Well…I feel no better, but since I didn't go to school today…(let's just say an unpleasant experience this morning) I'm typing up another chapter. Let's hope it satisfies. And three cheers for two updates in two days!
Risty- Useless facts are greatness!! Yay fur useless facts!! You enjoyed the song fic? You enjoyed MY songfic? *falls over* I…feel…honored…as fur the jokes, no worries, even I don't always get all the jokes…but a lot of what the Worms sing is poking fun. Meh.
Taineyah – The Logan-Storm thing came to me outta nowhere, but glad you likeyed.
Jassie – I must be one of the few who never heard of the Worms before Tainz recommended 'em to me…updates are always gut. The lynch mob…heh heh…I had half a mind to let 'em disembowel Ray…but then this wouldn't be rated…whatever it's rated…And Pyro and I are…very similar…And poor Prof…I couldn't think about what the fudge I was gonna do with him and his companion…so…improvisation!
Millenium mutant – I'm glad you don't think I've gypped you…I still feel like I have though…
The RP – I hope I feel better too…and glad you like the chapter and songs!
psychobunny410 - Ummm…no…I didn't! I know the Hart family is from Canada…but that's the extent of mein wrestling knowledge…
rogueandkurt – You return!! Repeat reviewers are always welcome. ^_^ Umm…Sarnia…I shall remember never again to bash Sarnia…but they bashed Calgary too…that irks me…really irks me…
Freakish Fangirl – Winterpeg!! Wheee hee hee hee!! Actullay…wile I'd love to put 'em there smack dab in the middle of winter…but wait…I did say no particular timeline…*evil smile* X2 is out!! WOOOO!! I waaaant it!! I really waaaant it! But I'm tapped fur cash, so onto mein Christmas list it goes…*sniffle* I only got to see it once…AND JAMIE'S NAME MADE A CAMEO!! Yes, the Institute scenes were filmed in Vancouver…*would love to be an extra…absolutely love it* I think they were…
animeluvr1 – I thought you knew I'd updated!! Ooops…I'll tell you about this update…but generally…it's an every other week thing…Hockey!! GWAAAH!! SO MUCH TO DO IN ALBERIA!! I do indeed wonder why…but then…I like Evan, so perhaps I shouldn't talk…and they make vehicles fur paralyzed peeps, I know cuz there's a guy who works with mein mom and he drives, (he's a paraplegic) and Rick Mercer is a real person! He's real I say! Real!!
sir crazy gurl – Drumheller's awesome…and I've got fossils in mein basement! Ammonites of course, but still!! Fossils!!If you succeed, please make sure Evo gets a fifth season…
Panther – heh heh…I always go overboard with Canadian cracks…cuz I can and it's fun! ^_^ Anarchy is fun…and anarchy is an awesomness word!! Anarchy…heh heh. Well…there's somethin' goin' round…stupid bug…*grumbles* I call it Spinny Room Sickness!
Shawshank – Hmmm…mixed reviews. They made it to Manitoba…and beyond! BWAH HA HA!! And yes…the Arrogant Worms are awesomness…gotta love 'em. George Dubya might be able to learn a few things…
Gwaaah…meh…Chapter…time…must live to…finish…must start in order to…finish…gwaah…
"It's s-s-so d-d-damn c-c-cold!!" Jubilee shivered.
"No it's not." Bobby stood, quite comfortable iced up.
"Speak f-f-for yourself P-p-popsic-c-cle!" Kitty would have hit Bobby, but that meant pulling one of her arms free, and losing valuable body heat.
"It's quite warm over here." Amara stood, in all her molten glory.
"Move over!" Ray jostled Sam and Lance to get closer to Amara.
"It is not at all cold little ones." Piotr said, obviously quite accustomed to the fifteen degrees Celsius.
"I can fix this!" Pyro flicked his lighter, and before long there was a giant bonfire. The mutants all huddled around it.
"I'm meeellltiiing!! I'm meeeeltiiiiing!!" Bobby began to create a small puddle.
Two nearby campers shook their heads. Roasting marshmallows over their modest campfire, they were quietly observing the small group.
"Poor Yanks. They never know what to expect, eh?"
"Too true. They should know that they're not in Kansas any more!" Her companion slapped at a mosquito on her bare arm. "Should we point 'em towards the city?"
"Be the nice thing t' do."
"So I guess the question becomes…are we nice, eh?"
"Who are y' kiddin'? We're Canadian! Course we're nice!"
