Disclaimer: I do not own M*A*S*H, I just play with the toys.
Please R+R!
But you're a girl - chapter two
'Well you just tell him to stop hitting you honey, hello? hello?' Henry was on the phone to his kids
'RADAR! The line just died'
'I'm sorry sir, the call maxed out; you only get two minutes in the system' Radar mumbled as he presented the commanding officer with more forms to sign.
'Hold on one second there, what am I signing?' enquired Henry
'Oh, these are the forms you need to sign in order to get the forms that enable us to order more forms sir' Radar replied.
Henry looked somewhat perplexed and all together confused.
'You don't understand all of this do you Radar?
'It helps not to sir, it slows up the work'
Apart from Hallwell's emergency pelvis case, things had gone very slowly that week, only four hours work for each surgeon. With all the bother of that mornings rush, Christmas had not reported to the CO's office. She could still be found at the swamp in the company of Pearce and McIntyre. As the morning was slow Hawkeye decided some fun and games were in order.
'No, you gotta hold it tighter, that's it now bite down, go on harder' Hawkeye shouted commands as Christmas leant over Trapper.
'I can't do it any harder' She giggled as she tried to transfer the olive that she had been biting into Trapper's mouth.
'This is a strange game Hawk, are you sure you have played this before?' Christmas enquired.
'Of course, we play this game all the time don't we Trap' Hawk grinned
'Oh yeah of course, but not normally with each other'
'Not interrupting anything am I boys' Henry had walked in on the fun and games. 'I'm waiting for the new surgeon to arrive, a Captain Hallwell'
'Erm, Henry..' Hawkeye started but he was interrupted.
'Yeah, this Hallwell fellow is meant to be the hottest thing to hit this camp since the new hot water boiler last winter' Henry went on. 'He must be a swell guy, really great with the gals'
'When did you say this Hallwell was meant to be here Henry' Trapper asked but the CO wasn't listening.
'Hope he plays golf, you know he pulled off an open-heart surgery in less then four hours Pearce, you to could be great working together' Henry jabbered.
'Funny you say that Henry' Hawkeye stood up and presented the captain. 'Henry, this is your new surgeon, Captain Hallwell, Captain Christmas Hallwell'
Henry's gaze span around until he meet the shinning eyes of Hallwell.
'But you're a gal' Henry stammered
'What did I tell you about Henry Christmas, on the ball as always' Hawkeye grinned.
'Christmas arrived with a casualty early this morning Henry' Trapper explained 'We've just been helping her settle in'
'Well then, RAA.' Henry started
'Yes Sir, I'll show Captain Hallwell to her tent' Radar cut in. 'would you like to follow me ma'am?'
'Why thank-you Corporal, I'm sorry, I don't know your name' Hallwell smiled.
'Corporal O' Riley ma'am, but everyone always calls me Radar' he mumbled. 'You'll be bunking with Major Houlihan, she's head of the nursing staff' he carried on explaining as he walked from the swamp with Hallwell.
'You seem to work very closely with Colonel Blake Corporal, do you enjoy what you do here?' enquired Christmas
'Very much so ma'am, only just last week, I got an award for best administrative clerk' Radar chimed. 'I am the only one but it was real nice all the same'
They continued across the compound until they reached the afore mentioned quarters. It was slightly dark inside, the thick walls of canvas allowed little light to penetrate them. The only light that was allowed to enter was from the messing and from the door panel. The air smelt a little musty from the sun drying the canvas of the rain the camp had received during the night. Radar weaved his way around the collection of chairs and placed the Captains duffel bag onto the spare cot.
'I hope you settle in nicely ma'am' Radar smiled.
'Thank you Radar, when will I meet Major Houlihan?' asked Christmas.
'Well, ah, it's the majors morning off so probably this afternoon' answered Radar as he checked his clipboard. 'She normally has Pre-op duty and she will be around in surgery'
Radar turned to leave but he stopped himself. 'Ma'am, may I just say how neat its going to be having a female surgeon around the place'
'Why thank-you Radar' smiled Hallwell.
