Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, I own the North family and the plot
ONLY! No money is being made off of this and you'd be mad to think that I
was J. K. Rowlings because I'd be selling this stuff if I was and it
wouldn't go on a site where I just maybe hope for some reviews. Oh well .
. .
I'm trying to get this out as fast as I can because I've just gotten a LOT of inspiration . . . mainly my school nurse saying I've got mental problems and that I need to have them checked (for Christ sake, you'd think a school nurse would stick to her job of giving you your medicine so you don't die in her office . . . rather than lecturing you for half an hour saying that you need to get help because all of these allergies causing life threatening problems are all in your head . . .) so I'm venting off my frustration on her. So yeah, anyways, on with the story! This is the longest chapter I've ever written! Over 3000 words I believe! Please review!
Chapter 14
Harry went straight to Hermione after that scene that he had witnessed outside. He had to know what had happened to cause all of this, he was certain that Draco and Hermione were meant for each other, and he sure as hell was going to get to the bottom of this whole mess if it killed him.
Harry walked to Hermione's room in search of her, but his search was in vain for she was not there. Next he tried Gryffindor Tower in hopes that she may be there and unfortunately she was not there. So he went to the only other place she could have been, the library.
Harry pushed the doors open lightly and peeked into the library to see if Madame Pince was in sight of the doors, she wasn't and so he entered hastily and made his was to Hermione's favorites retreat in the library. He walked over to where the tables were and took an abrupt turn to the right and headed off to the dark corner near the bookshelf edge in which there was a bay window with a cushioned seat. Surely enough, Hermione was there looking up at the stars in the night sky with her copy of Hogwarts, A History opened on her lap. She gave an audible sigh and closed her eyes as a tear slid down her cheek.
"Hermione?" asked Harry tentatively.
Hermione stayed wrapped up in her silence as Harry approached her. She had known that Harry was in there the moment he walked in; she had sensed his thoughts the moment they were in the library hall. She didn't want to talk at the moment.
"Hermione, I know you can hear me," said Harry still quietly as he approached her.
She looked out to the lake as he stood next to her and remained in her peaceful aura. She knew that he wanted to know what was going on and she didn't want to explain if she didn't have to.
"Well, if you're not going to talk, then you can listen." Usually she wouldn't listen to something that someone had to say to her . . . something was definitely wrong.
Harry sat down in front of her and continued on, "Hermione, you can't just shut everything out of your life. That's not going to make it better and you know it; it never helps because you just bottle it up until you can't take it any more then you just explode or go to another extreme. Hermione, you can't live you life like this . . . pretending that nothing is wrong but really letting it take its control over you and your decisions. I did that just after Sirius had died, but the very fact that I was too depressed and shut everyone out of my life caused me to almost miss the solution to the problem because I had let it take a hold over me. You helped me out of that and so did Ron, but in the end it was really my choice to give it up and to find the way to bring Sirius back to life. If you give it up now, you can go on with your life without losing too much of it to gain back. Hermione, you can tell me what's going on with that Justin bloke because people are starting to say that the two of you have been dating, and Dra -"
Hermione snapped at the mere mention of Malfoy, "What the hell do you know? Damnit Harry, you can't always be the hero! You don't have to know everything that is going on in my life just because I've had a couple of off days this week. Why are you trying to pry into my private life when you don't even know the matters that you are meddling in? Harry you are so damn self-centered!" She slapped him as hard as she could, which wasn't a very hard blow because she had been so drained. She beat her fists against his chest in anger over the truth of his words. She then put her hands to her face and broke down into sobs. Harry pulled her to him and run a comforting hand up and down her back. Her tears stained his shirt as she cried over the past few days of confusion and hopelessness that she had experienced.
"Harry I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry . . ." she choked out as she'd realized just what she had said and done just then.
"Mione, it's all right. Shhh, it's okay." Harry hated to see Hermione in such a fragile state; it meant that the problem that she was suffering from was extremely bad because she usually put up a front in the face of her problems. 'I just wish that she would trust me enough to tell me what is troubling her,' he thought.