"I dunno, I've seen some pretty mean right hooks comin' from Canadians…"
"Not from either of us, let's at least offer 'em some marshmallows, eh?"
"Give 'em the directions. Ruther give 'em those then the marshmallows." With that, the two campers got off their logs, and approached the mutants.
"If y' be wantin' t' get t' Winnipeg, it's in that direction, eh?"
"Oh…umm…Thanks…" Scott looked sheepishly at Jean, who glared.
"I told you we were supposed to be heading west!!" Jean stormed back into the van, and the other mutants were not far behind her.
"Didja get 'em Swamp Rat?" Remy nodded, happily, and tossed the bag of marshmallows he'd filched from the two campers towards Rogue, Rahne, and Wanda. Evan made a grab for several, and was immediately hexed.
"Stay outta dere way mon ami. A good lesson, never get between a femme and her sugar." Evan nodded best he could, stuck under the seat as he was.
"Aren't ya gonna help me get out?" He asked, as it was very uncomfortable.
"Mebbe after they've forgiven y' y'r slight."
"This, is Winnipeg?!?" Tabitha looked slightly disappointed by the apparent lack of obvious shopping malls.
"It is only a short stop-over on our way to Regina." Xavier was examining a map that was spread before him. The male portion of the mutants sniggered. (AN: They are very very immature…to say the least) "Is there something wrong boys?" They shook their heads. "As I said, as soon as a route is found, we shall be on our way to Regina-" More sniggering. "On our way to Regina and-" The boys burst out laughing. Except for Jamie.
"What's so funny?" He asked.
"I too would like to be let in on the joke." Xavier examined his class critically. The male half were busting their guts, while the female portion seemed poised to join them. Or strangle them. Or both.
"I-i-it's nothing P-p-professor!! Ab-b-bsolutely n-n-nothing!!" Roberto managed to choke out. Xavier gave them a funny look.
"Well, there seems to be a game of minor interest. Two NHL teams are going to be playing at one of Winnipeg's local rinks as a fundraiser. I'm sure Mr. McCoy, Mr. Logan and Mr. ah…Sabretooth would be happy to take you all." Logan and Hank's frantic efforts to cut the Professor off failed, and were ready to die when he announced their sentence.
"Oh great! More hockey!" Bobby remembered his last encounter with the sport most painfully.
"What happened?" Jean asked, slightly…uninformed.
"Ummm…a slap shot…t' parts where nae puck should ever go…" Rahne offered.
"Into the goal?" A light bulb suddenly appeared over Jean's head. "Ooooh! Ouch…"
"Jawohl." Kurt affirmed.
"We. Are. Doomed." Hank sighed, and began to travel towards the rink.
~~~~~~~~~~~(Look at the amazing curvy line! Whee!!!)~~~~~~~~~
"You like Logan?!? I mean…jeez…" Magneto was still unbelievably amazed by this amazing revelation. "I need another joint." Chucky the Beaver wandered away for a moment, and returned with a chip in one of his oversized yellow incisors.
"Ummm…I'm gonna assume that that is not a good thing." Mystique looked at the now whimpering beaver. There came a honk from the back of the pack.
"What is it Gertrude?" Magneto asked in a dazed manner.
"You named the goose Gertrude?" Mystique gave Magneto a very odd look indeed.
"Gertrude named herself. And she says that we're north." As if to emphasize his point, Mystique suddenly slipped and fell on her butt.
"How. Far. North?" She hissed.
"Far enough that we can see a polar bear." Magneto responded absent-mindedly.
"I don't see any polar bear!! All I see are midget seals!! Heeey…these things would make amazing slippers…" Mystique pulled a club from a nearby tree, and was about to hit the baby harp seal over the head with the branch. She looked into his eyes, and he looked back. Mystique dropped the club, hitting Magneto over the head and bent down. "Awww!! How could I kill you!! I shall call thee Harvey! And Harvey thee shall be known as!" Mystique cuddled the newly christened Harvey.
"Owww…what about Magneto? Or Looogan?"
"Harvey is all that matters now!"
"Umm…what about that polar bear?" Mystique opened her eyes, and found herself looking into a pair of black eyes, with a black nose just below.
"He matters not! I have my Harvey!" Mystique returned to cuddling. The polar bear sniffed her and Harvey. The polar bear looked at Chucky, Magnus, and Gertrude, who all shrugged.
"We should head south…" Magneto said…as if it didn't really matter.
"Yes…we should…" Mystique was still busy cuddling Harvey.
