'Reaching for Sarah's Soul' - Part Five
Author: Daenar
Disclaimer: See Part One
This story is set in the middle of season 7, just after 'Answered Prayers'.
From part four:
Her eyes were glued to her hands that were resting in her lap. Her mind was spinning. Where the devil was she supposed to go from here? What was there to come back to after all? And would this really be worth the effort? Right now, the only answers she could think of were 'nowhere', 'nothing' and 'no'.
When she felt his hand on her shoulder again, she gave in to the inevitable and looked up, allowing him to see there were tears in her eyes. He reached out as if to brush them away but she recoiled, making his shoulders drop.
"Sarah..." Again, the tone of his voice struck her. And suddenly she found it was too much to bear.
"Harm, I... I'm sorry, but, please, leave me alone," she managed to murmur. "I need to think this through on my own."
"But..."
"Please."
He nodded silently, got up and left the room, throwing her one last, sad look before the door snapped shut. To her, it felt as if he had walked out of her life.
She couldn't really blame him.
Part Five:
Jan. 14th 0112 ZULU Countryside outside Yuma Arizona
Sweat was running down his temples across his jaw and his neck, soaking the T-shirt that was already clinging to his body. Harm's breath came in ragged gasps that weren't far from actual groans of pain. Every single bouncing step still hurt like hell but Harm couldn't stop. He had lost track of how many miles he'd run today. He knew he should still go easy on himself, let his leg heal, but sitting idle, he was slowly going insane. His inward pain and frustration needed a valve and wearing himself out up to the point of total exhaustion was the only thing that helped.
During the last couple of days, it had cost him every single ounce of his mental strength to comply with Mac's wish of being left alone. At first, he had tried several times to get to her, but she had given instructions to the medical personnel not to let anyone see her. She had left a note for him, explaining that he shouldn't take it personally, that it was herself she didn't get along with, not him, and that she needed time. And she had stated that she had decided to turn to less personal things, trying to explore her memory. So she had asked him to let her have a few things to read - federal law, the UCMJ, a few case files. Although it had saddened him a lot, seeing she was closing herself off, he had instantly called Harriet, considering her and Bud trustworthy and real friends enough to reveal Mac's state and enlist their logistic help.
Harriet had been devastated, hearing the news, but she had immediately assembled the requested items. The UPS package had arrived early this morning and Harm had at once dropped it off at the hospital with a note for Mac. Now there was really nothing left for him to do but wait until she'd let him get near again. And if there was one thing in the world that Harm felt he couldn't bear, it was being kept on hold until someone else decided he could have a hand in what was happening. It was eating him alive.
Gritting his teeth and trying to block out the jabs of pain shooting through his body, Harm kept up his pace, his eyes fixed to the horizon, when suddenly, in the pocket of his sweatpants, his cell-phone started to beep. He stopped, panting.
"Rabb."
["You lied to me."] Her voice was icy. ["Why?"]
Still trying to catch his breath, he answered, confused, "What do you mean?"
["About my uncle. 'Abroad on assignment. Can't get in touch.' Ring a bell?"] He could tell she was furious.
"Mac..."
["Sarah."]
He sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry. Sarah, I wasn't sure how much I could..."
["The truth, Commander. You promised."]
Guilt was making his stomach knot but he was still reluctant to spill every single detail. The case had too much potential to hurt and confuse her. "Yeah, I did. I'm sorry," he repeated in a low voice. "How did you find out?" Maybe he would get a hint as to how much she already knew.
["The People vs. Colonel Matthew O'Hara".]
Harm's heart sank. "I didn't check what files Harriet packed for you... that was among them?" If she had read the reports, she knew exactly what he had tried to conceal. That her uncle was in Leavenworth - and that this was the point she had to go back to in order to know how they had met. Harm had so hoped he could have given her some indefinite story about having investigated a case together, as if it had been nothing more than an ordinary assignment. Now he knew what questions would follow sooner or later - and that she'd be wary of him and see right through him if he tried to omit anything vital. Damn.
The silence stretched, the only sound crossing the phone-line being Harm's breathing that was slowly returning normal. Harm felt the tension that was building up between them. He could almost hear it crackle in the connection and he knew he was supposed to respond. But for the love of God, he had no idea what she wanted to hear. So, just to say something - anything - before she would end the call, he gave a non-committant, "Well?"
["This is all you have to say?"] Her coldness cut right through his heart, and suddenly he felt he was getting angry.
