Disclaimer: All Artemis Fowl related characters are not mine. They belong
to Eoin Colfer and his merry little band of dwarves.
Detective James Barker was not having a good day. He was woken up at three this morning to solve a simple, open and shut, homicide. For Christ's sake! The perp was standing there, at the crime scene, murder weapon in hand and his prints all over the body! To make matters worse the coffee machine was broken and he had to resort instant. Topping it all off was this wackjob here that was brought in after a civil disturbance report, apparently the old lady across the road from this guys' house heard some gun fire and called the cops, so here he was.
Pinching the bridge of his nose Barker tried hard to make sense of this man's nonsense.
"So your telling me that a 14-16 year old boy, in a suit, broke into your house, and demanded that you return the money you stole from the Save The Earth foundation?" he asked
"n-... no, it was Butler that broke in, the kid just walked in afterwards! And he ain't any ordinary kid! He's Artemis Fowl for cryin' out loud! And I didn't steal any money!" replied the other man, in a small, pensive, voice.
"So all of those cheques to Save The Earth foundation on your coffee table just appeared out of nowhere? And what about the gunshots?"
"I got real scared, Fowl's Butler fella does that to you, and I pulled my gun an-"
"You're miserable you know that?! You pulled a gun...on a kid!...!"
"Look man...he's no wet behind the ears kid you know!"
"That's no excuse! What about that 'shield' you talked about earlier?"
"Listen! I meant exactly what I said earlier! He saw the gun...laughed...an' this bluish ball o' light appeared around him and his giant bodyguard...naturally I got a little spooked and my finger slipped on the trigger.."
"I'm getting REAL tired of your damn theatrics! What else happened?"
"The bloody bullet bounced straight off and nearly popped me one in tha head!"
"Damn well should of! What happened AFTER you tried to murder a 14 year old kid?"
"They both disappeared!"
"Ohh....so they just disappeared..into thin air.you know that by making up stories won't help you plead insane" "I'm not trying to plead insane-"
"Take him away officers, he just confessed to fraud and denies being insane"
The other man spluttered and struggled against the two burly police officers that "escorted" him to a nice 2 by 4 cell. "You don't know what your dealing with" he screamed until they rounded a corner and were out of sight.
Detective Barker just shook his head and walked to find Shane Holman, his assistant. When he reached his cubicle he saw that something was up, clearly seen by the amount of people clustered around his assistants' desk.
"What's going on here" he growled, glaring at several people until they gave up and slinked back towards their respective work stations.
"uh...not much sir, just looking up the name that the crazy guy kept telling us-"
"Artemis Fowl?"
"That's the one...he was right, he is only a kid, 16 in a week or so, but he has a quite impressive criminal record. No arrests but he has been a major suspect in every major crime involving multi-million dollar amounts in the last 6 years-"
"You expect me to believe that some snot nosed kid his been fleecing people out of millions of dollars since the age of 10!"
"Not me sir, Interpol, and he isn't any 'snot nosed' kid. He recently took an IQ test and scored 218"
"And..?"
"Sir...Einstein's IQ was 223"
"oh..."
"He has also released several hundred patents for numerous computer components that outstripped IBM Intel in power and expense...Intel then offered him 26 million for them and then managed to recoup their losses in those items by sales alone!"
"Impressive..So why has did he bust some guy stealing money from a charity? Doesn't seem his style"
"I can't tell you sir...I just don't know...but it seems like he's trying to help the world by stopping or crippling it's major enemies. He has been recently been suspected to have stolen a East Asian whaling company funds directly from their bank's database. He as also stared a energy company using new improved solar panels of his own design, and making a killing too"
"looks like we have an environmental vigilante on our hands...what about that 'Butler' guy?"
"him?. he's a nasty piece of work.6" 12' tall.110kg.. he's the boys' bodyguard, servant, cook...you name it he does it...he graduated top of his class from Madame Ko's protection course"
"aww crap.. another one of those?" (a fellow class leaver of Madame Ko's academy recently took out a S.W.A.T. tactical response team after they tried take his principal, a Colombian drug lord, into custody. He was unarmed.)