"Let's go." Magneto hauled Mystique to her feet.
"You have a cute little nose, and two little eyes! And I shall teach you to swim. And how to catch fish. And how to sneak into Xavier's mansion. And…" Mystique continued to ramble on. Magneto sighed. He was the responsible one now. Not a good thing. Not good at all. At least he still had a supply of weed.
"Ummm…I shall call you…" Magneto searched his brain for a name for the polar bear, who was now following them. "Peach!" Magneto continued to walk, happily in his little drug induced state.
~~~~~~~~~~~~(Is this line not amazingly hypnotic?)~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Flaaaaames!!" Pyro continued his mantra.
"This isn't an NHL team!! The Flames are in the toilet!! They always have been!!" Ray was incredibly annoyed with the game.
"I never knew he was a hockey buff…" Jean whispered to Wanda.
"What's worse…Fred and Todd are both huge supporters…" Wanda whispered back.
"If the Flames are in the toilet, how is it they are winning?" Kurt pointed out, mostly to antagonize Ray.
"Because the Senators' management couldn't manage their way out of a telephone booth!" Ray shouted. The Calgary Flames scored, and Pyro, in his excitement flicked his lighter, and created a huge fireball.
"GO FLAMES GO!! WAH HA HA HA!!" He laughed insanely. Scott tried to leap out of the way of the rapidly expanding fireball, but was a tad too slow and got his hair singed. And when I say singed, I mean Pyro burnt it all off. Pietro was also in the way, but he is never too slow…except when he's running from Wanda. Anyway, Scott found himself looking very much like his idol, and Pietro was busy apologizing frantically to Rogue. As he had jumped into her lap.
"PYRO!!" Scott leaped towards the pyromaniac, in an attempt to strangle him.
"I'm gonna go get some beer." Logan got up and left in a huge rush. Sabretooth was not far behind him.
"I think I need some popcorn. I really want some popcorn right now." Hank glanced at the mutants. "Scott! Jean! You're in charge!" Hank exit stage right.
"Hey!! I have an idea!" Kurt suddenly brightened. Bobby, Jubilee, and Tabitha all looked at him with intense interest. "Let's go get the mascot costumes…" an evil grin followed.
"Does anyone else find this like, totally boring?" Kitty yawned, and Ray, Todd, and Fred shot her an evil glare, too absorbed in the game to care. The buzzer sounded.
"That's the first period break folks! And now, please welcome the mascots!!" The announcer announced. Kurt smiled, his eyes once again glowing in the dark hallway, shoved the still fighting Mr. Military and Pyro out onto the ice. They were decked out in the two team's mascot costumes. Pyro cackled evilly inside the Harvey the Hound costume, while Scott was still attempting strangulation with the cumbersome Sens mascot costume.
"Where's our costumes!!" A man in his boxers suddenly came rushing out, followed by another in a similar predicament.
"And who put the fireworks in 'em?" Kurt bamfed out, while his co-conspirators snuck back into their seats.
"Is that Scott?" Jean asked, squinting to make out the figure. Kurt & Company gave the innocent looks, which had been perfected several times over. "Oh my God!! It is Scott!!"
"Do not use the Lord's name in vain!" Kurt admonished, looking absolutely shocked.
"I've got to help him!" Jean floated down to the ice, and telekinetically separated the two. Taking them back to their seats, she seated them firmly down, and refused to let them move. "Serves you both right for stealing the mascot costumes and fighting down there on the field!"
"Rink, rink! Can't you people get anything right?!?" Ray was sitting on the edge of his seat, eagerly awaiting the teams to return.
"Ah think yah takin' this a tad too seriously Ray…" Sam began, and was hushed by Todd.
"They're comin' back out onto the ice yo!"
"Shut yer yaps if y' not gonna cheer!" Fred said, waving a fist blindly.
"Hey…you bunch, come down with me…" Sam, Rahne, Piotr, Roberto, Remy, and Jamie did the 'Who, me?' look, and followed the man in a suit out of the spectator area. "How would you like to take part in an intermission game?"
"Uhhh…sure…" Sam answered for the group.
"Alright, here's what you do…"
"ARRRGH!! How can the Flames be winning 3-2?" Ray was just about ready to pull his hair out, and even Todd and Fred looked stressed.
"Flaaames…" Pyro chanted dazedly.
