SCENE THIRTEEN- Strange Happenings At Janet's Mansion
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA having a pool party at JANET'S mansion. JANET isn't there.)
Narrator 1: Meanwhile, at Janet's mansion, everyone was having a huge party.
Narrator 2: It was a rockin' bash.
Hermia: Whoo-hoo, par-tay!
Ginny: Rock on!
Elle: This is so much fun!
Storm: You're so immature.
Princess Mia: Who said that?
Gerda: I don't know.
Hermia: Who cares.
Elle: Whoo-hoo!
The Queen of the Night: Rock on!
Ginny: Par-tay!
Narrator 1: Meanwhile, Janet was sitting, putting her makeup on.
(CUT TO: JANET, at her vanity table, putting her makeup on and looking sad.)
Narrator 2: She felt very sad.
Narrator 1: Cause they didn't invite her to the party.
Narrator 2: And it was her house.
Janet: Oh, I'm so sad. Why are all of these strange people in my house? And why didn't they invite me to their stupid party? Not like I would go, anyway. but still. I mean, it's my house! Wait! They're not even paying rent! Why are they living in my house??? (pause) Oh! Where's Brad? Where's anybody? (starts to cry)
Narrator 2: Janet began to cry. She was very sad.
Narrator 1: (contemplatively) A lot of people cry in this.
Narrator 2: She was sad because they were living in her house and not paying any rent. And furthermore, she didn't know where any of her three lovers were at any point in time.
Janet: Where's Brad? (brief pause.) Where's Frankie? (brief pause) Where's Rocky? (starts to cry)
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA at the pool party.)
Everyone: Whoo-hoo! Par-tay! Rock on!
(CUT TO: JANET at her vanity table crying.)
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA at the pool party.)
Everyone: Yeah! Rock on! Par-tay! Whoo-hoo!
(CUT TO: JANET at her vanity table crying.)
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA at the pool party.)
Everyone: Wa-hoo! Yay! Par-tay! Rock on!
(CUT TO: GERDA at RINI'S house.)
Gerda: Rini!
Serena: You're wet!
Gerda: Sorry, Serena, I was a little late. I was at a rockin' bash down at Janet's mansion.
Serena: I CAN'T FIND THE INTERNET!
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA at the pool party.)
Elle: I'm gonna jump in the pool! (jumps in the pool)
Everyone: Whoo-hoo! Yay! Rock on!
(CUT TO: JANET at her vanity table crying.)
Janet: (trying to stifle her tears) I'm going to go call my lawyer to see if she can get these people out of my house.
(CUT TO: JANET'S hand dialing a number on the telephone.)
(CUT TO: JANET talking on the telephone.)
Janet: Paris? Can you come over?
Paris: (over the telephone) I'll be right over.
Narrator 2: Paris stole Monica's car and drove to Janet's house. (CUT TO: PARIS driving MONICA'S car to JANET'S house.)
Narrator 1: When Paris got there the car magically drove itself back to Monica's place. (CUT TO: MONICA'S car driving back to MONICA'S house.)
Janet: (to PARIS, who has appeared in her doorway) Oh, goodness. I didn't think you'd get here so quickly.
Paris: I'm here. What's the case?
Janet: Well, there are all of these strange people in my house.
Paris: (logically) Are they paying rent?
Janet: NO!
Paris: Oh. This is a problem, this is a definite problem.
Janet: And furthermore. (crying) I don't know where Brad is! Or where Frankie is! Or where Rocky is!
Paris: Well, there's not much we can do about that. And furthermore, who are Brad, Frankie and Rocky?
Janet: Oh. (crying) I miss them! I miss them so much!
Paris: (realizing) OH! I've seen that movie! Didn't they die at the end?
Janet: (slightly offended) No. It was just. an illusion. and even if they did die, that would still give me cause to miss them. And I would still have my darling Brad. (sighs)
Paris: Oooookayyyy..
Janet: Oh, Brad! (pauses) So, what are you from, Paris?
Paris: (slightly annoyed) Hello. Haven't you seen Gilmore Girls?
Janet: What's that? We don't get cable in Denton.
Paris: It's not cable.