"'Fraid so"
Detective Barker squinted at the screen, his brow creased with thought...
"There's something strange going on here, and I'm going to find out what" he muttered while his assistant mentally groaned.
"there isn't much wrong with Detective Barker" he thought "but he likes his detective clichés a little bit too much"
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
THREE HOURS AGO
Artemis Fowl stood outside the door on 128 Amaro drive, his burgundy Versache suit out of place in this shabby neighborhood. He looked to be coming out of the other side of puberty, no longer a boy but now a young man. His body was now more tone and fit than it used to since his frustration at feeling helpless during some of his previous criminal escapades made him take on a strict exercise routine, and as a extra benefit to the time he spent outside his skin had lost its pallid color and now was a becoming shade of light brown. His companion, Butler, a man who could be accurately be described using the phrase "as big as a house" stood out like a piece of raw meat at a vegetarian restaurant. Even though the man looked to be in peak condition something about his stance and position made an observer think of an elderly man.
"This is the place Butler," said Artemis, his carefully enunciated words echoing flatly in the small alcove. "Do your thing" and stepped back to let his bodyguards large frame to stand in front of the door. With a strategic set of thumps, scrapes and whacks the lumbering manservant allowed the now freed door to fall backwards into the home before taking a protective position in front of his principal. When the dust cleared the single occupant of the house stood staring at what once was his front door. "What the HELL do you think your doing?" he shouted before his eyes could tell his brain that the shadow in the door was actually a person and that person could probably break him in half easier than he could open a can of beans. "I believe the question is Mr. Murphy, is what the, hell, do you think your doing?" spoke a soft voice from somewhere in the vicinity of the man currently blocking the sun on his porch. "What are you talking about?! Get out of my house before I decide to shoot you!" to prove his point he drew a pistol from his waistband pointed squarely and the young man standing in Butler's shadow, causing the body guard to step further in front of Artemis, who brushed him away with a calm hand on his arm. "Don't worry Butler, I know that men of his ... level ... rarely have the mettle to pull the trigger"
"Bu- Butler?... I know you! You're that Artemis Fowl kid aren't you?! Well let me tell you this! No KID is going to get me!" and with those parting words pulled the trigger. With a flash of blue light the bullet ricocheted off an invisible barrier, narrowly missing Mr. Murphy's head, to finally shatter a vase in the kitchen.
"Ugh...little men with their gun's, and yes, this...kid...is going to get you. I know what you've been doing...and I disapprove...you know I can easily destroy you...make sure that you can never work, anywhere, EVER again. So take my advice...repent...and hope that your sins may be forgiven" Artemis intoned, his hands clasped in parody of a minister, before chuckling to himself ~*~ "Again with the jokes" he thought, "what is happening to me? Must be hormones, or magic...damn...another joke...this really must stop" ~*~ A further three bullets into the shield, rebounded around the room, to end up imbedded in various objects, unfortunately none of those objects was the now distraught Mr. Murphy. Murphy was now staring wide eyed at the calm youth who was inspecting his nails.
"Quite done Mr. Murphy?" Artemis inquired, a benign expression on his face.
"wha-? wha?- wha?" was all he could manage.
"What am I? I am merely a 15 yr old boy with interests in this humble little planet we call home, and I am requesting that you forgo your greed and give yourself to the authorities"
The shocked man had only one weapon left in his arsenal, the spent pistol. It spiraled through the air towards the barrier, impacting with a blue flash and spinning off on a perfect tangent towards the face of an unlucky Mr. Murphy. It was poetry in motion. The sound of both the gun and the unconscious Murphy echoed in the empty house.