"Dammit, Mac, what do you want me to say? So you've read the case file. Good! Then maybe you've noticed that for a start, this isn't exactly the easiest topic. You've got absolutely no idea about who you are and you expect me to get into your screwed-up family matters right away? Get real!" He had vented the edge off his rage and hearing her suck in her breath, he calmed down a little, swallowing. "I'm so sorry..." he breathed, mentally slapping himself for his insensitivity. "Really, I'm sorry... this was uncalled for. I..." He took a steadying breath and resolved to take matters into his own hands.
"Sarah?"
At first, he thought she wouldn't answer. But after a few moments he heard a low, somewhat choked ["Yeah?"]
"Can I see you in the hospital garden in thirty?"
He heard her swallow. ["Okay,"] she finally acknowledged very low and ended the connection.
For a full two minutes Harm remained rooted in the middle of the deserted country road, his hands on his hips, staring at the ground before his feet. She wanted progress. He wanted healing. She wanted answers. He wanted her.
This was never going to work.
Jan. 15th 0155 ZULU Hospital garden Yuma, Arizona
As soon as she saw his lanky frame approach in the afternoon sunlight, Sarah felt herself tense and hated herself for being so emotional. Maybe this 'Mac' was quite a useful role after all, she thought as she was trying to compose herself. Maybe she should close Sarah off again and put up a firm façade... but no. Unconsciously, she shook her head at herself. She wanted the pure, absolute truth about who she was and Sarah would prove just as strong as Mac. So help her God.
Yet, Harm's behavior had thrown her off balance more severely than she wanted to acknowledge. 'I did miss him,' she grudgingly admitted to herself, 'And I wish he were the real friend he claims to be. If I could just trust him...' But that was impossible. Just this morning she'd received evidence enough to put her on her guard. And what he had said earlier about her family had hurt. Badly. This wasn't the way friends were supposed to be around each other. What if being friends had never been more than a wish on both sides, never come true because they were unable to communicate?
She had been astonished to realize just how much this thought was tearing at her heart.
Well, she would accept nothing but the truth, she swore to herself for the umpteenth time, trying to ignore the trepidation that was making her hug herself more tightly. 'If you want to be my friend, Harmon, you'd better start acting like one.'
Meanwhile, Harm had reached the bench she was sitting on. "Hey," he greeted her uneasily and motioned to the seat next to her. "May I?"
"Sure." Instinctively, she moved a little away from him.
His eyes were scrutinizing her, seeming to leave behind a tickling feeling wherever they had traveled. His voice was apologetic and unsure as well as compassionate. "You look better," he cautiously began.
"About time," she replied. Again, the silence began to stretch. Sarah felt her previous fury return. How could he just sit there and look at her with this sincere expression that was so disarming? 'Say something, you jerk,' she mentally challenged him, frowning unconsciously.
As if he'd heard her, he complied. Breaking the eye contact and looking down, he heaved a sigh. "Look, Sarah, I..." She could see the effort it was taking him to meet her gaze again. "I meant it. I'm sorry about what I said about your family. Your uncle is one of the finest people I've ever met and I have the highest respect for him. I was... well, I guess I was just afraid the whole story would be too much to digest for you just now. But," he squared his shoulders and tried a half-smile. "I'm sorry I didn't trust your strength, Marine. I should have known better."
Smiling a little herself now, Sarah was about to reply when she saw him sober again, his expression begging her to let him finish, so she only nodded. When he went on, she was astonished to detect a hint of pain in his tone. "I promise I'll be honest from now on. You deserve as much. I just beg you to go a little easy on me, too." Her astonishment rising, she noted that his voice lowered even more. "I'm looking at my best friend on Earth who's desperate to come back to her true self, and that's not exactly an easy sight to bear."
This was a turn she definitely hadn't expected. Seeing this tall, broad- shouldered image of a by-the-book hero sitting there, shoulders slumped, eyes downcast, admitting that he was hurting for her, completely blew her defenses - and the picture she'd gotten of him. Suddenly, she found it amazingly easy to accept that whatever he had done wrong had been done with good intentions. Harmon Rabb, Jr., cared about her and this whole situation was difficult not only for her.
Reaching out and surprising herself just as much as him, she placed her hand on his forearm and squeezed it gently. "Right now I'm having a hard time trusting anyone or anything," she answered. "But I'll try to learn to trust you."
