A/N: Bonus points for anyone who knows where the beer scene is from! Anyway, still haven't been allowed on the internet for more than five minutes, so, I'm just going to type now.

Logan, Hank, and the Acolytes (minus Pietro) were on the search for a bar.

"How about this one?" Hank turned to the group following him. They all shook their heads for the umpteenth time.

"For the last time Hank, we're looking for a place to get some alcoholic beverages, not the library, not the museum, and definitely not city hall! The only government building where we'll get booze is the provincial building in Alberta!" Logan was alcohol deprived, and therefore, not in a good mood.

"Vhat about this place?" Piotr asked, pointing to a building with a glass front. A very dirty glass front, with the lettering barely visible. What was visible was the word Big Shots. The Acolytes nodded in agreement, so the six mutants walked into the building, walking out again three moments later, very shaken and disturbed. Hank, ever so calm and composed, bent over and with a shaky hand, rubbed the dirt away from the rest of the glass. Underneath Big Shots, were the words Karaoke Bar.

"Remy tinks we better ask for some directions." Remy whispered to Logan, who nodded in a grim agreement. He was silently promising himself to rip out his eardrums as soon as possible. John, overhearing the passage, waylaid the first guy to come along.

"Hey, mate, care to show us to the nearest establishment that will serve us a coupla cold ones?"

"You mean bar?" The stranger asked.

"That's what he said." Sabretooth growled. The stranger nodded, in a small, frightened, non-threatening way.

"Two blocks thataway, right turn, and you'll be right near the Lionhead tavern, eh?" Sabretooth growled his thanks. The Acolytes, Logan and Hank all turned left. "Yer other left!" The stranger called after their retreating backs. Seeing them ignore him and continue, he shrugged and moved onward.

Three minutes later, the group of mutants arrived at a local tavern. None of them knew how, but they were in front of a bar. Not the Lionhead either, but it was a bar. They were all desperate now, so they entered and approached the bartender.

"Barkeep, serve us up six frosty ones." Logan told him. The bartender nodded.

"What kind o' beer do yous want know?" Sabretooth and Logan growled while the others gave it a moments thought.

"Fosters mate."

"Remy tinks he'll try a… Molson?" Remy was not sure he had pronounced the name right.

"Anything that tastes good." Piotr's response.

"Do you serve dry martini's?"

"What kinda establishment d'ya think I run here? No, I don't serve any of those fancy drinks here! It's beer or nuttin'!" The bartender folded his arms, angry that this blue, furry man would ever accuse his bar of being that high end.

"Well, I'll have whatever he's having." Hank replied, gesturing towards Logan. The bartender snorted.

"Bottle or tap?" Was his next question.

"Bottle."

"Remy will 'ave de bottle."

"Tap mate!" Two growls from Logan and Sabretooth.

"What's tap?" Hank was beginning to get on the bartender's nerves.

"Tap, would be in a glass eh." The bartender said, nice and slowly, as if dealing with a child.

"Oh, tap then please." The bartender reached and gathered two glasses, a Molson's, a Labatt Blue, a Keiths, and a Labatt Lite. He walked over to the taps, dusted them off, and pulled the lever. At first, only dust poured out. After two minutes of waiting, a foamy liquid poured out, filling the glass in seconds.

"There's yer drinks. Now, three bucks a pop. Hank nodded, and handed over a twenty. The bartender took it, and passed Hank a strange looking coin. "One last thing afore ye can drink these, I need to know yer nationality." Logan and Sabretooth growled again. The bartender nodded and passed them the Labatt and Labatt Lite respectively.

"Russian." Piotr said proudly, and the bartender passed him the Keiths.

"Aussie!" John got his Fosters.

"Remy be American!"

"What part?"

"N'Orleans."

"I'm warning ye then, this is a powerful drink!"

"Remy can 'old 'is liquor!" The bartender nodded and passed over the Molsons. He turned to Hank. Hank parted the fur on his upper arm, and pointed to a tattoo of the American flag.

"American? What part?"

"Doesn't my tattoo prove that I can hold my liquor?"

"A real tattoo would, a temporary tattoo just proves that yer desperate, eh?" He looked over to the Acolytes and Logan, all of whom began to chuckle. Hank looked very down and out.

"Just give me my drink." He said quietly.

"Can ye boys be sure that he gets back to where 'e belongs alright?" Everyone nodded. "Here y'go then. Be careful wid that now, eh?" The bartender passed the glass over to Hank. Hank took it and downed it all in one gulp.

