"A tree only hits a car in self defense." (American Proverb)
Chapter 8-Joe, Biff, Vanessa, and Sweet's Day (It's still Friday)
"Ugh, I hate school!" Vanessa exclaimed while driving to school with Sweet in the passenger's seat.
"Who doesn't?" Sweet asked. "I know I would much rather be curled up at home, watching tv, writing poetry, or even cleaning."
"Oh, how did your study date with Biff go?"
"Perfectly. I flirted with him, he bought it, and now I have him hook line and sinker."
"Good." Vanessa smiled evilly.
Sweet shook her head, "You are a character. But I like it."
* * *
"Yo Biff! How was that date last night!" Gary asked.
First period P.E. was always interesting, especially the locker room conversations.
"It went well," Biff said smiling.
"Well? That's it?" Asked the guy who had the locker to the right of Biff's.
"Well it's not like anything really happened but let me tell you, Sweet is really into me. She was non-stop flirting, and touching. And at the end of the night when she had to leave, she kissed me."
"I knew you would win over Joe," another guy said.
"Excuse me? You knew what?" Joe had entered the locker room. "He hasn't won yet. She only kissed him. That means nothing."
"What's wrong Joe? Jealous?" Biff asked.
"No way Biff. You might have gotten the first kiss but she will be mine."
"Whatever Joe, you are delusional."
"Carson!" Gary called, "Seven dollars on Joe!"
Joe and Chet turned to Gary, "You guys are betting on us?"
"Yeah sure, why not?"
* * *
Vanessa met Sweet at her locker before lunch. "So Sweet are you ready for the next part of our plan?"
"Yup, teach those boys to bet on me. I still think it's funny that they think you only just discovered that they have a bet. They don't realize that we've known all along."
The two girls walked to the lunchroom without noticing the blonde boy trying to hide behind a row of lockers. Joe raised an eyebrow, So they know. But they don't know that I overheard their little conversation. This could be good.
* * *
"I can't believe we have those two wrapped between our little fingers," Sweet said, "Somehow I thought they would be smarter than that."
"Ah, sadly they're not," Vanessa said with false sadness.
Sweet laughed. "I kind of feel bad though, we are playing with their feelings."
Vanessa shook her head, "Sweet none of the girls at this school would be too heartbroken if they knew Joe and Biff were being toyed with. If you'd been here longer you would have seen them break almost every girl's heart." Vanessa heard her stomach growl. She got up from their grassy spot, "I'm gonna go get some chips, do you want anything?"
"No, it's okay."
"Alright then."
After Vanessa left, Sweet noticed Biff walking towards her with a strange expression on his face.
"Sweet," he said once he reached her.
"Sit down Biff, it's hurting my neck to look up at you."
He obeyed then went on, "I need to tell you something."
"What?" Sweet asked curiously.
"I want to be your boyfriend."
"You've only known me for less than a week."
"Yeah but I can feel it Sweet. You and I should be exclusive. I mean I know Joe likes you too but he's a major player. Do you really want to be with someone who will probably dump you after a few days?"
Sweet looked stunned, "Biff I really don't know.."
"No worries, just get back to me. Hopefully soon." He quickly kissed her then left.
Two minutes later Sweet saw Joe walking towards her. He sat down next to her. "Hey Sweet I need to tell you something and before you interrupt me here it goes," He paused for breath, "I really think you are the best girl I've met in a long time and I was wondering if you would like to go out with me. If you don't I totally understand but get back to me, Vanessa knows my number and where I live if you need to contact me." He got up and left.
As Joe left, Vanessa came back. "Did I miss something?"
* * *
"I'm not sure I can go through with this Vanessa," Sweet admitted. "I feel really bad now."
"Oh come on!" Vanessa exclaimed in the middle of one of Bayport High's crowded hall ways.
It was the end of the school day and Sweet and Vanessa stood arguing in the middle of the hall.
"Of course not Vanessa! Not now that I know how they feel about me! It wouldn't be right!"
"Fine," Vanessa ground her teeth together, "But this would have been the best thing you would have ever done for anyone!"
As Vanessa stalked away, leaving Sweet to stand alone in the middle of the hall, Joe chuckled. He was well hidden behind the throngs of people trying to escape the building to start their party filled Friday nights. His plan for revenge on the two girls was working. He couldn't wait to tell Biff.
* * *
6:30 that night:
"Joe! Your aunt and I will be at the Wilsons' house if you need us!"
"Alright mom!"