"Harry, it's not that I don't trust you, I just can't tell you about it because I'm not ready. And don't say that you didn't say that because to me, thinking is the same as speaking if it's unguarded," said Hermione knowing that Harry was think that statement and not actually saying it aloud.
"I'm sorry Mione," said Harry, temporarily having forgotten about her powers.
"Oh Harry, what am I going to do? I can't very well just let it go, but I know I can't hold on to the problems in my life if I want to live a healthy life."
"Well, I think that you should focus on letting go when you know you would be able to talk about it; that doesn't mean you have to, but you know that you would be able to."
"That would work in theory, except I already told Sirius about the problem, but it didn't help at all."
"Well . . . then you just have problems now don't you?" Harry said sarcastically.
Hermione pushed him playfully and said, "Very funny; what ever am I to do with you? You can never be serious for too long any more."
"Well, laughter is the best kind of medicine there is, wasn't it you that told me to lighten up a bit during sixth year because I was too serious?"
"I know, it'll just take me some time to get over it, and I promise that I'll talk to Sirius about it and when I'm ready, I'll tell you," she said looking straight at him.
"That's my Mione," he said stroking his thumb over her cheek.
Hermione smiled slightly at this. "Thanks Harry," she said as she hugged him then kissed his cheek lightly.
"Hey, that's what friends are for."
They decided to go sit by the lake for the rest of the afternoon and chat about nothing in general to keep Hermione's mind off of her problems.
~*::-::*~
Justin had seen Hermione and Harry walk out to the lake and gave some serious thought to what he wanted to do. With determination, he walked out onto the front lawn and walked to the lake.
As he approached them, Harry and Hermione looked up at him.
"Yeah Justin?" asked Harry kind of coldly. He really didn't like the fact that he was ruining the relationship of Hermione and Draco.
Justin was not deterred in the least by the slight display of hostility, "Hermione, can I talk to you please?"
"Sure Justin," said Hermione getting up and giving Harry the shut-it-or- I'll-hex-you look.
So they walked away to a secluded part by the lake. Justin was rapidly losing his nerve the longer they walked in silence.
Finally he stopped and finally looked Hermione in the eye. "Hermione, I have something that I need to ask you," he started.
"Yes, what is it Justin?" asked Hermione catching on to his nervousness.
"Well . . . I was wondering if . . ."
"If?"
"Ifoodmrymeaftrgraduation," he spat out quickly.
"What?" Hermione asked in utter confusion. All she had heard of the slurred words was the word graduation.
Justin took a deep breath and began slowly, "Hermione, I really like you, more than I've ever liked anyone. I was wondering if maybe you would consider marrying me after we graduate. You don't have to answer me right away, you can answer me whenever you like."
"Justin, you're a really nice person and all, but I don't know if I would really ever consider marriage now."
He put his fingers to her lips to silence her, "Hermione, just please say you'll think about it."
He gently lowered his lips to hers in a soft kiss; their first kiss. "All right I'll think about it," she said as his lips pulled away and she opened her eyes. She pulled slightly away from him. "I've got to go Justin."
"All right, I'll see you later, and please remember to think about it," he said as she walked into the Great Hall.
~*::-::*~
Hermione made sure to try and avoid anybody except Harry and Sirius because they were the only ones that seemed to understand that she was having some serious problems. This tactic had worked quite well for a while. Harry would go with her to the library, Hermione would go with him to Quidditch practice, and she would hang out with Sirius whenever Harry needed to be alone for something.
This unfortunately did not entirely work though because one day she was caught alone outside because Harry was ill, Sirius was grading tests, and Hermione needed some air because she was done with her homework and wasn't tired enough to go to bed.
Draco was not aware of the fact that Hermione was outside, but he needed to get some air and to be away from those bumbling idiots down in the Slytherin Common Room. He decided that a nighttime stroll to clear his mind of things. Then he saw her . . . Hermione out by the lake by herself. He knew that she hated him, but he needed to talk to her about something that had been bothering him.
