Greetings once again!! ::runs away as a giant mob with torches and lawyers runs towards her::: I know, I know, it's been forever since I updated, but as always, I'm sooooo busy. On the other hand, marching band is winding down, so I get more time! On the other hand, midterms are coming up, and I HAVE to bring up a certain physics grade on pain of death. On the other hand, I'm preparing for national musical competition in January, and I'm already preparing for it (I'm competing on 3 instruments, so I need time!) on the other hand… well, I'm confusing myself (and running out of hands) so I'll stop blabbering and start writing….
By the way, this ISN'T going to be slash, only friendship and camaraderie
The song woven into this chapter is "I will carry you" by Clay Aiken. ::sighs:: cute pop musicians…. Not even going to start on that subject… but I like the song a lot…I would highly suggest his new album if anyway is looking for something to listen to. It's typical pop stuff, but Clay has a beautiful voice, and he's cute! Did I mention that he was cute? (I'm not shallow… I swear!) (I don't even usually listen to pop, but I really like the CD) anyway… no more blubbering ::smacks self::
Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with or relating to Lord of the Rings, nor do I own the song lyrics to "I will carry you", or Clay Aiken ::sighs:: Please don't sue me!
~~
Yeah I know it hurts
Yeah I know you're scared
Walking down the road that leads to who knows where...
Legolas rushed blindly in every which direction. It didn't matter anymore, didn't matter where he went, what he did. There was only pain. It was his fault, all his fault. His beautiful blue eyes streamed with tears, but they weren't for himself.
The knife
Thrown so recklessly
Blood
Everywhere…
Help!
I don't deserve help!
Why?
I don't deserve to know why
Pain
The formerly proud prince of Mirkwood stumbled through the woods. For a while he vaguely hoped that he would be impaled by a tree branch or get attacked by Orcs, but even that coherent thought left him sooner or later. There was pure, undiluted self loathing in every part of him, he wished only for himself to suffer, to die, though he didn't even deserve the haven of death.
I killed her
My mother
How?
I don't deserve to know how
Why?
I don't deserve to know why
Pain
I deserve pain
More pain
~*~*~
Don't you hang your head
Don't you give up yet
When courage starts to disappear,
I will be right here…
~*~*~*~*~
Aragorn sprinted toward the open door, Lythian, Haldir, and all others completely forgotten. He was not going to lose his best friend, not after everything that they had persevered through together. It wasn't fair, wasn't fair that Legolas, simply trying to mend his friend's severed heart was being paid for it in pain. The man cursed to himself as he followed a fortunately clear path of wreckage that lead away from the elvish building into the woods close bye. Legolas was obviously not even close to himself, for there was a carelessly left path that even a child could have picked up upon. Why this now? The ranger wondered, frustrated at this new turn of events. Coherent or not, Legolas was a very fast runner, and the man wasn't sure if he would catch up with him in time.
This particular wood wasn't a path meant for walking, and the Aragorn found it hard going, despite the fact that there were many crushed bushes and downed branches where Legolas had run. Run away from what? Aragorn wondered to himself. From the anger of Haldir and Lythian? No! Aragorn deduced right away. Legolas was one to make actions and stand by them, whether they be right or wrong. He would admit to mistakes, even major ones, and take the consequences for them. There has to be a reason for it… the main continued fleetingly. He finally came up with one conclusion. Reason had nothing to do with it.
~*~*~*~
When your world breaks down
And the voices tell you, turn around,
When your dreams give out…
~*~*~*~*~
Legolas looked neither back nor forward; no longer saw anything. He was completely blind to the world, to life. The elf desperately wanted to stop and sit, and never move again, and yet he couldn't stop, couldn't let himself stop. If he stopped, something terrible would happen.
What else would happen?
What else COULD happen?
