Another day of revision, another chapter!! Thanks for all the great reviews
so far, it may not be laugh out loud funny for some but I'm trying to
remain true to the books and Tolkien, and I hope you're all entertained if
nothing else. And I am most annoyed about Elven Beauty borrowing the idea,
but I'm aiming for realism and not some modern thing. It was only up for 24
hours and then… anyway, enough of my griping. Onward!
"Look Mister Frodo!" Sam waved the paper about excitedly. "A letter!" He cried, running to Frodo's bedside.
"Who could be from?" Frodo wondered aloud. There was no recognisable marking upon it, but he could tell from the way that Sam was deliberately keeping his mouth closed that Sam knew something. "Tell me, Sam."
"Open it and see Mister Frodo." Sam said with a big grin. "You just open it."
"Tell me Sam!" Frodo exclaimed, a smile forming, and Sam rejoiced to see it. He hadn't seen Frodo smile properly since the whole Ring business. Seemingly reluctantly, he told Frodo of the letter's arrival.
"Well, I was working in the garden, t'is such a glorious day Mister Frodo, you should come out and enjoy it! Anyway, I was working in the vegetable patch, fine harvest of carrots we'll have this year. Anyway, I was in the garden…"
"Sam!" Frodo cried in mock frustration, with the smile now fully formed. "Who gave you the message?"
"Twas a dwarf Mister Frodo." Sam answered him finally. "I've never before seen him but he claimed to be a kinsman of Gimli. He handed over the letter then departed again. I did ask him to stay but he insisted he left. Mighty strange I must say…"
Frodo smiled at Sam's babbling but wondered about the letter in his hand. It was most unusual that Gimli should send a letter to the Shire, and Frodo felt a cold stab of anxiety. He ripped open the letter hurriedly, preparing for bad news. He skimmed the first few lines. Oh no… it was much worse…
First make a copy of this letter and change the answers so they apply to you. Then send it to all the people you know. You may learn some interesting facts about your friends!
Another one! First Lord Elrond, then King Aragorn, and now Gimli! Would this ever stop? Still, intrigued, Frodo read on, Sam peering over his shoulder.
Name: Well, I still refuse to tell any of you my true dwarven name, but suffice it to say, Gimli will do.
Nicknames: Son of Gloin, Beard Boy (thank you Master Pippin!)
If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? I would gladly rebuild Khazad-dum, but anywhere away from that accursed elf will do! (No offence my friend!)
What is your favourite place to be? Any tavern with good malt beer, and a fine audience who will appreciate my tales.
What is your least favourite place to be? Stuck in a forest for too long. I tried to enjoy it Legolas; I tried. But as you see I am no elf.
What is the last good song you heard? The last song I heard was some elvish thing, but I'm not saying it was good.
What is your favourite colour? The silver of polished mithril, or the golden locks of The Lady.
What is your favourite smell? The musty smell of a good mine.
What is your favourite article of clothing? My trusty boots. Where would a dwarf be without his boots?
What makes you angry? Elves who insist upon greeting the sun with a song, quite unnecessary I assure you! And people who don't appreciate the beauty of a good axe swing… my Lord Elrond perhaps?
What time do you wake up in the morning? When previously stated elves start their singing. Or later if I can use my beard as a convenient muffler. You all ridiculed it you fools.
Can you juggle? What need has a dwarf for juggling? As much as a hobbit has for shoes I warrant!
What would you hate to be left in a room with? A talking tree. Unless I had my trusty axe of course! Foul minions also go on this list, although I pray their kind has gone and my worries need not be rekindled.
Is the goblet half empty or half full? You need not be concerned with the goblet, t'is the barrel that should remain half full my friends!
What is the first thing you think when you wake up? It depends whether my beard is entangled in the sheets again. Although it is a valid excuse to enjoy the rest.
What is your favourite form of exercise? Chasing elves with an axe. Keeps you and them on your toes.
Who do you have a crush on at the moment? The Lady Galadriel has none to rival her in my mind, and I will not hear a word against her. But a crush? I find it a most offensive question.
What have you got in your pocket? The Lady's gift to me from Lothlorien, and a pretty gem I picked up.
Who is most likely to respond to this letter? I shall be daring and proclaim Gandalf to be next. How busy can such a powerful wizard be that he has no time for a few questions?
Who is least likely to respond to this letter? Gandalf for the same reason!
Hail all, I send my greetings.
Frodo put the letter down on the bed, still smiling, and with a laugh just escaping his throat. Sam was overjoyed to see Frodo looking his old self again. For a few moments Frodo paused, then made a stunning announcement, at least to Sam's ears.
"You know Sam, I feel I have reason to leave my bed today."
Sam was elated, Frodo had been almost voluntarily bed-ridden for the last week, but now he was willing to be up and about.