Radar returned the smile and strolled from the tent back to his desk outside Henry's office.
This was it; Christmas still could not quite believe it. Her first real posting in Korea. She could not understand why she was nervous about having soldiers lives in her hands as she had done before a thousand times or more.
Christmas sat down on her cot and put her duffel bag next to her. As she looked around the tent, she noticed that she had an empty wardrobe and a bedside cabinet. Not exactly luxury but it was better then a kick in the teeth.
The first thing she took from her bag was a sliver-plate photo frame. Contained within it was a picture of her mother and father that had been taken on her fifth birthday. It was something about that picture that always brought a lump to her throat. Christmas took a deep breath and swallowed back a torrent of tears. She walked over to the best-side table and placed the photo frame lovingly upon it. Her gaze wondered back to her duffel bag and she forced herself to continue unpacking.
As she placed her arm into the canvas bag, her fingers hit upon a smooth satin. As she removed the item she smiled sadly to herself. They were the pair of pointe shoes that her mother had given her for her birthday. She cradled the ballet shoes in her hands and ran her finger up the rough grosgrain on the underside of the ribbon. Feeling that the memories that accompanied those shoes would defiantly make her cry, she wrapped them once more in the tissue paper they had fallen out of in her bag and placed them to one side.
As she rubbed her eye to remove a tear, there was a knock at the door.
'Come in' Christmas shouted as she swallowed another deep sigh.
It was Trapper, he entered the tent with a smile but when he caught sight of the captain's emotion, his expression changed to one of concern.
'Hey Christmas, you alright?' He asked sympathetically as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
'Oh, I'm fine' said Hallwell wiping her right eye again.
'It's just that picture' she said nodding to her bedside table 'It always gets me going, god it makes me feel stupid'
'Hey don't worry about it, being away from your family can be absolute murder on your heart' Trapper sympathized.
'Thanks Trap'
'Listen, its chow-time and I came over to ask if wanted to go eat' Trapper said brightly
'Sure, a little unpacking will just have to wait till later'
Christmas felt brighter now, she could see herself getting on well with Trapper and Pearce. She liked Radar and Henry Blake, she could have had an absolutely awful CO but the luck of the draw had defiantly been in her favour this time. The only bad feeling that she was left with was the one she had received from Frank Burns. He had been so cold with her, even though she had been completely GI with him; she could have just stepped out of the officer's manual.
As the two figures wondered towards the officer's mess, Hawkeye emerged from the swamp.
'Hey guys, wait for me' Hawk shouted 'Ah, I see our friendly neighbourhood watch man has cornered you Christmas, he'll be after Easter next!'
On hearing this Christmas turned to Hawkeye and administered a well-aimed slap on the back.
'Oww' Hawk complained. 'Trapper she hit me'
Trapper looked impressed. 'Where did a girl like you learn to hit like that?'
'At Med school, I used to box for St Georges. I was Home Counties champion at one point. That was before I moved to the States'
It was times like that when her English accent really did her justice.
'Now, I don't want you thinking that all English girls are violent now' Christmas quipped.
'Not if you're going to hit me again I wont' Hawkeye assured her as they joined the queue for the inexcusable substance that had seemed to replace really food.
They all picked up a tray each and continued along the line to see what delicacies were in store for them today.
'What have you got for us today Benny' Hawkeye asked the Cook
'Well, you have the choice between fish and potato, liver and potato, potato, or diderly squat' the cook replied.
'They are all so nice around here' Hawk added with a sarcastic tone to his voice.
The tables were pretty empty; many of the men were playing football in the compound.
'Hi Frank' Trapper trilled 'You were very rude to Captain Hallwell earlier'
'I have been waiting for the new surgeon to arrive all, he should be here by now' Frank moaned. 'I do have other things to be getting on with.