I don't deserve to know
I don't deserve anything
I don't even deserve pain…
~*~*~*~*~
"Legolas!" Aragorn called out through the empty woods, continually running as he called. He heard nothing but his own voice echoing back. All the life around this particular spot had been frightened away by the mad elf or his would be rescuer, or both.
"Legolas! I just…" Aragorn paused his call, completely unsure of what to say. What could he say to the elf whose life had just been turned upside, twisted, ripped, and stabbed by his own knife?
"Legolas, I just want to talk, want to help you! Nothing else, no one is angry with you!" It sounded foolish, even to his own ears, but the man continued to call it, desperately hoping that the elf would somehow hear him, and at the same time, knowing it was futile. His friend was going to die, for Aragorn knew that Legolas no longer had control.
He had come several miles into the forest by now, and was starting to tire. Even for an athletically talented man who was taught by elves, this was a difficult run and Aragorn had not been totally refreshed at the start. The man grimaced and put on a burst of speed…..
~*~*~*~*~
Haldir didn't move as Aragorn dashed out the door of the antechamber, and simply held on to his love. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was aware that Legolas was in mortal danger, but it didn't register on him. Legolas tried to kill him… had almost killed his love, and Haldir was at a loss of what to think. It could wait. Lythian was here; she was alive. He bent down and held her as tight as the royal couple of Lorien continued to stare openly at the still open door. Galadriel and Celeborn were speechless, each wrapped in a fathomless burden of their private thoughts. Finally they stood up and walked through the door, leaving a silent prayer behind them. All four of them.
~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas was still running. He hurt all over, mind and body, but he couldn't stop running. There was nowhere to go. Even as he ran, it felt as though he was stuck in perpetual stillness, going neither forward nor back, not up or down. For a single moment he heard something the punctured his sightlessness for a single moment, a familiar voice that stirred memories of something other then pain. Memories of what could have been hours ago seemed like lifetimes ago, but they were there, if only for a moment.
In this brief moment of control, Legolas looked forward to see an expanse of open air, not three feet in front of him. A cliff, so deep that even elvish eyes couldn't see a bottom. The voice bade him to stop; reason bade him in the same direction. However, the pain took over. The lithe prince of Mirkwood lifted his arms and dove over the edge…
~*~*~*~
I will carry you, carry you
When the stars go blind
And the darkness starts to fill your eyes
When you've fallen behind
I will carry you
~*~*~*~*~
Aragorn ran from the cover of the trees in time to watch Legolas prepare to dive off an overhanging cliff. The man didn't think, but simply reacted. He reached out, and with a strength that could only have been god given, gripped the elf's tunic and pulled, sending both of them crashing to the ground, inches from the cliff's edge.
~*~*~*~*~
Everybody cries
Everybody bleeds
No one ever said that life's an easy thing…
~*~*~*~*~
For several moments, man and elf just lay there, exhausted in every way, unable to move, to think, to react anymore. The only sound was that of the ragged breathing of Aragorn and Legolas as they struggled to catch their breath, struggled to make their minds work. It was Legolas who recovered first. He began to leap to his feet, but Aragorn recovered enough to pull him back down again.
"Legolas! Listen to me!" the man demanded. Legolas struggled to get up again, but Aragorn wouldn't let him. "Listen to me my friend!"
~*~*~*~*~
That's the beauty of it
When you lose your way
Close your eyes and go to sleep
And wake up to another day
~*~*~*~*
Legolas stopped struggling, mostly because he had nothing left to burn as energy.
"We're going to get through this!" Aragorn stated raggedly but firmly. "I'm going to help you!" Legolas made an indiscernible noise that sounded sinisterly like a humor laugh. The elf's lashes fluttered and if possible, his skin became paler. Finally he opened his eyes, and Aragorn was relieved to see that there was no madness in them, simply pain.
"I don't deserve help." The elf's voice came out weak and sorrowful enough to break anyone's heart. Aragorn summoned enough energy to sit up and pull the elf into a brotherly hug.
"Of course you do," The man insisted confidently.
