A/N: Another Legolas/Aragorn fic? Well, yes. Why? Well, I'm addicted.
Song lyrics: Everything - Misia
Disclaimer: No I don't own them or they had been cannon!
This fic takes place after Aragorn and Arwen have married and Legolas is at home (Mirkwoord that is).
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EVERYTHING
He should've known it could never be more than a dream.
Legolas was laying on his back in the damp grass, watching the morning sky change it's colour from dark blue to an orange type of colour.
His life was as unending as the sky. As endless as the stars, as eternal as the sun and the moon...
And yet, in his neverending life he met him. The chances he would ever meet such a person were so small, but yet he had.
*I met you by chance in the midst of passing time*
He had fallen for the man, at the very first sight, at the very first look in his eyes, at the very first touch of his hand. Although it all had been briefly and meaningless contact for the man, perhaps, but to him it was a wonder, a miracle.
*It's amazing, isn't it? That such a miracle should be so close by*
The sky above him had changed into a light, pale blue colour. The sun had switched places with the moon and a gentle breeze played with the grass and leafes. All was peacefull, quiet and yet to be waken. Legolas mostly enjoyed his time alone, talking to and misunderstanding no other but himself.
And he misunderstood his weakness, for he was longing again. Longing to see the man again. But time had passed, it had been three years without any sight or message from him. *Still missing you, the time passes and I can't see you*
He got up slowely, his clothes wet from the damp grass and his hair messed up. He walked back to where he lived, his eyes cast down on the path that led him there. Thoughts that were lingering inside his head, he cursed, but they did not move. The picture of Aragorn and Arwen, kissing, while he, Legolas, was standing and smiling in the crowd. He remembered it so well, how both of them had laughed and he just smiled at them. He couldn't recall what had made him smile.
*Slipping through the door, I remember once again
You laughing with that person*
Perhaps it was the thought or the dream that it was not Arwen being kissed, but him.
He entered his room, not wanting to go back to sleep but not wanting to stay up either. He sat down in front of his desk and started to write a letter. For a letter would not give him the pain he recalled from looking in the man's eyes, a letter would not make him nervous, a letter would not break his heart in two, a letter would not make his words stumble and a letter would not show the man how weak he was in fact.
But if he got a letter in return, he would be reminded to these facts again. He would be reminded that there was pain, nervousity, heartbreaking, stumbling and weakness with him. He would be reminded that he had never the courage to go to the man instead of writing him a letter and waiting for one in return.
He stopped and put his quill down. He would send the letter this day, would wait for one in return and would visit the man. He would not only take enough with one letter.
That evening, the letter was posted and Legolas was back in his room, preparing to go to sleep. He never really needed sleep, Elves could even walk while sleeping, they could even have their eyes opened during sleep, but tonight was different. He needed sleep because he needed something to fill his day with.
As he lay down, memories again filled his already troubled mind. A tear escaped his eye and he closed his eyes. *My beloved, please don't make me sad
There are nights when I cry myself to sleep*
And he did got a letter in return. It didn't contain as many words as he wanted it to contain, but it contained the invitation he had hoped for.
As he entered the citadel of Minas Tirith, Legolas felt his heart race even faster as the horse he had rode to get here. The moment Aragorn came walking towards him he felt as if the ground faded under his feet, as if the air was robbed from his reach, as if his heart was unable to beat and the right words did not escape his lips.
"I'm glad to see you again, we have had so small time to talk about our victory," Aragorn began, but Legolas did not hear the parts that followed after it. He was enchanted by the man's face.
*Don't look at the past, just look at me*
They had sat down in Aragorn's private quarters, there was no sign of Arwen.
"Where is Arwen?" Legolas asked.
"She's in Rivendell, she's visiting Elrond. I did not join her because of you visiting today," Aragorn answered, pouring in two glasses of wine.
"That is very nice of you, but you could've joined her and I could've come another day," replied Legolas, not meaning any word of it.