'Like playing a little doctor and nurse with Hotlips?' Hawkeye grinned.
'I hope you are going to be polite to Captain Hallwell when he gets here, you know he completed open heart surgery in under four hours?' Frank insisted.
'Yeah, so I've heard' Hawkeye replied. 'She may just put you to shame Frank'
'What do you mean She?' Frank was confused.
'Frank' Trapper started, 'May I have the pleasure of introducing Captain Hallwell, Captain Christmas Hallwell' as he indicted at Christmas with his left hand.
Frank was suddenly lost for words; he made an incomprehensible noise in his throat that sounded like a mouse being trodden on.
'It's a pleasure to meet you Major Burns' Christmas offered him her hand; Frank simply stared at it like it was the most repulsive he had ever witnessed.
'This is commonly known as a hand-shake Frank, it's a sign of friendship and warmth' Hawkeye explained to the empty air. 'Don't worry about Frank, he'll breathe in a minute'.
'Will you excuse me please' Frank mumbled as he hurried from the table. Christmas looked confused and a little reduced. She picked her fork but didn't start eating. Trapper could feel that this encounter had left her feeling deflated. Hawkeye placed his right arm around her shoulders as Christmas sighed deeply.
'Don't worry about Frank' Hawkeye said softly.
'Yeah, he's never happy; he's the camps anti-morale officer' Trapper chipped in.
'The only reason that he was drafted was to use to prop doors open' joked Hawk but he failed to make Christmas smile.
'Sorry guys, I'm just not hungry anymore' Christmas mumbled as she left the table and started across the compound.
Trapper started to go after her but he felt Hawk's hand on his shoulder forcing him back down.
'Leave her Trap' Hawkeye mumbled
'Leave her, are you crazy? She has faced more prejudice in this camp in six hours then anyone can stand in a life time' Trapper argued as he pushed his tray away from him and ran from the table to catch the figure of Captain Christmas Hallwell.
But you're a girl - chapter two
'Well you just tell him to stop hitting you honey, hello? hello?' Henry was on the phone to his kids
'RADAR! The line just died'
'I'm sorry sir, the call maxed out; you only get two minutes in the system' Radar mumbled as he presented the commanding officer with more forms to sign.
'Hold on one second there, what am I signing?' enquired Henry
'Oh, these are the forms you need to sign in order to get the forms that enable us to order more forms sir' Radar replied.
Henry looked somewhat perplexed and all together confused.
'You don't understand all of this do you Radar?
'It helps not to sir, it slows up the work'
Apart from Hallwell's emergency pelvis case, things had gone very slowly that week, only four hours work for each surgeon. With all the bother of that mornings rush, Christmas had not reported to the CO's office. She could still be found at the swamp in the company of Pearce and McIntyre. As the morning was slow Hawkeye decided some fun and games were in order.
'No, you gotta hold it tighter, that's it now bite down, go on harder' Hawkeye shouted commands as Christmas leant over Trapper.
'I can't do it any harder' She giggled as she tried to transfer the olive that she had been biting into Trapper's mouth.
'This is a strange game Hawk, are you sure you have played this before?' Christmas enquired.
'Of course, we play this game all the time don't we Trap' Hawk grinned
'Oh yeah of course, but not normally with each other'
'Not interrupting anything am I boys' Henry had walked in on the fun and games. 'I'm waiting for the new surgeon to arrive, a Captain Hallwell'
'Erm, Henry..' Hawkeye started but he was interrupted.
'Yeah, this Hallwell fellow is meant to be the hottest thing to hit this camp since the new hot water boiler last winter' Henry went on. 'He must be a swell guy, really great with the gals'
'When did you say this Hallwell was meant to be here Henry' Trapper asked but the CO wasn't listening.
'Hope he plays golf, you know he pulled off an open-heart surgery in less then four hours Pearce, you to could be great working together' Henry jabbered.