"It's nice to know that my shield worked isn't it Butler?" Artemis remarked as they traveled back to the Manor "The idea for it came to me in a dream you know, strangely enough you were in it, but it could only stop lasers and sonic's, highly rare in today's munitions market, so I added a filter so the light went into the blue spectrum, creating a slower but stronger shiel- what's wrong Butler? You usually at least pretend to listen to what I say ~*~ why does that sound so familiar? ~*~ "
"I thought the Artic Mission was the last time, Artemis" Butler replied, his steely eyes still on the road.
"What are talking about? It was! All of it now is for a 'good' cause. For some reason. And plus, I couldn't just go to SCHOOL? heh... Butler?" Artemis replied with a chuckle.
"You know what I'm talking about Artemis, in your top left pocket. You thought you could slip some of those cheques by me, I thought you knew me better. Your not doing it for anyone else but you"
"It's true Butler, but old habits die hard...old habits die hard" Artemis muttered, staring at the scenery rushing past the window.
Author's Notes: Well here's one for 1st's!! that is my first ever FanFic...ever. I need all of your Review's so I can see if it's worth continuing. Oh and if you see any letters missing was because I was up till 2 last night with a blood alcohol level that would make a grown man cry...and now it's 11:30 pm...and oh yeah! I was up at 6 am... I'm not a happy chap... if you see lots of full stop where the should be gaps is cause there supposed to be a set of three dots, but it ain't happening :( So if you wanna know the plot here goes...i dunno! So far this is after Eternity Code, so he's missing a fair chunk of his memory...more astute readers will pick up similarities which are residual memories...anyway if you see any GAPING HOLES is because I have no PRE-READER!!! I NEED A PRE-READER!!!!! READ AND REVIEW PEOPLE!! I NEED LOTS AND LOTS OF REVIEW SO I CAN REMND MYSELF THAT PEOPLE ACTUALYY WANNA READ WHAT I WRITE!!! Yeay! Please send any suggestions about a direction and how to introduce the People.oh yeah this is a A/H fic...there is nothing wrong with it! I personally know a 16yr old guy who is good "friends" with a 20ish woman. And also there is more plot to base it on. Thank you and good night.
Detective James Barker was not having a good day. He was woken up at three this morning to solve a simple, open and shut, homicide. For Christ's sake! The perp was standing there, at the crime scene, murder weapon in hand and his prints all over the body! To make matters worse the coffee machine was broken and he had to resort instant. Topping it all off was this wackjob here that was brought in after a civil disturbance report, apparently the old lady across the road from this guys' house heard some gun fire and called the cops, so here he was.
Pinching the bridge of his nose Barker tried hard to make sense of this man's nonsense.
"So your telling me that a 14-16 year old boy, in a suit, broke into your house, and demanded that you return the money you stole from the Save The Earth foundation?" he asked
"n-... no, it was Butler that broke in, the kid just walked in afterwards! And he ain't any ordinary kid! He's Artemis Fowl for cryin' out loud! And I didn't steal any money!" replied the other man, in a small, pensive, voice.
"So all of those cheques to Save The Earth foundation on your coffee table just appeared out of nowhere? And what about the gunshots?"
"I got real scared, Fowl's Butler fella does that to you, and I pulled my gun an-"
"You're miserable you know that?! You pulled a gun...on a kid!...!"
"Look man...he's no wet behind the ears kid you know!"
"That's no excuse! What about that 'shield' you talked about earlier?"
"Listen! I meant exactly what I said earlier! He saw the gun...laughed...an' this bluish ball o' light appeared around him and his giant bodyguard...naturally I got a little spooked and my finger slipped on the trigger.."
"I'm getting REAL tired of your damn theatrics! What else happened?"
"The bloody bullet bounced straight off and nearly popped me one in tha head!"
"Damn well should of! What happened AFTER you tried to murder a 14 year old kid?"
"They both disappeared!"
