Chapter 12: Mended Heart
Seifer's POV
The morning's daylight broke through my curtains, hitting my eyes and waking me from the deep slumber that I had been dreaming in. I moaned as I rubbed my eyes to shield out the penetrating brightness. I couldn't bear to face another day, dragging myself through the long minutes of each hour. Everything was just so depressing, and my mind couldn't concentrate on anything I set it to. Ever since I'd lost Rinoa in that 'one in a million' chance encounter, my life had taken such a bad turn for the worse. She wouldn't even hear what I had to say when I tried to talk to her, and she blanked me in the hallways. My heart had been crushed into the ground every time she wouldn't listen, which was slowly killing me inside.
For the past few days I had shut myself up in my room, not allowing anyone past the doors. I had been lying here in my bed for the entirety of the time, drowning in my sorrow and loss. I had lost one of my only close friends, and the hole in my heart was growing day by day. It was as if my life had been shattered like a sheet of glass, and all the pieces just couldn't be put back together however hard I tried. I knew that I was being stupid and pathetic, but I couldn't help but feel this way. I had loved Rinoa more than any other person besides Fujin…She had been there for me when times were rough, supporting and covering my back in times of need. But all this had been crushed and broken because of that one stupid kiss…
If only she would listen to me, but the crime had been done, and there was no changing what Rinoa had seen. And there was also no way of changing the way she thought…
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Fujin's POV
It had been days since I'd last seen Seifer. He wasn't in class or anywhere around the garden…Every minute of the day I was searching for him, just to see one glimpse of him, but he was no where to be found at all…
"Fujin!" a male voice called from behind me. I turned around, hoping with all my life that it would be Seifer, but once again my mind was playing tricks.
"Hi Rajin." I hadn't seen Rajin for a while either, but I was glad that he was here because I still had to tell him about Pandemona…
But just then I caught sight of Rinoa coming towards me. I called out to her, but she only strode on past. I sighed, knowing it was hopeless to try and fix things now, but then out of the corner of my eye I saw her turn around. I looked up expecting her to talk to me, but instead she glared back at me, sending daggers through her eyes. She then turned and left me feeling even worse than I already did. I turned back to face Rajin who was completely unaware of the ongoing situation. He looked oddly at me, telling me to explain what just happened.
"I'll tell you later. Lets go and get something to eat." I said and promptly began to walk towards the cafeteria with Rajin following.
***
While eating our lunch, I had gradually retold the story of what happened to Rajin who sat there silently throughout it. But as I neared the end of my story, I saw tiny small reactions in Rajin's eyes. He had become restless, looking in different directions and avoiding eye contact. All the time I was reciting the scene from the other day with Seifer and myself, he was flinching and becoming agitated…
"Rajin…Are you ok?" I said pausing for a moment. He then snapped his head back round to face me, and began to talk in a jumble of words. He was nervous and on edge. I could tell.
"Um…Yeah, ya know…errr…I'm fine ya know…" His eyes were darting from spot to spot as he spoke, so I decided to drop the subject.
"Rajin! Calm down." I said amusingly. "Don't be so uptight!"
"Ok…" Silence then laid down her blanket over us, making anymore conversation extremely awkward.
"You…don't happen to know where Seifer is do you?" I couldn't stand it any longer. I had to see him to make sure he was ok. The last time I'd seen him, he looked like an empty soul with no purpose except to suffer…
"…I heard that he shut himself up in his room ya know."
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Seifer's POV
I didn't know what the time was or what day it was. The only thing on my mind was sleep, although some food would be nice…
Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I ignored it and buried myself deeper under my covers. I was in no fit mood to speak to anyone or to even see them. I was a wreck: I hadn't even set foot outside of my bed for a couple of days, and I could tell I had garbage bins under my eyes because I was awake half the night…
The person knocked again and again, each time receiving no answer. I wished they would stop and leave me in peace…
"Seifer? It's me Fujin. Please open your door…" My eyes immediately sprung open, but then again I didn't want to face her…
I then heard a faint fiddling at my door, but I ignored it. Out of nowhere my door swung open and in stepped Fujin. I groaned and sat up in my bed.
"How the hell did you get in? I swear I locked the door!" I said angrily. But she only smiled and held up a hairpin. "What do you want?"
"I only wanted to see how you were…" She said with her back facing me as she walked over towards my curtains. She flung them open, letting the light pour in. I flinched back and defended myself against the glaring rays. "You really are a site to see you know that?" she said grinning. I didn't reply and only grunted as I turned over facing the wall of my room.
"What's wrong?" I felt her sit down on the edge of my bed. "Come on…tell me." I still didn't reply. Silence overcame us as I refused to reply, apart from the everyday sounds that suddenly become apparent when you listen carefully.
"Rinoa's transferring to Timber…" I mumbled in my own time.
"Seifer…" her gentle hand came to rest on my shoulder. All of a sudden words seemed to flow out of my mouth the instant her hand touched me, as if she gave me the strength to talk to her.
"Why? Why can't she listen? I didn't mean to hurt her…Why? Please tell me why Fujin…" I sat up facing her as I said my last sentence. I looked into her sympathetic red eye, pleading with her to answer my questions that I could find no solution to.
"Seifer…I can't say why or how, but you can't change what happened…Its up to Rinoa to decide what she thinks, not me…" I nodded at her reasonable words. She was right. I couldn't do anything to change what had happened. I couldn't alter time and space just to fit my needs…
I felt a lot better from that. I felt that someone really did care…and that I wasn't alone. The hole inside of me was slowly beginning to heal itself, but I knew that it would take time and my will power…I could overcome this obstacle if I wanted… But right now it seemed almost impossible to cross that bridge…I could see the other side of the river's edge, but the path had been destroyed by the raging waters…
I sighed and held Fujin's small hand in mine, silently thanking her for her help. She hadn't said much, but her few words had put a temporary cover over the void in my heart. Her persistence in seeing me, and not giving up gave me that extra bit of hope that there was light at the end of the tunnel as well.
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Fujin's POV
I was glad that I had been able to get through the locked doors of his heart. All he needed was time…and he had understood that…
I smiled, happy that he was on the way back to his normal self. But as the silent time went by, the smile faded from my face. Instead of Seifer sitting opposite me I saw myself in a darkened room…
My eyes were beginning to become heavy and every now and again I my head fell as I drifted back and forth trough consciousness.
"Fujin?" a voice said from in front of me. His hand held my shoulders as my head dangled loosely on my neck. I finally couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, and darkness engulfed my mind.
"Fujin!"
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Seifer's POV
I didn't know what was happening, but it seemed as though she had fallen asleep. I replaced her limp and lifeless body with myself, as I rose out of bed for the first time in days. Her deep and even breathing assured me that she was definitely sleeping, but it still didn't seem quite right that she would fall asleep just like that in the middle of the day…
As I proceeded to tidy myself up, I heard faint mumblings from Fujin. I ignored them at first, but her voice began to grow ever more distressed, until she suddenly started to cry.
I rushed to her side, anxious at what was wrong, but found no answer…Her tears slid down her red cheeks as she continued to whisper words that were completely confusing to me. She seemed to be talking for two people, making no sense as I listened to her.
I felt so helpless as I knelt there, watching her suffer alone. The only thing I did and thought of doing was finding her hand, which was clenching the sheets, and holding it. With my other hand I wiped the tears from her tightly shut red eye and stroked her head, hoping it would ease her sudden nightmare…