Janet: Oh. we don't get TV's.
Paris: What about your sequel? It's ABOUT TV.
Janet: Umm. (starts laughing nervously.)
Narrator 2: Janet proceeded to spout off some faulty, crappy lies.
Janet: (shrinking away) I have to go to the bathroom. (locks herself in the bathroom)
Narrator 2: Janet hid in the hot tub until Paris decided it was time to leave.
(CUT TO: PARIS walking downstairs. She sees the party and joins it.)
Paris: Whoo-hoo! Par-tay!
Narrator 2: Paris joined the par-tay.
Narrator 1: The Queen of the Night tried to jump in the pool and fell and broke her leg. (CLOSE UP: THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT getting out of the pool with a broken leg.) This meant she would have to choose someone to be the new queen cause she had a broken leg. (CUT TO: HERMIA dancing) Hermia decided to go practice dancing.
(the sounds of a song going, 'La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la' can be heard as HERMIA dances. Every so often the music stops and HERMIA stops dancing. It starts again and she starts to dance again. This pattern repeats itself several times.)
Narrator 1: Her record player was broken and it kept stopping.
(CUT TO: GINNY on an exercise bike, ELLE tanning, and HERMIA dancing.)
Hermia: Elle! You're back! I can't believe it. You guys were gone for such a long time!
Ginny: I need to find my boyfriend. (crying) Why hasn't Harry asked me yet! I want to be married!
Elle: It's just time, girls. It's just time. You ought to stalk him all the way to law school. That's what I did! And I got my way. Except he wasn't the guy I married. (gasps) Ooh, maybe you'll marry Cedric!
Ginny: (exclaiming) CEDRIC DIED!
Elle: Oh. I haven't read the fourth book yet.
Ginny: And besides, it wasn't me who liked him, it was Cho.
(CUT TO: JANET crying at her vanity table.)
Janet: They didn't invite me!
Elle: (enters) Girl, stop crying, the party's over.
Narrator 1: She didn't care if the party was over.
Narrator 2: She was still very sad.
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA having a pool party at JANET'S mansion. JANET isn't there.)
Narrator 1: Meanwhile, at Janet's mansion, everyone was having a huge party.
Narrator 2: It was a rockin' bash.
Hermia: Whoo-hoo, par-tay!
Ginny: Rock on!
Elle: This is so much fun!
Storm: You're so immature.
Princess Mia: Who said that?
Gerda: I don't know.
Hermia: Who cares.
Elle: Whoo-hoo!
The Queen of the Night: Rock on!
Ginny: Par-tay!
Narrator 1: Meanwhile, Janet was sitting, putting her makeup on.
(CUT TO: JANET, at her vanity table, putting her makeup on and looking sad.)
Narrator 2: She felt very sad.
Narrator 1: Cause they didn't invite her to the party.
Narrator 2: And it was her house.
Janet: Oh, I'm so sad. Why are all of these strange people in my house? And why didn't they invite me to their stupid party? Not like I would go, anyway. but still. I mean, it's my house! Wait! They're not even paying rent! Why are they living in my house??? (pause) Oh! Where's Brad? Where's anybody? (starts to cry)
Narrator 2: Janet began to cry. She was very sad.
Narrator 1: (contemplatively) A lot of people cry in this.
Narrator 2: She was sad because they were living in her house and not paying any rent. And furthermore, she didn't know where any of her three lovers were at any point in time.
Janet: Where's Brad? (brief pause.) Where's Frankie? (brief pause) Where's Rocky? (starts to cry)
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA at the pool party.)
Everyone: Whoo-hoo! Par-tay! Rock on!
(CUT TO: JANET at her vanity table crying.)
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA at the pool party.)
Everyone: Yeah! Rock on! Par-tay! Whoo-hoo!
(CUT TO: JANET at her vanity table crying.)
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA at the pool party.)
Everyone: Wa-hoo! Yay! Par-tay! Rock on!
(CUT TO: GERDA at RINI'S house.)
Gerda: Rini!
Serena: You're wet!
Gerda: Sorry, Serena, I was a little late. I was at a rockin' bash down at Janet's mansion.