The sudden spark in his eyes and the tentative smile that returned to his face made her heart jump slightly. It was then that she knew she really and truly had a friend she could rely on.
"Can you trust that I don't make promises I can't keep?" he asked carefully, his eyes begging her to say 'yes'.
Knowing she was in considerable danger of losing herself in this amazing sea of blue, she nodded and, out of a sudden inspiration that she couldn't guess the origin of, she replied, "You haven't yet."
It surprised her to hear him draw a sharp breath. For a brief moment, his eyes widened but he apparently tried to conceal the sudden outburst of emotion best as he could. But not well enough.
"Harm? Everything okay?" she asked, worried and confused.
He let his gaze wander around quickly and aimlessly until he seemed to find the strength to face her again. "Why did you say that?" he queried, his voice slightly hoarse.
Sarah had no idea why her answer had shaken him so much. "I don't know. Of course I don't know you well enough to be sure you don't break your word but..." She made an exasperated movement with her hands. "Call me insane but... I could... kind of see it, you know?" She was desperately struggling for words to describe the sensation and she knew she was failing miserably, judging by how Harm was still fixing her gaze, incredulous. She gave up. "Hell, it just felt the right thing to say. Make of that what you will."
She started when he took her hand. "No..." he quickly replied. Confusion was still ringing in his voice but something she would have labeled awed reassurance was shining through now as well, doing anything but set her at ease.
"No, it's not insane at all," was his astonishing answer, a smile slowly creeping up his face again. "You know, at JAG you're famous for having kind of a sixth sense. Comes in pretty handy at times," he said with a slight chuckle before his face clouded afresh and he let go of her hand. "What took me aback were the words you used. Because you..."
Out of nowhere, a scene crossed her mind: a brick-stone building, a doorway, a few steps leading up to it. She was there and Harm was there, too. Green. Her uniform was green. His was white. They were shaking hands.
"Don't make a promise you can't keep."
"I haven't yet."
"Because I said them to you before," she cut in tonelessly, shivering - if from the evening breeze or from anything else she wasn't sure.
Harm nodded slowly. "Is there anything else you remember?" he asked, failing to fully hide the hope that was showing on his features.
Swallowing in defeat, she looked down, shaking her head. "No. And I don't have the slightest idea where that came from."
He sighed. "It's a start, though." She could tell he was trying to encourage her, but his voice was completely sober and disillusioned.
"Yeah..." she agreed without much enthusiasm. Lifting her eyes again, she decided to continue fighting. "What did we agree upon?"
He winced, his face contorting slightly, and took a deep breath. "The history of our friendship is complicated, Sarah. If you really want to understand how we survived six years of constant battle and still always referred to each other as best friends, you should maybe not start right at that point. It's just too far off from what friends normally talk about."
His eyes were imploring her not to dwell on the subject and seeing how uneasy it seemed to make him, she was about to give in when a little voice at the back of her head reminded her that it was the whole truth, and nothing but the truth that she needed to come back. And she knew that if she asked, he wouldn't try his escape. The moment she made the decision, she could see that he could read it in her eyes, and he submitted to her need for an explanation. She didn't even need to say it aloud.
"It was the day little AJ Roberts was born," Harm explained, his voice monotone. "The ambulance arrived only after Harriet had given birth in the admiral's office at JAG. When they were finally off to the hospital, you and I were standing in front of JAG headquarters, watching them leave. You were musing about your biological clock and how you doubted you'd have a family one day. So I said that if neither of us were in a relationship five years from that day, we might as well go halves on a kid. A pact between best friends. That was two and a half years ago."
Sarah needed a few seconds to reassemble her thoughts. Letting out a nervous chuckle, she commented, "Okay, I see your point. This is definitely beyond the confines of an ordinary friendship." She shook her head vigorously as if the movement would somehow clear it. But looking at her friend, she knew he had told her the truth, weird as it might seem. So maybe she should indeed rely on his advice and not dwell on the subject any further for the moment but go back to the beginning instead. Yet, there was one thing she had to know before she would continue on that journey.
"Harm... have we ever been... involved with each other?" She didn't dare face him.
"We were never lovers if that's what you're asking," she heard him reply cautiously and looked up in slight surprise - and disappointment, as she noted, astonished about herself.
"Then why would you make such an offer to me?" she asked, at a loss.
"Because we've always been very close, right from the very start." Once again, his words went straight through to her heart.
"Tell me about 'The People vs. Matthew O'Hara'," was all she replied.