"Everybody give a warm round of applause for our participants in the Audience Game!! In the Flames uniforms, we have six people from the left side of the rink, and in the Senators uniforms, six from the right side!! In goal for the Flames is P-Pio-Peter!! In goal for the Sens is Ken! Here's the faceoff…"
The game began with Roberto looking a mean-looking Canuck/Winninpeg native in the eye. The referee dropped the puck.
'This is vaguely familiar…' Sam thought as Roberto lost the face-off, and the Senators uniform came straight at him. It suddenly hit him how, and he cannonballed out of the way of the slap-shot. Piotr looked at the puck as it bounced off his now metal chest.
"Well! Folks this is an interesting twist as the Flames goalie appears to be a mutant!! As is their left winger! What an interesting turn of events…let's see what the Senators can do! Peter has become a metal monolith, and is filling that net!! Nothing's gonna be getting through him!" Jamie was knocked down by a passing player, and the ref blew their whistle. "And now! The Flames are being called for having too many players on the ice at once! Well, this is most certainly stacking the odds against the Senators, can the still win?" Remy was leaning idly on his hockey stick, not paying any attention to the puck, and promptly fell on his butt when Rahne blew past him fighting a Senator for the puck.
"Merde! Nobody does dat to Gambit!" Getting up, Remy tried to run, and failed miserably, falling down three more times.
"Skate Mr. LeBeau, don't run, skate!" Jamie slid by, trying to avoid being bumped again, and still offering what he considered to be helpful advice to the currently clumsy Cajun. Another buzzer rang.
"And that is it folks!! The game ends in a tie!! With Peter filling the Flames' net, making it impossible to score, and the Flames themselves obviously not skaters…well, this is one for the record books!"
"Did we win?" Sam asked, rubbing his head from the sudden meeting with the boards.
"Nay, come on Sam. Time to get off the ice. Slowly." Rahne offered a hand to help Sam up.
"Sure, de femme helps her homme, but no help is offered to Gambit." Remy struggled to keep a grip on the boards, and to stay upright.
"Come comrade! It is not that difficult!" Piotr took Remy's hand, and lifted him clear of the ice.
"Et tu?" Remy asked, seeing Roberto in a similar predicament. The Russian carried both easily, and skated off into the dark hallway.
"You two just have no practice. It's easy once you get the hang of it!" Jamie skated by, and tripped over the mat in the hallway.
"So, how was the game?" Xavier asked, as his charges returned.
"Absolutely horrible!!" Ray moaned.
"The worst ever!" Fred offered.
"I've seen better garbage in mah lunch yo!" Todd clambered into the van.
"The Flames won 4-3." Lance offered as explanation.
"And that is a bad thing?" Xavier raised an eyebrow. Lance shrugged. "Scott! What happened?!?" Scott grumbled something that sounded like 'Allerdyce'…or it could have been 'All yer mice'…but that would make no sense.
"Well, I have found the shortest route to Regina-" More snickers. "And have left very clear directions, so I expect to be there by morning. Yes, we will be traveling overnight, but we are running out of time if we expect to arrive in Alberta in time. I expect drivers to switch off when one begins to get tired. Lance, I'm sure you can trust your jeep to Piotr long enough for you to get some sleep, and Jean, you'll trade with Tabitha. She'll be joining us in our van, while Kitty goes to Hank's van. And no, Kitty, you will NOT be driving. Kurt and Hank are driving. Logan, Ororo, I trust you can handle yourselves?" Logan and Ororo glared at each other.
~~~~(Ummm…making up for lack of Magneto and Mystique last chap…)~~~
"You are now leaving Nun-a-vut…Nunavut…What the hell is Nunavut?"
"I'll have Nunavut!! Absolutely Nunavut!" Mystique shouted.
"Uhhh…pardon?" Magneto was only slightly confused.
"I said…I'll. Have. None. Of. It. Understand?" Mystique enunciated each word carefully and slowly. Magneto shook his head, and looked at the joint he was holding in his hand.
'This stuff is definitely beginning to affect my brain…'
"If we're leaving Nunavut…what are we entering?" Mystique wondered, still snuggling Harvey.
"The Northwest Territories." Magneto responded promptly. Mystique gave him a funny look. "I want to rule the world, so I have to know what all the districts of the countries are called, right?" Mystique gave him another odd look. Harvey joined in. So did Bucky, Magnus, Gertrude and Peach. "Just trust me, okay?" He sighed.
"He's been on drugs, and was whining about his bucket, and now he asks me to trust him…what do you think Harvey?" Mystique rubbed Harvey's nose, and Harvey spit all over her. "I agree. Lead on fearless leader!!" Magneto sighed, and continued to walk on.
