Lily awoke to the sound of an owl starching on the window beside the bed she was sleeping on. She got up and opened the window, careful not to wake Bella, who was sleeping in a bed across the room, and untied the letter from the owl's leg, whom she recognised as James's:-
Lily
Please don't be mad at me. I want to make one thing clear. I really was worried about you. I just went about it in the wrong way. Like I always do. I always stuff everything up Lily, and not just with you. Everything.
As I said a week ago, I have been a jerk to you since we met. And what gets me is that I don't even remember why. It's stupid and immature, but that is exactly who I am.
I'm afraid of growing up. I'm afraid to face what meets us after we leave Hogwarts, or even when we are attending it. I'm afraid to leave my family. I'm afraid to be out on my own. But mainly, I'm afraid to fall in love.
But the stupid thing is, I already have. With you.
But it's ok Lily, I know you don't love me back, or even like me at all. But I also know that I am head over heels in love with you.
Lily, I don't know why I'm writing this, but I have, and if you've read this far, I'd be very surprised, as you hate me, and with very good reason, too.
But if you have read this far, I'm letting you know I'll keep out of your life, if that's what you want. And I highly doubt that it isn't.
Goodbye,
James.
Lily stood in Bella's room, shocked.
'I never knew James could be so…caring…romantic…modest' Lily thought.
Lily sat down on the bed she was using. She felt, for the hundredth time that week, suddenly overwhelmed.
Zani was presumed dead. All her friends were miserable. And James thought she hated him.
Lily looked around the room. Bella's mother, Nina, had lain out two skirts and two tops for Lily and Bella. Both black.
Lily felt a tear trickle down her cheek. Today was the memorial service for Zani. As they had no body, they couldn't hold a burial ceremony.
Lily had been trying to tell everyone that Zani was ok, she had only been gone a week, but in her hearts of hearts, she knew that even if Zani was alive, she was probably worse than dead.
Lily suddenly burst into tears. Bella woke at the sound of her sobbing uncontrollably.
"Lils…Lily…shhhhh…" Bella said soothingly, although not really feeling as though she should.
"B…Bella, everything so bloody stuffed up!" Lily cried, and flopped down on her bed.
"Lil, I know that, but I really don't think that's the reason you suddenly started crying! The only time you've actually cried this week was after your fight with James-''
"Are you trying to say I don't care that Zani is dead?" Lily retorted angrily.
"NO! I'm saying that I think you're-''
"An insensitive bitch? Is that what I am? Just because I can't cry?" Lily shouted.
"LILY JUST SHUT UP FOR A MINUTE! I AM NOT SAYING THAT! I'M SAYING THAT I THINK YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH JAMES!" Bella shouted back, stunning Lily, at first, then causing her to cry and run from the room, dropping James' letter, which she had been holding the whole time. Bella read it with wide eyes, and ran after Lily.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Will you fall for me
The way I'd like you to
Will you fall for me
The way I've fallen for you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
James was sitting in his room with the light turned off, while Sirius was in the shower.
'What if I just made a huge mistake?' James thought miserably.
Sirius walked into the room, and turned on the light. He was extremely shocked to find James lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling.
"Mate, what are you doing?" Sirius asked his best friend.
"Thinking" James replied simply, without looking at Sirius.
"Right…mate we've got to get to the service. It's in a muggle cemetery, don't want to attract to much attention" Sirius told him.
James made an odd noise, which sounded like a "piss off".
"Fine, James don't come. Goodbye" Sirius said stiffly.
Sirius walked out and slammed the door, leaving James to ponder his thoughts alone.
James got off his bed and walked over to his mirror. He looked at himself with disgust.
'Why am I such an idiot?' James thought. 'I stuff up everything. Sirius has got to hate me now too. Everyone hates me. Because I'm a stupid jerk'.
James turned away from the mirror, and saw the black clothes lain out on his bed.
'I have to go. I'm being selfish and a jerk. Zani was my friend' James thought.
James quickly got dressed, and ran out of the bedroom.
"Padfoot, wait!" James called, and Sirius, who had been about to walk out the door, turned around to see James standing there.
"So, you decided to come huh?" Sirius asked rather coldly.
"Sirius, I'm sorry, I've been a jerk to everyone the past week, especially you. Mate I'm sorry" James said, waiting for Sirius' reaction.
"S'ok mate" Sirius said, and they shared a quick hug.
"Let's go" James said, and they went out the door. *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"LILY!" Bella yelled. "LILY WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?"
Bella ran down the stairs to find Lily slumped on the floor against the wall, still crying.
"Lily, come on, we've got to go" Bella said, trying to stop Lily crying.
"Shut up Bella! I hate you! You are the biggest bitch I know! Leave me alone!" Lily screamed at Bella.
Bella was taken aback at Lily's outburst, and she herself began to cry.
"Fine Lily, be like that. But don't come crying to me when you want someone to comfort you!" Bella shouted and turned around, ready to walk out the door, when she heard a knock on the door.
Bella turned back and glared at Lily, then opened the door. She screamed at the sight of the person that was standing on her doorstep.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* That's it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please review!!!!!
P.S. The song in that chapter was Will You Fall For Me by Delta Goodrem.
jellybeanqueen