"Ohh....so they just disappeared..into thin air.you know that by making up stories won't help you plead insane" "I'm not trying to plead insane-"
"Take him away officers, he just confessed to fraud and denies being insane"
The other man spluttered and struggled against the two burly police officers that "escorted" him to a nice 2 by 4 cell. "You don't know what your dealing with" he screamed until they rounded a corner and were out of sight.
Detective Barker just shook his head and walked to find Shane Holman, his assistant. When he reached his cubicle he saw that something was up, clearly seen by the amount of people clustered around his assistants' desk.
"What's going on here" he growled, glaring at several people until they gave up and slinked back towards their respective work stations.
"uh...not much sir, just looking up the name that the crazy guy kept telling us-"
"Artemis Fowl?"
"That's the one...he was right, he is only a kid, 16 in a week or so, but he has a quite impressive criminal record. No arrests but he has been a major suspect in every major crime involving multi-million dollar amounts in the last 6 years-"
"You expect me to believe that some snot nosed kid his been fleecing people out of millions of dollars since the age of 10!"
"Not me sir, Interpol, and he isn't any 'snot nosed' kid. He recently took an IQ test and scored 218"
"And..?"
"Sir...Einstein's IQ was 223"
"oh..."
"He has also released several hundred patents for numerous computer components that outstripped IBM Intel in power and expense...Intel then offered him 26 million for them and then managed to recoup their losses in those items by sales alone!"
"Impressive..So why has did he bust some guy stealing money from a charity? Doesn't seem his style"
"I can't tell you sir...I just don't know...but it seems like he's trying to help the world by stopping or crippling it's major enemies. He has been recently been suspected to have stolen a East Asian whaling company funds directly from their bank's database. He as also stared a energy company using new improved solar panels of his own design, and making a killing too"
"looks like we have an environmental vigilante on our hands...what about that 'Butler' guy?"
"him?. he's a nasty piece of work.6" 12' tall.110kg.. he's the boys' bodyguard, servant, cook...you name it he does it...he graduated top of his class from Madame Ko's protection course"
"aww crap.. another one of those?" (a fellow class leaver of Madame Ko's academy recently took out a S.W.A.T. tactical response team after they tried take his principal, a Colombian drug lord, into custody. He was unarmed.)
"'Fraid so"
Detective Barker squinted at the screen, his brow creased with thought...
"There's something strange going on here, and I'm going to find out what" he muttered while his assistant mentally groaned.
"there isn't much wrong with Detective Barker" he thought "but he likes his detective clichés a little bit too much"
~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~+~
THREE HOURS AGO
Artemis Fowl stood outside the door on 128 Amaro drive, his burgundy Versache suit out of place in this shabby neighborhood. He looked to be coming out of the other side of puberty, no longer a boy but now a young man. His body was now more tone and fit than it used to since his frustration at feeling helpless during some of his previous criminal escapades made him take on a strict exercise routine, and as a extra benefit to the time he spent outside his skin had lost its pallid color and now was a becoming shade of light brown. His companion, Butler, a man who could be accurately be described using the phrase "as big as a house" stood out like a piece of raw meat at a vegetarian restaurant. Even though the man looked to be in peak condition something about his stance and position made an observer think of an elderly man.
"This is the place Butler," said Artemis, his carefully enunciated words echoing flatly in the small alcove. "Do your thing" and stepped back to let his bodyguards large frame to stand in front of the door. With a strategic set of thumps, scrapes and whacks the lumbering manservant allowed the now freed door to fall backwards into the home before taking a protective position in front of his principal. When the dust cleared the single occupant of the house stood staring at what once was his front door. "What the HELL do you think your doing?" he shouted before his eyes could tell his brain that the shadow in the door was actually a person and that person could probably break him in half easier than he could open a can of beans. "I believe the question is Mr. Murphy, is what the, hell, do you think your doing?" spoke a soft voice from somewhere in the vicinity of the man currently blocking the sun on his porch. "What are you talking about?! Get out of my house before I decide to shoot you!" to prove his point he drew a pistol from his waistband pointed squarely and the young man standing in Butler's shadow, causing the body guard to step further in front of Artemis, who brushed him away with a calm hand on his arm. "Don't worry Butler, I know that men of his ... level ... rarely have the mettle to pull the trigger"
"Bu- Butler?... I know you! You're that Artemis Fowl kid aren't you?! Well let me tell you this! No KID is going to get me!" and with those parting words pulled the trigger. With a flash of blue light the bullet ricocheted off an invisible barrier, narrowly missing Mr. Murphy's head, to finally shatter a vase in the kitchen.
