A brief interlude here readers to bring you Gollum's answers, or Smeagol's,
decide for yourself. And apologies for the huge gaps between updates, I'm
trying to speed up now my university career is officially over! And thanks
and don't worry to all those who reviewed with suggestions - they're all
coming up eventually! Now, what are those twins up to this time...?
No words passed between the two elves in the dim torchlight, the odd glance or gesture served as communication deep within the Misty Mountains. Slightly ahead of his brother, Elladan bent to examine the rocky floor beneath him, but could pick up no clues or tracks from the hard path. Still, no warning smells assailed their senses, no muffles noises echoed down the tunnels and even the air itself seemed musty and disused. Elrohir risked raising his voice.
"Brother, there are no Orcs here. Must we go further?"
Elladan smiled briefly. "Does your stomach tell you it is time for home?" He asked his twin, knowing the other's habits well. Elrohir made to reply but a slight grumble from his belly answered for him.
"And of course you never hunger." Elrohir retorted. "When you neglected to find the right path home a few centuries past, I don't recall it was me rolling on the floor whining for a taste of even father's 'nourishing' oat cakes. It wasn't me who..."
Elladan held a hand up to silence his brother's tirade. Elrohir, expecting a verbal entreaty for silence immediately stemmed his retorts, instead listening silently for whatever it was that his brother's senses had picked up. Another gesture, and Elladan resumed his slow walk up the tunnel, back pressed to the wall, torch in hand, edging gingerly forward, ready for action. Elrohir took the wall opposite, a few steps back, also prepared. They continued this reconnaissance for a few moments until an unelvish curse escaped Elladan's lips.
"Eurgh. As I expected, water."
Elrohir smothered a laugh as he watched his brother try unsuccessfully to shake dark, tepid liquid from his boots. Ignoring the seemingly large pool that now entirely blocked their way, Elrohir scouted its edges. The underground lake stretched further than the light of the torches could penetrate, and each elf understood that they could journey no more in this direction; any Orcs that lay beyond this path that had escaped the mass culling once the evil forces of the world had been defeated would not be found this day. While Elladan peered into the deep pool and noticed a rocky island, Elrohir frowned at collections of bones; some fish skeletons, some decidedly Orcish. Then, a brief flash of pale cream, different to the ebony bones that littered the floor caught his eye. Bending, he lifted an ancient, curling paper closer to the torchlight, delicately handling the fragment that had lain forgotten for so long.
"Elladan, look at this." He called his brother over. The writing on the paper was almost illegible, only a few words could be deciphered. Curiously, over the top was sketched, in a large, uneducated hand, other words. Elrohir examined the writing closer but could not make sense of its strange format. "Probably just rubbish." He dismissed it, but Elladan pulled it from his hand with a slight grin.
"I think I can make it all out Elrohir, allow me to enlighten you."
Elrohir's own grin grew as he listened to his brother read the opening words aloud.
First make a copy of this letter and change the answers so they apply to you. Then send it to all the people you know. You may learn some interesting facts about your friends!
"Is nowhere safe from this menace?" Elrohir joked hearing the opening words that were now so familiar to him.
"The mystery deepens, listen to this..."
Name: Smeagol
Nicknames: Peoples call us Gollum now Precious. Nasty peoples.
If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? Out of the sight of horrid Yellow Face. Burning bright lights. Horrid.
What is your favourite place to be? Down here in the mountains. Nice, cool, dark.
What is your least favourite place to be? With the river folk. They are horrible to us, Precious, they call good Smeagol nasty names and curse us. We don't need them any more.
What is the last good song you heard? Water splashing, scales flashing. Splish of fish, splash of feet, taste of meat. Made it up myself I did.
What is your favourite colour? Black. Dark. But, remember having a red blanket we does. We likes red Precious.
What is your favourite smell? Dank watery smell. Means we is safe, hidden, hiding. Remember a nice smell too, from before, came from pretty blue flowers, heads nodding in the sun. Nasty Yellow Face.