"No, I couldn't have. We haven't seen for such a long time, this is more important to me than visiting Elrond for the third time this month," Aragorn handed him the glass of wine.
*You're everything, you're everything*
Legolas' heart skipped a beat. So the man rather wanted to talk to him than to join Arwen and Elrond in one of their wise and interesting conversations?
"Tell me, have you been avoiding me?" Legolas suddenly asked, he didn't know where he got the courage from to do so.
"Avoi- what do you think? Of course not, I just have been ... busy, lately. It's not such a small task, ruling Gondor," Aragorn replied quickly.
"Tell me the truth, Aragorn," Legolas demanded, taking a zip of his wine.
*I'm stronger than you think
I don't want any kind lies
All I want is you *
"I have been avoiding you, then," Aragorn sighed unusually.
"But why?" Legolas asked bemused.
"I have my reasons for doing so, let's not discuss them now."
Legolas cast his eyes down at the ground, unwillingly to look up at the man's face again. He had to live with this forever. He had to live with the knowledge they could never be forever. He didn't want to live forever. He didn't want to live forever to know that the man he loved avoided him and loved someone else. He did not want forever at all.
He only wanted forever if it was a forever together with the man.
But maybe all of his forever with this man had already been spent. *How long a time can be called forever?*
"And you, have you been avoiding me?" asked Aragorn in return.
Legolas shook his head, his eyes still on the ground. He returned his gaze back to Aragorn's face. "I have not been avoiding you, I have been avoiding the awful moments that acompany our meeting," he answered.
Aragorn stared at him for a while, not saying anything at all. Then, he suddenly stood up and walked onto the balcony. Legolas followed him, unsure wheter or not it was the right decision.
Legolas' mind was racing. He didn't want to have to go through this all, he wanted to be in the future. A future with the man and without the problems that came alongside with it. He didn't want to face Aragorn at all and he didn't want to explain his feelings. He didn't want anything, but a future with the man. He wanted to feel what it would like to be, loved by someone. To spend the days with someone. To stay together untill the end.
*I want to go with you far, far into the future
I want to peek at those days with you *
He wanted anything but this, this silence.
Suddenly, Aragorn turned around and faced him. "I don't know if you do, Legolas, but if you want me, don't ask me if I want you as well, for that is a question I am doomed to live with without knowing it's answer."
Legolas opened his mouth, but closed it again. It was no use for him to ask or to tell them man he wanted him and loved him and longed for him if he wouldn't get an answer in return.
Aragorn pulled him into an embrace. *My beloved, please hold me
Like you always do, in the midst of time's tenderness*
"This is nothing Aragorn, this means nothing to you. You only do this to make me feel satisfied. I'm not, Aragorn, and I won't be satisfied, untill you are laying in my arms instead of I in yours. Untill I know I am satisfying you by embracing you, untill I know you feel the same for me. Untill that time, this means nothing to me either," Legolas whispered against the man's shoulder.
Aragorn pushed him away with care and grabbed his hand tightly. "Don't tell me that you expect more of me than I gave you, Legolas, for I cannot offer you any more than my friendship."
Legolas stared into the man's eyes. "Then why are you holding my hand so tightly as if you are afraid of losing me by releasing it?"
*You're holding my hand, just look at the present*
"Maybe I am losing you when I release it," Aragorn whispered.
"Then you are afraid of losing me?" Legolas whispered in return.
"Not afraid of losing you, Legolas. Afraid of losing you friendship. I'm afraid you only are a friend of mine because you long for me," Aragorn answered.
"In that case, don't release my hand, for your fears may be reality," Legolas whispered.
*You're everything, you're everything*
Aragorn cast his eyes down and suddenly released Legolas' hand. "I cannot hold it forever," he said.
"Then I cannot stay by your side forever," Legolas said, turning around and leaving.
He rode his horse through the fields, over the hills, not wanting to think of Aragorn. Not wanting to know they would never be.