'Funny you say that Henry' Hawkeye stood up and presented the captain. 'Henry, this is your new surgeon, Captain Hallwell, Captain Christmas Hallwell'
Henry's gaze span around until he meet the shinning eyes of Hallwell.
'But you're a gal' Henry stammered
'What did I tell you about Henry Christmas, on the ball as always' Hawkeye grinned.
'Christmas arrived with a casualty early this morning Henry' Trapper explained 'We've just been helping her settle in'
'Well then, RAA.' Henry started
'Yes Sir, I'll show Captain Hallwell to her tent' Radar cut in. 'would you like to follow me ma'am?'
'Why thank-you Corporal, I'm sorry, I don't know your name' Hallwell smiled.
'Corporal O' Riley ma'am, but everyone always calls me Radar' he mumbled. 'You'll be bunking with Major Houlihan, she's head of the nursing staff' he carried on explaining as he walked from the swamp with Hallwell.
'You seem to work very closely with Colonel Blake Corporal, do you enjoy what you do here?' enquired Christmas
'Very much so ma'am, only just last week, I got an award for best administrative clerk' Radar chimed. 'I am the only one but it was real nice all the same'
They continued across the compound until they reached the afore mentioned quarters. It was slightly dark inside, the thick walls of canvas allowed little light to penetrate them. The only light that was allowed to enter was from the messing and from the door panel. The air smelt a little musty from the sun drying the canvas of the rain the camp had received during the night. Radar weaved his way around the collection of chairs and placed the Captains duffel bag onto the spare cot.
'I hope you settle in nicely ma'am' Radar smiled.
'Thank you Radar, when will I meet Major Houlihan?' asked Christmas.
'Well, ah, it's the majors morning off so probably this afternoon' answered Radar as he checked his clipboard. 'She normally has Pre-op duty and she will be around in surgery'
Radar turned to leave but he stopped himself. 'Ma'am, may I just say how neat its going to be having a female surgeon around the place'
'Why thank-you Radar' smiled Hallwell.
Radar returned the smile and strolled from the tent back to his desk outside Henry's office.
This was it; Christmas still could not quite believe it. Her first real posting in Korea. She could not understand why she was nervous about having soldiers lives in her hands as she had done before a thousand times or more.
Christmas sat down on her cot and put her duffel bag next to her. As she looked around the tent, she noticed that she had an empty wardrobe and a bedside cabinet. Not exactly luxury but it was better then a kick in the teeth.
The first thing she took from her bag was a sliver-plate photo frame. Contained within it was a picture of her mother and father that had been taken on her fifth birthday. It was something about that picture that always brought a lump to her throat. Christmas took a deep breath and swallowed back a torrent of tears. She walked over to the best-side table and placed the photo frame lovingly upon it. Her gaze wondered back to her duffel bag and she forced herself to continue unpacking.
As she placed her arm into the canvas bag, her fingers hit upon a smooth satin. As she removed the item she smiled sadly to herself. They were the pair of pointe shoes that her mother had given her for her birthday. She cradled the ballet shoes in her hands and ran her finger up the rough grosgrain on the underside of the ribbon. Feeling that the memories that accompanied those shoes would defiantly make her cry, she wrapped them once more in the tissue paper they had fallen out of in her bag and placed them to one side.
As she rubbed her eye to remove a tear, there was a knock at the door.
'Come in' Christmas shouted as she swallowed another deep sigh.
It was Trapper, he entered the tent with a smile but when he caught sight of the captain's emotion, his expression changed to one of concern.
'Hey Christmas, you alright?' He asked sympathetically as he placed a hand on her shoulder.
'Oh, I'm fine' said Hallwell wiping her right eye again.
'It's just that picture' she said nodding to her bedside table 'It always gets me going, god it makes me feel stupid'
'Hey don't worry about it, being away from your family can be absolute murder on your heart' Trapper sympathized.
