Sarah wandered the garden for several hours after Jareth had left, trying to kill time before she had to go inside for dinner. If he were going to try and enchant her again, she wanted to avoid seeing his face, seeing possible guilt in his eyes. She didn't want to know he was turning on her until she had to.
The garden was still as riotous as it had been with Jareth there, the colors flashing in shades too vivid to be fully comprehended, but it was empty. It felt like much of the castle and Labyrinth had felt when she found herself walking alone--echoing, empty. It was beyond the emptiness of a normal deserted garden. At home, no garden was ever really empty; birds were always singing in the trees, swooping down to pluck an errant ladybird off of the petals of a flower. There was always the soughing of wind and the murmur of distant voices. But here, there was nothing except the soft whisper of her feet passing over the emerald grass.
"I wonder were all the robins are? And the chaffinches, and the sparrows, and the grackles. After all, there are always grackles somewhere." Sarah glanced around for the yellow-eyed black-feathered birds, but saw none.
"Well," she amended, continuing her walk through the garden, "I don't suppose an enchanted garden would have grackles in it. And of course this garden is enchanted--how else can I explain how the fruit on the trees don't have any holes in them? Even the best pesticides don't deter all the bugs and birds from having a taste of fresh fruit." Sarah reached up, plucking a handful of rich, purple-red cherries from a tree. "At home, these would be full of tiny bug-nibbles and bird-pecks." She popped one into her mouth, peeling the fruit from the seed with her tongue, then spitting the seed onto the emerald grass. "And they wouldn't taste so sweet, either."
Sarah finished her cherries, wiped her hands on the grass to try and remove most of the juice, then sighed.
"He has so much power here--even power to keep his garden perfect. Why doesn't he go find himself some beautiful princess, or if a princess won't come, a grand duchess? He's very handsome, and almost companionable. Any princess or duchess would be glad to stay here. But me? I'm just a little nobody, a high school Junior." She stopped walking, ticking her faults off on her fingers. "Too shy to join the Drama Club, too stupid to join the Academic Club, not talented enough to join the Cheerleading Squad, too fashionless to join the Fashion Club, too dull to join a Foreign Language club. I'm not strong-willed enough to join the Leadership Club, nor do I have to ability to join the Choir. I'm too clumsy to join the Dance Squad, too timid to run for Student Office, and too awkward to join any sports. I'm... oh." Sarah looked down at her hands, slowly realizing she'd run out of fingers to count her deficiencies on. "Well, that should prove that I'm the worst choice."
Her hands dropped to her sides, and she sighed. She knew she wasn't really any of those things anymore. She had only been Underground with Jareth for four days, but already she could see the differences in her personality that hadn't been there before. She had faced the Aljunnu, running back to help Jareth when she could have escaped. It took courage to do that, courage in amounts Sarah hadn't realized she'd possessed. She had become comfortable walking through the Labyrinth, a place that--only four days before--had scared her, intimidated her and made her feel small and useless.
"I'm not the same girl I once was," Sarah whispered softly, feeling a sinking in her stomach. Slow realization was dawning on her, and the knowledge it brought made her unhappy.
I didn't fit in back home before I ever wished Toby onto Jareth, she thought, her head bowed, dark hair falling like a silken curtain around her face. I was afraid I'd be even more odd after I rescued Toby... and now I've been here for four days. I've seen magickal things happen that just can't happen, and I've met creatures that can't possibly exist. Am I going to fit in at all back home now?
Sarah sat down on a patch of grass beneath a fruit tree, leaning her head back to stare into the sallow red sky. "Jareth keeps saying that this is my home... is that possible? Am I like a lost soul, someone who got put where they didn't belong? Like a hospital mixing up two babies, only in this mix-up, I ended up in the wrong dimension or something?" Sarah sighed, drawing her fingers through the luminescent grass by her leg. "Everything is so strange now. Ever since I called on Jareth nothing has seemed the same. Even I'm not the same. I don't recognize me anymore."
Sarah stopped, her mouth tightening faintly.
"Of course I recognize me." She held her hands up. "These are my hands, the same as they've always been, on the same wrists and arms. I'm still me, even if I'm Underground." She sighed, dropping her hands into her lap. "I want to be home again. I want my room."
Instantly, images of her room sprang into her head, making her throat ache with longing. Her own bed, her shelves covered in stuffed animals and trinkets, the pictures of her mother, her books...
