Hello, everyone!! Once again, thank you for all the wonderful reviews! It was great to get so many responses!
To my Lovely reviewers:
Liquid Dreamer: Glad you liked the humor, I wanted to lighten things up a little bit, do a little spare tension releasing. I hope Lythian is good for the plot, and me, being the feminist that I am, needed to give this story a bit of a female touch J And marching band is awesome, at least our marching band is… though it's going downhill from here, my brother is drum-major this year ::dies::
JadeGoddess- Yep, everyone knows all the details… or so they think ::evil laugh::
HalandLeg4ever- I'm glad you're enjoying it, and hopefully Haldir will get some reprieve... but then again, I do love to torture my characters…
The Lady of Imladris- I'm glad you think my fighting scenes have improved! They're something that I've always struggled with. I like Lythian too J, she reminds me of… me… I hope she survives this story! The pain and the angst are hard for me, because I've never been through something of this particular nature, but I try. Imagining Haldir's expression is key to me in getting some of the emotions that I need. Thanks for all of your wonderful praise! ::grins::
MirkwoodMaiden: Fighting scenes are extremely hard for me, because I can see them in my head, but transposing it into words is difficult. I tried to just keep it simple and easy to understand, but add some excitement and keep any of the warriors from seeming "invincible". I'm glad you liked Lythian, as she has a strong part yet to play in this ::evil laugh:: but I needed someone who I could characterize however I wanted, and a strong female lead is always a good thing!
Lady-Of-Legolas: Doesn't he need a bunch of hugs? I always though that Legolas was hot, but Haldir is the big, cold teddy bear that needs hugs!
Elf-Girl- Split personalities are nice. Anyway, I agree, Legolas is the hottest being alive, and we must all pity Haldir regardless of where or not he father him. They don't look alive, do they? And by the way, thanks for catching my mistake. I didn't mean for Thranduil to be mentioned as king, but prince. Oops!
Well, I think that's everyone from chapter 6!
Important Note: I made a small mistake in the previous chapter, sorry. I stated that Lythian was a couple decades older then Legolas. I meant younger. Sorry, that's going to have a big part later, so I thought I'd fix it right now.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything at all from Lord of the Rings, and like about 100 million other people, I wish I did… I am using it strictly for recreational purposes!
Now, without further ado,
Halo of Tears
Chapter 7 (wow, 7 chapters already!)
Haldir wandered through the forests of Lorien aimlessly, recklessly letting his tears fall. He ignored anything and everything, and gave himself up to the memories, flickering things, remembering only bits and pieces of each one, letting them tear him apart…..
Haldir and ten guards escorted Luinelothiel to Mirkwood. Celeborn had not wanted to let Haldir go with the party, but the Lady had allowed it, though with tears in her eyes. They hadn't been sure which would tear his heart up more, so they let him make his own decision in blind sorrow.
Luinelothiel hadn't said a word since that fateful meeting with her rulers, keeping to herself. If one looked closely, they could often see her slipping into the woods, silver tears flowing down her beautiful face, eyes full of nothing but grief.
In turn, Haldir avoided her and anyone else, including his family and former friends, slipping away whenever possible. He couldn't stand, no, he LOATHED the way they looked on with compassion and pity, yet there was a light that said that they thought the marriage a needful sacrifice, and would not take Haldir's side to fight against it. He had no will to do so, no will to do anything but morn his losses. He was still young, naive, and convinced that he was the only elf in the world that had suffered a broken heart.
They left a month and a day from the day of Luinelothiel's audience, two heartbroken elves, and ten guardians, snail pacing away from their beloved home. Since all twelve of them were guardians in the ruler's service, they could have taken fast horses and made it to Mirkwood in a bare fraction of their time, but instead they went in the full grandeur of a wedding party, swathed in silks and riding pure white stallions.
~*~*~*~*~
The first night, they camped out, Luinelothiel tried to volunteer a time as sentry, but the guards had had orders to treat her as the bride to be that she was, and insisted that she not. The look of sheer anguish on her pretty face was enough to tear Haldir's heart in half. Instead of arguing, she simply looked down and walked into the tent that had been erected for her.
