Chapter nine: Excuses.
November had flown by and before Kyra noticed, so had half of December. It seemed that all students did was talking excitedly about the Holidays and the upcoming Yule Ball. She and her friends never spent the Holiday season at Hogwarts, since they all preferred going back home and be with their families.
All except for John. His parents had been killed during Voldemort's first rise, all because his mother was a muggle and her father had tried to protect her. His grandparents had raised him, but they too had died and, not being in possession of any other relatives, John was now fully alone in the world. Kyra, Marianne and Hélène did all they could to make up for his lack of family, having assumed the roles of sisters for the boy.
Poor Johnny. After the ball, he had apologized several times and Kyra finally forgave him. How could she not? As infuriating and overprotective he could be, she loved him; and that was what mattered. Of course, she had made him swear he would never be 'such an asshole' again. In fact, they had all dropped the whole 'You danced with Snape and Malfoy subject and harmony reigned again among the four friends.
That day, they had studied together after class and then Ky had gone to her room in order to owl her parents. She wanted to let them know that John had, once again, happily agreed to spend Christmas break with them. She knew they would be thrilled; during those years, Kyra's family had accepted the boy as one more of them and John was always warmly welcomed in the Gardner family circle.
However, no matter how close she was to him, or Marianne and Hélène, while being at Hogwarts, she had never crossed certain lines, like inviting them to her Slytherin common dorm or having dinner at another table other than hers.
Well, that was about to change. Smiling, she straightened her uniform and ran to the Great Hall. At its entrance were waiting her three friends.
" Never on time, Kyra," mockingly reprimanded Hélène.
" Oh, it's just that my hair refused to cooperate," she said, absentmindedly running a hand through her thick mane of lustrous hair. She had straightened it to perfection and added a few rhinestone bobby-pins to keep it from falling in front of her face.
" Of course, and Merlin forbid you leave your chambers looking less than perfect," joked John, giving her a soft shove.
" Well, how else would I conquer such wonderful matches as Draco Malfoy?"
The boy looked scandalized at her comment and she blew him a kiss before turning to Marianne, who asked her, " Have you thought about what we propositioned you?"
" Yeah. And considering this is our last year together and that no member from my House seems to find any pleasure in eating by my side, the answer is YES," she announced.
John gave her a tight hug. " Great! Then come... let's go get some cool seats."
As they entered the Great Hall, Marianne had to head to her own table. She did so, only after whispering, " And tomorrow you'll have lunch at MY table."
" And one day we can all sit together. That'll be so cool!" Added Hélène.
The friends found three seats and proceeded to take them. Kyra noticed some Gryffindors were eyeing her suspiciously and she sighed. " I just hope I won't get in trouble for this."
" What's the worst that could happen? That the greasy git tells you off for that? At least you'd have had a good time with us," replied Johnny, as he devoured his kidney pie.
Kyra looked at him and frowned; she had always hated that sample of English cuisine. " Yeah, you're right," she replied.
" See? You must always see the glass half-full, not half-empty," lectured Hélène, helping herself to her second serving of plum pudding. The Gryffindor loved sweets and she would often skip the main courses to have only the desserts.
Kyra imitated her, putting her diet aside for a night.
***
Severus Snape could not bring himself to actually eat any dinner. He could pick her voice out of the crowd. She was laughing with those friends of hers. He speared a carrot violently. All he wanted to do was forget about her. Just not think about Kyra Gardner for one second. But he couldn't get her out of his head.
As casually as he could, he let his gaze wander around the Great Hall until his eyes fell on her. She was sitting at the Gryffndor table, chatting animatedly with that Dupont girl she spent most of her time with. And then, it hit him: a wonderful idea for spending a bit more time with her. He knew she wouldn't like it, but at that point, he decided to ignore that fact.
When dinner was over, he followed her outside the Great Hall and stopped her before she could follow her friends.
" Miss Gardner?" He called out for her.
Kyra turned and smiled at him. " Yes, Professor Snape?"
" There is a matter I would like to discuss with you. Now." He noticed she looked rather surprised, yet she didn't complain.
" Sure, Sir," she said obediently.
" Then come to my office," he commanded.
Kyra shot her friends a perplexed look before starting to follow him. As they were walking, a million different question plagued her mind until she couldn't hold her tongue for any longer.