"Hermione!" he called about twenty yards from her.
Hermione looked up and then went rigid as she saw Draco walking toward her. "What the hell do you want?"
"I needed to know something that only you can tell me."
"Well, get on with it then because I don't have all evening."
He looked her directly in the eyes as he said, "What is going on between you and that Justin guy?"
She looked at him squarely, and there was a determined set to her jaw. Leaning back against the bark of tree she was near and she made up her mind about Justin's proposal, and she said, "I'm marrying Justin Finch- Fletchley."
"I see." He stood there waiting, for he knew she had taken the opportunity to tell him. The water splashed on the shore of the lake, and there was a salty tang in the wintry air. The lights in the castle cast flickering gleams over the grounds, and her face looked like an Indian mask - planed down to the simple carves and hollows.
"You love him?" he asked finally. He did not miss the quick response that swept over her face - not disgust, but distrust that hardened the soft hazel eyes.
"I respect him; he's a good person."
"You could say that about Dumbledore or Flitwick for Christ's sake and I should hope you're not planning to marry them any time soon! Is that enough for you - respect?"
"It's better than I got from you!" she cried out, and despite her intention to keep her emotions under control, anger raced through her as she faced him. "I got love from you, didn't I? Kisses and promises that made my head swim! Oh, what a fool I was because what I didn't get from you was respect!"
He bowed his head, taking the force of her wrath, as he would submit to a rightful judgment. But he could not let it all go.
"All right, I was wrong - I've admitted that. But I want to tell you two things, Hermione Terra Morgan."
"What could you tell me that I would possibly want to hear?"
"When I first came back after meeting Cecily, whom I was obligated to marry, it was all a hoax because I didn't want you to have to go through the pain of having someone who loved you being the one who destroyed your heart! Then I got to realizing that I needed to end one of the relationships, but by that time someone probably happened to tell you what was going on when I had fully intended on choosing you - it wasn't a pretense."
She laughed harshly and then said mockingly, "Oh don't tell me that you were really going to pick me over your whore! I'm not as gullible as I was then Draco!"
He shrugged and said, "All right, think what you will, but I'm telling you the truth. The other thing, Hermione, is that even if I am the world's biggest hypocrite and liar, that's no excuse for you to run away from love."
"You don't know what love is!"
"I know one thing - love is not cold!"
A streak of anger ran through him, and he caught her wrist as she turned to leave. "You can't bear the truth, can you? But you're going to hear it this once!"
"Let go of me!"
He ignored all of her struggles and taking her other arm, held her fast. "Rogue I am and will probably always be, Hermione - liar, traitor, manslayer! But I tell you this one thing, when I kissed you in the hall that day, it was not treason! It was the beginning of something I'd never known. I'd kissed other women, some almost as beautiful as you, but there's something in you that held me!" He forced himself to speak quietly, but there was intensity in his smoky gray eyes that held her fixated in his grasp.
"You are a woman of morality and logic," he continued. "But you are flesh and blood, as you found out when I kissed you. Can you deny it?"
She whispered, "You taunt me with that?"
"No! You were honest then - but you are not now."
"I am!"
He shook her like a reed and said passionately, "You are not! How can you be honest and marry a man you don't even love? Marriage is not spirit; it's flesh and blood Hermione! And you were more honest then than you are now."
"It's a lie!" she whispered. "I don't want that sort of thing!"
He suddenly pulled her closer, saying, "You're afraid of love - that's why you're afraid of me now!"
She braced herself against him, her face pale in the flickering yellow lights of Hogwarts. Desperately she cried out, "I'm not! I'm not afraid of love - not of you either!"
He had no hopes, but he had a strong memory of her from the past, fragrant and clear as a flower. He would never have her, but he hated to see her turn into a dry-lipped, sour person. He pulled her forward until the soft curves of her body pressed against him, and whispered, "Is this what you're afraid of Hermione?" and then he gathered her closer until they made one shadow on the ground. (Author's Note: get your minds out of the gutter here if you're thinking something that I didn't say!!!)
