Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho or any anime characters that make
special guest appearances.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Remember, don't take Hiei's advice seriously I mean, remember what he has been through as a child and you can see why he is like he is. Okay, now that you've had a flashback sequence go through your brain, return, return.... *Pulls out mall directory* You are here.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
~Radio Commercial~
Watching your child grow up: Priceless...
Your child becoming a teenager: Frustrating
Teaching your child how to drive: Heart wrenching
Giving your child the sex talk: Embarrassing
Finding out your child does drugs: Disappointing
Buying a credit card to buy everything for your child's needs and wants: SELL YOUR SOUL!
Buy a Master Card!
~End of Radio Commercial~
~Radio Commercial~
Man: Relive the amazing story of a movie you once loved. A movie that filled your heart with joy and love, a movie called The Wizard of Oz. But now watch the new, fully re-mastered version of "The Ghetto Wizard of Oz" coming to theaters. A full star cast including...
Mariah Carey as... Dorothy Boy George as... The Tin Man Christopher Walken as... The Scarecrow Micheal Jackson as... The Lion Verne Troyer (Mini Me) as... Todo Lisa Kudrow as... Glenda The American Juniors as... The Munchkins Hilary Clinton as... The Wicked Witch of the West Drew Carey as... The Flying Monkeys (all 1,000,000,000 of them) Gilbert Godfre(Problem Child) as... The Ghetto Wizard of Oz
Coming summer 2004
~End of Radio Commercial~
Announcement: (Scream voice) What's your favorite radio show? I don't believe I've heard of that term before. (Clip from Song) I know you like this dirty pop, this must be... (Brain's voice) Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? (Little boy's voice) Think of love as your urinary track, when you drink a cup of chocolate milk it's like your in love and when your going pee, that's when the romance ends! (Clip from song) I just can't get you out of my head, boy your lovin' is all I think about... Hour of Love with Hiei Love, now you know you've reached limbo.
Hiei: I'm Hiei Love at ninety-nine point nine, The Yu! An hour of hopeless devoted love sicken, boat riding, kissy kissy, advice from yours six feet under to you the ummmm viewers, yes, that's what your called!
*I Care 4 You by Aaliyah starts*
*I Care 4 You ends*
*Here With Me by Dido starts*
*Here With Me ends*
Hiei: *Being forced to say this* We play the best love music on your radio. *Long pause* Tonight unfortunately has a theme, love! Let's jump straight to the first caller of the night. You're on the air...
Governor Schwarzenegger: *excited voice* I want to grope you Hiei! *Hangs up*
Hiei: ... Hn...
Intern: Wow, Hiei Love, we're famous!
Hiei: [BLEEEEEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEP]!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP stupid ex-Dell intern!
Misty: "Hi Hiei Love just wondering why are you doing a Love Advice show anyway? Tell me please cause I like you better being Double O Hiei!? Oh ya the love question thing, My father wants me to marry a guy he's 27 and rich BUT I"M ONLY 13!What should I do? Kill my dad or something? Or kill the guy?"
Hiei: Yes... Double O Hiei that was my name before Ubaba stole it from me... "Green Fried Tomatoes" watch and learn! *Evil laugh*
Misty: So that is it?
Hiei: Don't forget to Mooch off of his big ol' bank account before you decide to.... JUST WATCH AND LEARN!!! Next caller...
Ryou: "Is it ok to love two men at the same time from??"
Hiei: From?
Ryou: I can't explain any further, just help me please, I feel.... so naughty and helpless.
Hiei: Incest is WRONG! Hello, you're on the air with Hiei Love.
Kuwabara: Not that I need your help, I just need help cause you help the helpless!
Hiei: .... *The noise of a sword being sharpened can be heard*
Kuwabara: "Hey shrimp, I don't think Yukina realizes I love her, what should I do?!"
Hiei: I created a song *sings* If you finger got cut off, raise your stub, if you finger got cut off, raise your stub, if you finger got cut off and you bleed all on yourself, then your finger got cut off so raise your stub.
Kuwabara: What is that suppose to do with helping me?
Hiei: *still singing* If your leg is broken now, lift your leg, if your leg is broken now, lift your leg, if your leg is broken now and the bone is sticking out, then your leg is broken now so lift your leg. If your guts are hanging out, push them in, if your guts are hanging out, push them in, if your guts are hanging out and you show them to your friend, then your guts are sticking out so push them in. If your head got chopped off, you are dead, if your head got chopped off, you are dead, if your head got chopped off and your body hits the floor, then your head got chopped off so you are dead.