" Have I done something incorrect?" Was her soft question.
" That depends on how you see it." The enigmatic answer didn't satisfy her curiosity, but his tone told her she better waited until they were at his office.
Once they were there, he rigidly sat behind his desk and motioned for her to sit in front of him. As soon as she obeyed, he started talking.
" I saw you tonight, sitting at the Gryffindor table," he said, not sounding too pleased by that fact.
' Oh… so that's what this is all about?' Thought Kyra, rather amused.
" Yes… Hélène invited me to have dinner at her table and, well, since at the Slytherin table the atmosphere is not exactly cheery…"
" She alone invited you?" He cut her in.
Kyra frowned. " Her and John, but I don't see the relevance of…"
" That is for me to judge, not you," he replied a bit too harshly. " Anyway, I hope this had been the first and last time you conduct yourself in such an inappropriate manner."
The girl looked at him with disappointment written on her face. " But, Professor… Marianne wanted me to join her for lunch tomorrow! I know she's in Ravenclaw, but she is one of my best friends," she protested.
" What has driven you to turn your back at your own House?"
" I'm not doing that, Professor, I just… well, this is the first time in six years I don't eat at the Slytherin table, it's not to make such a fuss."
" Come again?" He asked, his features assuming the rigidity of a granite rock.
Kyra realized she had made a big mistake as soon as those words left her lips. " No, nothing, I'm sorry."
" That was utterly disrespectful, Miss Gardner."
" I'm sorry, Professor… I didn't mean to be insolent, really. I spoke without thinking… I tend to do that," she whispered, giving him her best apologetic look.
Snape softened a bit; the last thing he wanted was to scare her. " You better be more careful in the future," he warned.
" Yes, Sir."
" Now, back to my main concern: you cannot continue with those friendships, you are disgracing our House!"
" I'm not disgracing anything that wasn't already disgraced," she muttered. Another mistake.
" What is that supposed to mean, Miss Gardner?" He asked tersely.
But this time, she wasn't going to back out. " What I mean is how can a House survive when you can't trust any of its members? When you have to watch every step you take, afraid of being too good or too cruel? A House in which there's no union, where members think they're above others just because of their nationality or their ascendance?" She asked him, her voice showing a million different emotions, none of them too pleasant.
Severus didn't have the strength to chastise her. He knew exactly how she felt, mainly because he had felt the exact same way while being a Death Eater; trapped, in constant fear of being labeled wrongly... And the thought of her enduring that feeling everyday brought an unusual sense of sorrow to him.
" So, you regret having been sorted into Slytherin?" He asked, a bit more gently this time.
" No, not at all," she replied, surprising him. " I'm proud of my House… there's no other one I fit better than in it and I know I shouldn't have said that. I'm just… tired. No matter how hard I tried in the past 6 years, I was always pushed aside. I know I belong in Slytherin, I just wish the Slytherins accepted me."
At that moment, there was so much hurt in her eyes that she looked a hundred years old. Severus knew her House-mates constant hostility had caused her a great deal of pain and he whished he could punish every single one of them for that. He ached to comfort her, to do something to make her feel better…
Kyra looked up at him and noticed his expression had softened up to a point in which he seemed almost... humane, as he pensively observed her.
" Do not pay attention to them, Miss Gardner," he said, his voice holding a note she had never heard before: kindness. " You are a brilliant young woman and have earned my good concept and the one of people more worthy than them."
Such a compliment from Snape was something unprecedented and had left the girl completely speechless. " Thank you, Professor," she managed to whisper.
For a moment, he seemed confused, and she honestly hoped he wouldn't take back what he had just told her.
" Yes. You can go now," he said, waving his hand in dismissal.
Kyra licked her lips and smiled at him. " Good night, Professor."
She didn't wait for an answer and left the dungeons unsure of what, if any, had just transpired between her and her Professor. Kyra had a strange feeling that that simple talk had somehow brought her a bit closer to him... she didn't understand why she wanted that so badly.
There was just something about Snape that grabbed at her. His intelligence ran deep; he challenged her, made her look farther into herself than she ever had before. There was something about him, something she couldn't ignore. Something that stirred her soul and left her weak.
Kyra shook her head. She had to do something to get him out of her mind. Well, maybe the break would help...