Chapter ten: You're the light in my darkest hour.

It was January. Kyra had started the new term refreshed after the lovely holidays she had spent at her home and with Johnny. Also, she had learnt that trying to put Snape out of her mind was completely useless, so she stopped trying and found herself thinking about him several times; wondering what could he be doing, how would he spend his Holidays.

Now, being back at Hogwarts and having classes with him again... she didn't know for how much longer she would be able to keep her feelings at bay. That night at dinner she had been so happy to see him again...

A soft tapping on her window brought her out of her pensive state. Kyra hurried to open it and was a bit surprised to see Genevieve's owl there.

" Geneva, what are you doing here?"

She hooted gravely and that made Kyra even more unease. When she opened the letter, all color drained from her face.

***

The eerie pale glow the full moon radiated filled the deserted corridors of Hogwarts. It was cold, almost 2 AM already and all students were supposed to be asleep, but Snape was sure that he had heard some noise. It seemed to have come from one of the top floors and he hurried to investigate.

He had been up and walking around the corridors, since sleep was eluding him that night. There were many things going around his head and he was trying to rationalize them, when he heard it. It sounded as if someone was crying, like an echo of muffled sobs coming from somewhere in the shadows.

He was never more thankful for his acute sense of hearing than at that moment. Following the faint sounds, he headed to the eastern wing. He frowned at the lack of light and pointed his wand forward.

" Lumos!" He commanded.

And then he saw her. She was sitting on the dusty floor, resting her head on her knees. She was barefoot and wearing a long short-sleeved nightgown made of lilac silk. Her head was a wild mass of tangles and she seemed so lonely and lost that his heart went to her immediately.

" Miss Gardner?!" He asked, bewildered.

She lifted her tearstained face up at him and he noticed she was deathly pale, almost like a ghost.

" Professor Snape, I'm sorry," she muttered, trying to restrain her tears, but to no avail. When she started crying again, burying her face in her hands, he felt the strong urge to comfort her in some way.

He kneeled down, and gathered her to him in a comforting, soothing embrace. Kyra closed her eyes, attempting to gather her breath. " You stupid, silly girl," she heard him whisper. " You're cold!"

His hand caressed her hair tenderly, and she sensed that he was enjoying the closeness as much as she was. Her ragged, rapid breathing calmed down, and she felt his heartbeat reduce.

Kyra prayed the moment would last forever, but he finally pushed her away, reluctantly it seemed. " What happened?" He asked simply. " Why are you crying?"

" I… nothing, Professor, don't worry."

" I have gotten to know you…" he said, then looked embarrassed for having admitted that, and continued. " There's something else you're not telling me..." She just looked up at him, not sure what to say.

Severus, noticing her incessant shivers, removed his black cloak. After wrapping it around her shoulders, he took her hands in his and spoke solemnly to her. " Listen, I don't know what reason might be preventing you from telling what has reduced you to such a convulsive state, but I beg of you, discard that reason and tell me so we can find a solution."

' I hate seeing her like this,' Severus thought, rubbing her hand with his thumb absentmindedly.

" She's dead," Kyra whispered after a long pause. " Do you think we could find a solution to that?" Even between her tears she managed to give him a half smile.

" Who died, Miss Gardner?" He asked, and then felt the need to kick himself for having been so tactless.

" My grandmother, Sir, the only one I had left. My parents sent a telegram to Genevieve's house and she owled it to me," she explained, gravely.

Severus didn't know what to say. All he could think of was finding a way to make her pain go away, but how? " My deepest condolences, Miss Gardner."

" Thank you..." whispered Kyra.

" But why were you here?"

" When I received the news I… I don't know, I left my room and started wandering, not knowing what to do… I know I deserve detention for that."

" I will judge that, continue."

" OK… then, I started crying and I didn't know where I was going until I ended here. I didn't feel like moving, so I just stayed and, well, it all seems rather silly to me now," she finished and looked away.

" It's NOT silly, not at all! Don't say that," said Severus with an ardor she had never heard him express before.

Kyra's eyes met his and, for a while, none of them talked. He wanted to give her another hug, feel her against him again, but he'd become self-conscious once again about his appearance. ' She would be disgusted,' he thought. ' Now that she's recovered.'

" Will you… attend her funeral?" He asked, as softly as he could.

" I don't see how… the trip would take me at least four days and this is a very hectic time of the year… besides, I have your Potions Theory exam the day after tomorrow."

" Miss Gardner, you are a top student, I'm sure that a few days of absence won't change that. As for the exam… we'll work something out."

Her face lit up as if he had given her a great gift. " Really?"

" There is no need for you to worry about that now. I will speak to Dumbledore, he'll get in touch with your parents and they'll take care of everything, alright?" He asked, giving her hand (which he had been holding all along) a firm squeeze.

Kyra looked at him with immense gratitude filling her soulful blue eyes. " Thank you, Professor. This means a lot to me."

He nodded. " Do you think you can walk?"

" Yeah…"

" Then I'll escort you to your room."

He then put his hands on Kyra's waist to help her get up. When her feet were firmly on the ground, Severus didn't let go of her right away. She looked up into his eyes as he stared down at her, confused by what she saw. There was a look of wonder and almost of something related to love or desire; she couldn't put a name to it, blazing in his dark eyes. She looked away quickly, wondering if she was mistaken.