What is your favourite article of clothing? Once had a blue coat precious, yes we did.
What makes you angry? Nasty peoples who calls us names. Peoples who want my birthday present. They shan't have it. Not never.
What time do you wake up in the morning? Don't wake up in the morning Precious, wakes up in the evening when Yellow Face goes to bed and Pale Face comes out. Don't likes Pale Face neither. Stay inside and wakes when we wants.
Can you juggle? Could once Precious.
What would you hate to be left in a room with? Horrid Orcses. Would kill good Smeagol if they could. Nasty Orcses. Get them first.
Is the goblet half empty or half full? Don't have no goblet, don't needs one.
What is the first thing you think when you wake up? The Precious, and tries to forget nasty dreams.
What is your favourite form of exercise? Swims for fishes we do.
Who do you have a crush on at the moment? Pretty lass, pretty dark hair, big brown eyeses. Forgets her name Precious. But pretty hair she had.
What have you got in your pocket? Don't need pocketses any more, only Precious to keep close now.
Who is most likely to respond to this letter? No one, all hates us.
Who is least likely to respond to this letter? Good Deagol. Poor Deagol. We miss him we do Precious.
Elrohir looked at his surroundings with more care. "Of course, I should have paid more attention to Bilbo's stories brother, then we would have realised this was Gollum's cave before he was captured." He gained little reply from Elladan who was still transfixed upon the document in his hand. "Elladan?"
The other twin came out of his reverie. "Is it, not sad, but at least poignant brother? It is easy to forget that the creature we knew came from very different origins to these." He glanced around the dark tunnels with a melancholy look. "That he once lived with others; a simpler, happier existence." Elrohir, moved by his brother's empathy for the sad creature, laid a hand on Elladan's shoulder.
"Let us return home, and bring this testament to life with us."
Elladan merely nodded, and the brothers left together, leaving the ghosts of the past behind them in the dark.
I hope this satisfies everyone who wanted to hear from Gollum, or at least a Gollum/Smeagol hybrid soon after he started hiding. Lord Celeborn is still writing is answers and they'll be up next, hopefully soon, and after that? We shall see, we shall see!
No words passed between the two elves in the dim torchlight, the odd glance or gesture served as communication deep within the Misty Mountains. Slightly ahead of his brother, Elladan bent to examine the rocky floor beneath him, but could pick up no clues or tracks from the hard path. Still, no warning smells assailed their senses, no muffles noises echoed down the tunnels and even the air itself seemed musty and disused. Elrohir risked raising his voice.
"Brother, there are no Orcs here. Must we go further?"
Elladan smiled briefly. "Does your stomach tell you it is time for home?" He asked his twin, knowing the other's habits well. Elrohir made to reply but a slight grumble from his belly answered for him.
"And of course you never hunger." Elrohir retorted. "When you neglected to find the right path home a few centuries past, I don't recall it was me rolling on the floor whining for a taste of even father's 'nourishing' oat cakes. It wasn't me who..."
Elladan held a hand up to silence his brother's tirade. Elrohir, expecting a verbal entreaty for silence immediately stemmed his retorts, instead listening silently for whatever it was that his brother's senses had picked up. Another gesture, and Elladan resumed his slow walk up the tunnel, back pressed to the wall, torch in hand, edging gingerly forward, ready for action. Elrohir took the wall opposite, a few steps back, also prepared. They continued this reconnaissance for a few moments until an unelvish curse escaped Elladan's lips.
"Eurgh. As I expected, water."
Elrohir smothered a laugh as he watched his brother try unsuccessfully to shake dark, tepid liquid from his boots. Ignoring the seemingly large pool that now entirely blocked their way, Elrohir scouted its edges. The underground lake stretched further than the light of the torches could penetrate, and each elf understood that they could journey no more in this direction; any Orcs that lay beyond this path that had escaped the mass culling once the evil forces of the world had been defeated would not be found this day. While Elladan peered into the deep pool and noticed a rocky island, Elrohir frowned at collections of bones; some fish skeletons, some decidedly Orcish. Then, a brief flash of pale cream, different to the ebony bones that littered the floor caught his eye. Bending, he lifted an ancient, curling paper closer to the torchlight, delicately handling the fragment that had lain forgotten for so long.