Serena: I CAN'T FIND THE INTERNET!
(CUT TO: STORM, GINNY, THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT, PRINCESS MIA, ELLE, HERMIA, and GERDA at the pool party.)
Elle: I'm gonna jump in the pool! (jumps in the pool)
Everyone: Whoo-hoo! Yay! Rock on!
(CUT TO: JANET at her vanity table crying.)
Janet: (trying to stifle her tears) I'm going to go call my lawyer to see if she can get these people out of my house.
(CUT TO: JANET'S hand dialing a number on the telephone.)
(CUT TO: JANET talking on the telephone.)
Janet: Paris? Can you come over?
Paris: (over the telephone) I'll be right over.
Narrator 2: Paris stole Monica's car and drove to Janet's house. (CUT TO: PARIS driving MONICA'S car to JANET'S house.)
Narrator 1: When Paris got there the car magically drove itself back to Monica's place. (CUT TO: MONICA'S car driving back to MONICA'S house.)
Janet: (to PARIS, who has appeared in her doorway) Oh, goodness. I didn't think you'd get here so quickly.
Paris: I'm here. What's the case?
Janet: Well, there are all of these strange people in my house.
Paris: (logically) Are they paying rent?
Janet: NO!
Paris: Oh. This is a problem, this is a definite problem.
Janet: And furthermore. (crying) I don't know where Brad is! Or where Frankie is! Or where Rocky is!
Paris: Well, there's not much we can do about that. And furthermore, who are Brad, Frankie and Rocky?
Janet: Oh. (crying) I miss them! I miss them so much!
Paris: (realizing) OH! I've seen that movie! Didn't they die at the end?
Janet: (slightly offended) No. It was just. an illusion. and even if they did die, that would still give me cause to miss them. And I would still have my darling Brad. (sighs)
Paris: Oooookayyyy..
Janet: Oh, Brad! (pauses) So, what are you from, Paris?
Paris: (slightly annoyed) Hello. Haven't you seen Gilmore Girls?
Janet: What's that? We don't get cable in Denton.
Paris: It's not cable.
Janet: Oh. we don't get TV's.
Paris: What about your sequel? It's ABOUT TV.
Janet: Umm. (starts laughing nervously.)
Narrator 2: Janet proceeded to spout off some faulty, crappy lies.
Janet: (shrinking away) I have to go to the bathroom. (locks herself in the bathroom)
Narrator 2: Janet hid in the hot tub until Paris decided it was time to leave.
(CUT TO: PARIS walking downstairs. She sees the party and joins it.)
Paris: Whoo-hoo! Par-tay!
Narrator 2: Paris joined the par-tay.
Narrator 1: The Queen of the Night tried to jump in the pool and fell and broke her leg. (CLOSE UP: THE QUEEN OF THE NIGHT getting out of the pool with a broken leg.) This meant she would have to choose someone to be the new queen cause she had a broken leg. (CUT TO: HERMIA dancing) Hermia decided to go practice dancing.
(the sounds of a song going, 'La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la' can be heard as HERMIA dances. Every so often the music stops and HERMIA stops dancing. It starts again and she starts to dance again. This pattern repeats itself several times.)
Narrator 1: Her record player was broken and it kept stopping.
(CUT TO: GINNY on an exercise bike, ELLE tanning, and HERMIA dancing.)
Hermia: Elle! You're back! I can't believe it. You guys were gone for such a long time!
Ginny: I need to find my boyfriend. (crying) Why hasn't Harry asked me yet! I want to be married!
Elle: It's just time, girls. It's just time. You ought to stalk him all the way to law school. That's what I did! And I got my way. Except he wasn't the guy I married. (gasps) Ooh, maybe you'll marry Cedric!
Ginny: (exclaiming) CEDRIC DIED!
Elle: Oh. I haven't read the fourth book yet.
Ginny: And besides, it wasn't me who liked him, it was Cho.
(CUT TO: JANET crying at her vanity table.)
Janet: They didn't invite me!
Elle: (enters) Girl, stop crying, the party's over.
Narrator 1: She didn't care if the party was over.
Narrator 2: She was still very sad.