~~~(Okay…so not really making it up…just wanted to write that…)~~~~~
"So what are we trying to do again?" Kitty asked. Kurt sighed, and explained it again.
"Ve are trying to get as much off this stuff on a single chip!" He held up one of the seven containers of dip. "Ve each have one chance, and whoever has the least dip left in their little…container…vins."
"What do we do with the rest of the dip and chips then?" Amara asked, gesturing to the jumbo sized bag of chips.
"Eat 'em! What else? Can we start now? Can we? Pleaase?!?" Jamie began to beg.
"That's not how to be annoying kid. Thisishowyouactannoying!" Pietro began to talk at warp speed. He was pelted with empty food containers. "Stopit!!StopitStopitStopitStopit!!! I've stopped! See?" Jamie looked at Pietro all starry eyed.
"Teach me oh great one!!" He began to worship.
"That's nothing." Kurt countered. He began to wave his tail in front of Kitty's face. She brushed it away. He waved it some more. She brushed it away again. This continued until Kitty exploded.
"KURT!! GET YOUR DAMN TAIL OUTTA MY FACE!!"
"See? That's how you are annoying." Kurt sat back with a very smug look plastered on his face. "Now, let's begin vith the contest!" Kurt popped the top on two of the containers, and Amara opened the bag of chips. Pietro opened the rest before Kurt could say 'Verdammt'.
Kurt took the biggest chip he could get his hand on, and began to pile on the dip. Jamie followed suit, as did Pietro, at warp speed. Kitty picked up the chip, and began to put on the vegetarian dip she had picked out. Before long, the dip was piled high. The only two left in the game were Roberto and Kurt. Kurt, because of his 0-talent with all things pertaining to food and or eating, and Roberto because he refused to lose. Kurt scraped the last bit of dip out of his container, just as Roberto's chip broke.
"Aww man!"
"A ha!! I vin! Whooo hoo!!" Kurt celebrated by chomping down on his chip.
"Would you like some chips with that dip?" Amara asked, offering Kurt the bag. She, Jamie, Kitty, Ray, and Pietro had all been contentedly munching away at their chips and dip for the past two minutes.
"Ja!" Kurt reached for the chips, and went for some dip. "Awww…Amara…can I…?"
"No."
"Pietro?"
"Nuh uh."
"Ray?"
"You had yours!"
"'Berto?"
"Nope, I don't have 'nuff left to share!"
"Jamie…?"
"I didn't have any to share in the first place." The four Jamies were munching away.
"Kit?"
"Of course! I'm like, so glad you're finally interested in you health Kurt!" Kitty offered the veggie dip, and Kurt made a face.
"Row row row your boat! Gently down the stream!" Tabitha, Bobby, Jubilee, and Pyro were all happily singing the round. Over and over and over and over again.
"Will they every stop…?" Scott murmered.
"I've tried…they won't!" Jean cried. Xavier snored on oblivious to all. Sam was silently playing solitaire.
"Sam! How can you stand it?" Scott shouted.
"Hmmm? Are you talking to me? Sorry." Sam popped out his ear plugs. "What?" Scott groaned, Sam shrugged, and the rest sang.
"All bets carry over!" Rahne remained firm and absolute. "Any cheating, and ye're disqualified! Immediately!! Do I be makin' myself clear?" Wanda grumbled.
"Dat's not fair!! Gambit t'ought we were startin' new bets! I wanna change m' numbers!"
"No! Ye lost on the rice, an' that be final! Whatever made ye bet that we'd hit rice anyway? Rice don't grow in North America!" Remy groaned.
Lance eyed Piotr warily. Fred and Todd looked at each other, daring each to be the first. Piotr only looked ahead.
"Someone fess up!" Lance suddenly shouted.
"Yo da losah!" Todd clamped his mouth over.
"Whoever smellt it dealt it!" Fred crowed.
"Whoever said the rhyme did the crime!" Lance shot back. Piotr let a small smile slip over his face.
Wheee!! Another chapter done!! And I'm off to sleep!! I certainly hope I feel better tom…cuz I can't miss any more school!! I'm already screwed as it is!! *is deadly serious* Wheee! I'm gonna fail everything now!! Wooo!! Watch me!! Meh, well, anyway, I suggest you go check out yet another joint fic I'm doing, this time with Cheesy Monkey. It's on her account, and was named, in a moment of brilliance, Cocoa Puffs. Check it out! I dare ye!
Chaotic Boredom