::waving:: Hello everyone!! I am back from camp, and am staying firmly planted in my town until marching band camp, later in the summer…. So my updates should be much more regular!! :: ducks flying shoes and ignores resigned sighs from imaginary audience:: So... without further ado, onward and upward!!
Thank you to my wonderful reviewers! It's nice to have a small group of people faithfully following my story!!
Lady of Legolas: SO many questions!! I don't want to give away too much, but all will be revealed in time! I know the lady would hate to do something of that nature, but desperate times call for desperate measures…I'm really glad you think this is getting good!
Liquid Dreamer: Thanks a lot! I actually did surprisingly well in auditions... but of course that meant a lot of extra work, but it was fun and my band director was HOT no! :: bashes self on head.. Must be faithful to boyfriend…::: anyway... I'm really glad you liked that chapter, and that movie...:is also a drooling mass:: Orli is so incredibly amazing looking! But I fear I must stick to Haldir on this one…. But perhaps I can sneak a bit of Legolas in later J
Mirkwoodmaiden- I did much practicing at camp, but now I'm home and can devote plenty of time to Haldir and my writing. I've been trying to hold the tension, but at the same time explain a bit of stuff so that the readers aren't confused. Once again, thank you for your continuous positive support!
The Lady of Imladris- I wish Haldir was mine too…. And I bet Haldir wishes that Luinelothiel were his (if this story did exist) I feel bad for him too, but I can't help it ::sadistic grin:: I love to torture my characters! Anyway, as soon as I get a free couple of hours, I'd be delighted to look at your writing! I love Haldir fics!
Now… Haldir gets a bit demented in this bit, and I snuck in some Legolas memories…
Disclaimer: I still don't own anything from Lord of the Rings, especially no hot elves:: sighs:: and I am writing this only for my sadistic pleasure in torturing them and then making them feel better. If someone does own something from Lord of the Rings, I'll buy it!! I have about 2 nickels, a flute, and a broken piccolo!
Halo of Tears
Chapter 4
Haldir smiled grimly and began to drag himself back to the spot where he knew that the fellowship would have made camp. A slight rain had started, enough to make everyone cold and uncomfortable, but not to satisfy the thirst of the trees.
Having exhausted all his energy running away from his party, the normally strong elf was completely drained, and it was all he could do to pull himself back. If he didn't come back, he knew that they would look for him, and it would all eventually lead to awkward questions- always questions, questions that should never be asked.
Surprisingly, Haldir welcomes the weakness. Weakness meant fewer memories. But the pain was always there.
The elf stumbled a bit and grabbed onto a near tree to stop himself from falling. His hands groped at the rough bark, and a piece of it cut right through his skin, leaving an uneven crimson line across his wrist, marring the perfect skin. Haldir hissed in pain, but then stopped, feeling sickeningly good as the small amount of blood dripped away, before the cut completely healed. Pain… always pain, the elf thought. But it felt good, felt good to have something besides his feelings to focus on. He deserved pain. It was his fault that she died, his fault that she had to leave, his fault for even daring to fall in love with her in the first place! Stopping his walking, Haldir pulled a small dagger from his boot and pressed it gently across his wrist…..
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas sighed as everyone stopped yet again to make camp. If they had pressed on just a little bit, they would have made it to Lorien that very night. However, it was raining, and the hobbits were eager to make a fire and warm up beside it. The group had stopped in a small clearing that was well sheltered by the branches of huge trees that stood above them. Clouds made it very dark, though it was not yet dusk. The rain had made everything glisten and caused the fire to crackle.
The hobbits were anxious to reach the Haven of Lorien, as was the entire fellowship, but none had the reasons that Legolas did, for he had the feeling that the Lady knew of Haldir's woes and could help him to figure what they meant. His thoughts were interrupted as Pippin ran directly into one of the smaller trees in his haste to get to the fire. As he hit it, something round fell down and struck him on the head. Though Pippin muttered a curse about the tree always having rotted mushrooms, Merry looked up in delight.
"Peaches!" He exclaimed, running over the tree and attempting to reach the lowest branches. "Fresh peaches everyone!" Everyone chuckled and went to assist Merry in the picking of the fruit, but Legolas frowned and turned away, for he had a distinct memory that involved….
"Peaches, fresh peach salad, the pride of Mirkwood." Thranduil had said with pride as the desert was served to everyone at the table. Peaches seldom grew in the Mirkwood gardens, but when they were, they tasted heavenly. Young Legolas squirmed in glee, for he loved the sweet, slightly spicy dish. He looked to his parents for approval to start eating. His father nodded, so Legolas lifted his spoon, but turning to his mother he saw that she was suddenly stiff and her face wore a stricken expression. She didn't smile often, and when she did, it was usually sad. However, she didn't look like this…
Thranduil looked at his children as they began to partake in the dessert, and then looked at his wife. When he saw her expression, he looked at first concerned, but then somewhat annoyed.