Snape, surprised by what he had just done removed his hands from her waist. As he did so, her legs started shaking and he had no other choice but to place an arm around her shoulders and draw her to him.

" You are weak," he stated.

" Too many strong emotions, I guess," she replied.

He didn't know if she was talking about her grandmother's death or something else, but decided it was better not to inquire any further. Not if he wanted to maintain the little control he had left.

He then started walking and his arm tightened around her shoulders.

" Ouch…" he heard her whisper and stopped immediately to look at her.

" What is it?"

" No, nothing…" she said, shaking her head.

" Miss Gardner."

" Oh, well, if you must now! When I was walking in the dark, I think I hit myself with one of the statues..."

" Where?"

" Here," she replied, gently touching her right shoulder.

" Let me see…" he commanded.

" No, there's no need, really."

Snape waggled his fingers, " Do not argue with me, girl. Let me look!"

Sighing, Kyra turned, giving him full access to her injured shoulder. She could feel his warm breath against her cod skin as he lowered his head to examine her. It felt so good, being that close to him...

Severus inhaled deeply and slowly as he softly lowered the thin silk of her nightgown's sleeve, baring the milky skin. It was such an intimate gesture...

" It is, indeed, a very ugly bruise, Miss Gardner," he sentenced, forcing himself back to reality. " You will need to apply a potion in order to stop the swelling. I will give you one."

" Thank you, Professor."

They walked in silence, until reaching her room.

" Get in bed and drink something warm," he instructed her once they were inside. " I will return with the potion and to inform you of the measures concerning your departure."

" I'll leave the door open," she said simply.

Severus swallowed the hard lump in the back of his throat before nodding and leaving, his cloak billowing out behind him.

Half an hour later, he was back. He quietly entered her room and found Kyra in bed. " Miss Gardner, everything is arranged. You will leave in five hours on the Hogwarts Express. Can you get to the airport from the station?"

" Yeah…"

" It's settled then. Here's your potion," he said, handing her a small vial filled with a dark gray substance. " Rub it on the bruise twice a day and it will help the tissues to heal."

" Thank you. And, Professor... would you please inform my friends of this? I don't want to wake them but I don't want them to worry either."

" I will, Miss Gardner. Now you need to get some rest, tomorrow will be a long day for you to bear."

" You're right. Thank you for everything, sir."

" It was nothing. Have a safe trip tomorrow," he said swiftly, before leaving her room.

Kyra pulled up her covers and willed herself to sleep, thinking that without his support, things would have been a lot harder for her to bear.

***

As he was walking back to the dungeons, Snape caught a glimpse of himself in a dusty mirror across the hall and took several long, heavy strides towards it. He pressed the palms of his hands against either side of the frame and looked at himself for a moment. All he saw was a pale malicious face looking back at him. He was a mess. No man who looked like that deserved a woman like Kyra. She was beauty beyond beauty. She deserved a man who could look at himself and feel proud of what he saw. He never had, but he wasn't entirely like the mirror reflected.

' But what if she...? No! She could never have feelings for me, I must be delusional.'

With that, he made his way back to the cold darkness of his chambers.

***

Before she had any time to think about anything, Kyra was back at Hogwarts. Dumbledore had sent her to London by the Hogwarts Express. It had been fun having the entire train for herself and it had also given her time to grieve on her own. Once in London, she had got a cab to Heathrow, where she took a flight back home.

The funeral had been... well, it had been like a funeral. Kyra had stayed for two days with her parents before returning to England. And upon her return, she had had to endure her three friends hovering around her in a concerned way, treating her as if she was made of porcelain. Kyra had accepted it thankfully, knowing it was their way of showing her how much they cared about her, how much they loved her. But after two days of that, however, they were starting to make her feel a bit edgy. Specially John.

Tonight, he had insisted on escorting her to her room after dinner and seemed reluctant to let her go. Kyra sighed, she needed to get some sleep, for she had her Potions Theory exam the next morning. Since she had missed it on the scheduled day because of her trip to America, Snape had given her the opportunity to take her exam on another date.

And every time she thought of her Potions Professor...

" Ky, are you alright?" John's voice brought her out of her reverie.

Kyra frowned, after hearing it more than ten times a day, she was starting to hate that question.

" Johnny, I'm sorry, but tomorrow I have my Potions Theory exam..." She told him.

The boy snorted. " Oh, with greasehead?"

" With Professor Snape," she sternly corrected him. " He's not as bad as you think, Johnny..."

" What, are you going to tell me he's a nice guy?" He retorted.

" No, but..."

" Or that every woman at Hogwarts is taken with him?"

She shook her head; sometimes John could be really tiring. " What does that have to do with anything? Anyway, maybe someone is."

" An admirer? Snape? Funny, I didn't know that a blind moron attended Hogwarts."

" OK, as you wish. Now, go to your dorm. I need to sleep," she said seriously.

" Are you sure you're OK?"

That damned question again... " Yes, Johnny, I am. Now go..."

" Alright, see you tomorrow," he said and kissed her cheek.

She smiled sweetly and watched the boy disappear down the hallway.

' Guess I'm a blind moron, then,' mused Kyra with an inward smile.