"I killed her!" The elf whispered, with tones of self loathing painfully evident.
"First of all," The man reasoned, "you didn't kill her. Lythian will be fine. Second of all, you weren't yourself!" Aragorn wanted nothing more then to curl up and sleep for a week, but this was more important. He was going to pay for this later…
"I tried to kill…my….my…. f-friend!" Legolas said, stuttering on the word friend.
"Haldir is also fine, and, as I said, you were not yourself at the time. I assure that not Haldir or Lythian harbor any feelings against you," Aragorn pulled Legolas's chin up so that the elf's sorrowful cerulean was forced to gaze into his stormy gray. "I hold nothing against you and never will. Your entire part in this… disaster was a heartfelt attempt to help a friend."
~*~*~*~
When your world breaks down
And the voices tell you turn around
When your dreams give out,
I will carry you
Carry you
When the stars go blind
And the darkness starts to flow your eyes
When you've fallen behind
I will carry you
~*~*~*~*
Legolas's eyes closed again and the elf shivered slightly.
"I cannot go back there." He said sadly. "Can't go to Lorien…Can't go…can't go…home" The word came out painfully like a poison drawn from a wound. Though the elf was centuries older then his companion, for once is seemed as though Aragorn was the elder, like an older brother, comforting his sibling. Aragorn made sure that his tone had only compassion, no pity, as the elf would never take pity.
"We'll worry about you going home when we need to." He grew grim for a moment, saying, "I have a feeling that we still have a great adventure before us before we will be able to return home. As for Lorien, we will return, and I promise that everything will be fine. I Promise!"
~*~*~*~*~*~
You should know now that you're not alone
Take my heart
And we will find…
You will find…
Your way…
~*~*~*~*~
At the mentioned of Lorien, Legolas shivered and tried to curl up, but Aragorn held onto the lithe body, forcing Legolas to look at him.
"It will be painful," the man admitted, "To find peace with the horror within your past and those involved, but you do not fear pain, Prince Legolas of Mirkwood! You have endured, and will endure, and we will face it together!
~*~*~*~
When your dreams give out
I will carry you
Carry you
When the stars go blind
And the darkness starts to flow your eyes
When you've fallen behind
I will carry you
Carry you
Legolas dared look up at Aragorn's valiant words. The man had never broken a promise to him. Still, to curl up and sleep and never wake up….. The elf stared up again into the storm of Aragorn's eyes and knew that such a prospect was not an option.
I will carry you
Carry you
"Can't we wait a while?" The elf asked meekly. Aragorn nodded right away.
"We will let the initial wounds heal, will find some reason in this mad world first." The man replied, compassion in his tone. As a joke he added, "I don't think I could move anyway. You sure get around when you're upset." Legolas smiled weakly. "I think that this healing will also need to wait a little while. I've got nothing left. I'll just sleep for a few weeks, I promise."
I will carry you
Carry you
Almost immediately after speaking, Aragorn rolled himself farther away from the cliff, winked at Legolas, closed his eyes, and was instantaneously asleep. Legolas moved away from the cliff himself to a soft bed of moss that was near the man and looked at him, still too wound up to sleep. Somehow, he knew things would be alright….
I will carry you
Well, that's it for now,
There will be another chapter, ASAP
If you have time, I would suggest you look up an MP3 for "I will carry you" on the internet. It's a beautiful song. (Did I mention that Clay Aiken was cute?)
Please don't forget to press the nice review button ::points to review button::
By the way, I'm thinking about making either a sequel or a prequel to this story. I thought I'd ask the wonderful people I know as reviewers!!!
Should I make a prequel that goes into Luinelothiel's and Haldir's story more deeply?
Or
Should I make a sequel that takes place upon Legolas returning home from the war of the ring and his confrontation with his family? A sequel will also include some clips of Haldir and Lythian and their new life.
I'm probably end up doing both, but which should I do first? Take your pick!
Wind to thy wings,
LD