Hello Everyone!! :: ducks rotten tomatoes::
I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in so long, I've been busy as always and have had a terrible case of writer's block. I promise that the updates will become a little more frequent, as the term is ending soon!
Also, thank you so much for the reviews, they were lovely!!
Anyway,
I'm not going to babble on and on, I promise! Onward with the next chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with Lord of the Rings or any of the characters, though I do love them and wish that I did own them... Please don't sue me!
Halo of Tears,
Chapter 16
A Time for Healing
Legolas rolled over lazily on his back and faced the night sky with a thoughtful look on his face. Carefully, the elf tried to focus on the glorious stars and nothing else. Though he believed in his friend's word that all would solve itself in time, there was still a great deal of pain, and the elven prince did not think that he could handle it at the moment. Thinking of his friend, Legolas turned over once again and couldn't help but smile at the sleeping man a small ways away from him, sprawled out on a patch of moss. Aragorn's dark hair was covering his face and fluttered up and down occasionally when the man breathed.
Legolas assumed that he had been asleep for a day and back into the night, and hoped that it was not more, for the fellowship would worry about them if they were gone for too long. On the other hand, he had no desire to face what awaited him when he did have to return. Legolas had somehow managed to block everything off from his mind with the reassurance that he would address it later. This had allowed the elf to feel a sort of numbness with something harsh hanging on the end of it, similar to the feeling that Legolas got when his father's heady wine had taken the edge off of his senses. The billions of stars around the tranquil forest had an extremely calming effect, and Legolas went back to his study of them.
It was several minutes later when Aragorn finally awoke. The man groaned softly and then sat up, seeing Legolas lying flat on his back and watching the stars.
"Beautiful, aren't they?" Aragorn commented, moving towards his friend.
"Perfect" Legolas agreed absently mindedly. "Tis a shame that they will one day essentially kill themselves, imploding their energy into themselves." Aragorn had to grin at this.
"You've been in to those terrible scrolls of Rivendell that explains everything you would and wouldn't want to know about everything, haven't you?" the man accused good naturedly.
"Of course, they're very fascinating." Legolas said, still focusing on the stars. Aragorn could not help but grimace. It was only then that he realized that Legolas's referral to the stars was a grim analogy of his own situation.
"Mellon-nin, we must talk." He said seriously, sobering up. Legolas ignored him at first, and then slowly turned over to face him.
"Must we?" He asked, almost begging Aragorn to drop the subject before it started. Aragorn hated the almost pitiful look in the normally aloof prince's eyes, but he knew that he could not back down, for fear of further harm. He could not bring himself to speak, so he simply nodded. This experience was akin to drawing an arrow from a wound; painful but necessary; the healer is the torturer even though it is for the good of the one being hurt.
Aragorn was completely unsure of where to begin. He was a healer of the body and was supposed to also be one of the mind and heart, but that was a more difficult task that often took elves thousands of years to master.
"Talk" Aragorn finally said simply. Legolas turned to look at him, saying nothing. But somehow... somehow he felt as though he wanted to tell his friend everything, as though it might unburden him to speak his mind.
The first words came slowly, the elf faltering over names and adjectives.
"I thought that our family was perfect. something I could protect. but it.wasn't." Very slowly, the words became steadier, the speech less faltering, the elf gaining confidence. He began to talk normally, and found that he couldn't stop. It hurt him, took everything he had to speak, but it also felt wonderfully liberating to talk. He spoke of the past, the present, his memories, his feelings...
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was late, perhaps nearly midnight when Legolas finally became silent. His musical voice was tired, and he was totally mentally exhausted, but for the first time in days, he felt completely free. Not healed, not happy, but free. For the first time in days, he knew that he was going to be alright, he was going to heal, as were they all.
Aragorn was completely dumbfounded at what he had just heard, but at the same time, he also rejoiced at the peaceful expression on the elven prince's face as Legolas finished. The man had not had to offer a single comment for the hours of Legolas's explanations, only nods and frowns, a hand on his arm, a brief embrace, and a shoulder for the brief moments of tears. It had hurt him a great deal to listen to Legolas's narrative, though he knew it was only a fraction of the pain that Legolas had gone through to speak it. However, he knew that the hardest part was over, and the healing that would be commenced would be difficult, but less difficult then this for Legolas knew that he could do it, that he could and would find a way though it. For the first time that day, Aragorn offered commentary.
