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But you're a girl - chapter six Torment and Degradation
'Sponge' Christmas asked the nurse as she held out her right hand.
'It had been a long shift' she thought to herself as the last of the shrapnel was removed from the patient's gut.
'Suture silk' Christmas mumbled as she creaked her neck from side to side to free the tension that had built up inside her shoulders and back.
The constant shelling the camp had received was not making her or anybody else's job any easier. To make matters worse, she had been assisting Major Burns the previous day in surgery when he had placed her on report for giving him the instrument he had asked for. As a result of the report, he had revoked her privileges as an officer and placed her on guard duty. Thirteen hours in surgery, eight hours of guard duty and ten minutes sleep had made her irritable and quiet. She really thought she had found her place in the sun at the 4077th but in had turned out to be a khaki hell on earth.
'Right, he's ready' Christmas exclaimed 'Put a finished label on him and send him to Tokyo'
She snapped off her gloves and threw them to the cluttered floor that showed the work of 16 hours of surgery.
'Kelly' Christmas turned to face an assisting nurse 'Gown and gloves please'
'There are no more casualties ma'am' the nurse replied in a soft tone.
'Come on Christmas' Trapper had approached Christmas and put her arm around her shoulders 'Let me buy you a drink'.
It was all Christmas could do was to smile and follow Trapper back out to the scrub room.
It was dark outside and as it was only 6:15, it was sign that winter had well and truly hit Korea with a bang. The crisp wind blew through Christmas as she wrapped her arms more tightly around herself. The pair ran across the compound and bowled into the Swamp, both collapsing onto Trappers cot in hits of hysteria. It took them a while to retain their composure before they realised that Hawkeye was probably asleep across the tent. Trapper looked up to see Hawkeye sitting in the chair next to his bed wearing his bathrobe.
'Hey kids' Hawk trilled 'good day at the office'
'Oh sorry Hawk, did we wake you?' Christmas was desperately trying to control herself but kept giggling.
'No it's ok, I slept before I left America' Hawkeye smiled reassuringly.
Trapper put his drink down and approached his bunkie as he put a hand to Hawk's forehead.
'How you feeling?' Trapper inquired as he took Hawk's pulse.
'I would feel better if I was allowed to go back to work, I'll tell you, all this rest is making me crazy!' Hawk snapped as Trap finished checking him over.
'You were very sick Hawk' Trapper replied 'You long over-due some R&R anyway'.
Hawk gave them both a knowing smile. 'Don't I know it, I was starting to pick flowers off the wallpaper'.
The Swamp had become a second home to Christmas. She knew that if she needed a laugh or even a shoulder to cry on, she would find it there. Over the past few months, she had become decidedly closer to Hawkeye without realising it. They had a lot in common; neither of them had a great deal of family left, the way the coffee would always turn out to be a nasty shade of purple and how the war made them feel inside. Although he never told her, Hawkeye often dreamed about Christmas when he was ill. He figured that it was the one happy memory that he had to hold on to. Major Burns did not take Christmas off report; he didn't even think to tell her when it would finish. She had covered shifts for nurses when they had colds, stood on guard for 8 hours a night and only just managed to complete her own shifts before falling into bed only to be woken for another batch of casualties for a whole week.
Christmas sat in the mess tent, a cold cup of coffee in front of her. She put her head in her hands and rubbed her swollen red eyes with the balls of her fingers. She honestly could not remember when she had last felt this tired; she hadn't been eating properly because she simply did not have the time to. The very thought of food now made her feel queasy; as she sat there her eyes began to close. There was one constellation; Hawkeye was now well enough to return to work. She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes once more. Christmas felt someone sit down on the bench next to her; slowing moving her head sideways she saw it was Hawk.
'Hey' She whispered, as her throat was so sore she could do little else.
'Hey, you ok?' Hawk questioned as he ran a hand along her cheek. 'You look like death'
Christmas looked slightly putout but she didn't have the energy to retort. 'There's a reason' she coughed into her hand as she turned away from her visitor.
'Didn't you get any sleep last night' Pearce questioned with a hint of concern in his voice.
'I was on guard duty last night' Christmas replied 'I have been for the past week'.
She slumped against the side of the tent and closed her eyes. The cold winter wind blow through he canvas and made her shiver deeply. Everything felt dark around her as she reached to pull herself back to the table. She was aware of Hawkeye speaking to her.
'You need to get some sleep Christmas' he said sympathetically 'either that or you are gonna start screwing up surgically'
Christmas didn't reply; she simply placed her head back in her hands.