Kuwabara: EH? Well why would you want me to sing about killing, is that the way to a woman's heart?
Hiei: No you incompetent and ignorant jackass, that is what I will do to you if you call here again and trust me, it won't be as happy as the song makes it seem... Let's listen to something more, let's just listen to music.
*Ashita e no Melody by CHAKA starts*
*Ashita e no Melody ends*
Hiei: Your still here... at The Yu at ninety-nine point nine.
Rumi: "If a guy likes a guy but that guy likes you, but you don't want anything to do with the guy who likes you but you are in mad love with the guy who likes him, what do you do?"
Hiei: Kill people with the perfect body parts and make yourself a new best friend.
Rumi: But...
Hiei: What you want better advice?
Rumi: Yes please...
Hiei: One word, dominatrix! ... *Yawn*
Rumi: What will that do the guy I like and for me?
Hiei: *Hangs up on Rumi* Hn. Hello?
Alex: Hello Hiei Love! I've got a question for you.
Hiei: Spill it. BARK, do whatever your kind does.
Alex: "What if I said that I just broke up with my boyfriend, who was sweet, funny...fat. And I like my best friends ex and my other best friends ex and I can't chose, the first guy probably doesn't know I'm alive, and the second guy probably doesn't know I'm alive either. What should I do?"
Hiei: Gain 200 pounds, then they'll have no choice but to notice you and you can sit on them. Remember, fast food goes straight to your ass. I'll be back with more advice to make your ma ma scream after this commercial break.
~Radio Commercial~
*On death row*
Man: Hey are you dying?
Convicted felon: I'm gonna be frying.
Man: You lying?
Convicted felon: I'm crying
Man: Doing my best to make you feel better, well trying
Advertiser: Even good foot soles can help a felon feel their best jellen before their brain becomes melon cause there is no tellen when sellen drugs in Magellan could send you to jail like Ellen who is the felon and soon will be yellen.
~End of Radio Commercial
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
diamonddustx: Hmmm.... Now imagine Hiei in a strawberry suit, don't ask me why cause I don't know why... Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I know it wasn't that long if you don't count the commercials, but send more, more questions! Please Review!
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
Remember, don't take Hiei's advice seriously I mean, remember what he has been through as a child and you can see why he is like he is. Okay, now that you've had a flashback sequence go through your brain, return, return.... *Pulls out mall directory* You are here.
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
~Radio Commercial~
Watching your child grow up: Priceless...
Your child becoming a teenager: Frustrating
Teaching your child how to drive: Heart wrenching
Giving your child the sex talk: Embarrassing
Finding out your child does drugs: Disappointing
Buying a credit card to buy everything for your child's needs and wants: SELL YOUR SOUL!
Buy a Master Card!
~End of Radio Commercial~
~Radio Commercial~
Man: Relive the amazing story of a movie you once loved. A movie that filled your heart with joy and love, a movie called The Wizard of Oz. But now watch the new, fully re-mastered version of "The Ghetto Wizard of Oz" coming to theaters. A full star cast including...
Mariah Carey as... Dorothy Boy George as... The Tin Man Christopher Walken as... The Scarecrow Micheal Jackson as... The Lion Verne Troyer (Mini Me) as... Todo Lisa Kudrow as... Glenda The American Juniors as... The Munchkins Hilary Clinton as... The Wicked Witch of the West Drew Carey as... The Flying Monkeys (all 1,000,000,000 of them) Gilbert Godfre(Problem Child) as... The Ghetto Wizard of Oz
Coming summer 2004
~End of Radio Commercial~
Announcement: (Scream voice) What's your favorite radio show? I don't believe I've heard of that term before. (Clip from Song) I know you like this dirty pop, this must be... (Brain's voice) Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? (Little boy's voice) Think of love as your urinary track, when you drink a cup of chocolate milk it's like your in love and when your going pee, that's when the romance ends! (Clip from song) I just can't get you out of my head, boy your lovin' is all I think about... Hour of Love with Hiei Love, now you know you've reached limbo.
Hiei: I'm Hiei Love at ninety-nine point nine, The Yu! An hour of hopeless devoted love sicken, boat riding, kissy kissy, advice from yours six feet under to you the ummmm viewers, yes, that's what your called!
