Jim's Folly

I love your reviews, Angel. I'm glad to know (in a non-sadistic way) that I came close to bringing you to tears. It was supposed to be a sad chapter.

Abby, I'll have you know I spent an hour at that site you advertised in your review. ;) I also read Outsiders. It's very good, but the ending is too blunt. Wish it was longer.

Chapter 15

"So, when does he get out of here?" Amy asked. The petite blonde girl had come to visit once she'd heard from Raven that Jim was in the hospital. Amy had told Raven that Beth was going to come but had decided against it at the last moment. Something to do with memories of Rowan.

"Well," Raven explained. "The doctors said he'll be in rehab for as long as he needs, which could be awhile…" The girls looked at Jim who was sitting up in bed for the first time in weeks without assistance, eating a bowl of cereal and reading over a calculus textbook.

Raven had brought Jim some simple first-year textbooks so Jim could return to his studies. Review wouldn't be too hard on his tired brain, she figured.

Amy sighed heavily. "It's good to see him…sober," she whispered. Raven nodded in full agreement. "I know exactly what you mean. Andrew told me the other night he's seen Jim and Rowan running through the streets during the day while I was at work…it's awful. Andrew knew Jim before I even knew what was going on."

"Does it make you feel…blind?" Amy asked, fingering a piece of hair that had fallen in front of her ear.

"Helpless, too." Raven trailed off, thinking for a moment. "Ah, well…it's past. This is present. We must not worry about what happened, for we can do nothing about the past. Right?"

Amy nodded. "Right." The two women were quiet for a moment.

"So I hear it's your birthday in a few weeks?" Amy asked. Raven reddened. "Who told you?"

"A little bird," Amy said with a grin. "You'll be twenty-one, am I right?"

"Yes, but…again, how did you find out?"

"That doesn't matter. Your students all know and we also know you're stressed about the Jim-situation…so we have a surprise planned for you. Don't worry, Instructor." Raven's eyebrows had creased together. "The TA has everything under control!" Amy assured her.

Raven thought of the teaching assistant she had assigned to the class in her absence. A middle-aged woman filled her mind, teal skin, thin, tall and loud. Angel McLeod was her name, and she loved her job, even if before it was only to assist.

Raven was happy to hear she was enjoying herself.

"So instead of teaching my students how to sing she's planning some diabolical scheme for my birthday," Raven asked. Amy nodded. "Pretty much, Instructor." Amy paused and then smiled. "I'm gonna get back to school. Give me and Jim a minute, okay?"

Raven took the hint and left the room, shaking her head. She didn't want to know the plans they had for her. She was almost afraid.

She then decided to put it out of her mind by taking Andrew to the cafeteria for awhile.

--

Amy sat next to Jim as he set his book down, smiling at her arrival.

"So…what's up?"

"Instructor Calls knows we're planning something." Jim groaned. She wasn't supposed to know yet!
"Did the doctors say I could come?" he asked.

"You might have to be in a wheelchair," Amy stated softly. Jim frowned, his eyebrows creasing together in disappointment.

"Why? Am I in that serious of condition?"

Amy shrugged. "I don't know. It was doctors' suggestion…so we can't really go against it, right? You want to get better, don't you? Come on, Jim! You got shot! You can't exactly get out of bed and jump around."

"Yeah," Jim stated. "But…rehab is tough."

"You're barely immersed in it, Jim. What are you talking about?"

Jim sighed, pausing for a moment as if reliving his past life. "Aim, I don't think you know…my body is dependent on drugs. They have me on a few diluted drugs to keep me alive. It's going to take a lot of power to wean me off of them…and it's awful. I can't…believe all the crap I did to myself…"
Amy frowned. "And I don't know the half of it, right?"

Jim studied her. She was so pure, so innocent. Her clear blue eyes told him worlds about her. She'd not seen an immoral thing in her life. He was ashamed to be sitting by her. Her pure beauty penetrated his soul and he was disgusted at his old nature's ability to be able to see her as it would have seen her. That side of him was slight, and he was able to fight it off. She looked like so many of the other girls he'd known, yet she was different. She cared. She actually cared about his life, whether he was alive or not, whether he was breathing, how he felt that day. Amy truly was a wonderful person to behold.

Amy noticed he was staring at her and sighed uncomfortably. Jim averted his gaze to his textbook.

"You understand this stuff?"

"Don't change the subject, Jim. I know you're thinking about something…Would it help to get it off your chest?" Amy asked, reaching forward and touching his arm. Her touch sent shockwaves up his arm and through the entire right side of his body.

Purity was definitely something to stand in awe of.

Jim didn't look at her as he explained himself. "You're so innocent, you know. Beth has been in my drug house numerous times to see Rowan…and you never came. It's your purity that's making me feel so…awful, I guess." Jim's eyes were clouding over with tears. His heart was aching.

"Jim, there's nothing you've done that I'll never speak to you again over," Amy assured him. He appreciated her sincerity. He knew she was telling the truth, and that calmed him. Perhaps she'd only be afraid of him for a little while, then.

"Amy, through the months while I was soaking in drugs, I was introduced to a different world…and that's why it's hard to be by you."

"A different world?"

"A world Rowan was into."
"Beth told me Rowan was into prostitutes from time to time…it upset her but she remained faithful to him at all times. I don't know why…but-"

Jim cut her off. "Rowan's interests were passed on. After so long of treating women like…objects, it's hard to behold one who actually cares, you know?"

Amy mulled his statement over for a moment before nodding. She understood.

In an instant where she would have touched his arm, she refrained, and he noticed. He was okay with that.

"I understand, Jim. I may never have been there, but I know that you've been through a lot. Rehab won't be for just drugs, then."

He smiled. "Guess not."
"I know there's a few of us girls you don't see as just objects."
Amy's tone made Jim frown. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Amy grinned, her expression becoming mischievous. "I see the way you look at her." Jim remained unmoved. "Your face lights up when she comes in the room. I'm sure there's more to it that I don't know but I could always go to Andrew for inside information. Kids always know more anyway."

Jim shook his head. "You're not as pure as you look."
She laughed. "Cute, Jim. I'm gonna head off now…more plans to make! I'll see what happens with the doctors, okay? I'll visit you again tomorrow."
Jim nodded and she planted a kiss on the top of his head before leaving.

"Bye, Jim!"

Jim waved as she closed the door behind her.

He smiled. At least she'd listened. And she'd kissed him still. She wasn't totally repulsed. He smiled wider. There was hope.

Ever close your eyes?

Ever stop and listen?

Ever feel alive

And you've nothing missing?

You don't need a reason

Let the day go on and on

-Wild Child, Enya

Lyrics from Letssingit.com.