'Have you spoken to Henry about this' Hawk muttered so that no one else would hear. He was becoming increasingly concerned.
'Why?' she questioned 'there is no point, I can't question the orders of a ranking officer and surgeon'.
'Christmas, you have to' Hawk started 'What he is doing is fascist'
'No Hawkeye' Christmas shouted with a quiver in her voice 'that's army order and discipline'. Christmas stood and made for the door but her right boot caught on the corner of the bench. This sent her flying forward and caused a collision between her right temple and the doorframe.
Hawkeye hurried from the table to help her up but she shook away his embrace. Christmas stumbled as she regained equilibrium but lost her footing and fell into Hawkeye's arms. He gathered her legs into his arms and carried her to post-op where he could treat the cut that was bleeding furiously above her right eye.
Luckily, the post-op exam room was deserted, as Christmas didn't have to explain her injury to anyone just yet. Dark red blood had dripped from the gash on her forehead down her cheek and onto the lapels of her uniform. She felt stupid, no, it's was more then stupid, it was moronic. She starred at her scuffed boots so she would not have to look Hawk in the eye.
'Head up' Hawkeye gestured as he forced her head back slightly by placing his forefinger under her chin.
The cut was quite wide and deep and it contained several splinters from the doorframe. Hawk applied a cotton wool swab soaked in Iodine to the abrasion; this made Christmas visibly wince and draw back slightly.
'Sorry' Hawk apologised. He continued to clean the cut and removed the remaining shards of wood with a pair of tweezers.
Though-out her treatment, Christmas tried to avoid Hawk's eye. She had been rude and felt that she didn't deserve him treating her. The pressure of his fingers forced the iodine deeper into the cut making her eyes water. This, she thought, was a perfect decoy for the tears that had built up behind her eyes and were threatening to break free over her cheeks. Hawk was soon finished placing butterfly stitches over the cut and was searching for a sterile dressing.
'Now Madam' Hawkeye grinned 'which dressing can I interest you in today; the large 'look what I did' dressing or the smaller 'I'm hurt but I still have pride' dressing'.
'Hawkeye' Christmas started but the tear that had spilt down her cheek stopped her. 'I'm sorry' she stuttered as she burst into a flood of tears.
'Hey, it's ok, your alright now' Hawkeye reassured her. 'You'll have a great battle scar to show off'
'Its not that' she sobbed 'I was so rude to you back in the mess tent, all you were trying to do was help me'. Hawkeye moved closer to her and she placed her head on his shoulder.
'Not interrupting I hope?' Trapper had entered without either of them noticing. He had a mischievous grin that translated into 'I hope I haven't interrupted anything but if I have will you please tell me all the details right this moment'. It was then that Hawkeye moved aside and trapper could witness Christmas's injury for himself.
'Geez, are you alright?' Trapper asked with the same hint of concern as Hawkeye had. Christmas was about to open her mouth but Hawk answered for her.
'She decided to have a little argument with a doorframe' he announced.
'I think the doorframe won' Trapper mumbled as he inspected Hawkeye's handiwork.
'Thanks for your help Hawk' Christmas said as she slid herself from the table 'But I have a shift in a few minutes and I have to get changed' indicating the patch of dried blood that tarnished her otherwise clean shirt.
Both men watched her leave and then turned to each other, one seemingly reading the others mind.
'Is she ok?' Trap asked.
'She's been working all hours and extra shifts plus being put on guard duty every night' Hawkeye explained 'Frank put her on report and has her pulling double shifts'.
'You're kidding, Frank has? What did Henry say about this?'
'She hasn't said anything to him, she believes it would be breaking orders if she did; you know how GI she is' Hawk explained as they both walked out to the compound 'I think she was just worried that it would be seen as insolent'
'Do you think we should say something to Henry, he wouldn't of allowed it to go this far' Trap was annoyed, he couldn't believe that the CO would let it all get so out of hand.
Darkness had well and truly fallen when Christmas finally returned to her tent. Major Houlihan was not there which made her breathe an enormous sigh of relief, if she had been, she probably have would received another lecture about watching where she was going; about how she was supposed to look like a doctor, not like a patient. Christmas put a hand to her forehead and felt the rough skin of the cut she had received earlier. She sunk to her cot and sat staring at her reflection in the mirror hanging across the tent from her. Her eyes were now deep-set from a severe lack of sleep; they felt dry and itchy and were a now a light pink colour. She glanced at her watch, 21:45, which meant she had fifteen minutes before guard duty.
'How did I end in this mess' she wondered aloud. If she could just have a little sleep, she would feel a lot better for it. It surely wouldn't matter if she closed her eyes for ten minutes and then made her way over to the guardroom.
