*** CONGRATULATIONS! ***
You are now the proud owner of your very own JACK KELLY! Please follow
the procedures detailed in this manual in order to use your cowboy to his
full potential.
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: Jack Kelly (aka Francis Sullivan; Cowboy; Jacky-boy; and alotta
utta things)
Type: Human (male)
Manufacturer: Sullivan Industries
Height: 5' 10
Weight: 130lbs
INSTALLATION
When you open the crate your JACK model is shipped in, don't be alarmed
if he's lying there looking rather dead. Just poke him in the side and
ignore his banter about you being "mad". He's not insulting you. After
getting him up, point him to the washroom and he'll come out a minute
later singing and dressed for the day.
ACCESSORIES
Your JACK comes equipped with the following items:
(a) cowboy hat (that is to only be worn when he comes in contact with a
SPOT model or rescuing a fellow NEWSIES model from jail)
(b) Western Jim Santa Fe pamphlet
© cigarettes (only to be smoked at night during a riot)
(d) a SARAH model
***WARNING*** If your JACK comes with a "scab" suit, please dispose of it
immediately! You do not want other NEWSIES models (especially a SPOT
model) to come by your house and attack your JACK because they think he's
a scab.
***NOTE*** If you plan on being your Jack model's 'one and only', quickly
dispose of the SARAH model as fast as you can!!!
OPERATING PROCEDURE
Let's face it, your JACK isn't all that bright, but we've listed a few
helpful things he's actually good at.
Defender
When it comes to defending kids, handicap people, or damsels in distress,
the JACK model is perfect for any situation! His fists are always ready
for a showdown.
Cowboy
The JACK model really lives up to his nickname! Not only is your JACK an
accomplished horse rider, but also good at twirling a rope. He'll take
you on horse rides through narrow streets on darkened nights and sing
songs of the Old West to you under the stars.
***CAUTION*** Don't be alarmed if you are attacked by rodeo gypsies
wielding guns. Your JACK most likely stole their horse right in front of
them and they just want it back. Make sure you and your JACK lay quickly
flat on the ground until the gypsies depart.
Dynamic Speaker
We think it's common knowledge that the JACK model has a big mouth. But
teamed up with a DAVID model, your JACK will deliver extraordinary pep
talks to school sports teams and other groups who such as Union workers
who've recently have had a disagreement with the management of their
workplace. Just let a DAVID model write your JACK'S speeches and his
audience will be whipped into a frenzy soaking anyone who dares to not
join them.
CLEANING
Your JACK can get pretty dusty and sweaty when he's living up to his full
potential, so it's efficient to remind him to use the washroom as often
as possible. Supply him also with a shaving kit. It's true, he'll never
even have an inch of stubble, but shaving will keep your JACK's
confidence on a high.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: A scary bald man with freaky blue eyes keeps peeking in my windows and
approaches me in my yard asking if he could visit my JACK. Who is this
man and should I let him visit?
A: Absolutely NOT! This is an evil model called WARDEN SNYDER. He has an
obsession over your JACK and will not stop until he gets his clutches
into him! Protect your JACK by kicking this SNYDER in the face on a swing
or by flashing a camera in his face. If that doesn't work, hide your JACK
with the local JACOBS model family then call the police!!!
Q: My JACK looks longingly at the sunrise every morning and sings over
and over about Santa Fe. Then he goes out at night in a desperate search
for a TEDDY ROOSOVELT model to take him to the train station. What do I
do?
A: You might want to think about taking a trip to Santa FE, NM. Your JACK
has a longing for this place where he's never actually been. Taking a
trip there will ease his yearning for it. You don't have to worry about
him staying; your JACK will always come back to you with an excuse of
having "family heah".
Q: My JACK has taken up swing dancing and has made friends with a guy
named Peter. Now he's changed his name to Thomas, has become extremely
obnoxious, and wants to join a German soldier organization. Should I let
him?
A: By all mean NO! Your JACK has been influenced to think he's a THOMAS
model from Swing Kids. Immediately stop contact with this PETER model.
Even though the PETER model is a very nice person, he'll indirectly get
your JACK into a heap of trouble with this German organization that he
will not be able to get out of.
TROUBLE SHOOTING
Problem: Every time you go to a drive-up fast food place your JACK model
knocks on the window and says real annoyingly, "Weasel." Then when the
fast food worker opens the window, your JACK grabs the bag out of their
hand rudely.
Solution: This behavior will not change. It's a routine for your JACK
programmed into him. We suggest not to take your JACK to the drive up
anymore.
Problem: Your JACK keeps beating up guys named Morris or Oscar or
Delancey.
Solution: Your JACK is getting confused about whom to beat the living
daylights out of. Just find a DELANCEY BROTHER model in the neighborhood
and let your JACK go!
FINAL NOTE
We hope you enjoy your JACK KELLY model to the fullest! Remember we do
not give refunds!