"We ought to do something purely physical. Perhaps a walk through the words back to our camp, where the.supplies reside?" It was then that the man's stomach gave a growl that demanded in no uncertain terms, a good meal. Legolas smiled slightly.
"You are hungry, ranger. How incompetent you are!" Aragorn laughed out right, partly in amusement, but mostly in the sheer joy of listening to his friend tease him. Legolas had gone from a wraith that was the exact opposite of himself to a shadow that was once again beginning to take the form of the beautiful creature.
"I give men a purpose in life." Aragorn retorted. "I keep them from making too many wars on each other. If farmers were not busy with their crops, they would become board and annoy such creatures such as your refined self, who are above the pettiness of enjoying oneself. You elves have nothing better to do then sit around and read dusty old scrolls, and look how pale you are from not getting enough healthy sun!"
Legolas grinned. "I get enough of the outdoors, thank you ranger. In fact, I believe that I am the superior in strength and endurance. And I'll prove it." With that, the elf took off like an arrow towards Lorien, leaving the ranger to attempt to catch up fruitlessly.
When he had achieved enough of a lead to thoroughly prove his point to the man, Legolas slowed a bit, allowing Aragorn to catch up with him.
"We don't have to. talk to anyone else today." Legolas trailed off, his sunny character changing swiftly. He was willing to bring himself back, but there was only so much that the elf could take. Aragorn shook his head.
"We have done enough for today, and we shall rest out the night." Legolas looked relieved enormously, but there was something more on his mind.
"Estel. I mean Aragorn?" He said, tensely.
"Yes Legolas?" Aragorn wondered why the elf was tripping over his elvish name.
"Thank you." The elf said, almost whispering. Though like all elves, Legolas was courteous, Aragorn knew that that simply statement had cost the elf a lot. To say it, he was admitting that he needed help and that a man had provided it to him rather the one of his own kind. The change of name had been significant, for Legolas could have almost justified Aragorn as an elf simply by using his given elvish name.
"You are welcome." Aragorn replied simply. "That is what friends are for." The two of them continued their easy run towards Lorien, enjoying the sounds of the forest and the beautiful starry night.
~*~*~*~
Haldir paced the audience chamber restlessly. He wished only to get back to the bedside of his beloved who was still deathly pale and breathing shallowly. She had come into consciousness for only a few moments earlier that day, spoken a few words, and then drifted into sleep. It was those few words that caused him to pace so restlessly.
"Love Legolas as I still do, for the love of a friend is even more pure that that for a lover."
Why had she spoken those cursed words? Did she really expect him to simply forgive and forget the fact that Legolas had almost killed his lover? How was she so tolerant? He was willing to make allowances for the younger elf, but to try to kill him.
Haldir's thoughts were interrupted by the voice of Celeborn and Galadriel who entered the chamber with little ceremony.
"Aragorn and Legolas will be returning soon." Galadriel said simply.
"Are you expecting me to welcome them with open arms?' Haldir asked raising his eyebrows, uncharacteristically sharp with his monarchs. Lady Galadriel walked over to him and put a hand on his arm gently.
"He meant no harm." She said it so quietly that Haldir had to strain to hear it, yet the power in it made him want to put his hands over his ears. However, it was not enough to quench his anger.
"He nearly killed Lythian!" His voice sounded hollow to the his own ears. It was nearly shouted, but there was little anger behind it; only sadness and guilt. Where am I getting guilt from? He wondered, puzzled by his own emotion. "He had rights to be upset." Celeborn said firmly. "I am not justifying that he should have acted violently, but it was instinct, and in that, you must forgive him for him to forgive himself.
"And should he forgive himself, for his violence?" his voice cracked, but he continued, "For the attempted murder of one who was supposed to be his friend. Surely he knows better!" Haldir demanded, shying away from Galadriel's hold on his arm.
"He had already forgiven himself for that, or Aragorn will have convinced him that he is not to blame. What he must forgive himself for is your dark past with the royal family a Mirkwood."