'What do you think you are doing Captain' Frank spat at the sleeping figure in front of him.
This loud noise woke Christmas suddenly causing her to snap open her eyes. When she saw the figure of Frank Burns in front of her, it sent a chilled sickness through her. She'd overslept, how could she have been so stupid.
'Sir?' she managed to stammer in a broken tone.
'You were meant to report to the guardroom at 22:00' the venom in his voice was still there. 'Do you know what time it is now Captain?'
Feeling it would be rude to look at her watch, she cleared her throat.
'No Sir?'
'It is 22:35 hrs and I find you here asleep' Frank gave no sign of relenting. 'Think you're too good for my punishment do you?'
Christmas quickly climbed to her feet, she did not need misconduct added to the list of charges Major Burns held against her.
'For this Captain, you will serve both guard duty shifts tonight and may that be a lesson to you' Frank spat at her.
He marched from the tent with his jacket pulled up over his head to shield himself from the pouring rain that lashed the compound.
'Wonderful' she sighed and readied herself for another entire night of guard duty.
It was bitterly cold outside, a night that not even animals should be out in. Sheets of icy rain belted her from all sides as a vicious north wind tried to knock her to the ground. What she had done, or in this case what she hadn't done, reverberated around her mind; Major Burns had asked her for a Kelly clamp and that was exactly what she gave him. How was she supposed to know that what we really wanted was a diva retractor? Christmas patrolled the compound slowly, thinking about why she had even applied for a commission in the first place; it all seemed so pointless right now. The storm grew progressively worse throughout the night leading to crescendos of thunder cracks and blinding lightning strikes. The last post-op shift change was taking place when she finally looked at her watch, 03:00; she still had four hours left. She was violently shaking with cold now, her fingers felt frozen to her rifle and her clothes were soaked through to her blue-tinged skin. She didn't know how much more of this she could take.
There were figures moving in a tent up ahead of her, it didn't take long for her to realise that it was her tent. The figures were those of Major's Burns and Houlihan, both lying in Major Houlihan's cot; locked in each other's embrace. She stared at the couple for a split second and turned away instantly from her quarters. Her first reaction was to walk away but she simply stood in the middle of the compound unable to move.
But you're a girl - chapter six Torment and Degradation
'Sponge' Christmas asked the nurse as she held out her right hand.
'It had been a long shift' she thought to herself as the last of the shrapnel was removed from the patient's gut.
'Suture silk' Christmas mumbled as she creaked her neck from side to side to free the tension that had built up inside her shoulders and back.
The constant shelling the camp had received was not making her or anybody else's job any easier. To make matters worse, she had been assisting Major Burns the previous day in surgery when he had placed her on report for giving him the instrument he had asked for. As a result of the report, he had revoked her privileges as an officer and placed her on guard duty. Thirteen hours in surgery, eight hours of guard duty and ten minutes sleep had made her irritable and quiet. She really thought she had found her place in the sun at the 4077th but in had turned out to be a khaki hell on earth.
'Right, he's ready' Christmas exclaimed 'Put a finished label on him and send him to Tokyo'
She snapped off her gloves and threw them to the cluttered floor that showed the work of 16 hours of surgery.
'Kelly' Christmas turned to face an assisting nurse 'Gown and gloves please'
'There are no more casualties ma'am' the nurse replied in a soft tone.
'Come on Christmas' Trapper had approached Christmas and put her arm around her shoulders 'Let me buy you a drink'.
It was all Christmas could do was to smile and follow Trapper back out to the scrub room.
It was dark outside and as it was only 6:15, it was sign that winter had well and truly hit Korea with a bang. The crisp wind blew through Christmas as she wrapped her arms more tightly around herself. The pair ran across the compound and bowled into the Swamp, both collapsing onto Trappers cot in hits of hysteria. It took them a while to retain their composure before they realised that Hawkeye was probably asleep across the tent. Trapper looked up to see Hawkeye sitting in the chair next to his bed wearing his bathrobe.
'Hey kids' Hawk trilled 'good day at the office'
'Oh sorry Hawk, did we wake you?' Christmas was desperately trying to control herself but kept giggling.
'No it's ok, I slept before I left America' Hawkeye smiled reassuringly.
Trapper put his drink down and approached his bunkie as he put a hand to Hawk's forehead.
'How you feeling?' Trapper inquired as he took Hawk's pulse.
'I would feel better if I was allowed to go back to work, I'll tell you, all this rest is making me crazy!' Hawk snapped as Trap finished checking him over.