To be continued... (Feedback always appreciated!)
This story is set in the middle of season 7, just after 'Answered Prayers'.
From part four:
Her eyes were glued to her hands that were resting in her lap. Her mind was spinning. Where the devil was she supposed to go from here? What was there to come back to after all? And would this really be worth the effort? Right now, the only answers she could think of were 'nowhere', 'nothing' and 'no'.
When she felt his hand on her shoulder again, she gave in to the inevitable and looked up, allowing him to see there were tears in her eyes. He reached out as if to brush them away but she recoiled, making his shoulders drop.
"Sarah..." Again, the tone of his voice struck her. And suddenly she found it was too much to bear.
"Harm, I... I'm sorry, but, please, leave me alone," she managed to murmur. "I need to think this through on my own."
"But..."
"Please."
He nodded silently, got up and left the room, throwing her one last, sad look before the door snapped shut. To her, it felt as if he had walked out of her life.
She couldn't really blame him.
Part Five:
Jan. 14th 0112 ZULU Countryside outside Yuma Arizona
Sweat was running down his temples across his jaw and his neck, soaking the T-shirt that was already clinging to his body. Harm's breath came in ragged gasps that weren't far from actual groans of pain. Every single bouncing step still hurt like hell but Harm couldn't stop. He had lost track of how many miles he'd run today. He knew he should still go easy on himself, let his leg heal, but sitting idle, he was slowly going insane. His inward pain and frustration needed a valve and wearing himself out up to the point of total exhaustion was the only thing that helped.
During the last couple of days, it had cost him every single ounce of his mental strength to comply with Mac's wish of being left alone. At first, he had tried several times to get to her, but she had given instructions to the medical personnel not to let anyone see her. She had left a note for him, explaining that he shouldn't take it personally, that it was herself she didn't get along with, not him, and that she needed time. And she had stated that she had decided to turn to less personal things, trying to explore her memory. So she had asked him to let her have a few things to read - federal law, the UCMJ, a few case files. Although it had saddened him a lot, seeing she was closing herself off, he had instantly called Harriet, considering her and Bud trustworthy and real friends enough to reveal Mac's state and enlist their logistic help.
Harriet had been devastated, hearing the news, but she had immediately assembled the requested items. The UPS package had arrived early this morning and Harm had at once dropped it off at the hospital with a note for Mac. Now there was really nothing left for him to do but wait until she'd let him get near again. And if there was one thing in the world that Harm felt he couldn't bear, it was being kept on hold until someone else decided he could have a hand in what was happening. It was eating him alive.
Gritting his teeth and trying to block out the jabs of pain shooting through his body, Harm kept up his pace, his eyes fixed to the horizon, when suddenly, in the pocket of his sweatpants, his cell-phone started to beep. He stopped, panting.
"Rabb."
["You lied to me."] Her voice was icy. ["Why?"]
Still trying to catch his breath, he answered, confused, "What do you mean?"
["About my uncle. 'Abroad on assignment. Can't get in touch.' Ring a bell?"] He could tell she was furious.
"Mac..."
["Sarah."]
He sighed in defeat. "I'm sorry. Sarah, I wasn't sure how much I could..."
["The truth, Commander. You promised."]
Guilt was making his stomach knot but he was still reluctant to spill every single detail. The case had too much potential to hurt and confuse her. "Yeah, I did. I'm sorry," he repeated in a low voice. "How did you find out?" Maybe he would get a hint as to how much she already knew.
["The People vs. Colonel Matthew O'Hara".]
Harm's heart sank. "I didn't check what files Harriet packed for you... that was among them?" If she had read the reports, she knew exactly what he had tried to conceal. That her uncle was in Leavenworth - and that this was the point she had to go back to in order to know how they had met. Harm had so hoped he could have given her some indefinite story about having investigated a case together, as if it had been nothing more than an ordinary assignment. Now he knew what questions would follow sooner or later - and that she'd be wary of him and see right through him if he tried to omit anything vital. Damn.
The silence stretched, the only sound crossing the phone-line being Harm's breathing that was slowly returning normal. Harm felt the tension that was building up between them. He could almost hear it crackle in the connection and he knew he was supposed to respond. But for the love of God, he had no idea what she wanted to hear. So, just to say something - anything - before she would end the call, he gave a non-committant, "Well?"
["This is all you have to say?"] Her coldness cut right through his heart, and suddenly he felt he was getting angry.
