The Wheat Bread Theater! December 31st, 2003.
////////////////
Welcome to the Wheat Bread Theater! Our very first theater show. Tonight we'll be featuring Gollum, who's made his role as the "crazy, precious-wanting creep" on Lord of the Rings, Dobby, the "overly-eccentric house-elf" in Harry Potter, and a very special guest, Jack Sparrow, "the disgusting, rum drinking, bad boy of the Caribbean" from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Me: Hallo, Gollum, Dobby, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: That's Captain Jack to you.
Me: Yes.
Dobby: Hi.
Me: Hi.
Gollum: The precioussssss!! Nassssstyyy hobbittsessss!!!
Me: Gollum, its over, the Precious is gone, just calm down.
G: No!
Me: RIiiight... first we'll be talking to Gollum, who is in one of the best movies of our time.
Audience: *Claps and cheers*
Me: Gollum, I really wanted to know, how did you argue with yourself? Was your good side, like, freaking out the whole time? And why can't you get over your crazy obsessions? It's not even really funny anymore.
G: My good side, the Ssssmeagoll, wassss sssort of, weeeiiirddd in a senssse too. It'ssss ssssomewhatttt funnny though [arrrrrguuuing withhh myyyselllff] and I laugh upon it now (Gollum's words will now be shortened to one letter instead of "prrreccciousss" it will be "precious". Just to make it easier for you.). I mean, they pay me money to act mean and nasty. Haha, but yea, I guess my good side was kind of freaking out. Don't worry, I'm over that obsession. Though radishes are very good!
Me: So mostly you're back to normal now?
G: Yea. Mostly. I still get these urges to say "The Precious" though.
Me: And now, Dobby the House-Elf at Hogwarts.
Audience: *Clap clap*
Me: Dobby, what's life like being a house-elf?
D: Good! Good good, Dobby likes being a house-elf. Hermione doesn't like Dobby being house-elf, though. Dobby enjoys being house-elf, though.
G: Elf? Where?!
Audience: *Laugh*
G: STOP LAUGHING AT ME, NASTY MEN!!
Me: Just calm down, Gollum. So Dobby, what do you do in your spare time?
D: Sleep and eat.
Me: Oh, fun fun.
D: Yes! Dobby likes to sleep and eat!
Audience: *Laugh*
Me: Alright... now on to Jack Sparrow.
Audience: *Clap Clap*
J.S.: CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow.
Me: ... O_o yea. Anyway, what's with the rum thing? Since when were you a pirate? How long have you been drinking? Why is Will so clumsy? And how come you took a cursed gold medallion?
J.S.: Could you ask me anymore questions?
Me: Yea, sure: How old exactly are-
J.S.: Sorry, I thought you were smart enough to know I was joking. Anyway, I've been drinking since I was - oh, I don't know, 18? 19? 20? I've been a pirate since I was 13 about. Will is clumsy because he's gawky and stupid. Sorry, Will-Swooners.
Will-Swooners: *Hunt down Jack Sparrow with torches*
Audience: *Laugh*
J.S.: And your last question before the Swooners come. Well I took a medallion because I knew if I didn't, I was probably going to be killed by Barbosa or one of his cronies. So I just took one.
Audience: *yay*
Me: Well, folks, that's about all the time we have! Gollum, Dobby, Jack, have a very happy New Year's.
Will-Swooners: *Light the whole place on fire and start riots everywhere in the city*
Audience: *Screams*
Folks, next week we'll be having Frodo from Lord of the Rings, Spongebob from Spongebob Squarepants, and another someone. If you would like to request someone for the Wheat Bread Theater or would like to ask our special guests a question, please email me at beans_12290@hotmail.com (I also have MSN Messenger with that email).
Audience: *more screams*
Have fun and drive safely!!
Your hostess, Rye
////////////////
Welcome to the Wheat Bread Theater! Our very first theater show. Tonight we'll be featuring Gollum, who's made his role as the "crazy, precious-wanting creep" on Lord of the Rings, Dobby, the "overly-eccentric house-elf" in Harry Potter, and a very special guest, Jack Sparrow, "the disgusting, rum drinking, bad boy of the Caribbean" from Pirates of the Caribbean.
Me: Hallo, Gollum, Dobby, Jack.
Jack Sparrow: That's Captain Jack to you.
Me: Yes.
Dobby: Hi.
Me: Hi.
Gollum: The precioussssss!! Nassssstyyy hobbittsessss!!!
Me: Gollum, its over, the Precious is gone, just calm down.
G: No!
Me: RIiiight... first we'll be talking to Gollum, who is in one of the best movies of our time.
Audience: *Claps and cheers*
Me: Gollum, I really wanted to know, how did you argue with yourself? Was your good side, like, freaking out the whole time? And why can't you get over your crazy obsessions? It's not even really funny anymore.
G: My good side, the Ssssmeagoll, wassss sssort of, weeeiiirddd in a senssse too. It'ssss ssssomewhatttt funnny though [arrrrrguuuing withhh myyyselllff] and I laugh upon it now (Gollum's words will now be shortened to one letter instead of "prrreccciousss" it will be "precious". Just to make it easier for you.). I mean, they pay me money to act mean and nasty. Haha, but yea, I guess my good side was kind of freaking out. Don't worry, I'm over that obsession. Though radishes are very good!
Me: So mostly you're back to normal now?
G: Yea. Mostly. I still get these urges to say "The Precious" though.
Me: And now, Dobby the House-Elf at Hogwarts.
Audience: *Clap clap*
Me: Dobby, what's life like being a house-elf?
D: Good! Good good, Dobby likes being a house-elf. Hermione doesn't like Dobby being house-elf, though. Dobby enjoys being house-elf, though.
G: Elf? Where?!
Audience: *Laugh*
G: STOP LAUGHING AT ME, NASTY MEN!!
Me: Just calm down, Gollum. So Dobby, what do you do in your spare time?
D: Sleep and eat.
Me: Oh, fun fun.
D: Yes! Dobby likes to sleep and eat!
Audience: *Laugh*
Me: Alright... now on to Jack Sparrow.
Audience: *Clap Clap*
J.S.: CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow.
Me: ... O_o yea. Anyway, what's with the rum thing? Since when were you a pirate? How long have you been drinking? Why is Will so clumsy? And how come you took a cursed gold medallion?
J.S.: Could you ask me anymore questions?
Me: Yea, sure: How old exactly are-
J.S.: Sorry, I thought you were smart enough to know I was joking. Anyway, I've been drinking since I was - oh, I don't know, 18? 19? 20? I've been a pirate since I was 13 about. Will is clumsy because he's gawky and stupid. Sorry, Will-Swooners.
Will-Swooners: *Hunt down Jack Sparrow with torches*
Audience: *Laugh*
J.S.: And your last question before the Swooners come. Well I took a medallion because I knew if I didn't, I was probably going to be killed by Barbosa or one of his cronies. So I just took one.
Audience: *yay*
Me: Well, folks, that's about all the time we have! Gollum, Dobby, Jack, have a very happy New Year's.
Will-Swooners: *Light the whole place on fire and start riots everywhere in the city*
Audience: *Screams*
Folks, next week we'll be having Frodo from Lord of the Rings, Spongebob from Spongebob Squarepants, and another someone. If you would like to request someone for the Wheat Bread Theater or would like to ask our special guests a question, please email me at beans_12290@hotmail.com (I also have MSN Messenger with that email).
Audience: *more screams*
Have fun and drive safely!!
Your hostess, Rye