She uttered one short cry before his lips silenced her, and she beat his back with her fists, but she might as well have beaten on a rock. Furiously she struggled, kicking at his legs with all her might, but he swung her around and trapped her against the tree so that she could not move.
His lips were hard against hers, and there was no gentleness in him. His muscular arms pulled her even closer and she stopped struggling. Her hands rose involuntarily and rested on his neck, and she was aware of nothing but the pressure of his lips and the warmth of his body against hers.
Then he lifted his head, and whispered, "Never be afraid of what you are feeling right now."
She came to herself with a jerk, and her cheeks flushed as she pushed him away. With a trembling voice she said, "You're stronger than I am - that's - that's all you've proved! You think all you have to do is touch a girl, and no matter who she is, she'll fall in love with you!" She was close to tears, but she bit her lip and made herself say coldly, "I've asked you to leave me alone, and you take advantage of me the first chance you get. Is there no honor in you, Draco Malfoy?"
He saw that she was locked in, incapable of understanding anything he might say. He nodded once, and said, "Don't marry a man who can't make you angry - or one who can't stir your blood."
"I'm marrying Justin Finch-Fletchley," she said steadily. "Please don't ever make any of your foolish advances to me again!"
"I can promise you that," he said quietly. He stepped back, and she walked back to the castle, walking unsteadily up the stairs to the door and out of his life.
She had to tell Justin of her decision before another thing happened. She started to run to the Hufflepuff Common Room, but didn't have to go all the way because she conveniently ran into him (literally.)
Helping her off her feet Justin asked, "Hermione, are you all right?" She nodded, but then Justin noticed the oddity of the situation, "What are you doing all the way up here at this time of night?"
"Justin I had to tell you something important and I needed to get it off my chest as soon as I could."
"Yes, what is it?" he asked quickly, hoping that she was referring to her answer to his question.
"I have thought and thought about it almost constantly and I have reached my decision about your proposal."
"Yes?" Justin was waiting with baited breath as Hermione built up the anticipation and was drawing the last moments out painfully slow.
"I've decided that . . . I . . . I will marry you."
"You will?" Justin's face had lit up like Christmas was coming early this year at hearing her words.
"I will."
"Oh Hermione! You don't know how happy you've made me!" he exclaimed as he hugged her tightly to him and then kissed her cheek.
"I'm sorry, but that's all I came to do because I need to be off to bed now . . . I'm dreadfully tired, but now I can sleep in peace."
"All right. Goodnight my sweet Hermione," he said and then gave her a light peck on the lips.
"Pleasant dreams Justin," said Hermione somewhat monotonously as she began to walk away, Justin either didn't notice her tone, did and took it as she was tired, or noticed it and didn't say anything about it.
As Hermione entered her room about three and a half minutes later she thought to herself, 'What have I gotten myself into?'
Author's Note: I know that some of you might be getting really pissed off about now because Hermione just did what she did, but fear not, what is supposed to happen, will happen. I'm going to do thank yous in the next chapter, so if you want me to answer a question or something, try to get in you reviews before I post the next chapter!
LinNicole, one of my most faithful reviewers, brought an important point into my view in chapter 13 so I thought I would answer her review right now. I know that in chapter 12, Hermione was raped and that I really haven't focused on that issue yet. I believe that rape is a really serious problem and that it should not be taken lightly, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with not addressing that topic. I was planning to do that in a later chapter, but when I read your review LinNicole, I felt that I should put something about how Hermione was affected by being raped, and I hope that that little section with Harry helps give everyone just a glimpse at how Hermione really feels about having been raped by someone that she will never be able to bring to justice (which is why this chapter is so long.) I thank you for being one of my most loyal readers, you don't know how much that swells my head up with pride (metaphorically speaking,) and it's great to know that you have taken the time to read my story.