'You were very sick Hawk' Trapper replied 'You long over-due some R&R anyway'.
Hawk gave them both a knowing smile. 'Don't I know it, I was starting to pick flowers off the wallpaper'.
The Swamp had become a second home to Christmas. She knew that if she needed a laugh or even a shoulder to cry on, she would find it there. Over the past few months, she had become decidedly closer to Hawkeye without realising it. They had a lot in common; neither of them had a great deal of family left, the way the coffee would always turn out to be a nasty shade of purple and how the war made them feel inside. Although he never told her, Hawkeye often dreamed about Christmas when he was ill. He figured that it was the one happy memory that he had to hold on to. Major Burns did not take Christmas off report; he didn't even think to tell her when it would finish. She had covered shifts for nurses when they had colds, stood on guard for 8 hours a night and only just managed to complete her own shifts before falling into bed only to be woken for another batch of casualties for a whole week.
Christmas sat in the mess tent, a cold cup of coffee in front of her. She put her head in her hands and rubbed her swollen red eyes with the balls of her fingers. She honestly could not remember when she had last felt this tired; she hadn't been eating properly because she simply did not have the time to. The very thought of food now made her feel queasy; as she sat there her eyes began to close. There was one constellation; Hawkeye was now well enough to return to work. She took a deep breath and rubbed her eyes once more. Christmas felt someone sit down on the bench next to her; slowing moving her head sideways she saw it was Hawk.
'Hey' She whispered, as her throat was so sore she could do little else.
'Hey, you ok?' Hawk questioned as he ran a hand along her cheek. 'You look like death'
Christmas looked slightly putout but she didn't have the energy to retort. 'There's a reason' she coughed into her hand as she turned away from her visitor.
'Didn't you get any sleep last night' Pearce questioned with a hint of concern in his voice.
'I was on guard duty last night' Christmas replied 'I have been for the past week'.
She slumped against the side of the tent and closed her eyes. The cold winter wind blow through he canvas and made her shiver deeply. Everything felt dark around her as she reached to pull herself back to the table. She was aware of Hawkeye speaking to her.
'You need to get some sleep Christmas' he said sympathetically 'either that or you are gonna start screwing up surgically'
Christmas didn't reply; she simply placed her head back in her hands.
'Have you spoken to Henry about this' Hawk muttered so that no one else would hear. He was becoming increasingly concerned.
'Why?' she questioned 'there is no point, I can't question the orders of a ranking officer and surgeon'.
'Christmas, you have to' Hawk started 'What he is doing is fascist'
'No Hawkeye' Christmas shouted with a quiver in her voice 'that's army order and discipline'. Christmas stood and made for the door but her right boot caught on the corner of the bench. This sent her flying forward and caused a collision between her right temple and the doorframe.
Hawkeye hurried from the table to help her up but she shook away his embrace. Christmas stumbled as she regained equilibrium but lost her footing and fell into Hawkeye's arms. He gathered her legs into his arms and carried her to post-op where he could treat the cut that was bleeding furiously above her right eye.
Luckily, the post-op exam room was deserted, as Christmas didn't have to explain her injury to anyone just yet. Dark red blood had dripped from the gash on her forehead down her cheek and onto the lapels of her uniform. She felt stupid, no, it's was more then stupid, it was moronic. She starred at her scuffed boots so she would not have to look Hawk in the eye.
'Head up' Hawkeye gestured as he forced her head back slightly by placing his forefinger under her chin.
The cut was quite wide and deep and it contained several splinters from the doorframe. Hawk applied a cotton wool swab soaked in Iodine to the abrasion; this made Christmas visibly wince and draw back slightly.
'Sorry' Hawk apologised. He continued to clean the cut and removed the remaining shards of wood with a pair of tweezers.
Though-out her treatment, Christmas tried to avoid Hawk's eye. She had been rude and felt that she didn't deserve him treating her. The pressure of his fingers forced the iodine deeper into the cut making her eyes water. This, she thought, was a perfect decoy for the tears that had built up behind her eyes and were threatening to break free over her cheeks. Hawk was soon finished placing butterfly stitches over the cut and was searching for a sterile dressing.
'Now Madam' Hawkeye grinned 'which dressing can I interest you in today; the large 'look what I did' dressing or the smaller 'I'm hurt but I still have pride' dressing'.
'Hawkeye' Christmas started but the tear that had spilt down her cheek stopped her. 'I'm sorry' she stuttered as she burst into a flood of tears.