You are now the proud owner of your very own JACK KELLY! Please follow
the procedures detailed in this manual in order to use your cowboy to his
full potential.
TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS
Name: Jack Kelly (aka Francis Sullivan; Cowboy; Jacky-boy; and alotta
utta things)
Type: Human (male)
Manufacturer: Sullivan Industries
Height: 5' 10
Weight: 130lbs
INSTALLATION
When you open the crate your JACK model is shipped in, don't be alarmed
if he's lying there looking rather dead. Just poke him in the side and
ignore his banter about you being "mad". He's not insulting you. After
getting him up, point him to the washroom and he'll come out a minute
later singing and dressed for the day.
ACCESSORIES
Your JACK comes equipped with the following items:
(a) cowboy hat (that is to only be worn when he comes in contact with a
SPOT model or rescuing a fellow NEWSIES model from jail)
(b) Western Jim Santa Fe pamphlet
© cigarettes (only to be smoked at night during a riot)
(d) a SARAH model
***WARNING*** If your JACK comes with a "scab" suit, please dispose of it
immediately! You do not want other NEWSIES models (especially a SPOT
model) to come by your house and attack your JACK because they think he's
a scab.
***NOTE*** If you plan on being your Jack model's 'one and only', quickly
dispose of the SARAH model as fast as you can!!!
OPERATING PROCEDURE
Let's face it, your JACK isn't all that bright, but we've listed a few
helpful things he's actually good at.
Defender
When it comes to defending kids, handicap people, or damsels in distress,
the JACK model is perfect for any situation! His fists are always ready
for a showdown.
Cowboy
The JACK model really lives up to his nickname! Not only is your JACK an
accomplished horse rider, but also good at twirling a rope. He'll take
you on horse rides through narrow streets on darkened nights and sing
songs of the Old West to you under the stars.
***CAUTION*** Don't be alarmed if you are attacked by rodeo gypsies
wielding guns. Your JACK most likely stole their horse right in front of
them and they just want it back. Make sure you and your JACK lay quickly
flat on the ground until the gypsies depart.
Dynamic Speaker
We think it's common knowledge that the JACK model has a big mouth. But
teamed up with a DAVID model, your JACK will deliver extraordinary pep
talks to school sports teams and other groups who such as Union workers
who've recently have had a disagreement with the management of their
workplace. Just let a DAVID model write your JACK'S speeches and his
audience will be whipped into a frenzy soaking anyone who dares to not
join them.
CLEANING
Your JACK can get pretty dusty and sweaty when he's living up to his full
potential, so it's efficient to remind him to use the washroom as often
as possible. Supply him also with a shaving kit. It's true, he'll never
even have an inch of stubble, but shaving will keep your JACK's
confidence on a high.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Q: A scary bald man with freaky blue eyes keeps peeking in my windows and
approaches me in my yard asking if he could visit my JACK. Who is this
man and should I let him visit?
A: Absolutely NOT! This is an evil model called WARDEN SNYDER. He has an
obsession over your JACK and will not stop until he gets his clutches
into him! Protect your JACK by kicking this SNYDER in the face on a swing
or by flashing a camera in his face. If that doesn't work, hide your JACK
with the local JACOBS model family then call the police!!!
Q: My JACK looks longingly at the sunrise every morning and sings over
and over about Santa Fe. Then he goes out at night in a desperate search
for a TEDDY ROOSOVELT model to take him to the train station. What do I
do?
A: You might want to think about taking a trip to Santa FE, NM. Your JACK
has a longing for this place where he's never actually been. Taking a
trip there will ease his yearning for it. You don't have to worry about
him staying; your JACK will always come back to you with an excuse of
having "family heah".
Q: My JACK has taken up swing dancing and has made friends with a guy
named Peter. Now he's changed his name to Thomas, has become extremely
obnoxious, and wants to join a German soldier organization. Should I let
him?
A: By all mean NO! Your JACK has been influenced to think he's a THOMAS
model from Swing Kids. Immediately stop contact with this PETER model.
Even though the PETER model is a very nice person, he'll indirectly get
your JACK into a heap of trouble with this German organization that he
will not be able to get out of.
TROUBLE SHOOTING
Problem: Every time you go to a drive-up fast food place your JACK model
knocks on the window and says real annoyingly, "Weasel." Then when the
fast food worker opens the window, your JACK grabs the bag out of their
hand rudely.
Solution: This behavior will not change. It's a routine for your JACK
programmed into him. We suggest not to take your JACK to the drive up
anymore.
Problem: Your JACK keeps beating up guys named Morris or Oscar or
Delancey.
Solution: Your JACK is getting confused about whom to beat the living
daylights out of. Just find a DELANCEY BROTHER model in the neighborhood
and let your JACK go!
FINAL NOTE
We hope you enjoy your JACK KELLY model to the fullest! Remember we do
not give refunds!