Jim's Folly

Goodness. We're starting the twenties now. This has really carried on…for far too long. Should I end it? 'Course not. As long as the ideas spur…

Chapter 20

Jim blinked. Simon smiled, baring white teeth. Normal, human teeth.

Studying Simon as he wasn't looking, Jim noticed the similarities in Simon and Andrew. It…couldn't be.

"But…Raven, you…would have only been…" He did the math. "…fourteen."
Tears didn't fall from her eyes. She'd passed that stage. Simon's presence only made her angry.

"Yes. That is why I don't wish to see him. He stole my adolescence from me. I was forced to mature when I was still a child."

"And you did so well…what a beautiful boy he is," Simon commented. Raven nodded. "He is beautiful, yes, but he's being forced to live with so little." She paused and stepped up to Simon boldly, getting into his personal space. She hadn't been this close to him since…ages ago. "Did you know he's just starting kindergarten now? He's seven years old, Simon. Because of your stupidity, my little boy is behind in school, he has few friends, and his low-income mother can't even afford to feed them at night, let alone pay for rent!"

"So does this little boy here pay for it, or what?" Simon raised an eyebrow, standing to his full height so he could tower over her. Inches from her face, he sneered. "Is he the father figure I'll never be? Does he provide what Andrew needs?" Simon stole a glance at Jim. "I'll bet you he's no younger than eighteen. How can he help you?"

Jim scowled, gritting his teeth and stepping between Simon and Raven. "Back off, buddy. I've heard enough. I think it's time you leave."
Simon smiled in Jim's face and Jim could smell Simon's cologne, a scent mixed with bad breath.

"What are you going to do, little boy?"

"Sir, your time is up. I'll thank you to get out." Jim's voice was firm and steady. He had no intention of harming Simon.

Simon frowned. "I'm not leaving the planet, Cadet. I'll be around. If you really care for her, you'll watch her back or else."

Turning to go, Simon blew a kiss to Raven, then turned back to Jim. "Oh, and Cadet? I'd also get someone to watch yours."

--

In the small classroom, Andrew was learning the alphabet. He sat in a small chair with small students a few years younger than he. They were nice to him, even though he was older. The teacher was young and pretty, and she was kind to him as well. She didn't seem to mind, nor did the other students, that he sometimes spoke in Romanian when he was flustered, and had a thick accent when he spoke in English.

Andrew was a good listener. He loved story time. He just wished his mommy could get a day off so she could come enjoy this with him.

---

Jim walked Raven to her apartment door. He even waited until she had her keys ready. She met his eyes as he waited for her to go inside, but she made no move to.

She wasn't in tears, but she was visibly troubled. Jim reached out and touched her arm, his hand settling on her elbow. She sighed heavily and looked up at him, unaware of how close they were to each other. "Do you…want to come in?"

Jim shrugged. "Is Andrew still awake?"

"He wakes up when I come home anyway."

Jim nodded. "Sure. I haven't seen him in a few days."
Raven unlocked the door and went inside first. Andrew, predictable as ever, burst into the room, a large grin on his face. "Mama!" he cried. He stopped smiling and his expression grew into one of mortification when he saw Jim walk in behind her.

"Uh…" Big, round tears began to form in Andrew's eyes. He feared he'd ruined everything. Mama would be so disappointed…

Raven shook her head and opened her arms, kneeling. "Come here, Andy," she told him in Romanian. He took uneasy steps up to her, staring at Jim the entire time.

Jim smiled. "It's okay, buddy. Don't worry about it. I know already."
Andrew blinked several times and looked at his mother for confirmation. She nodded. "He knows, Andy. You can be as free as you want with me now."
Andrew seemed slightly relieved and was happy to greet Jim, who knelt. "Gimme some skin, buddy." Andrew gave Jim his hardest high-five. Jim grinned and closed the door behind him, locking it. "So, how was school today?"

Andrew's eyes lit up. "I drew a picture of us, Jim!"

He took off into his room before Jim could say anything.

Raven had by then, taken off her shoes and gone into her room and come back, having already changed. She was now wearing faded jeans and a large t shirt, similar to what she'd been wearing at the hospital. Jim entertained the thought of using some of his savings to buy her something nice…He shook his head. It wasn't his place to do something like that.

Once he'd graduated…

Raven sighed heavily and offered Jim something to drink. He declined.

The air of the apartment was somber and uneasy, but it lit up slightly when Andrew showed the pair his picture. "See? It's of that day by the water fountain! Like in Mama's pictures."
Andrew's three colorful stick people were very distorted, but discernable. Jim smiled and glanced at Raven, who was also smiling, stroking her little boy's hair.

"It's beautiful, Andy," she said.

"Can we put it on the fridge?" he asked. She nodded. "Why would we not?"

Andrew rushed over and grabbed a free magnet, not that there were plenty to be found, and placed the picture in the middle of the fridge.

Jim sighed. "So, have you eaten dinner yet, Andrew?"