"Why Mister Frodo," He asked. "Whatever is the occasion?"
Frodo winked at him with a smile. "I need to purchase some paper…"
So Frodo's answers are up next, and I'll take requests if I think I can do the characters justice.
"Look Mister Frodo!" Sam waved the paper about excitedly. "A letter!" He cried, running to Frodo's bedside.
"Who could be from?" Frodo wondered aloud. There was no recognisable marking upon it, but he could tell from the way that Sam was deliberately keeping his mouth closed that Sam knew something. "Tell me, Sam."
"Open it and see Mister Frodo." Sam said with a big grin. "You just open it."
"Tell me Sam!" Frodo exclaimed, a smile forming, and Sam rejoiced to see it. He hadn't seen Frodo smile properly since the whole Ring business. Seemingly reluctantly, he told Frodo of the letter's arrival.
"Well, I was working in the garden, t'is such a glorious day Mister Frodo, you should come out and enjoy it! Anyway, I was working in the vegetable patch, fine harvest of carrots we'll have this year. Anyway, I was in the garden…"
"Sam!" Frodo cried in mock frustration, with the smile now fully formed. "Who gave you the message?"
"Twas a dwarf Mister Frodo." Sam answered him finally. "I've never before seen him but he claimed to be a kinsman of Gimli. He handed over the letter then departed again. I did ask him to stay but he insisted he left. Mighty strange I must say…"
Frodo smiled at Sam's babbling but wondered about the letter in his hand. It was most unusual that Gimli should send a letter to the Shire, and Frodo felt a cold stab of anxiety. He ripped open the letter hurriedly, preparing for bad news. He skimmed the first few lines. Oh no… it was much worse…
First make a copy of this letter and change the answers so they apply to you. Then send it to all the people you know. You may learn some interesting facts about your friends!
Another one! First Lord Elrond, then King Aragorn, and now Gimli! Would this ever stop? Still, intrigued, Frodo read on, Sam peering over his shoulder.
Name: Well, I still refuse to tell any of you my true dwarven name, but suffice it to say, Gimli will do.
Nicknames: Son of Gloin, Beard Boy (thank you Master Pippin!)
If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? I would gladly rebuild Khazad-dum, but anywhere away from that accursed elf will do! (No offence my friend!)
What is your favourite place to be? Any tavern with good malt beer, and a fine audience who will appreciate my tales.
What is your least favourite place to be? Stuck in a forest for too long. I tried to enjoy it Legolas; I tried. But as you see I am no elf.
What is the last good song you heard? The last song I heard was some elvish thing, but I'm not saying it was good.
What is your favourite colour? The silver of polished mithril, or the golden locks of The Lady.
What is your favourite smell? The musty smell of a good mine.
What is your favourite article of clothing? My trusty boots. Where would a dwarf be without his boots?
What makes you angry? Elves who insist upon greeting the sun with a song, quite unnecessary I assure you! And people who don't appreciate the beauty of a good axe swing… my Lord Elrond perhaps?
What time do you wake up in the morning? When previously stated elves start their singing. Or later if I can use my beard as a convenient muffler. You all ridiculed it you fools.
Can you juggle? What need has a dwarf for juggling? As much as a hobbit has for shoes I warrant!
What would you hate to be left in a room with? A talking tree. Unless I had my trusty axe of course! Foul minions also go on this list, although I pray their kind has gone and my worries need not be rekindled.
Is the goblet half empty or half full? You need not be concerned with the goblet, t'is the barrel that should remain half full my friends!
What is the first thing you think when you wake up? It depends whether my beard is entangled in the sheets again. Although it is a valid excuse to enjoy the rest.
What is your favourite form of exercise? Chasing elves with an axe. Keeps you and them on your toes.
Who do you have a crush on at the moment? The Lady Galadriel has none to rival her in my mind, and I will not hear a word against her. But a crush? I find it a most offensive question.
What have you got in your pocket? The Lady's gift to me from Lothlorien, and a pretty gem I picked up.
Who is most likely to respond to this letter? I shall be daring and proclaim Gandalf to be next. How busy can such a powerful wizard be that he has no time for a few questions?
Who is least likely to respond to this letter? Gandalf for the same reason!
Hail all, I send my greetings.
Frodo put the letter down on the bed, still smiling, and with a laugh just escaping his throat. Sam was overjoyed to see Frodo looking his old self again. For a few moments Frodo paused, then made a stunning announcement, at least to Sam's ears.
"You know Sam, I feel I have reason to leave my bed today."
Sam was elated, Frodo had been almost voluntarily bed-ridden for the last week, but now he was willing to be up and about.
"Why Mister Frodo," He asked. "Whatever is the occasion?"
Frodo winked at him with a smile. "I need to purchase some paper…"
So Frodo's answers are up next, and I'll take requests if I think I can do the characters justice.