It was the first time that Galadriel had openly admitted his affair with Luinelothiel, and the first time that he was sure that she knew of it. Though he couldn't have thought that he could hide it from her, it had never occurred to him to find out if she knew of it. And yet another thought occurred to him.
Do I really value my own life that much? That knife was meant for me, not Lythian. Regardless, I have never hurt him. have I? Even such strong thoughts were not enough to throw off his opposition to his monarchs' point of view.
"And what business of that is his?" he was close to throwing a tantrum. He knew he was acting like a silly elfling, not a fraction of his age, but he didn't care.
"It is of no concern to him!"
"But it is," Celeborn replied, his voice as soft as Haldir's was loud. "He is a warrior of Mirkwood, one of high esteem if not the best. And he has found something that he cannot protect his family from, something that he cannot protect himself from. In a place where truth is held above everything else, he was the one living a lie. And for that, he cannot forgive himself. He lashed out at what he saw as what was plaguing his life. The knife would have gone to himself next."
These words struck the March Warden so hard that he himself had to sit down. In the beginning it had been him with the knife to his own flesh, him who was ready to kill himself, and the brave prince of Mirkwood himself had saved him from. himself. Now.
Haldir collapsed into a nearby chair heavily, sending something from one of his pockets clattering to the floor. He reached down to pick it up, and found it to be the knife that Legolas had given back to him only a few nights ago, the knife that he had gifted the prince at his crowning.
"Look not to the shadows of the past, but to the light of a bright future."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas and Aragorn ran through the edges of the forest, quickening their pace as they saw the brightness of dwellings that promised warm beds and food.
~*~*~*~*~
Haldir looked up from the inscription on the blade and realized that he been staring at the dagger for much longer then he had intended. The candles in the room had spluttered out, and the monarchs had long ago left, knowing that they had made impression enough on their March Warden. Slowly, Haldir stood up and made his way outside.
~*~*~*~*~ "A race to the camp!" Aragorn called to Legolas as they made their way out of the trees. Legolas only smiled back at the ranger and honed his easy run into a dead sprint as Aragorn did the same.
He sped over the land, keeping a pace that only the best of the elves in Mirkwood could achieve.
And ran directly into Haldir
I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in so long, I've been busy as always and have had a terrible case of writer's block. I promise that the updates will become a little more frequent, as the term is ending soon!
Also, thank you so much for the reviews, they were lovely!!
Anyway,
I'm not going to babble on and on, I promise! Onward with the next chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything having to do with Lord of the Rings or any of the characters, though I do love them and wish that I did own them... Please don't sue me!
Halo of Tears,
Chapter 16
A Time for Healing
Legolas rolled over lazily on his back and faced the night sky with a thoughtful look on his face. Carefully, the elf tried to focus on the glorious stars and nothing else. Though he believed in his friend's word that all would solve itself in time, there was still a great deal of pain, and the elven prince did not think that he could handle it at the moment. Thinking of his friend, Legolas turned over once again and couldn't help but smile at the sleeping man a small ways away from him, sprawled out on a patch of moss. Aragorn's dark hair was covering his face and fluttered up and down occasionally when the man breathed.
Legolas assumed that he had been asleep for a day and back into the night, and hoped that it was not more, for the fellowship would worry about them if they were gone for too long. On the other hand, he had no desire to face what awaited him when he did have to return. Legolas had somehow managed to block everything off from his mind with the reassurance that he would address it later. This had allowed the elf to feel a sort of numbness with something harsh hanging on the end of it, similar to the feeling that Legolas got when his father's heady wine had taken the edge off of his senses. The billions of stars around the tranquil forest had an extremely calming effect, and Legolas went back to his study of them.
It was several minutes later when Aragorn finally awoke. The man groaned softly and then sat up, seeing Legolas lying flat on his back and watching the stars.
"Beautiful, aren't they?" Aragorn commented, moving towards his friend.
"Perfect" Legolas agreed absently mindedly. "Tis a shame that they will one day essentially kill themselves, imploding their energy into themselves." Aragorn had to grin at this.
"You've been in to those terrible scrolls of Rivendell that explains everything you would and wouldn't want to know about everything, haven't you?" the man accused good naturedly.
"Of course, they're very fascinating." Legolas said, still focusing on the stars. Aragorn could not help but grimace. It was only then that he realized that Legolas's referral to the stars was a grim analogy of his own situation.