Andrew shook his head, giving his mother an uneasy glance.

"I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you…"
Raven chuckled. "Before Andrew gets it all muddled up, we're extremely low budget if you couldn't tell. We don't eat often, Jim."

Jim nodded. "So that's why you're so thin."
She raised an eyebrow. "I could have used your weight program," she shot back, referring to his drug problem.

He glared at her.

Andrew and Jim hung out for awhile, leaving Raven to some unfinished paperwork which she did at the battered kitchen table.

When Raven decided it was time for Andrew to go to bed, the child protested immensely.

"But! Jim doesn't come over a lot…can't I stay awake until he goes?" Andrew whined some more and Jim was amused when Andrew cried, "Can't he sleep here?"

Raven's reply was, "Where's he going to sleep?"

Andrew, sounding frustrated, replied as-a-matter-of-factly, "In my bed! I'll sleep in yours!"

His protest brought a laugh from his mother and the rest of the conversation was in Romanian, so Jim stopped listening.

He looked around the shabby apartment and concluded that Raven and Andrew needed a bigger place. This was no place to raise a boy.

Glancing out the window, Jim could see the street that eventually led to the old shack.

He even realized that some of the small shops he could see below had been raided by him and Rowan in previous days.

Jim sighed, remembering a quote he'd heard from class. "Sin is good for a season…"

When Raven returned, she grinned at Jim. "He fell asleep quickly."

"No kidding," Jim replied. He thought for a moment. "Is there a roof on this building that's accessible?"

Raven frowned. "What's going on in your head?"

He smiled in return. "I'm just wondering if you wanted to go for a walk, that's all."
Raven shrugged. "I guess so."
She grabbed her keys and locked the door behind her and Jim and the two headed for the stairs.

---

The sky was clear, an occurrence that didn't happen often on this particular planet.

Raven took a moment and ignored Jim so she could stare at the sky. How she longed to be a spacer again…She hadn't been on many missions, but the ones she'd been on had been a thrill ride like no other. Andrew had just been a baby at that time, but it had been worth it. He'd liked the ride, too.

Raven suddenly remembered she wasn't alone up there and turned towards Jim, who was also enthralled by the stars.

After a moment, the two settled on the roof, which wasn't as dirty as Jim imagined it to be.

There was a rail around the edge for safety purposes and a rock or two here and there. Other than that, the roof was definitely there on purpose.

Jim sighed, eager to know, yet eager to sit in silence with her for all eternity.

He was undecided. He decided to break the silence. His curiosity was unbearable.

"So…can you explain some things to me?"

"Like what?" she asked, leaning on her hands for support. She gazed at the stars, ignoring the chills that were running up her spine.

Jim was wearing a jacket…

"I want to know…some stuff. About Simon, I guess. Where, how…the like. You know what I mean, Cap. Just…tell me, I guess."
Raven sighed. She knew he had to know at one time or another.

"When I was fleeing from Romania…and I stopped on Capernaeuma for awhile, as you know…I met someone. He was very kind to me. I was young and naïve…and he was older and more…well, he knew how to manipulate people, shall we say." She paused and took a breath. "He seduced me…seemingly. I thought he loved me but he didn't. He said he did and his words captured my heart and anything he'd ask I would do…his words had that much power over me. He said he loved us to all the girls he manipulated. Even though I was fourteen, I didn't see anything wrong with…well, you know."

Jim nodded. He'd been there before, sadly.

"Later on, I bore a child. It was Andrew, and I was soon on my way to the ISA to apply for school. It was really hard to go to school and raise a child at the same time but I had a gift of favor with the Admiral, so they allowed me to take part time classes. It was sure a blessing. I lost contact with all of my family, including my older brother, who'd lost all confidence in me once he'd found out I had a child at such an early age as a result of my own stupidity; as Andrew grew, I realized I needed a new take on life before I lost everything. So, I started a new attitude. Believing in myself was the most important thing I'd ever learned to do. Andrew grew up to the fine young man you know today…he's…beautiful. I don't know what I'd do without him. …and now that I've met you, I don't know what I'd do…but…you're…"

Jim paused, letting her story sink in. Quite a tale to tell in a nutshell. He was amazed. She'd left everything behind. Her family, her life, her childhood, practically. All for her little boy. Impressive. He spoke.

"That's the thing, though…because I'm a student and you're a teacher…any possible…relationship is toast. You know that…" he was close to her now, and his eyes pored into her so hard she forced herself to look into them.

"But…"

"But what?" Raven whispered. She knew what was coming. Her heart pounded hard with anticipation.

He smiled and shrugged. "No one's here to catch me."

He tipped her chin up with his fingers and gently brought his lips to hers. Surprisingly, she didn't pull away.

As soon as he pulled away from her lips, he opened his eyes slightly and smiled. "I've always wanted to do that," he whispered.

She smiled faintly. "Don't let me stop you, Cadet Hawkins…"

--