"Elladan, look at this." He called his brother over. The writing on the paper was almost illegible, only a few words could be deciphered. Curiously, over the top was sketched, in a large, uneducated hand, other words. Elrohir examined the writing closer but could not make sense of its strange format. "Probably just rubbish." He dismissed it, but Elladan pulled it from his hand with a slight grin.
"I think I can make it all out Elrohir, allow me to enlighten you."
Elrohir's own grin grew as he listened to his brother read the opening words aloud.
First make a copy of this letter and change the answers so they apply to you. Then send it to all the people you know. You may learn some interesting facts about your friends!
"Is nowhere safe from this menace?" Elrohir joked hearing the opening words that were now so familiar to him.
"The mystery deepens, listen to this..."
Name: Smeagol
Nicknames: Peoples call us Gollum now Precious. Nasty peoples.
If you could build a house anywhere, where would it be? Out of the sight of horrid Yellow Face. Burning bright lights. Horrid.
What is your favourite place to be? Down here in the mountains. Nice, cool, dark.
What is your least favourite place to be? With the river folk. They are horrible to us, Precious, they call good Smeagol nasty names and curse us. We don't need them any more.
What is the last good song you heard? Water splashing, scales flashing. Splish of fish, splash of feet, taste of meat. Made it up myself I did.
What is your favourite colour? Black. Dark. But, remember having a red blanket we does. We likes red Precious.
What is your favourite smell? Dank watery smell. Means we is safe, hidden, hiding. Remember a nice smell too, from before, came from pretty blue flowers, heads nodding in the sun. Nasty Yellow Face.
What is your favourite article of clothing? Once had a blue coat precious, yes we did.
What makes you angry? Nasty peoples who calls us names. Peoples who want my birthday present. They shan't have it. Not never.
What time do you wake up in the morning? Don't wake up in the morning Precious, wakes up in the evening when Yellow Face goes to bed and Pale Face comes out. Don't likes Pale Face neither. Stay inside and wakes when we wants.
Can you juggle? Could once Precious.
What would you hate to be left in a room with? Horrid Orcses. Would kill good Smeagol if they could. Nasty Orcses. Get them first.
Is the goblet half empty or half full? Don't have no goblet, don't needs one.
What is the first thing you think when you wake up? The Precious, and tries to forget nasty dreams.
What is your favourite form of exercise? Swims for fishes we do.
Who do you have a crush on at the moment? Pretty lass, pretty dark hair, big brown eyeses. Forgets her name Precious. But pretty hair she had.
What have you got in your pocket? Don't need pocketses any more, only Precious to keep close now.
Who is most likely to respond to this letter? No one, all hates us.
Who is least likely to respond to this letter? Good Deagol. Poor Deagol. We miss him we do Precious.
Elrohir looked at his surroundings with more care. "Of course, I should have paid more attention to Bilbo's stories brother, then we would have realised this was Gollum's cave before he was captured." He gained little reply from Elladan who was still transfixed upon the document in his hand. "Elladan?"
The other twin came out of his reverie. "Is it, not sad, but at least poignant brother? It is easy to forget that the creature we knew came from very different origins to these." He glanced around the dark tunnels with a melancholy look. "That he once lived with others; a simpler, happier existence." Elrohir, moved by his brother's empathy for the sad creature, laid a hand on Elladan's shoulder.
"Let us return home, and bring this testament to life with us."
Elladan merely nodded, and the brothers left together, leaving the ghosts of the past behind them in the dark.
I hope this satisfies everyone who wanted to hear from Gollum, or at least a Gollum/Smeagol hybrid soon after he started hiding. Lord Celeborn is still writing is answers and they'll be up next, hopefully soon, and after that? We shall see, we shall see!