"Mellon-nin, we must talk." He said seriously, sobering up. Legolas ignored him at first, and then slowly turned over to face him.
"Must we?" He asked, almost begging Aragorn to drop the subject before it started. Aragorn hated the almost pitiful look in the normally aloof prince's eyes, but he knew that he could not back down, for fear of further harm. He could not bring himself to speak, so he simply nodded. This experience was akin to drawing an arrow from a wound; painful but necessary; the healer is the torturer even though it is for the good of the one being hurt.
Aragorn was completely unsure of where to begin. He was a healer of the body and was supposed to also be one of the mind and heart, but that was a more difficult task that often took elves thousands of years to master.
"Talk" Aragorn finally said simply. Legolas turned to look at him, saying nothing. But somehow... somehow he felt as though he wanted to tell his friend everything, as though it might unburden him to speak his mind.
The first words came slowly, the elf faltering over names and adjectives.
"I thought that our family was perfect. something I could protect. but it.wasn't." Very slowly, the words became steadier, the speech less faltering, the elf gaining confidence. He began to talk normally, and found that he couldn't stop. It hurt him, took everything he had to speak, but it also felt wonderfully liberating to talk. He spoke of the past, the present, his memories, his feelings...
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was late, perhaps nearly midnight when Legolas finally became silent. His musical voice was tired, and he was totally mentally exhausted, but for the first time in days, he felt completely free. Not healed, not happy, but free. For the first time in days, he knew that he was going to be alright, he was going to heal, as were they all.
Aragorn was completely dumbfounded at what he had just heard, but at the same time, he also rejoiced at the peaceful expression on the elven prince's face as Legolas finished. The man had not had to offer a single comment for the hours of Legolas's explanations, only nods and frowns, a hand on his arm, a brief embrace, and a shoulder for the brief moments of tears. It had hurt him a great deal to listen to Legolas's narrative, though he knew it was only a fraction of the pain that Legolas had gone through to speak it. However, he knew that the hardest part was over, and the healing that would be commenced would be difficult, but less difficult then this for Legolas knew that he could do it, that he could and would find a way though it. For the first time that day, Aragorn offered commentary.
"We ought to do something purely physical. Perhaps a walk through the words back to our camp, where the.supplies reside?" It was then that the man's stomach gave a growl that demanded in no uncertain terms, a good meal. Legolas smiled slightly.
"You are hungry, ranger. How incompetent you are!" Aragorn laughed out right, partly in amusement, but mostly in the sheer joy of listening to his friend tease him. Legolas had gone from a wraith that was the exact opposite of himself to a shadow that was once again beginning to take the form of the beautiful creature.
"I give men a purpose in life." Aragorn retorted. "I keep them from making too many wars on each other. If farmers were not busy with their crops, they would become board and annoy such creatures such as your refined self, who are above the pettiness of enjoying oneself. You elves have nothing better to do then sit around and read dusty old scrolls, and look how pale you are from not getting enough healthy sun!"
Legolas grinned. "I get enough of the outdoors, thank you ranger. In fact, I believe that I am the superior in strength and endurance. And I'll prove it." With that, the elf took off like an arrow towards Lorien, leaving the ranger to attempt to catch up fruitlessly.
When he had achieved enough of a lead to thoroughly prove his point to the man, Legolas slowed a bit, allowing Aragorn to catch up with him.
"We don't have to. talk to anyone else today." Legolas trailed off, his sunny character changing swiftly. He was willing to bring himself back, but there was only so much that the elf could take. Aragorn shook his head.
"We have done enough for today, and we shall rest out the night." Legolas looked relieved enormously, but there was something more on his mind.
"Estel. I mean Aragorn?" He said, tensely.
"Yes Legolas?" Aragorn wondered why the elf was tripping over his elvish name.
"Thank you." The elf said, almost whispering. Though like all elves, Legolas was courteous, Aragorn knew that that simply statement had cost the elf a lot. To say it, he was admitting that he needed help and that a man had provided it to him rather the one of his own kind. The change of name had been significant, for Legolas could have almost justified Aragorn as an elf simply by using his given elvish name.