Haldir quickly followed. When he got to the entrance, he began to lift the flap when an arm grabbed his wrist and pulled it away. He whirled around to see his friend, Sendenial, quickly step between him and the tent.
"Let me in!" Haldir said, his voice a harsh whisper. Sendenial shook his head.
"Haldir, mellon-nin, you're tearing yourself apart! This isn't healthy, please, don't do this to yourself!" Haldir looked at his friend with sudden repugnance. HE didn't know what it was like to have your love taken from you. HE didn't understand what Haldir had been through, and never would! HE had no right to intercede in something that he didn't understand.
"I outrank you Sendenial." He replied, trying to contain his rage. "Let me in!" Once again his friend shook his head.
"This is no time to pull rank on me Haldir." Sendenial frowned; chagrined that he could do so little to help his friend. "You need to listen to me."
Haldir had had enough. He let his rage get the better up him. Silently, almost snakelike, the depressed elf brought his foot around the calves of the one keeping him from his beloved. Sweeping his own leg back towards him with silent strength, he sent Sendenial sprawling to the ground. Before anyone else could stop him he rushed into the tent.
Arms grabbed him and pulled him down; there was someone weeping madly right next to him. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around Luinelothiel, and the two of them held each other, just weeping in the dark, ignoring all else.
When not another tear would fall, Luinelothiel broke her silence for the first time.
"Haldir, I will die in Mirkwood."
"No, you won't, you will be strong." He answered, sharing the years of strength that he had built up inside of him, openly giving her will to live.
"No, I have no wish to live there, I would just assume die."
"You must live!" Haldir said ardently. When she continued to protest he said, "No, listen to me! You will be the envoy to Lorien from Mirkwood; they will have to make you such. That will give you an excuse to travel home often. And then we can be together."
"But I will be married!" Luinelothiel wailed, obviously having given up hope completely.
"It can be a secret." Haldir suggested. He knew what he was saying was scandalous, and could end up being a disruption of the treaty between Mirkwood and Lorien, but at the moment he didn't care. "You may be married into Mirkwood by vow, but by love, you will always be bound to me."
Slowly, Luinelothiel nodded, agreeing to the idea. Lovingly, Haldir kissed her, passionately and desperately, but at the same time gently. Then he gently picked her up and carried her over to her bedroll.
"Sleep," he said softly, "so that you may have energy to face the morrow." As her eyes closed, Haldir left the tent silently. Once outside, he propped himself against the side of a tree and gazed at the stars, letting his focus drop. He must stay strong, if only for Luinelothiel's sake. Pain and sorrow could wait.
Though his beloved slept well that night, Haldir took a waking vigil, refusing to surrender to dreams that would haunt him more then the waking nightmare that he lived in.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Days passed on slowly, as the party made its way North. They took the most direct route possible, due north, straight over the misty mountains and into southern Mirkwood.
Haldir and Luinelothiel seldom spoke, but he handed her silent strength constantly, a smile or a squeeze of the hand, often riding side by side with her, enjoying the silence, or the sounds of birds and trees singing, the sounds of nature. Days passed, Luinelothiel slowly gaining color and will, Haldir slowly loosing it, but refusing to show any forms of weakness.
Finally the day of truth came; the day that they reached the stronghold of Mirkwood and Prince Thranduil. It was a sunny day, full of warmth and light, but Haldir was freezing inside. However, he suppressed his shivering and rode with his head high, in all the glory of Lorien.
Birds sang brightly and the trees lit up with the sun, but Mirkwood Forest seemed bitter and cold to the party. They reached the palace at midday, drawing a great deal of attention from citizens of the country. It seemed as though they were anticipated, for elves seemed to be everywhere, all of them wanting a glimpse of their princess to be. The few moments that it took them to ride from the dwellings to the palace seemed like hours, and the elves of Lorien felt like some sort of spectacle.