Anyways, please review, give me any thoughts or suggestions that you may have, and I will see what I can do!
I'm trying to get this out as fast as I can because I've just gotten a LOT of inspiration . . . mainly my school nurse saying I've got mental problems and that I need to have them checked (for Christ sake, you'd think a school nurse would stick to her job of giving you your medicine so you don't die in her office . . . rather than lecturing you for half an hour saying that you need to get help because all of these allergies causing life threatening problems are all in your head . . .) so I'm venting off my frustration on her. So yeah, anyways, on with the story! This is the longest chapter I've ever written! Over 3000 words I believe! Please review!
Chapter 14
Harry went straight to Hermione after that scene that he had witnessed outside. He had to know what had happened to cause all of this, he was certain that Draco and Hermione were meant for each other, and he sure as hell was going to get to the bottom of this whole mess if it killed him.
Harry walked to Hermione's room in search of her, but his search was in vain for she was not there. Next he tried Gryffindor Tower in hopes that she may be there and unfortunately she was not there. So he went to the only other place she could have been, the library.
Harry pushed the doors open lightly and peeked into the library to see if Madame Pince was in sight of the doors, she wasn't and so he entered hastily and made his was to Hermione's favorites retreat in the library. He walked over to where the tables were and took an abrupt turn to the right and headed off to the dark corner near the bookshelf edge in which there was a bay window with a cushioned seat. Surely enough, Hermione was there looking up at the stars in the night sky with her copy of Hogwarts, A History opened on her lap. She gave an audible sigh and closed her eyes as a tear slid down her cheek.
"Hermione?" asked Harry tentatively.
Hermione stayed wrapped up in her silence as Harry approached her. She had known that Harry was in there the moment he walked in; she had sensed his thoughts the moment they were in the library hall. She didn't want to talk at the moment.
"Hermione, I know you can hear me," said Harry still quietly as he approached her.
She looked out to the lake as he stood next to her and remained in her peaceful aura. She knew that he wanted to know what was going on and she didn't want to explain if she didn't have to.
"Well, if you're not going to talk, then you can listen." Usually she wouldn't listen to something that someone had to say to her . . . something was definitely wrong.
Harry sat down in front of her and continued on, "Hermione, you can't just shut everything out of your life. That's not going to make it better and you know it; it never helps because you just bottle it up until you can't take it any more then you just explode or go to another extreme. Hermione, you can't live you life like this . . . pretending that nothing is wrong but really letting it take its control over you and your decisions. I did that just after Sirius had died, but the very fact that I was too depressed and shut everyone out of my life caused me to almost miss the solution to the problem because I had let it take a hold over me. You helped me out of that and so did Ron, but in the end it was really my choice to give it up and to find the way to bring Sirius back to life. If you give it up now, you can go on with your life without losing too much of it to gain back. Hermione, you can tell me what's going on with that Justin bloke because people are starting to say that the two of you have been dating, and Dra -"
Hermione snapped at the mere mention of Malfoy, "What the hell do you know? Damnit Harry, you can't always be the hero! You don't have to know everything that is going on in my life just because I've had a couple of off days this week. Why are you trying to pry into my private life when you don't even know the matters that you are meddling in? Harry you are so damn self-centered!" She slapped him as hard as she could, which wasn't a very hard blow because she had been so drained. She beat her fists against his chest in anger over the truth of his words. She then put her hands to her face and broke down into sobs. Harry pulled her to him and run a comforting hand up and down her back. Her tears stained his shirt as she cried over the past few days of confusion and hopelessness that she had experienced.
"Harry I'm so sorry! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry . . ." she choked out as she'd realized just what she had said and done just then.
"Mione, it's all right. Shhh, it's okay." Harry hated to see Hermione in such a fragile state; it meant that the problem that she was suffering from was extremely bad because she usually put up a front in the face of her problems. 'I just wish that she would trust me enough to tell me what is troubling her,' he thought.