Not wanting to know he had lied to himself. Lied about the fact he could never forgive the man, that he could never stand by his side again. Because he could, he was too forgivefull. He knew when the man would ever stand in front of him, opening his arms, he would ran into them. He knew, if he'd dream about the man at night, he would not run away from him.
*Even if I'm apart from you
If we could see each other, I'd surely forgive you
Any night *
Aragorn sat down and stared at the wall, unblinkingly. It wasn't fair. He wasn't being fair to one of the fairest people in the world. And he was betraying himself. He was betraying himself on his feelings. He was betraying Arwen by the mere thoughts he was having about Legolas... *You're everything, you're everything*
He closed his eyes. He needed to rest and overthink the whole situation. It did not take long for him to fall into a deep sleep... In his dream, he and Legolas were at Rohan again and Legolas returned him the Evenstar he had lost. They stared eachother in the eyes and kissed, in front of everybody, without any fear.
Unwillingly, Aragorn awoke. What was he being a fool. A fool and nothing more. It surely was no secret to the outside world that Legolas adored him, but was his secret admiration for the Elf as secret as he thought it was?
He got up, decided to take his horse and ride to Rivendell, to see Arwen and to fall in love with her again. But as he rode the hills, he suddenly realised he wasn't going to Rivendell, but to Mirkwood. He had been dreaming of this, surely it could happen in reality.
*I'm strong enough to dream of you*
But now let's change the power to love
Into courgage*
Legolas stared over the lake. He was expecting for something, what that was, he did not know. He was just expecting for something to happen, something to invade his life or something to end his life.
Something had to take away the memory of Aragorn, that seemed to be burnt into his mind. *You're everything, you're everything*
Legolas knew he was fooling himself. Wearing a mask that told the outstanders everything was alright would be even more of a lie to himself. He knew there was only fear, pain, stress and hatred if he was far apart from Aragorn, but if he just looked at him, if he just briefly met his eyes, everything dissappeared. Everything was forgiven and everything was forgotten. There would only be the two of them, the both of them and the time.
*Even if I'm apart from you
If we could see each other, it would all disappear
Even the pain in my heart *
A knock on the door. Nobody opened.
Aragorn stood in front of where he knew Legolas lived. But he apparantly did not want to open or simply wasn't there.
"DAMN YOU!!" he screamed at the door, hitting it with his fist and growling of anger. It maybe was too late. Legolas had said he could never stand beside him, he had meant he would never be in his life again, and at the moment when he needed Legolas the most, he wasn't there. He needed to be here.
Aragorn made his way through parts of the forest, in search for the Elf. He was a Ranger, perhaps a King nowadays, but still a Ranger. He could track him down, he could find the Elf. The problem was that he had no clue why he was so eager to suddenly find him. But he needed him. Now. There was no middleway, no other choice, no exception. It was longing.
*You're everything, you're everything*
Legolas stood in front of the lake, tossing a stone and watching a dragonfly uninterested. His mind was occupied with one name and one face.
His ears picked up the sound of someone's footsteps. It was no Elf, for Elves barely made sound or left footprints. He turned around, now facing the forest.
Could it be...
Suddenly, two arms pulled him into a close embrace, a hand stroke over his hair and a mouth placed a kiss on his head before kissing him on his lips.
"Aragorn..." gasped Legolas when he broke off the kiss.
"You forgive me, you must forgive me. There is nothing here, in my heart, that tells me you're not the one for me. It was just my mind and my damned stubbornness that kept me from believing it. I need you, Legolas. I need you forever. I need you to fill my emptiness, to light my black days, to open up your arms for me. I don't want to be oblivious anymore, I want to be yours," Aragorn told him, not letting go of him.
"... Aragorn. Aragorn, you are eveything, both good and bad. Clear and confusing. But never tell me lies again. Never lie to me, never say you can't be more than a friend. It breaks me up and tears me down and I don't want that to happen ..." Legolas pushed his lips on Aragorn's.
"All I want is you..."