They reached their destination amid several cries of welcome. Mirkwood elves in all hues of brightly colored costumes ran to greet the wedding party, smiling faces that seemed genuine and bright. The welcoming party consisted of thirty or so elves, all of them nobles, discerned by the quality of their clothing and the jewelry that they wore.
Grandest of all however, was Prince Thranduil himself, dressed in forest green shirt with a silver tunic and hose. He wore simple black riding boot, and what looked to be a well used sword in a sheath at his waist. A lacy silver coronet, in the design of a vine with leaves on it accented golden hair. He made truly an impressive, quite handsome site, and Haldir was immediately Jealous.
"Welcome to Mirkwood." The prince said in a light tenor, sounding as though he truly was happy to see the Lorien elves. "It is wonderful to see you."
Haldir and the ten guards dismounted from their horses and bowed politely to the prince, as the Lady had said they should. Haldir immediately proceeded to walks towards Luinelothiel's horse to help her dismount, fully aware that she needed no help. However, Sendenial grabbed his elbow and tugged him back, giving his friend a warning look. Though the two of them hadn't spoke since the incident weeks before, Haldir heeded him this time and stayed where he was.
Thranduil himself approached Luinelothiel's horse and Haldir saw her take a deep breath and close her eyes. When she opened them again, there was a mask of content on her face. She turned towards him and nodded deliberately, once. Then she turned forwards and allowed Thranduil to help her dismount. He looked at her once, and nodded genially, obviously pleased by her seemingly gentle nature and stunning beauty.
"Welcome to your new home my lady," he almost whispered, as though his words were now meant only for her, though everyone around him could hear them spoken clearly. "I hope that you will be happy here." He took her hand and drew her back into his entourage, the simple white of her clothing standing out against the bright hues of the rest of the group. Thranduil turned to the guards of Lorien.
"You are welcome, friends, to spend as much time here as you wish. The wedding will be within the moon turning, and surely you would stay for that." At this, Sendenial stepped forward, turning to look at Haldir only briefly.
"Thank you milord." He said professionally, "But we must return to Lorien in all haste. We must leave as soon as our horses have had a bit of time to breathe."
"Surely you will at least stay the night?" Thranduil said. "We have prepared a welcoming feast for our new bride. There will be a great deal of festivities this night. And you must meet my father." Sendenial sighed, but shook his head.
"I regret to decline such an invitation, but it is dire that we return home as soon as possible."
"Very well," Thranduil said, sounding disappointed. "There is a stream not far to the east of the palace where the horses may drink, and there are fruit trees there, if you will not even stay for an hour to have a meal before you leave." Sendenial bowed again.
"Thank you milord for your hospitality." He then turned to his comrades. "Mount up, we leave in haste."
Quickly, every one of the guards save Haldir got into saddle. Haldir hesitated slightly, and then walked forward before anyone could stop him. First he looked Thranduil straight in the eyes, fixing him with a look that had withered elves of the stoutest strength.
"Take care of her." He said simply. Thranduil held his gaze, with something that looked like understanding in his eyes. The prince nodded slowly, dropping the severe gaze of the Lorien guardian.
Then Haldir turned to Luinelothiel, he looking into her eyes, ignoring the last look of pleading that she allowed herself, yet another blow to his broken heart.
"Wind to thy wings," He said softly, using the farewell that the two of them had always used, for the last time. Then turned away, too stiffly, and walked with eerie calm towards his horse. The entire welcoming party and the Lorien elves had gone silent. Now they watched him as he mounted in one fluid movement, wheeled his horse around, and nudged it into a trot, never once looking back for fear that someone would see his tears. Quickly the other elves of Lorien followed his example, whispering soft farewells to their companion turned sacrifice.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The Lorien elves, now without the job of escorting a bride, made much faster time away from the palace, and managed to make it to the edge of Mirkwood forest before they camped. As soon as he had seen to his horse, and done his camp duties, Haldir made off into the trees of Mirkwood, out of site and earshot of his counterparts.
