedington. The freedom to be myself and be on my own. The privacy in my own apartment was the best of it all. I was in charge of cleaning all of my own clothes and if I didn't want to make the bed in the morning, then it would still be unmade in the afternoon when I got home from school. Although, I had to admit, it did get lonely without anyone being there. But Sakura always made up for that.
God, Sakura. I just couldn't stop thinking about her no matter how hard I tried. I had wanted to really, truly cry when she had left. I couldn't even remember the last time I had wanted to cry. But I still couldn't. And I was so stupid. I could have ran after her and prevented her for leaving, but I just watched her walk out of my life, life a complete idiot.
I opened the refrigerator door and pulled out the ham, the turkey, the cheese, mayonnaise, mustard, pickle relish, lettuce, and tomatoes. I picked out two slices of bread of the bread box and then reached to get a plate out of the cupboard. I made my sandwich, listening to the silence of the house and loving it.
As I sat down at the kitchen counter, I thought I heard a slight brushing noise, a sound of movement, coming from the direction of the living room, but I just shook my head and told myself to chill out and stop being paranoid. I continued eating, but I heard the same noise again only a few minutes later. I quickly finished off my sandwich. Getting up from the counter without making a sound, I quietly put my plate into the sink and tip toed to the doorway. I hid to the right of it, and slowly peered out around the frame. I moved my head only a microsecond before a baseball bat was sung into the room.
Reacting as quickly as I could, I grabbed the baseball bat and grabbed at the person who had swung it at me. The person tried to scream, but I quickly covered the person's mouth with my hand. I yanked the person closer to me as they dropped the bat to the kitchen floor, making a loud clattering against the tile. I ran my hand up and down the wall until I found the light switch and turned it on.
A female in a white, short nightdress was being held in my arms. I looked down at the black, wavy hair and soft, light blue eyes. I quickly pushed her away and released her mouth. "What the hell were you thinking, Han?" I snapped, leaning against the counter. Her face was a pale white color, "I was thinking that a robber had made his way into the house and that I needed to stop him! What the hell are you doing, Li? It's three in the morning and you're hiding away in the kitchen! You deserved to be whacked over the head with a baseball bat if it'll knock some sense into you!"
'She sounds just like Sakura when she's angry', was the first thought that entered my head. I took a deep breath. I had to face the facts. I couldn't escape from Sakura, even if she fell off the edge of the world. I loved her, and everything reminded me of her. "Just go back to sleep, Han. And try not to hurt anyone in the morning." Han glared at me in shock and embarrassment as I left the kitchen and walked to bedroom, thinking only of how I wanted to get away from my house and just talk to Sakura.
Sakura
"I'm so sorry, but what did you say was your name again?" I asked, sipping my vanilla milkshake through the straw.
"It's Robert," the boy sitting across the booth from me replied. "Are you ok, Sakura, or should I take you home? I'd hate for you to get sick on our first date."
I almost choked when he said the word date. But, after all I reasoned, it was a date. He had asked me out for milkshakes and I had said yes. The whole thing was stupid really, but that didn't stop me from feeling sick in the stomach. As I looked at Robert, I couldn't help but picturing Li sitting across from me. But then again, Li had never sat across from me. He had always sat next to me. And that was great, but I was going out with Robert to forget about Li and push the last few months to the back of my mind. Unfortunately, it wasn't working out too well.
"Do you want to go dancing?" he asked me out of the blue. I almost gagged. Dancing, with Robert? I had met him at a local coffee shop and we had talked for almost an hour when he had asked me out. It hadn't seemed like such a bad idea at the time, but now that I was actually there, I might have changed my mind. Not that there was anything wrong with Robert. No, it was more like there wasn't anything right about Robert. But I couldn't have such high standards. After all, it was winter break, and all the smart people were off somewhere doing something. I was stuck in Reedington, trying to get away from people. At that time of year, it wasn't too hard.
"I don't think that dancing's such a good idea. I'm afraid I was one of those very unfortunate people who were born with two left feet. And none of them like to dance, either," I answered, finishing off my milkshake. By then, I was about ready to run out the place and never look back, forgetting all about that horrible night with Robert. Things weren't exactly going the way I had hoped they would. That's to say the least.
"Well, at least you were born with feet, unlike some people on this planet. So why don't you bring those two left feet along with me and I'll teach them how to dance?" Robert asked, who had finished off his milkshake quite a while ago.
He can't seriously be talking about my feet like they're people, I thought. I was beginning to be disguised by Robert. My problem was that I always saw the worst of people, and for Robert, that was quite a lot. I hated to be so mean to him, but he was driving me bonkers! "Robert, thanks so much for the milkshake, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to leave now. I've got family obligations to get to and my father will kill me if I'm not home in time. But this was fun," I lied through my teeth. I had never been such a great liar and it was even harder for me to lie when I was nervous.