*I'm stronger than you think
I don't want any kind lies
All I want is you
You're everything... *
Song lyrics: Everything - Misia
Disclaimer: No I don't own them or they had been cannon!
This fic takes place after Aragorn and Arwen have married and Legolas is at home (Mirkwoord that is).
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EVERYTHING
He should've known it could never be more than a dream.
Legolas was laying on his back in the damp grass, watching the morning sky change it's colour from dark blue to an orange type of colour.
His life was as unending as the sky. As endless as the stars, as eternal as the sun and the moon...
And yet, in his neverending life he met him. The chances he would ever meet such a person were so small, but yet he had.
*I met you by chance in the midst of passing time*
He had fallen for the man, at the very first sight, at the very first look in his eyes, at the very first touch of his hand. Although it all had been briefly and meaningless contact for the man, perhaps, but to him it was a wonder, a miracle.
*It's amazing, isn't it? That such a miracle should be so close by*
The sky above him had changed into a light, pale blue colour. The sun had switched places with the moon and a gentle breeze played with the grass and leafes. All was peacefull, quiet and yet to be waken. Legolas mostly enjoyed his time alone, talking to and misunderstanding no other but himself.
And he misunderstood his weakness, for he was longing again. Longing to see the man again. But time had passed, it had been three years without any sight or message from him. *Still missing you, the time passes and I can't see you*
He got up slowely, his clothes wet from the damp grass and his hair messed up. He walked back to where he lived, his eyes cast down on the path that led him there. Thoughts that were lingering inside his head, he cursed, but they did not move. The picture of Aragorn and Arwen, kissing, while he, Legolas, was standing and smiling in the crowd. He remembered it so well, how both of them had laughed and he just smiled at them. He couldn't recall what had made him smile.
*Slipping through the door, I remember once again
You laughing with that person*
Perhaps it was the thought or the dream that it was not Arwen being kissed, but him.
He entered his room, not wanting to go back to sleep but not wanting to stay up either. He sat down in front of his desk and started to write a letter. For a letter would not give him the pain he recalled from looking in the man's eyes, a letter would not make him nervous, a letter would not break his heart in two, a letter would not make his words stumble and a letter would not show the man how weak he was in fact.
But if he got a letter in return, he would be reminded to these facts again. He would be reminded that there was pain, nervousity, heartbreaking, stumbling and weakness with him. He would be reminded that he had never the courage to go to the man instead of writing him a letter and waiting for one in return.
He stopped and put his quill down. He would send the letter this day, would wait for one in return and would visit the man. He would not only take enough with one letter.
That evening, the letter was posted and Legolas was back in his room, preparing to go to sleep. He never really needed sleep, Elves could even walk while sleeping, they could even have their eyes opened during sleep, but tonight was different. He needed sleep because he needed something to fill his day with.
As he lay down, memories again filled his already troubled mind. A tear escaped his eye and he closed his eyes. *My beloved, please don't make me sad
There are nights when I cry myself to sleep*
And he did got a letter in return. It didn't contain as many words as he wanted it to contain, but it contained the invitation he had hoped for.
As he entered the citadel of Minas Tirith, Legolas felt his heart race even faster as the horse he had rode to get here. The moment Aragorn came walking towards him he felt as if the ground faded under his feet, as if the air was robbed from his reach, as if his heart was unable to beat and the right words did not escape his lips.
"I'm glad to see you again, we have had so small time to talk about our victory," Aragorn began, but Legolas did not hear the parts that followed after it. He was enchanted by the man's face.
*Don't look at the past, just look at me*
They had sat down in Aragorn's private quarters, there was no sign of Arwen.
"Where is Arwen?" Legolas asked.
"She's in Rivendell, she's visiting Elrond. I did not join her because of you visiting today," Aragorn answered, pouring in two glasses of wine.
"That is very nice of you, but you could've joined her and I could've come another day," replied Legolas, not meaning any word of it.