"You are welcome." Aragorn replied simply. "That is what friends are for." The two of them continued their easy run towards Lorien, enjoying the sounds of the forest and the beautiful starry night.
~*~*~*~
Haldir paced the audience chamber restlessly. He wished only to get back to the bedside of his beloved who was still deathly pale and breathing shallowly. She had come into consciousness for only a few moments earlier that day, spoken a few words, and then drifted into sleep. It was those few words that caused him to pace so restlessly.
"Love Legolas as I still do, for the love of a friend is even more pure that that for a lover."
Why had she spoken those cursed words? Did she really expect him to simply forgive and forget the fact that Legolas had almost killed his lover? How was she so tolerant? He was willing to make allowances for the younger elf, but to try to kill him.
Haldir's thoughts were interrupted by the voice of Celeborn and Galadriel who entered the chamber with little ceremony.
"Aragorn and Legolas will be returning soon." Galadriel said simply.
"Are you expecting me to welcome them with open arms?' Haldir asked raising his eyebrows, uncharacteristically sharp with his monarchs. Lady Galadriel walked over to him and put a hand on his arm gently.
"He meant no harm." She said it so quietly that Haldir had to strain to hear it, yet the power in it made him want to put his hands over his ears. However, it was not enough to quench his anger.
"He nearly killed Lythian!" His voice sounded hollow to the his own ears. It was nearly shouted, but there was little anger behind it; only sadness and guilt. Where am I getting guilt from? He wondered, puzzled by his own emotion. "He had rights to be upset." Celeborn said firmly. "I am not justifying that he should have acted violently, but it was instinct, and in that, you must forgive him for him to forgive himself.
"And should he forgive himself, for his violence?" his voice cracked, but he continued, "For the attempted murder of one who was supposed to be his friend. Surely he knows better!" Haldir demanded, shying away from Galadriel's hold on his arm.
"He had already forgiven himself for that, or Aragorn will have convinced him that he is not to blame. What he must forgive himself for is your dark past with the royal family a Mirkwood."
It was the first time that Galadriel had openly admitted his affair with Luinelothiel, and the first time that he was sure that she knew of it. Though he couldn't have thought that he could hide it from her, it had never occurred to him to find out if she knew of it. And yet another thought occurred to him.
Do I really value my own life that much? That knife was meant for me, not Lythian. Regardless, I have never hurt him. have I? Even such strong thoughts were not enough to throw off his opposition to his monarchs' point of view.
"And what business of that is his?" he was close to throwing a tantrum. He knew he was acting like a silly elfling, not a fraction of his age, but he didn't care.
"It is of no concern to him!"
"But it is," Celeborn replied, his voice as soft as Haldir's was loud. "He is a warrior of Mirkwood, one of high esteem if not the best. And he has found something that he cannot protect his family from, something that he cannot protect himself from. In a place where truth is held above everything else, he was the one living a lie. And for that, he cannot forgive himself. He lashed out at what he saw as what was plaguing his life. The knife would have gone to himself next."
These words struck the March Warden so hard that he himself had to sit down. In the beginning it had been him with the knife to his own flesh, him who was ready to kill himself, and the brave prince of Mirkwood himself had saved him from. himself. Now.
Haldir collapsed into a nearby chair heavily, sending something from one of his pockets clattering to the floor. He reached down to pick it up, and found it to be the knife that Legolas had given back to him only a few nights ago, the knife that he had gifted the prince at his crowning.
"Look not to the shadows of the past, but to the light of a bright future."
~*~*~*~*~*~
Legolas and Aragorn ran through the edges of the forest, quickening their pace as they saw the brightness of dwellings that promised warm beds and food.
~*~*~*~*~
Haldir looked up from the inscription on the blade and realized that he been staring at the dagger for much longer then he had intended. The candles in the room had spluttered out, and the monarchs had long ago left, knowing that they had made impression enough on their March Warden. Slowly, Haldir stood up and made his way outside.
~*~*~*~*~ "A race to the camp!" Aragorn called to Legolas as they made their way out of the trees. Legolas only smiled back at the ranger and honed his easy run into a dead sprint as Aragorn did the same.
He sped over the land, keeping a pace that only the best of the elves in Mirkwood could achieve.
And ran directly into Haldir