"Dammit, Mac, what do you want me to say? So you've read the case file. Good! Then maybe you've noticed that for a start, this isn't exactly the easiest topic. You've got absolutely no idea about who you are and you expect me to get into your screwed-up family matters right away? Get real!" He had vented the edge off his rage and hearing her suck in her breath, he calmed down a little, swallowing. "I'm so sorry..." he breathed, mentally slapping himself for his insensitivity. "Really, I'm sorry... this was uncalled for. I..." He took a steadying breath and resolved to take matters into his own hands.
"Sarah?"
At first, he thought she wouldn't answer. But after a few moments he heard a low, somewhat choked ["Yeah?"]
"Can I see you in the hospital garden in thirty?"
He heard her swallow. ["Okay,"] she finally acknowledged very low and ended the connection.
For a full two minutes Harm remained rooted in the middle of the deserted country road, his hands on his hips, staring at the ground before his feet. She wanted progress. He wanted healing. She wanted answers. He wanted her.
This was never going to work.
Jan. 15th 0155 ZULU Hospital garden Yuma, Arizona
As soon as she saw his lanky frame approach in the afternoon sunlight, Sarah felt herself tense and hated herself for being so emotional. Maybe this 'Mac' was quite a useful role after all, she thought as she was trying to compose herself. Maybe she should close Sarah off again and put up a firm façade... but no. Unconsciously, she shook her head at herself. She wanted the pure, absolute truth about who she was and Sarah would prove just as strong as Mac. So help her God.
Yet, Harm's behavior had thrown her off balance more severely than she wanted to acknowledge. 'I did miss him,' she grudgingly admitted to herself, 'And I wish he were the real friend he claims to be. If I could just trust him...' But that was impossible. Just this morning she'd received evidence enough to put her on her guard. And what he had said earlier about her family had hurt. Badly. This wasn't the way friends were supposed to be around each other. What if being friends had never been more than a wish on both sides, never come true because they were unable to communicate?
She had been astonished to realize just how much this thought was tearing at her heart.
Well, she would accept nothing but the truth, she swore to herself for the umpteenth time, trying to ignore the trepidation that was making her hug herself more tightly. 'If you want to be my friend, Harmon, you'd better start acting like one.'
Meanwhile, Harm had reached the bench she was sitting on. "Hey," he greeted her uneasily and motioned to the seat next to her. "May I?"
"Sure." Instinctively, she moved a little away from him.
His eyes were scrutinizing her, seeming to leave behind a tickling feeling wherever they had traveled. His voice was apologetic and unsure as well as compassionate. "You look better," he cautiously began.
"About time," she replied. Again, the silence began to stretch. Sarah felt her previous fury return. How could he just sit there and look at her with this sincere expression that was so disarming? 'Say something, you jerk,' she mentally challenged him, frowning unconsciously.
As if he'd heard her, he complied. Breaking the eye contact and looking down, he heaved a sigh. "Look, Sarah, I..." She could see the effort it was taking him to meet her gaze again. "I meant it. I'm sorry about what I said about your family. Your uncle is one of the finest people I've ever met and I have the highest respect for him. I was... well, I guess I was just afraid the whole story would be too much to digest for you just now. But," he squared his shoulders and tried a half-smile. "I'm sorry I didn't trust your strength, Marine. I should have known better."
Smiling a little herself now, Sarah was about to reply when she saw him sober again, his expression begging her to let him finish, so she only nodded. When he went on, she was astonished to detect a hint of pain in his tone. "I promise I'll be honest from now on. You deserve as much. I just beg you to go a little easy on me, too." Her astonishment rising, she noted that his voice lowered even more. "I'm looking at my best friend on Earth who's desperate to come back to her true self, and that's not exactly an easy sight to bear."
This was a turn she definitely hadn't expected. Seeing this tall, broad- shouldered image of a by-the-book hero sitting there, shoulders slumped, eyes downcast, admitting that he was hurting for her, completely blew her defenses - and the picture she'd gotten of him. Suddenly, she found it amazingly easy to accept that whatever he had done wrong had been done with good intentions. Harmon Rabb, Jr., cared about her and this whole situation was difficult not only for her.
Reaching out and surprising herself just as much as him, she placed her hand on his forearm and squeezed it gently. "Right now I'm having a hard time trusting anyone or anything," she answered. "But I'll try to learn to trust you."
The sudden spark in his eyes and the tentative smile that returned to his face made her heart jump slightly. It was then that she knew she really and truly had a friend she could rely on.