"No, I couldn't have. We haven't seen for such a long time, this is more important to me than visiting Elrond for the third time this month," Aragorn handed him the glass of wine.
*You're everything, you're everything*
Legolas' heart skipped a beat. So the man rather wanted to talk to him than to join Arwen and Elrond in one of their wise and interesting conversations?
"Tell me, have you been avoiding me?" Legolas suddenly asked, he didn't know where he got the courage from to do so.
"Avoi- what do you think? Of course not, I just have been ... busy, lately. It's not such a small task, ruling Gondor," Aragorn replied quickly.
"Tell me the truth, Aragorn," Legolas demanded, taking a zip of his wine.
*I'm stronger than you think
I don't want any kind lies
All I want is you *
"I have been avoiding you, then," Aragorn sighed unusually.
"But why?" Legolas asked bemused.
"I have my reasons for doing so, let's not discuss them now."
Legolas cast his eyes down at the ground, unwillingly to look up at the man's face again. He had to live with this forever. He had to live with the knowledge they could never be forever. He didn't want to live forever. He didn't want to live forever to know that the man he loved avoided him and loved someone else. He did not want forever at all.
He only wanted forever if it was a forever together with the man.
But maybe all of his forever with this man had already been spent. *How long a time can be called forever?*
"And you, have you been avoiding me?" asked Aragorn in return.
Legolas shook his head, his eyes still on the ground. He returned his gaze back to Aragorn's face. "I have not been avoiding you, I have been avoiding the awful moments that acompany our meeting," he answered.
Aragorn stared at him for a while, not saying anything at all. Then, he suddenly stood up and walked onto the balcony. Legolas followed him, unsure wheter or not it was the right decision.
Legolas' mind was racing. He didn't want to have to go through this all, he wanted to be in the future. A future with the man and without the problems that came alongside with it. He didn't want to face Aragorn at all and he didn't want to explain his feelings. He didn't want anything, but a future with the man. He wanted to feel what it would like to be, loved by someone. To spend the days with someone. To stay together untill the end.
*I want to go with you far, far into the future
I want to peek at those days with you *
He wanted anything but this, this silence.
Suddenly, Aragorn turned around and faced him. "I don't know if you do, Legolas, but if you want me, don't ask me if I want you as well, for that is a question I am doomed to live with without knowing it's answer."
Legolas opened his mouth, but closed it again. It was no use for him to ask or to tell them man he wanted him and loved him and longed for him if he wouldn't get an answer in return.
Aragorn pulled him into an embrace. *My beloved, please hold me
Like you always do, in the midst of time's tenderness*
"This is nothing Aragorn, this means nothing to you. You only do this to make me feel satisfied. I'm not, Aragorn, and I won't be satisfied, untill you are laying in my arms instead of I in yours. Untill I know I am satisfying you by embracing you, untill I know you feel the same for me. Untill that time, this means nothing to me either," Legolas whispered against the man's shoulder.
Aragorn pushed him away with care and grabbed his hand tightly. "Don't tell me that you expect more of me than I gave you, Legolas, for I cannot offer you any more than my friendship."
Legolas stared into the man's eyes. "Then why are you holding my hand so tightly as if you are afraid of losing me by releasing it?"
*You're holding my hand, just look at the present*
"Maybe I am losing you when I release it," Aragorn whispered.
"Then you are afraid of losing me?" Legolas whispered in return.
"Not afraid of losing you, Legolas. Afraid of losing you friendship. I'm afraid you only are a friend of mine because you long for me," Aragorn answered.
"In that case, don't release my hand, for your fears may be reality," Legolas whispered.
*You're everything, you're everything*
Aragorn cast his eyes down and suddenly released Legolas' hand. "I cannot hold it forever," he said.
"Then I cannot stay by your side forever," Legolas said, turning around and leaving.
He rode his horse through the fields, over the hills, not wanting to think of Aragorn. Not wanting to know they would never be.