"Harry, it's not that I don't trust you, I just can't tell you about it because I'm not ready. And don't say that you didn't say that because to me, thinking is the same as speaking if it's unguarded," said Hermione knowing that Harry was think that statement and not actually saying it aloud.
"I'm sorry Mione," said Harry, temporarily having forgotten about her powers.
"Oh Harry, what am I going to do? I can't very well just let it go, but I know I can't hold on to the problems in my life if I want to live a healthy life."
"Well, I think that you should focus on letting go when you know you would be able to talk about it; that doesn't mean you have to, but you know that you would be able to."
"That would work in theory, except I already told Sirius about the problem, but it didn't help at all."
"Well . . . then you just have problems now don't you?" Harry said sarcastically.
Hermione pushed him playfully and said, "Very funny; what ever am I to do with you? You can never be serious for too long any more."
"Well, laughter is the best kind of medicine there is, wasn't it you that told me to lighten up a bit during sixth year because I was too serious?"
"I know, it'll just take me some time to get over it, and I promise that I'll talk to Sirius about it and when I'm ready, I'll tell you," she said looking straight at him.
"That's my Mione," he said stroking his thumb over her cheek.
Hermione smiled slightly at this. "Thanks Harry," she said as she hugged him then kissed his cheek lightly.
"Hey, that's what friends are for."
They decided to go sit by the lake for the rest of the afternoon and chat about nothing in general to keep Hermione's mind off of her problems.
~*::-::*~
Justin had seen Hermione and Harry walk out to the lake and gave some serious thought to what he wanted to do. With determination, he walked out onto the front lawn and walked to the lake.
As he approached them, Harry and Hermione looked up at him.
"Yeah Justin?" asked Harry kind of coldly. He really didn't like the fact that he was ruining the relationship of Hermione and Draco.
Justin was not deterred in the least by the slight display of hostility, "Hermione, can I talk to you please?"
"Sure Justin," said Hermione getting up and giving Harry the shut-it-or- I'll-hex-you look.
So they walked away to a secluded part by the lake. Justin was rapidly losing his nerve the longer they walked in silence.
Finally he stopped and finally looked Hermione in the eye. "Hermione, I have something that I need to ask you," he started.
"Yes, what is it Justin?" asked Hermione catching on to his nervousness.
"Well . . . I was wondering if . . ."
"If?"
"Ifoodmrymeaftrgraduation," he spat out quickly.
"What?" Hermione asked in utter confusion. All she had heard of the slurred words was the word graduation.
Justin took a deep breath and began slowly, "Hermione, I really like you, more than I've ever liked anyone. I was wondering if maybe you would consider marrying me after we graduate. You don't have to answer me right away, you can answer me whenever you like."
"Justin, you're a really nice person and all, but I don't know if I would really ever consider marriage now."
He put his fingers to her lips to silence her, "Hermione, just please say you'll think about it."
He gently lowered his lips to hers in a soft kiss; their first kiss. "All right I'll think about it," she said as his lips pulled away and she opened her eyes. She pulled slightly away from him. "I've got to go Justin."
"All right, I'll see you later, and please remember to think about it," he said as she walked into the Great Hall.
~*::-::*~
Hermione made sure to try and avoid anybody except Harry and Sirius because they were the only ones that seemed to understand that she was having some serious problems. This tactic had worked quite well for a while. Harry would go with her to the library, Hermione would go with him to Quidditch practice, and she would hang out with Sirius whenever Harry needed to be alone for something.
This unfortunately did not entirely work though because one day she was caught alone outside because Harry was ill, Sirius was grading tests, and Hermione needed some air because she was done with her homework and wasn't tired enough to go to bed.
Draco was not aware of the fact that Hermione was outside, but he needed to get some air and to be away from those bumbling idiots down in the Slytherin Common Room. He decided that a nighttime stroll to clear his mind of things. Then he saw her . . . Hermione out by the lake by herself. He knew that she hated him, but he needed to talk to her about something that had been bothering him.