"I can't stay here." The words came out a miserable whisper, her throat tight with pain. "I can't wait for Jareth to get tired of me, and I can't be patient any more. Hoggle said he'd mess up eventually, but I don't see what he could do that would make it possible for me to go home." Something tickled her cheek, and Sarah reached up to brush the tickle away, only to pull her hand away wet with tears. "I have to go home. Jareth will have to see that. I can't be happy here, knowing my family is worried about me, knowing that I was torn from my life. He has to realize that."
Sarah stood, giving her face a quick wipe to hide any tears, and headed resolutely for the palace. Upon walking into the long, stony hallways, Sarah stopped, tilting her head back to speak to the air around her.
"I want to go to Jareth." She started forward quickly, and in front of her the long hallway shimmered, twisting even as she watched. She took the turn that appeared out of the wall, and found herself at a staircase.
Would a ballroom be upstairs? she wondered absently, mounting the staircase with firm steps. I guess it doesn't matter in an enchanted castle. Ballrooms can be anywhere they like to. I wonder if it's a beautiful ballroom? Of course it would be... I'm almost sad I won't get to see it. It would be--
The thought was cut short as she made a weak noise of surprise. As she'd come to the top of the staircase, she'd seen a door. When she opened it, though, she was looking not into a huge ballroom or even another hallway, but into her very own room.
"What... no, I don't want to be here," Sarah gasped, almost offended. "Take me to Jareth."
She turned, headed back down the staircase. At the bottom, instead of a hallway, she found herself looking at another door. Upon opening it, she found herself once again staring into her own room, although always before her room had been up a flight of stairs, not down.
"No!" Sarah snarled, cheeks flushing with blood. "I want to go to the ballroom! Right now!"
She turned to go back up the staircase, but it was gone, replaced by a long hallway. She stormed down it, fairly trotting in her anger. At the end was another door. Her shoulders sagged as she realized what she would probably find upon opening the door.
"Why do you keep bringing me here?" Sarah asked the empty air wearily. There was no answer other than the door opening slowly in front of her, revealing her room. Sarah stepped up to the doorway to glance inside, hoping perhaps that the ballroom was--maybe, just maybe--attached to her room. She saw only her normal room, the candles on the walls just lighting.
How long have I been looking for the ballroom, anyway? It was only a few hours past lunch when I started in! Sarah thought absently as the last few candles lit themselves. Across from her, the wardrobe doors gave a little tremble, almost like a lady-in-waiting clearing her throat to get one's attention.
"Am I to dress for the ball then? I suppose Jareth and I will eat while we dance, balancing plates on our heads and cups on our noses?"
The wardrobe opened one door slightly, almost enticingly, and Sarah sighed, lifting her arms to the sides, making a 'T' with her body, eyes rolling Heavenward.
"All right. Go ahead--I know you've wanted to. Dress me like a doll. Do your magick."
She was shutting her eyes so she might be surprised, so she only caught the barest of glimpses when the wardrobe flung it's huge doors open. There was a violent flash of color like the garden's many colors, but silky and velvety and laced up and down at every angle. Then, Sarah's eyes were firmly shut and she saw nothing but sparkling after-images of colors on the blackness of her lids. She felt a whispering of wind about herself, like a teasing summer breeze, and heard the rustling of huge skirts. Her hair was lifted from her shoulders, and the dozy feeling always inspired by having her hair played with came over her, making her rock faintly on her feet. After a moment, though, she became aware that the little breeze was gone and the rustling of cloth had stopped. She peeked one eye, then the other opened, then quickly clamped them shut. She didn't want to look down and see the dress until she could see all of herself. Very slowly, she turned toward the vanity mirror, opening her eyes to look at herself, and her breath caught in her throat. Instantly, she remembered her thoughts from earlier.
Even I'm not the same. I don't recognize me anymore.
Her hair had been pulled back and was held high on her head, in a kind of Grecian-looking ponytail, long tendrils falling in curls down her neck. The dress was a work of magick in itself, a shimmering gown with long, open sleeves and a full pale blue skirt. The neckline was not immodest, but showed enough of her pale chest to bring a flush to her cheeks. Her feet, when she looked, were covered in tiny, beautiful shoes encrusted with sapphires and blue lace agates the exact color of her skirt. She looked terribly beautiful and fresh, and for a second she found herself almost wishing she could stay and truly be a princess.
But I can't. I have to go home. I have to. Instantly, the warm flush drained from her face, leaving her pale and resolute. The gown still shimmered, but now it shimmered like the steel of a knife blade and not like sunlight on a wild and untouched stream. She looked determined and resolute, which was exactly how she felt.
"We'll dance, Jareth," she said softly, turning to leave her room. "We'll dance... and then I'll go home. This is the end."