"Ugh...little men with their gun's, and yes, this...kid...is going to get you. I know what you've been doing...and I disapprove...you know I can easily destroy you...make sure that you can never work, anywhere, EVER again. So take my advice...repent...and hope that your sins may be forgiven" Artemis intoned, his hands clasped in parody of a minister, before chuckling to himself ~*~ "Again with the jokes" he thought, "what is happening to me? Must be hormones, or magic...damn...another joke...this really must stop" ~*~ A further three bullets into the shield, rebounded around the room, to end up imbedded in various objects, unfortunately none of those objects was the now distraught Mr. Murphy. Murphy was now staring wide eyed at the calm youth who was inspecting his nails.
"Quite done Mr. Murphy?" Artemis inquired, a benign expression on his face.
"wha-? wha?- wha?" was all he could manage.
"What am I? I am merely a 15 yr old boy with interests in this humble little planet we call home, and I am requesting that you forgo your greed and give yourself to the authorities"
The shocked man had only one weapon left in his arsenal, the spent pistol. It spiraled through the air towards the barrier, impacting with a blue flash and spinning off on a perfect tangent towards the face of an unlucky Mr. Murphy. It was poetry in motion. The sound of both the gun and the unconscious Murphy echoed in the empty house.
"It's nice to know that my shield worked isn't it Butler?" Artemis remarked as they traveled back to the Manor "The idea for it came to me in a dream you know, strangely enough you were in it, but it could only stop lasers and sonic's, highly rare in today's munitions market, so I added a filter so the light went into the blue spectrum, creating a slower but stronger shiel- what's wrong Butler? You usually at least pretend to listen to what I say ~*~ why does that sound so familiar? ~*~ "
"I thought the Artic Mission was the last time, Artemis" Butler replied, his steely eyes still on the road.
"What are talking about? It was! All of it now is for a 'good' cause. For some reason. And plus, I couldn't just go to SCHOOL? heh... Butler?" Artemis replied with a chuckle.
"You know what I'm talking about Artemis, in your top left pocket. You thought you could slip some of those cheques by me, I thought you knew me better. Your not doing it for anyone else but you"
"It's true Butler, but old habits die hard...old habits die hard" Artemis muttered, staring at the scenery rushing past the window.
Author's Notes: Well here's one for 1st's!! that is my first ever FanFic...ever. I need all of your Review's so I can see if it's worth continuing. Oh and if you see any letters missing was because I was up till 2 last night with a blood alcohol level that would make a grown man cry...and now it's 11:30 pm...and oh yeah! I was up at 6 am... I'm not a happy chap... if you see lots of full stop where the should be gaps is cause there supposed to be a set of three dots, but it ain't happening :( So if you wanna know the plot here goes...i dunno! So far this is after Eternity Code, so he's missing a fair chunk of his memory...more astute readers will pick up similarities which are residual memories...anyway if you see any GAPING HOLES is because I have no PRE-READER!!! I NEED A PRE-READER!!!!! READ AND REVIEW PEOPLE!! I NEED LOTS AND LOTS OF REVIEW SO I CAN REMND MYSELF THAT PEOPLE ACTUALYY WANNA READ WHAT I WRITE!!! Yeay! Please send any suggestions about a direction and how to introduce the People.oh yeah this is a A/H fic...there is nothing wrong with it! I personally know a 16yr old guy who is good "friends" with a 20ish woman. And also there is more plot to base it on. Thank you and good night.