*I Care 4 You by Aaliyah starts*
*I Care 4 You ends*
*Here With Me by Dido starts*
*Here With Me ends*
Hiei: *Being forced to say this* We play the best love music on your radio. *Long pause* Tonight unfortunately has a theme, love! Let's jump straight to the first caller of the night. You're on the air...
Governor Schwarzenegger: *excited voice* I want to grope you Hiei! *Hangs up*
Hiei: ... Hn...
Intern: Wow, Hiei Love, we're famous!
Hiei: [BLEEEEEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEP]!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHUT UP stupid ex-Dell intern!
Misty: "Hi Hiei Love just wondering why are you doing a Love Advice show anyway? Tell me please cause I like you better being Double O Hiei!? Oh ya the love question thing, My father wants me to marry a guy he's 27 and rich BUT I"M ONLY 13!What should I do? Kill my dad or something? Or kill the guy?"
Hiei: Yes... Double O Hiei that was my name before Ubaba stole it from me... "Green Fried Tomatoes" watch and learn! *Evil laugh*
Misty: So that is it?
Hiei: Don't forget to Mooch off of his big ol' bank account before you decide to.... JUST WATCH AND LEARN!!! Next caller...
Ryou: "Is it ok to love two men at the same time from??"
Hiei: From?
Ryou: I can't explain any further, just help me please, I feel.... so naughty and helpless.
Hiei: Incest is WRONG! Hello, you're on the air with Hiei Love.
Kuwabara: Not that I need your help, I just need help cause you help the helpless!
Hiei: .... *The noise of a sword being sharpened can be heard*
Kuwabara: "Hey shrimp, I don't think Yukina realizes I love her, what should I do?!"
Hiei: I created a song *sings* If you finger got cut off, raise your stub, if you finger got cut off, raise your stub, if you finger got cut off and you bleed all on yourself, then your finger got cut off so raise your stub.
Kuwabara: What is that suppose to do with helping me?
Hiei: *still singing* If your leg is broken now, lift your leg, if your leg is broken now, lift your leg, if your leg is broken now and the bone is sticking out, then your leg is broken now so lift your leg. If your guts are hanging out, push them in, if your guts are hanging out, push them in, if your guts are hanging out and you show them to your friend, then your guts are sticking out so push them in. If your head got chopped off, you are dead, if your head got chopped off, you are dead, if your head got chopped off and your body hits the floor, then your head got chopped off so you are dead.
Kuwabara: EH? Well why would you want me to sing about killing, is that the way to a woman's heart?
Hiei: No you incompetent and ignorant jackass, that is what I will do to you if you call here again and trust me, it won't be as happy as the song makes it seem... Let's listen to something more, let's just listen to music.
*Ashita e no Melody by CHAKA starts*
*Ashita e no Melody ends*
Hiei: Your still here... at The Yu at ninety-nine point nine.
Rumi: "If a guy likes a guy but that guy likes you, but you don't want anything to do with the guy who likes you but you are in mad love with the guy who likes him, what do you do?"
Hiei: Kill people with the perfect body parts and make yourself a new best friend.
Rumi: But...
Hiei: What you want better advice?
Rumi: Yes please...
Hiei: One word, dominatrix! ... *Yawn*
Rumi: What will that do the guy I like and for me?
Hiei: *Hangs up on Rumi* Hn. Hello?
Alex: Hello Hiei Love! I've got a question for you.
Hiei: Spill it. BARK, do whatever your kind does.
Alex: "What if I said that I just broke up with my boyfriend, who was sweet, funny...fat. And I like my best friends ex and my other best friends ex and I can't chose, the first guy probably doesn't know I'm alive, and the second guy probably doesn't know I'm alive either. What should I do?"
Hiei: Gain 200 pounds, then they'll have no choice but to notice you and you can sit on them. Remember, fast food goes straight to your ass. I'll be back with more advice to make your ma ma scream after this commercial break.
~Radio Commercial~
*On death row*
Man: Hey are you dying?
Convicted felon: I'm gonna be frying.
Man: You lying?
Convicted felon: I'm crying
Man: Doing my best to make you feel better, well trying
Advertiser: Even good foot soles can help a felon feel their best jellen before their brain becomes melon cause there is no tellen when sellen drugs in Magellan could send you to jail like Ellen who is the felon and soon will be yellen.
~End of Radio Commercial
~^~^~^~^~^~^~
diamonddustx: Hmmm.... Now imagine Hiei in a strawberry suit, don't ask me why cause I don't know why... Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I know it wasn't that long if you don't count the commercials, but send more, more questions! Please Review!