"Can you trust that I don't make promises I can't keep?" he asked carefully, his eyes begging her to say 'yes'.
Knowing she was in considerable danger of losing herself in this amazing sea of blue, she nodded and, out of a sudden inspiration that she couldn't guess the origin of, she replied, "You haven't yet."
It surprised her to hear him draw a sharp breath. For a brief moment, his eyes widened but he apparently tried to conceal the sudden outburst of emotion best as he could. But not well enough.
"Harm? Everything okay?" she asked, worried and confused.
He let his gaze wander around quickly and aimlessly until he seemed to find the strength to face her again. "Why did you say that?" he queried, his voice slightly hoarse.
Sarah had no idea why her answer had shaken him so much. "I don't know. Of course I don't know you well enough to be sure you don't break your word but..." She made an exasperated movement with her hands. "Call me insane but... I could... kind of see it, you know?" She was desperately struggling for words to describe the sensation and she knew she was failing miserably, judging by how Harm was still fixing her gaze, incredulous. She gave up. "Hell, it just felt the right thing to say. Make of that what you will."
She started when he took her hand. "No..." he quickly replied. Confusion was still ringing in his voice but something she would have labeled awed reassurance was shining through now as well, doing anything but set her at ease.
"No, it's not insane at all," was his astonishing answer, a smile slowly creeping up his face again. "You know, at JAG you're famous for having kind of a sixth sense. Comes in pretty handy at times," he said with a slight chuckle before his face clouded afresh and he let go of her hand. "What took me aback were the words you used. Because you..."
Out of nowhere, a scene crossed her mind: a brick-stone building, a doorway, a few steps leading up to it. She was there and Harm was there, too. Green. Her uniform was green. His was white. They were shaking hands.
"Don't make a promise you can't keep."
"I haven't yet."
"Because I said them to you before," she cut in tonelessly, shivering - if from the evening breeze or from anything else she wasn't sure.
Harm nodded slowly. "Is there anything else you remember?" he asked, failing to fully hide the hope that was showing on his features.
Swallowing in defeat, she looked down, shaking her head. "No. And I don't have the slightest idea where that came from."
He sighed. "It's a start, though." She could tell he was trying to encourage her, but his voice was completely sober and disillusioned.
"Yeah..." she agreed without much enthusiasm. Lifting her eyes again, she decided to continue fighting. "What did we agree upon?"
He winced, his face contorting slightly, and took a deep breath. "The history of our friendship is complicated, Sarah. If you really want to understand how we survived six years of constant battle and still always referred to each other as best friends, you should maybe not start right at that point. It's just too far off from what friends normally talk about."
His eyes were imploring her not to dwell on the subject and seeing how uneasy it seemed to make him, she was about to give in when a little voice at the back of her head reminded her that it was the whole truth, and nothing but the truth that she needed to come back. And she knew that if she asked, he wouldn't try his escape. The moment she made the decision, she could see that he could read it in her eyes, and he submitted to her need for an explanation. She didn't even need to say it aloud.
"It was the day little AJ Roberts was born," Harm explained, his voice monotone. "The ambulance arrived only after Harriet had given birth in the admiral's office at JAG. When they were finally off to the hospital, you and I were standing in front of JAG headquarters, watching them leave. You were musing about your biological clock and how you doubted you'd have a family one day. So I said that if neither of us were in a relationship five years from that day, we might as well go halves on a kid. A pact between best friends. That was two and a half years ago."
Sarah needed a few seconds to reassemble her thoughts. Letting out a nervous chuckle, she commented, "Okay, I see your point. This is definitely beyond the confines of an ordinary friendship." She shook her head vigorously as if the movement would somehow clear it. But looking at her friend, she knew he had told her the truth, weird as it might seem. So maybe she should indeed rely on his advice and not dwell on the subject any further for the moment but go back to the beginning instead. Yet, there was one thing she had to know before she would continue on that journey.
"Harm... have we ever been... involved with each other?" She didn't dare face him.
"We were never lovers if that's what you're asking," she heard him reply cautiously and looked up in slight surprise - and disappointment, as she noted, astonished about herself.
"Then why would you make such an offer to me?" she asked, at a loss.
"Because we've always been very close, right from the very start." Once again, his words went straight through to her heart.
"Tell me about 'The People vs. Matthew O'Hara'," was all she replied.
To be continued... (Feedback always appreciated!)