"What is wrong, Luinelothiel?" The king of Mirkwood asked, sounding rather formal. Legolas had always wondered why his father and mother had always called each other by their full names, and never used nick names or terms of endearment. It was as though his mother was a permanent guest, and needed to be treated with detachment.
The she-elf looked down at the orange fruit on her plate, and dropped the spoon the she was holding. Her face was one of horrible pain, as though she was being tortured. A single tear went down her cheek and landed on the edge of her plate. The entire room went so quiet that when the spoon hit the table with a clatter, it seemed as though everyone in the castle must have heard it. Then, Luinelothiel stood up, stiff as a statue, and ran out of the room as fast as she could; trailing a single word behind her, so soft that only Legolas could hear it.
"Haldir."
Legolas shook his head at the memory, only now remembering that soft word that had meant nothing to him at the time. Now he wasn't so sure he wanted to make the connection.
"What is amiss?" Aragorn came up from behind Legolas, startling the elf out of his reverie. "You look as though you've seen a ghost."
"I have in a sense." Legolas replied, grimacing. "Ghosts of the past." Aragorn looked alarmed at this, for elves rarely spoke of things of the past to non-elves, as those who did not live forever seldom understood when things of long ago were discussed.
"It has to do with Haldir." Aragorn said, a statement instead of a question. Legolas nodded reluctantly. Much as he desired another to help him sort out what was puzzling him, he wasn't sure if confiding everything in more then who needed to know was a good idea.
"He is much changed from the last time I saw him." Aragorn continued, unaware of Legolas's internal struggle. "He has always been aloof, but now whatever haunts him is penetrating the mask that he always wears. He has always been such a cold being."
"He is a fine elf!" Legolas exclaimed, finding himself on the defensive for his friend. "He is just….unused to other races, and I do not believe that he trusts men, for he was there when Isuldir was corrupted." At this statement, Aragorn winced, and Legolas knew that he had hit a sore spot. "I am sorry," the elf said quickly. This was a time when friends needed to band together, not conflict with each other.
"No, it is my fault," Aragorn said. "I did not mean to offend you. I know that Haldir is a dear friend of yours." Their eyes met, and their brief dispute was forgotten. The two of them stopped talking long enough to find places to sit closer to the fire for the night was very chilly.
"Please tell me what you know of Haldir." Aragorn said firmly. "For I have sensed his pain strongly, and I wish to help him."
"I don't believe that help is something that he wants at this moment." Legolas replied. "But I do wish to uncover what he is hiding, for I feel that it may be very important." And with that he launched into an explanation of everything that seemed relevant to their mystery, starting with the night that Haldir had screamed his mother's name. When he finished, Aragorn remained silent for several moments before saying,
"I believe that we should confront him ourselves, for he might readily talk to us when he knows that we have sensed his misery." Legolas shook his head doubtfully. "If that doesn't work," Aragorn continued, "We will reach Lorien tomorrow and I believe that the lady will have answers for us then." Legolas was about to nod in assent to Aragorn's proposal, when suddenly Haldir himself walked slowly into the clearing. He was stumbling and his chest heaved with obvious effort. Legolas got a glimpse of what looked to be crimson on one sleeve of the Warden's shirt as the elf got closer to the fire. The Lorien guard's uniform was torn and dirty, and he looked altogether like the walking dead. Immediately, Aragorn and Legolas jumped up and went to him.
"Haldir!" Legolas exclaimed. "Where have you been? Why have you spent so many hours scouting away from us? Could it not have waited until we were in Lorien? We missed your leadership." The older elf just glanced at him and shook his head, looking almost feverish.
"I wanted to do a broader search around the forest." He replied feebly, looking as though he was going to collapse at any moment.
"You look awful." Aragorn said. "Is something wrong?" Haldir shook his head and backed away from the advancing pair.
"I'm fine." He said, suddenly sharp. Straightening up, the March warden turned away from them. "I think I will take sentry duty since you have set up camp." There was a bit of the old ice in his voice.
They suspect something Haldir thought nervously, walking away from Legolas and Aragorn who seemed all too eager to converse with him. "I am fine." He repeated for emphasis and began to walk towards a tree where he could stand watch when the darkness and cold that had been threatening him for the entire journey back to his group overtook him. His knees buckled and the last thing he remembered was falling before blackness overtook him.
Well, that's it for now.
Not a wonderful chapter, but I wanted to drag Aragorn into the mess.
Once again, thank you for the wonderful reviews!! I'll update as soon as I can.
Cheers!
-Lady-Daine