I made to get up and leave the little shop, but Robert reached across the table and took a hold of my hand. "This was really great, Sakura. I haven't met someone like you in such a long time," he told me. I almost laugh. You mean, someone so eager to get away from you? I thought to myself. "I want to go out with you again, if you have anytime away from your family obligations, whatever they are. Would you mind giving me your phone number so that I can call you and ask you out on another date?"
Oh crap, I thought. He wanted my number. What could I say? I sure as hell wasn't going to give it to him. Not after the way our first date had gone. "Our phone isn't working right now," I fibbed, hoping he would buy it, "My father's a little behind on paying the bills."
"OK, well, how about your address so that I can come visit you and maybe met your parents?" Robert tried again, but he had loosened the grip on my hand. Big mistake for him.
I shot out of the booth, "That isn't a good idea. Maybe I'll see you around sometime," I said and ran out the front doors, pushing them open and escaping into the cold, winter night. As I hurried down the sidewalk, I watched my breath, little white clouds in the dark night. It was somewhat comforting, and peaceful. I didn't know how I was ever going to be able to find myself a boyfriend if I couldn't even make it through the first date. Dating was harder than I had ever thought. With Li, I had never had to decide I liked him, it had just happened. I scolded myself as I turned down the street that my house was located on. I had to stop thinking about Li. No matter what. Because Li and I were over.
**********
"Where have you been?" my father snapped when I walked in the front door, taking off my scarf and coat and hanging them on the coat rack. "I've been out," I answered simply, kicking off my boats and taking the stairs two at a time. I walked down the hallway to Tori's room. I knocked once, as if I was going to be polite, and then I opened it wide open.
"AHHH!" I yelled and covered my eyes. "Oh fuck!" I said as I peeked through my fingers and then shut them back over my eyes again. "Gross, gross, gross!" I yelled.
Tori sat up in his bed and glared at me, in shock, "Sakura, what the hell do you think you're doing? Haven't you ever heard of knocking and then waiting for a response?" he snapped.
"Well, if I had know that you were screwing around, believe you me, I would never have even knocked. I wouldn't even have bothered wanting to talk to you. You've scarred me for life! I'll never be able to look you in the face again without seeing this image in my head-" I froze and then gasped, taking my hands off of my face. "That a female," I stated, dumbfounded.
Tori sighed and nodded and pulled his boxers and a white undershirt on. He got out of the bed and pulled me out of his room. The whole time, I had my face back to his bed, looking at who was still in it. Once we were back out in the hall, Tori shut the door. "Dad's home, you know," I hissed to him. "If he finds out that you're sleeping with our soon to be mother, he's going to kill you."
"Well, you have to admit that it makes more sense for me to sleep with her. After all, she is younger than I am," Tori told me, as if it mattered.
"Tori," I snapped, "you're gay! You shouldn't be sleeping with Kari either. No one in this household should be sleeping with her. She shouldn't be here!" I stared at my brother's face. "It's just too much, you know? This whole fucking ordeal is too much. I can't handle this anymore. I've got to talk to someone. I'm going insane and before anyone knows it, they'll have me locked up in a padded, white room in a straight jacket! You and Dad and Kari are ALL messed up in the head. This is not a normal family! I not belong to this family!"
"Sakura, it's not like you've made things any better for anyone!" Tori yelled back.
"Oh, ok! I see what you're saying. You're saying that you're sleeping with Dad's fiancé because I slept with Li. Yes, Tori, that makes totally sense to me. You're even more messed up than I thought you were! That Kari person needs to get out of this household before she drives us all crazy! And you wanna know something, Tori? I'm about ready to kill myself, but not after I kill the three of you! If Mom was here, none of this would be happening. Dad wouldn't be getting married, you wouldn't be saying that you're gay, but sleeping with females, and the whole mess with Li wouldn't have happened because I would never have become a Cardcaptor in the first place!
"I'm tired of having to put up with this family. Since Mom's died, we've all been falling apart, but it's never been this bad before. And I'm to a point where I just can't take it anymore! So I'm going to go spend the night at Madison's!"
"Sakura," Tori reasoned, "you can't always run away from your problems. This isn't going to change and you going to Madison's is only going to slow things down from changing. Besides, you know as well as I do that Dad and I aren't going to change our ways. You've got to learn to handle this," he told me.
"I can't!" I yelled. "I can't, I can't, I CAN NOT!" I screamed as loud as I could. I stormed down the hall, back to my room. I opened the door and slammed it shut behind me. I heard parts of wood split and I laughed evilly. I yanked out my duffel bag and stuffed random clothes into it. I zipped it shut and raced down to stairs. I had to get out of my house. The walls were closing in around me. I was going to suffocate if I didn't escape from there. I managed to get out of the front door. The snow was falling hard and the yard was covered in a thin blanket of white. I started walking across it, but halfway across, my head started to swirl and a pain in the back of my head made me pause for a moment. And without the movement of my body, I froze up. It became hard for me to breath. I tried to yell out to my dad, to Tori, to anyone who would be able to hear me. But all that escaped my lips was a soft gasped as my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I collapsed to the ground.