- chapter.15.becoming.untouchable -


Sarah woke with a sudden painfulness that made her head spin. One moment, she was drifting in darkness. The next, her eyes snapped open and she had clenched her hands uselessly against the blanket on her bed.

"Jareth?" Sarah gasped, jerking herself into a sitting position so quickly that her back smarted. She looked around the room sharply, expecting to see Jareth standing with her, but she was alone in her room. She released her death-grip on her bed sheets, hands hurting as she slowly unclenched them. From below, she heard her father's voice calling her name. From the sound of his voice, he'd already called her once or twice.

"Sarah? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Sarah called back, but her heart rebelled at that single small word. Everything was not okay.

Of course it is, Sarah thought resolutely, standing slowly from her bed. I'm back home, where I belong. And Jareth even reordered time for me, putting me back to the day after I first returned from the Labyrinth.

She crossed over to her parents bedroom, looking down at Toby's sleeping figure as she had done upon waking four days ago--except that now, the last four days were gone. She was repeating an action that she had done, for all intents and purposes, just that morning. Toby's rosebud mouth was pursed, and he looked incredibly peaceful. Outside the window--whole and unbroken--Sarah could see the streetlights flickering on up and down her street. From behind her, she heard a soft tread on the carpet, and her heart leaped into her throat.

Jareth!

But it was only her father.

"Is he asleep?" he asked softly, coming up behind her, resting one warm hand on Sarah's shoulder gently.

"Yeah," Sarah said, equally soft.

"I'm really sorry about leaving you alone with Toby again today, Sarah. Adelle was frantic, though, and I knew I'd feel better if I could see her parents alive and well."

"How are Grandma Alice and Grandad Michael?" Sarah asked, remembering her manners.

"Oh, Grandma Alice's heart attack was such a mild one that the doctors barely even called it a flutter. They want her to stay a couple more days for observation, but she says she feels fine. She called a live-in nurse to stay with Grandad Michael until she can go home. She told Adelle and me that there was no reason for us to leave our lives. She's quite a woman, that Alice," Sarah's father finished admiringly.

"Yeah, she is," Sarah replied, turning to smile wanly up at her father. "I think I'm going to go to bed now. I'm tired."

"Of course," her father said, leaning down to kiss her forehead gently. "Thanks again for staying with Toby. You've been a real trooper about this whole thing. Good-night, Sarah."

"Good-night, Daddy," Sarah said softly, and left, crossing back to her own bedroom. She shut the door quietly behind her, then leaned against it, looking around her bedroom--which seemed alien to her. Everything was as it should be, but her stuffed animals were as unfamiliar as toys seen through a shop window, and her books could have been titled in Latin. Sarah shook herself, trying to rid herself of the uncomfortable feeling of oddness, and crossed over to sit on the edge of her bed. She glanced down at herself, realized she was still wearing her Renaissance gown, and raised her hands to remove it. Then, slowly, her hands dropped to her lap. She was not quite ready to part with her only connection to the Underground yet. There was a soft tap on her door, and she glanced up.

"Come in," she called. The door opened slowly, revealed Adelle. As soon as the door had opened enough to make room for his girth, Merlin bounded in, leaping up to cover Sarah's face in moist licks.

"I thought he might sleep in here tonight, since you were so good about staying with Toby when my mother was sick," Adelle said in place of a greeting. With that said, she carefully closed the door, and Sarah turned her attention to Merlin, who seemed to realize his good luck at being allowed to sleep in Sarah's room that night. He launched into another attack of licking Sarah's face, and she eventually had to gently push him away to avoid being drowned.

"That's enough," she laughed, smiling at the dog. "Oh, Merlin, I've missed you so much!" Sarah threw her arms around his shaggy neck, squeezing. He gave Sarah one last perfunctory lick before settling himself comfortably onto her bed to sleep. Sarah opened her mouth to scold him off the bed and onto the carpet, but the words died on her lips as she turned to look around her room again.