"Hermione!" he called about twenty yards from her.
Hermione looked up and then went rigid as she saw Draco walking toward her. "What the hell do you want?"
"I needed to know something that only you can tell me."
"Well, get on with it then because I don't have all evening."
He looked her directly in the eyes as he said, "What is going on between you and that Justin guy?"
She looked at him squarely, and there was a determined set to her jaw. Leaning back against the bark of tree she was near and she made up her mind about Justin's proposal, and she said, "I'm marrying Justin Finch- Fletchley."
"I see." He stood there waiting, for he knew she had taken the opportunity to tell him. The water splashed on the shore of the lake, and there was a salty tang in the wintry air. The lights in the castle cast flickering gleams over the grounds, and her face looked like an Indian mask - planed down to the simple carves and hollows.
"You love him?" he asked finally. He did not miss the quick response that swept over her face - not disgust, but distrust that hardened the soft hazel eyes.
"I respect him; he's a good person."
"You could say that about Dumbledore or Flitwick for Christ's sake and I should hope you're not planning to marry them any time soon! Is that enough for you - respect?"
"It's better than I got from you!" she cried out, and despite her intention to keep her emotions under control, anger raced through her as she faced him. "I got love from you, didn't I? Kisses and promises that made my head swim! Oh, what a fool I was because what I didn't get from you was respect!"
He bowed his head, taking the force of her wrath, as he would submit to a rightful judgment. But he could not let it all go.
"All right, I was wrong - I've admitted that. But I want to tell you two things, Hermione Terra Morgan."
"What could you tell me that I would possibly want to hear?"
"When I first came back after meeting Cecily, whom I was obligated to marry, it was all a hoax because I didn't want you to have to go through the pain of having someone who loved you being the one who destroyed your heart! Then I got to realizing that I needed to end one of the relationships, but by that time someone probably happened to tell you what was going on when I had fully intended on choosing you - it wasn't a pretense."
She laughed harshly and then said mockingly, "Oh don't tell me that you were really going to pick me over your whore! I'm not as gullible as I was then Draco!"
He shrugged and said, "All right, think what you will, but I'm telling you the truth. The other thing, Hermione, is that even if I am the world's biggest hypocrite and liar, that's no excuse for you to run away from love."
"You don't know what love is!"
"I know one thing - love is not cold!"
A streak of anger ran through him, and he caught her wrist as she turned to leave. "You can't bear the truth, can you? But you're going to hear it this once!"
"Let go of me!"
He ignored all of her struggles and taking her other arm, held her fast. "Rogue I am and will probably always be, Hermione - liar, traitor, manslayer! But I tell you this one thing, when I kissed you in the hall that day, it was not treason! It was the beginning of something I'd never known. I'd kissed other women, some almost as beautiful as you, but there's something in you that held me!" He forced himself to speak quietly, but there was intensity in his smoky gray eyes that held her fixated in his grasp.
"You are a woman of morality and logic," he continued. "But you are flesh and blood, as you found out when I kissed you. Can you deny it?"
She whispered, "You taunt me with that?"
"No! You were honest then - but you are not now."
"I am!"
He shook her like a reed and said passionately, "You are not! How can you be honest and marry a man you don't even love? Marriage is not spirit; it's flesh and blood Hermione! And you were more honest then than you are now."
"It's a lie!" she whispered. "I don't want that sort of thing!"
He suddenly pulled her closer, saying, "You're afraid of love - that's why you're afraid of me now!"
She braced herself against him, her face pale in the flickering yellow lights of Hogwarts. Desperately she cried out, "I'm not! I'm not afraid of love - not of you either!"
He had no hopes, but he had a strong memory of her from the past, fragrant and clear as a flower. He would never have her, but he hated to see her turn into a dry-lipped, sour person. He pulled her forward until the soft curves of her body pressed against him, and whispered, "Is this what you're afraid of Hermione?" and then he gathered her closer until they made one shadow on the ground. (Author's Note: get your minds out of the gutter here if you're thinking something that I didn't say!!!)