"Another un pleashe." He said in a slurred way. They all began to laugh, and Logan nodded. The bartender filled another glass, passing it to Hank. This time, the furry man took it and joined the others. He began to spout information from the tour, directions to Hawaii, and chess moves.

"Dij you know, that thish entire town wash built on knight to H-7?" He began to move his hands around, exaggerating his motions.

"D'ya have a chess board? Remy tinks he can beat Fuzzball 'ere!" The bartender, grinning, nodded and pulled out an ancient, and rarely used chess board. Setting it up, Remy made his first move, and waited for Hank to spout another random move.

"Pawn to C-4 wash the name of the founding mayor! He built the toen by taking a left turn on the I90!" Hank waved his hands and glass around. At the peak of the arc, a single drop spilled from his glass. Everyone watched as it fell in slow motion. The bartender's grin was replaced by an expression of pure horror and anger. Before the drop even hit the ground, he had jumped over the bar and was in Hank's face.

"You're spilling good Canadian beer on the ground! Do you know what happens when Canadian beer is spilt? Yankees get hurt! I might let this one go though, iffen you can tell me who's Mr. Spillypants?" Hank roared and raised his drink high up in the air.

"ME! Queen to G-6!"

"Aw, Fuzzball just beat Remy!" Remy looked down at the chess board, with a mournful face.

"C'mon. Finish your drink Hank, and we'll take you to go get a real tattoo." Logan finished off his beer and dragged Hank out of the bar. The Acolytes followed, and the bartender was busy shooting angry glares at Hank. Suddenly remembering that Hank hadn't paid for his second drink, he went flying after them.

"Come back 'ere and pay you lousy bastards!" Remy stole Hank's wallet and gave the bartender a purple bill. The guy took it and gave Remy a blue bill and another funny coin. Remy pocketed the money and replaced Hank's wallet. A growl from Logan, and he put the bill and coin into Hank's pocket as well.

"Now vhat?" Piotr asked.

"Now, we get Blue Boy here a tattoo and get him sobered up." Logan continued dragging Hank, until they reached what looked like a tattoo parlor. He opened the door and seated Hank down in the chair. The man turned and looked, taking a moment to realize his new client was covered in fur. The fact that he was drunk didn't bother the guy.

"Whaddya want?" He asked Hank.

"Purple pink fairies dancing in their underwear!" The tattooist stared for a moment, then turned to the other mutants.

"What does he want?" The Acolytes turned to Logan. He shrugged, and parted Hank's fur to find the temp tattoo.

"Can ya just go over this one bub?" The tattooist nodded and began to retattoo Hank.

Back in the hotel rooms, now that the young mutants were awake, and thoroughly disgusted with their roommates, they set up a game of poker. The boys pocketed their little boxes. The game was that whoever won, could pick their new roommate.

"I win!" Bobby shouted exultantly. He threw down his royal flush.

"You cheated!" Jean had checked his mind, and saw him slip the King of hearts from his sleeve. Using her telekinesis, she made half a deck of cards fly out from various spots on his body.

"That's no fair! I say he rooms with Toad for cheating!" Amara didn't want to have to room with Toad.

"I second it!"

"Hey! I ain't that bad yo!"

"Let's vote, those who say Bobby rooms with Toad for cheating," Everybody's hand shot up before Scott even finished. "Well, Bobby, you're rooming with Toad."

"I say he has to use on of the single bedrooms!" Ray felt like some excruciating torture, especially after last night, where he had to put up with Toad. Somebody seconded it, and it was decided. Before they could protest, Bobby and Toad were thrown into the first empty single room.

"Ah think that was cruel an' unusual punishment. Can we do it again?" Rogue had a slightly unbalanced look in her eyes. Everyone returned to the poker game. Jean began to look at every one else's hand, determined to get at Scott before anyone else.

"Full house, Aces over kings!" Jean threw down her hand just as Logan and the Acolytes returned, dragging a smashed Hank.

"What are you kids doin'?" Logan asked, seeing all but two of the young charges sitting in a circle, in the middle of the hallway.

"Playing poker."

"Whatcha playin' for? Can Remy join?" Remy sat down.

"New roommates!" Jamie said enthusiastically.

"You can play, I guess." Scott said, just before he was dragged off by Jean.

"New deal. One-eyed jacks, kings with an axe, and queens with a cross are wild." Lance began dealing out the cards. "Winner picks new roommate, no arguments. Royal flush is no wilds."