'Hey, it's ok, your alright now' Hawkeye reassured her. 'You'll have a great battle scar to show off'
'Its not that' she sobbed 'I was so rude to you back in the mess tent, all you were trying to do was help me'. Hawkeye moved closer to her and she placed her head on his shoulder.
'Not interrupting I hope?' Trapper had entered without either of them noticing. He had a mischievous grin that translated into 'I hope I haven't interrupted anything but if I have will you please tell me all the details right this moment'. It was then that Hawkeye moved aside and trapper could witness Christmas's injury for himself.
'Geez, are you alright?' Trapper asked with the same hint of concern as Hawkeye had. Christmas was about to open her mouth but Hawk answered for her.
'She decided to have a little argument with a doorframe' he announced.
'I think the doorframe won' Trapper mumbled as he inspected Hawkeye's handiwork.
'Thanks for your help Hawk' Christmas said as she slid herself from the table 'But I have a shift in a few minutes and I have to get changed' indicating the patch of dried blood that tarnished her otherwise clean shirt.
Both men watched her leave and then turned to each other, one seemingly reading the others mind.
'Is she ok?' Trap asked.
'She's been working all hours and extra shifts plus being put on guard duty every night' Hawkeye explained 'Frank put her on report and has her pulling double shifts'.
'You're kidding, Frank has? What did Henry say about this?'
'She hasn't said anything to him, she believes it would be breaking orders if she did; you know how GI she is' Hawk explained as they both walked out to the compound 'I think she was just worried that it would be seen as insolent'
'Do you think we should say something to Henry, he wouldn't of allowed it to go this far' Trap was annoyed, he couldn't believe that the CO would let it all get so out of hand.
Darkness had well and truly fallen when Christmas finally returned to her tent. Major Houlihan was not there which made her breathe an enormous sigh of relief, if she had been, she probably have would received another lecture about watching where she was going; about how she was supposed to look like a doctor, not like a patient. Christmas put a hand to her forehead and felt the rough skin of the cut she had received earlier. She sunk to her cot and sat staring at her reflection in the mirror hanging across the tent from her. Her eyes were now deep-set from a severe lack of sleep; they felt dry and itchy and were a now a light pink colour. She glanced at her watch, 21:45, which meant she had fifteen minutes before guard duty.
'How did I end in this mess' she wondered aloud. If she could just have a little sleep, she would feel a lot better for it. It surely wouldn't matter if she closed her eyes for ten minutes and then made her way over to the guardroom.
'What do you think you are doing Captain' Frank spat at the sleeping figure in front of him.
This loud noise woke Christmas suddenly causing her to snap open her eyes. When she saw the figure of Frank Burns in front of her, it sent a chilled sickness through her. She'd overslept, how could she have been so stupid.
'Sir?' she managed to stammer in a broken tone.
'You were meant to report to the guardroom at 22:00' the venom in his voice was still there. 'Do you know what time it is now Captain?'
Feeling it would be rude to look at her watch, she cleared her throat.
'No Sir?'
'It is 22:35 hrs and I find you here asleep' Frank gave no sign of relenting. 'Think you're too good for my punishment do you?'
Christmas quickly climbed to her feet, she did not need misconduct added to the list of charges Major Burns held against her.
'For this Captain, you will serve both guard duty shifts tonight and may that be a lesson to you' Frank spat at her.
He marched from the tent with his jacket pulled up over his head to shield himself from the pouring rain that lashed the compound.
'Wonderful' she sighed and readied herself for another entire night of guard duty.
It was bitterly cold outside, a night that not even animals should be out in. Sheets of icy rain belted her from all sides as a vicious north wind tried to knock her to the ground. What she had done, or in this case what she hadn't done, reverberated around her mind; Major Burns had asked her for a Kelly clamp and that was exactly what she gave him. How was she supposed to know that what we really wanted was a diva retractor? Christmas patrolled the compound slowly, thinking about why she had even applied for a commission in the first place; it all seemed so pointless right now. The storm grew progressively worse throughout the night leading to crescendos of thunder cracks and blinding lightning strikes. The last post-op shift change was taking place when she finally looked at her watch, 03:00; she still had four hours left. She was violently shaking with cold now, her fingers felt frozen to her rifle and her clothes were soaked through to her blue-tinged skin. She didn't know how much more of this she could take.
There were figures moving in a tent up ahead of her, it didn't take long for her to realise that it was her tent. The figures were those of Major's Burns and Houlihan, both lying in Major Houlihan's cot; locked in each other's embrace. She stared at the couple for a split second and turned away instantly from her quarters. Her first reaction was to walk away but she simply stood in the middle of the compound unable to move.