Nothing seems right, Sarah thought, looking around in confusion. It all looks different and odd.

Even Merlin looked wrong to her somehow, as if she couldn't recognize the sweet dog that had been her companion for the last six years.

This won't do, Sarah thought, frowning. I'll go to the park... if anything will make me feel at home, the park will.

Stealthily, trying to make no noise and wake Merlin from his sleep, Sarah snuck to her door, easing it open and shut without even the slightest rattle. She tiptoed downstairs and unlocked the front door, slipping into the warm, fragrant night.

I'll only be a minute, she thought, easing the door shut.

The calm, residential streets were empty as Sarah raced toward the park. Her only companions were the songs of the summer night bugs, and they offered scant reassurance.

Suddenly, Sarah skidded to a stop, her loafers slipping on the soft grass as she realized she didn't really recognize the streets of her own town.

But I've run this way a million times, Sarah protested mentally, panting hard through her open mouth. I... I don't recognize it, though. The street names I know, and everything's familiar, but...

It was a familiarity brought about by a repetitive dream, a familiarity that one knew was not reality. Sarah, still panting, frowned around her.

I feel like an intruder here, as if I don't belong on these streets or in this town. But I've always lived here...

Sarah turned toward the park again, running as if to leave behind her uncertainty. Her feet pounded onto the turf, and she stopped again, looking around herself.

I don't belong. That's just it... I don't belong here any more. Sarah gave a weak, wavery laugh as the realization crashed over her. I belong with Jareth in the Underground. I've never belonged here. I've never fit in. In the Labyrinth, I made friends instantly when I'd never made a friend so quickly here. I belong in the Underground, with Jareth. Jareth, whom I... love.

Sarah gave a little start, her hands trembling at her sides as she rolled the idea around in her head, as if looking for weaknesses in it's composition. In love? With Jareth? She laughed then, her face brightening, the streetlight above her haloing her face. Of course. I've loved him for so long... I would have realized it if I'd just stopped being such a thick-headed, stupid, stubborn idiot. Then, out loud, crying the words up to the sky, "I'm in love with him! I love Jareth!"

The knowledge made her warm and happy inside, and she raced across the ornamental bridge to her recitation bench. She half expected Jareth to be sitting there when she arrived, and was disappointed to see he wasn't. But she laughed again, her ebullience too great to be destroyed.

"Jareth! I know where I belong!" She raised her arms, laughing out loud again, her heart singing in her breast. "I know who I am now, Jareth!" When there was no response, she raised her voice, shouting into the sky.

"Jareth! I know where I belong now!" When he still did not appear, Sarah felt some of her joy shrivel, and the first twisting of fear appeared in her heart.

"Jareth!"

Oh, God, that was pitiful, she thought, scolding herself.

"Jareth!" Worse than pitiful. Her voice died entirely on her next cry, managing only "Jare" before it cracked and broke completely, leaving her in the ringing silence broken only by the singing crickets and cicadas.

What if he isn't watching, Sarah thought wildly, tears prickling in her eyes. What if he doesn't know...

Giving it one last try, Sarah screwed her eyes shut, concentrating as hard as she could. In her mind's eye, she pictured Jareth's proud, beautiful, vulnerable face, the way he'd looked when she wept. She pictured his eyes, the radiant, dually colored windows to his soul. She pictured his hair, the carelessly messy mane of liquid gold. She picture his hands, his fine-boned, aristocratic hands that had touched her face with such trembling sweetness. And she pictured his kiss, the liquid fire his first kiss had sent through her veins, the comfort his second kiss had imparted in gentle caresses. With Jareth held tight in her mind, Sarah called out one last time, shouting his named both mentally and physically.

"Jareth!!"

The cicadas and crickets stopped their songs for a moment, then slowly resumed. Sarah felt her heart slowly sinking. He had not come. She had rejected him one too many times, and he did not want her any more, no matter how much he loved her. With fresh tears tingling behind her eyelids, Sarah turned away from the bench--and jumped. He stood barely three feet behind her. He was there.