Leaning against a tree, he let his mask of control down; let the tears of anguish spill out, sinking into pure exhaustion, for he had not slept soundly for weeks. There was only pain, only sorrow. The world around him vanished and was replaced with a cold void of despair. There had to be a way to vent it, had to be a way to make it stop…
Slowly Haldir took the dagger that he always had in his boot and brought it down on his wrist…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Tracing the very first line that ran from wrist to elbow with his knife, Haldir smiled humorlessly through his tears. How interesting that centuries later he would cut the same line that he had so long ago. Sinisterly, it felt good, releasing the pain from before…and now…
~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas and Aragorn stood before the lady with their fellows, hoping she was almost done with them. Though her words meant much and were important to them, they direly wished to seek Haldir out before he did something terrible.
"Rest now in the haven of Lorien, for you are weary." Galadriel said kindly to the fellowship. It was clearly a dismissal. As the group turned to leave, The Lady turned slightly so that she faced only Legolas and Aragorn. Her serene face turned into one full of pleading.
Help Haldir, she "spoke" in their minds, for I fear for his very soul.
The two friends nodded slowly to her, and turned away, walking down a staircase, away from the audience chamber.
~*~*~*~*~*~
When they were out of the earshot of everyone, Legolas turned to Aragorn.
"This is dire indeed if the Lady seeks our help." He said, worriedly. The man next to him nodded.
"Where is Lythian?" Aragorn asked.
"Looking for Haldir." Legolas replied immediately. "She told me as we parted that she would try to find him and then seek us when she has found him."
"Then what do we do now?" Aragorn asked, wanting to get this predicament over with so that their minds could rest of the perils of their quest.
"We rest," Legolas said with a yawn, "and we wait."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Silently, Lythian leapt from branch to branch, searching out the March Warden. Why she felt so compelled to help him or why she worried so much about him was a mystery to her. Though she was fond of the over-stern elf, they didn't know each other very well. In fact, the only reason that they knew each other personally at all was because of her status as a young captain, and her constant desire to get on his nerves.
Now the fun loving trickster was completely serious as she sought out her master. The story that Legolas had told her had been extremely interesting, and matched with her suspicions about the older elf. She had always wondered about him, why he refused to take a lover even though just about any she-elf and no few male elves would have given limbs for the position. He was such a recluse, seldom going to social events though there were many, and he refused to let up on his duty, never taking time off, or letting wounds stop him from finishing a patrol. She had also heard from her elders that he had a beautiful singing voice, yet he would not sing, even with others, let alone when he was asked to sing alone. Because of this, Lythian had made it her own personal project to cheer him up a bit. Before the fellowship had come, she had succeeded in making him smile once every few months, but it was a smile that would quickly fade and he would return to his icy mask.
Lythian swung into another yet another tree, and whirled around when she heard a sound coming from directly below her. Peering down, she had to suppress a gasp at what she saw.
Haldir leaned against the tree with both his wrists laying face up, resting on his knees. Even from high up in the tree, Lythian could see the red lines running up and down each arm, all of them bleeding heavily. Tears splashed down occasionally, causing the tendrils of blood to run faster, staining the pine needles on the ground pink.
The sheer horror of the site caused Lythian to freeze in place, unable to move or breathe.
With a sob, Haldir brought the blade to his throat, his arm shaking with his body, grief evident in every part of him.
Seeing him lift the knife gave Lythian a new sense of urgency. There was no time to return to Legolas and Aragorn… they could be filled in later. Without a second thought, Lythian let herself down the tree in a controlled fall. When she reached the bottom, Haldir looked up, surprised that someone had intruded on him. However, before he could do anything, Lythian leapt at him, sending his blade flying….
~*~*~*~*~*~
That's it for now, not too much of a cliffy for next time….
Sorry if the memories were boring, but I wanted to clarify a bit of stuff, make sure the storyline was clear so that nothing seemed completely random anymore.
Please Review if you get a chance, I LOVE reviews!!
Wind to thy wings,
Lady-Daine