Remy looked at his cards, they were all wilds. He kept his best poker face, and discarded none. They were playing with four decks, so everyone would be able to play. Kitty had a good hand and a terrible poker face, in fact, they all had terrible poker faces. Except for Rogue and Kurt. Logan had already left, and Sabretooth followed, between them they could carry or drag Hank back to the room he was sharing with the Professor.

"Remy calls. Five o' a kind aces!" He spread the cards out on the carpet. Everyone else threw their hands down in a grumpy manner. Except Kurt.

"Ha! I got you beat mein freund! Royal flush spades!" Kurt put his cards down, and Remy stared. Kurt sat back and began to contemplate who he wanted as his roommate. There was Rahne, who wouldn't mind being in the same room as another fuzzball. But then, Kitty. It was a tough choice.  "Kitty!" He finally said. Kitty and Lance both looked disgusted. He ported away, taking Kitty with him. And returned within a few moments.

"Did anyone, like, notice that Jean and Scott took the other single?" Kitty asked. Everyone looked at everyone else, and stared.

"Thank-you ever so much for scarring me Kitty!" Jubilee looked pointedly at Kitty.

"You think you're scarred?" Kurt looked at Jubilee all buggy eyed. Realizing what Kurt was saying, everyone dropped their cards and ran into a random room, oblivious to who ran into the room with them. Did I mention that they were all screaming? Roberto, Tabby and Spyke found themselves in a room with a total stranger. They took a moment to stare, and then ran out into an empty room. Rahne found herself all alone in on room, so she changed into a wolf, and began to chase her tail, and…do some other stuff that dogs do.

Rogue ran into a room, and locked the door behind her. Turning, she saw one of the Acolytes facing her.

"Good evenin'! Well, maybe it's not dat good of an evenin'." Rogue stared.

"Yah ain't about to give me another card that's going to explode, are ya?" Remy shook his head.

Jamie found himself in the same room as Piotr, and promptly wet himself. St. John and Jubilee found themselves together. Along with a strange wind.

"You can stop now mate. She ain't part o' the B-hood!" With a screech, Pietro stopped, and he was panting.

"Ack!She'sthegossipmonger!They'llknowforsurethatI'mherenow!I'mdead!Wanda'sgoingtokillme!" Jubilee was grinning from ear to ear. Some serious blackmail material.

Ray and Sam looked at each other. Sam pulled out a pack of cards, and the little boxes that had names on the side. Ray pulled out his boxes, and they continued to play.

"We should make a list of who's got who, and who's what." Sam said, looking down at his hand.

"Well, Tabby and Jubilee and pyrotechnic junkies, and Tabby's a klepto in the bargain-"

"No, I mean Bobby has Larry and Larry's a mouse. Bobby also has Eddie and he's a rat. Betsy is the other mouse, and Carrie is the bat."

"Who's got the lizard?"

"I think I do." Sam began to open all the little boxes. "Whoops!" He launched himself after a tiny bug. "Well, I got the flea!" Stuffing the creature back into it's box, he picked up his cards again. "We can do that in the morning."

Wanda and Fred were the only ones running randomly around in the hall. Until Wanda ran into Freddy and knocked herself out. Big Fred picked her up and brought her into the one remaining room.

"Toad's gonna kill me if he find's out!" He mutterd to himself, closing the door.

A/N:  They hit the island next. Potato Province!

Panther- Romyness is contagious.

ishandahalf- I wanted to do just that, but my parents wouldn't let me. Something about bad relations. I tried anyway, but singing O Canada at the top of my lungs didn't get so much of a twitch.

Nueva Yui Maxwell- They will make it to every province and territory. Quebec will be lots of fun. And so will the metric system!

Jean, Ororo, Rogue, and Kurt- Romance and so forth might come, at Niagara, Scott and Jean (I assume you mean them together) were in this chapter. I also have to up the rating now. Not that many people pay attention. Or do you? I don't. I often get surprises in that manner. I like your stories! Please continue both of them!

Kaminarimon- I've been too embarrassed to say this in past chapters, but New Bunswick is non-existent. It comes from my personal typo of New Brunswick. From me ignoring my spell-check and not reading stuff over very carefully. I am ashamed to call myself Canadian. I have corrected that error, and will now cower in fear of the Canadians reading this, and hope they don't injure me too severely.

Now that I've admitted that, I will await my muse to knock me. Well, he has knocked me, but it's about a rewrite of some chapters in my other X-Men fic. As soon as I'm done that, I'll await the almighty knock, to send me into a mighty typing frenzy. Until then.

Adios

The writer formally known as darkdragon88

Chaotic Boredom