'Thanks Trap'
'Listen, its chow-time and I came over to ask if wanted to go eat' Trapper said brightly
'Sure, a little unpacking will just have to wait till later'
Christmas felt brighter now, she could see herself getting on well with Trapper and Pearce. She liked Radar and Henry Blake, she could have had an absolutely awful CO but the luck of the draw had defiantly been in her favour this time. The only bad feeling that she was left with was the one she had received from Frank Burns. He had been so cold with her, even though she had been completely GI with him; she could have just stepped out of the officer's manual.
As the two figures wondered towards the officer's mess, Hawkeye emerged from the swamp.
'Hey guys, wait for me' Hawk shouted 'Ah, I see our friendly neighbourhood watch man has cornered you Christmas, he'll be after Easter next!'
On hearing this Christmas turned to Hawkeye and administered a well-aimed slap on the back.
'Oww' Hawk complained. 'Trapper she hit me'
Trapper looked impressed. 'Where did a girl like you learn to hit like that?'
'At Med school, I used to box for St Georges. I was Home Counties champion at one point. That was before I moved to the States'
It was times like that when her English accent really did her justice.
'Now, I don't want you thinking that all English girls are violent now' Christmas quipped.
'Not if you're going to hit me again I wont' Hawkeye assured her as they joined the queue for the inexcusable substance that had seemed to replace really food.
They all picked up a tray each and continued along the line to see what delicacies were in store for them today.
'What have you got for us today Benny' Hawkeye asked the Cook
'Well, you have the choice between fish and potato, liver and potato, potato, or diderly squat' the cook replied.
'They are all so nice around here' Hawk added with a sarcastic tone to his voice.
The tables were pretty empty; many of the men were playing football in the compound.
'Hi Frank' Trapper trilled 'You were very rude to Captain Hallwell earlier'
'I have been waiting for the new surgeon to arrive all, he should be here by now' Frank moaned. 'I do have other things to be getting on with.
'Like playing a little doctor and nurse with Hotlips?' Hawkeye grinned.
'I hope you are going to be polite to Captain Hallwell when he gets here, you know he completed open heart surgery in under four hours?' Frank insisted.
'Yeah, so I've heard' Hawkeye replied. 'She may just put you to shame Frank'
'What do you mean She?' Frank was confused.
'Frank' Trapper started, 'May I have the pleasure of introducing Captain Hallwell, Captain Christmas Hallwell' as he indicted at Christmas with his left hand.
Frank was suddenly lost for words; he made an incomprehensible noise in his throat that sounded like a mouse being trodden on.
'It's a pleasure to meet you Major Burns' Christmas offered him her hand; Frank simply stared at it like it was the most repulsive he had ever witnessed.
'This is commonly known as a hand-shake Frank, it's a sign of friendship and warmth' Hawkeye explained to the empty air. 'Don't worry about Frank, he'll breathe in a minute'.
'Will you excuse me please' Frank mumbled as he hurried from the table. Christmas looked confused and a little reduced. She picked her fork but didn't start eating. Trapper could feel that this encounter had left her feeling deflated. Hawkeye placed his right arm around her shoulders as Christmas sighed deeply.
'Don't worry about Frank' Hawkeye said softly.
'Yeah, he's never happy; he's the camps anti-morale officer' Trapper chipped in.
'The only reason that he was drafted was to use to prop doors open' joked Hawk but he failed to make Christmas smile.
'Sorry guys, I'm just not hungry anymore' Christmas mumbled as she left the table and started across the compound.
Trapper started to go after her but he felt Hawk's hand on his shoulder forcing him back down.
'Leave her Trap' Hawkeye mumbled
'Leave her, are you crazy? She has faced more prejudice in this camp in six hours then anyone can stand in a life time' Trapper argued as he pushed his tray away from him and ran from the table to catch the figure of Captain Christmas Hallwell.