She uttered one short cry before his lips silenced her, and she beat his back with her fists, but she might as well have beaten on a rock. Furiously she struggled, kicking at his legs with all her might, but he swung her around and trapped her against the tree so that she could not move.
His lips were hard against hers, and there was no gentleness in him. His muscular arms pulled her even closer and she stopped struggling. Her hands rose involuntarily and rested on his neck, and she was aware of nothing but the pressure of his lips and the warmth of his body against hers.
Then he lifted his head, and whispered, "Never be afraid of what you are feeling right now."
She came to herself with a jerk, and her cheeks flushed as she pushed him away. With a trembling voice she said, "You're stronger than I am - that's - that's all you've proved! You think all you have to do is touch a girl, and no matter who she is, she'll fall in love with you!" She was close to tears, but she bit her lip and made herself say coldly, "I've asked you to leave me alone, and you take advantage of me the first chance you get. Is there no honor in you, Draco Malfoy?"
He saw that she was locked in, incapable of understanding anything he might say. He nodded once, and said, "Don't marry a man who can't make you angry - or one who can't stir your blood."
"I'm marrying Justin Finch-Fletchley," she said steadily. "Please don't ever make any of your foolish advances to me again!"
"I can promise you that," he said quietly. He stepped back, and she walked back to the castle, walking unsteadily up the stairs to the door and out of his life.
She had to tell Justin of her decision before another thing happened. She started to run to the Hufflepuff Common Room, but didn't have to go all the way because she conveniently ran into him (literally.)
Helping her off her feet Justin asked, "Hermione, are you all right?" She nodded, but then Justin noticed the oddity of the situation, "What are you doing all the way up here at this time of night?"
"Justin I had to tell you something important and I needed to get it off my chest as soon as I could."
"Yes, what is it?" he asked quickly, hoping that she was referring to her answer to his question.
"I have thought and thought about it almost constantly and I have reached my decision about your proposal."
"Yes?" Justin was waiting with baited breath as Hermione built up the anticipation and was drawing the last moments out painfully slow.
"I've decided that . . . I . . . I will marry you."
"You will?" Justin's face had lit up like Christmas was coming early this year at hearing her words.
"I will."
"Oh Hermione! You don't know how happy you've made me!" he exclaimed as he hugged her tightly to him and then kissed her cheek.
"I'm sorry, but that's all I came to do because I need to be off to bed now . . . I'm dreadfully tired, but now I can sleep in peace."
"All right. Goodnight my sweet Hermione," he said and then gave her a light peck on the lips.
"Pleasant dreams Justin," said Hermione somewhat monotonously as she began to walk away, Justin either didn't notice her tone, did and took it as she was tired, or noticed it and didn't say anything about it.
As Hermione entered her room about three and a half minutes later she thought to herself, 'What have I gotten myself into?'
Author's Note: I know that some of you might be getting really pissed off about now because Hermione just did what she did, but fear not, what is supposed to happen, will happen. I'm going to do thank yous in the next chapter, so if you want me to answer a question or something, try to get in you reviews before I post the next chapter!
LinNicole, one of my most faithful reviewers, brought an important point into my view in chapter 13 so I thought I would answer her review right now. I know that in chapter 12, Hermione was raped and that I really haven't focused on that issue yet. I believe that rape is a really serious problem and that it should not be taken lightly, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with not addressing that topic. I was planning to do that in a later chapter, but when I read your review LinNicole, I felt that I should put something about how Hermione was affected by being raped, and I hope that that little section with Harry helps give everyone just a glimpse at how Hermione really feels about having been raped by someone that she will never be able to bring to justice (which is why this chapter is so long.) I thank you for being one of my most loyal readers, you don't know how much that swells my head up with pride (metaphorically speaking,) and it's great to know that you have taken the time to read my story.
Anyways, please review, give me any thoughts or suggestions that you may have, and I will see what I can do!