Not wanting to know he had lied to himself. Lied about the fact he could never forgive the man, that he could never stand by his side again. Because he could, he was too forgivefull. He knew when the man would ever stand in front of him, opening his arms, he would ran into them. He knew, if he'd dream about the man at night, he would not run away from him.
*Even if I'm apart from you
If we could see each other, I'd surely forgive you
Any night *
Aragorn sat down and stared at the wall, unblinkingly. It wasn't fair. He wasn't being fair to one of the fairest people in the world. And he was betraying himself. He was betraying himself on his feelings. He was betraying Arwen by the mere thoughts he was having about Legolas... *You're everything, you're everything*
He closed his eyes. He needed to rest and overthink the whole situation. It did not take long for him to fall into a deep sleep... In his dream, he and Legolas were at Rohan again and Legolas returned him the Evenstar he had lost. They stared eachother in the eyes and kissed, in front of everybody, without any fear.
Unwillingly, Aragorn awoke. What was he being a fool. A fool and nothing more. It surely was no secret to the outside world that Legolas adored him, but was his secret admiration for the Elf as secret as he thought it was?
He got up, decided to take his horse and ride to Rivendell, to see Arwen and to fall in love with her again. But as he rode the hills, he suddenly realised he wasn't going to Rivendell, but to Mirkwood. He had been dreaming of this, surely it could happen in reality.
*I'm strong enough to dream of you*
But now let's change the power to love
Into courgage*
Legolas stared over the lake. He was expecting for something, what that was, he did not know. He was just expecting for something to happen, something to invade his life or something to end his life.
Something had to take away the memory of Aragorn, that seemed to be burnt into his mind. *You're everything, you're everything*
Legolas knew he was fooling himself. Wearing a mask that told the outstanders everything was alright would be even more of a lie to himself. He knew there was only fear, pain, stress and hatred if he was far apart from Aragorn, but if he just looked at him, if he just briefly met his eyes, everything dissappeared. Everything was forgiven and everything was forgotten. There would only be the two of them, the both of them and the time.
*Even if I'm apart from you
If we could see each other, it would all disappear
Even the pain in my heart *
A knock on the door. Nobody opened.
Aragorn stood in front of where he knew Legolas lived. But he apparantly did not want to open or simply wasn't there.
"DAMN YOU!!" he screamed at the door, hitting it with his fist and growling of anger. It maybe was too late. Legolas had said he could never stand beside him, he had meant he would never be in his life again, and at the moment when he needed Legolas the most, he wasn't there. He needed to be here.
Aragorn made his way through parts of the forest, in search for the Elf. He was a Ranger, perhaps a King nowadays, but still a Ranger. He could track him down, he could find the Elf. The problem was that he had no clue why he was so eager to suddenly find him. But he needed him. Now. There was no middleway, no other choice, no exception. It was longing.
*You're everything, you're everything*
Legolas stood in front of the lake, tossing a stone and watching a dragonfly uninterested. His mind was occupied with one name and one face.
His ears picked up the sound of someone's footsteps. It was no Elf, for Elves barely made sound or left footprints. He turned around, now facing the forest.
Could it be...
Suddenly, two arms pulled him into a close embrace, a hand stroke over his hair and a mouth placed a kiss on his head before kissing him on his lips.
"Aragorn..." gasped Legolas when he broke off the kiss.
"You forgive me, you must forgive me. There is nothing here, in my heart, that tells me you're not the one for me. It was just my mind and my damned stubbornness that kept me from believing it. I need you, Legolas. I need you forever. I need you to fill my emptiness, to light my black days, to open up your arms for me. I don't want to be oblivious anymore, I want to be yours," Aragorn told him, not letting go of him.
"... Aragorn. Aragorn, you are eveything, both good and bad. Clear and confusing. But never tell me lies again. Never lie to me, never say you can't be more than a friend. It breaks me up and tears me down and I don't want that to happen ..." Legolas pushed his lips on Aragorn's.
"All I want is you..."
*I'm stronger than you think
I don't want any kind lies
All I want is you
You're everything... *