Joe was glad that his aunt and mother were going out. He wanted to be without parental supervision. He wasn't planning anything that his mom or aunt would disapprove of. In fact, he wasn't even planning on going out. He just wasn't feeling up to it.
Three minutes after his aunt and mother left he heard the doorbell ring.
Who the Hell is it? He wondered grumpily.
He walked over to the door and opened it, "Sweet?"
"Hey Joe," she said bashfully, "I was wondering if you wanted to, I don't know, hang out or something."
Joe took in the sight of Sweet standing in front of him in tight black jeans and an even tighter black half-shirt. "Sure."
As she came in and said, "I was thinking about what you said, I really would like to go out with you. The only thing is, I know Biff wanted me to go out with him and I don't want to be cruel to either one of you."
Joe shrugged as he led her to the living room, "Biff is a big boy, he'll bounce back."
Sweet sat on the couch, "I hope so, because between the two of you I would definatly choose you."
Joe grinned as he sat down next to her, "Really? And why is that?"
"Don't get all smug Joe. To tell you the truth, I thought you were cute from the moment I saw you that night when we were breaking into the school." She locked eyes with him for a moment before looking away. "Anyway, what do you want to do?"
"X-Men's showing on Fox tonight."
"Oh good! I love the X-Men. This is going to make you think I'm a total nerd but I collect the comics. I think I have every X-Men comic from the 80s through last month!"
"Really!" exclaimed Joe, "I collect all the series that center around the X-men!"
"So do I! What's your favorite series? Mine is the X-Treme X-Men. It used to be the Uncanny X-Men but then my favorite characters left to become the X-Treme X-men!"
"No way!" Joe exclaimed, "I love the X-Treme X-men, they're my favorite group of X-Men too! Who's your favorite character?"
"Rogue!"
"No way! Mine's Gambit! I guess that means we really are meant to be together."
Sweet smiled, "I've never met another person into X-men as much as I am. Usually I get the standard 'you're too old to read comic books' speech."
Joe laughed, "My brother Frank has given me that speech soo many times it's not even funny." Joe reached for the remote control tuning into X-Men just as it was about to start. "You want popcorn or something?"
"Sure. I can't pass up any opportunity for food."
"Thank God, then I won't look like a pig while I'm eating." Joe was back in five minutes with popcorn, various bags of candy, and six cans of Coke. "Feel free to take of your shoes and put your feet up on the couch." He did so himself as though he was trying to show her that it really was alright.
Sweet complied and began to help Joe finish off the food.
* * *
Biff sat at home, bored. Joe had told him that he didn't want to go to any parties. He had sounded aggravated and serious so Biff hadn't questioned him. Now Biff wished he had. He was sitting cross-legged on his floor arranging his CDs in order of his favorite genres and alphabetized the CDs in their genres. He had already reorganized his closet in order of type of clothing and its color, and cleaned the bathrooms in his house; he was running out of things to do.
"I got it," he said to himself as he finished reorganizing his CDs, "I'll go see how Joe's doing. But first I'll weed the garden out back, I might as well earn some brownie points with my parents."
* * *
Four chilli dogs, eight slices of pizza, and eight bags of candy later:
Joe and Sweet were curled up on the couch, still watching X-Men.
"See this is the part that I don't like about the movie," Sweet told Joe, "the way they suddenly lose their accents."
"Yeah," he agreed, "the acting was a little uneven. And I didn't like that they didn't tell the audience that Mystique is Rogue's mother."
"But they changed so much in the movie, like Rogue having a relationship with Bobby..."
"Which would never happen."
"...that I don't think they even cared anymore if they left out important facts."
"I'm still upset that Gambit isn't in the movie. I heard a rumor that he'll be in the second one though."
"Let's hope so, maybe it'll start a love triangle."
"We should go watch the movie together when it comes out May 2nd."
"That sounds good."
They were both silent as they watched the X-Men battle one of their foes. When the movie finally ended Joe got up and stretched. Picking up the empty bags and dirty napkins he announced, "I'll be right back, just gotta clean this stuff up."
When he got back however Sweet was nowhere to be seen. "Sweet?"
Where could she have gone?
He heard a noise coming from his bedroom. Confused he walked up the stairs and to his room. Opening his door he saw Sweet going through his dresser. It looked like she was actually smelling his clothes. "Sweet?"
The girl jumped and turned around guiltily, slamming the dresser shut in the process.
"What are you doing?"
"I, uh, got lost on the way to the bathroom," she said lamely.
"Well I could show you the way," Joe offered.
"Um, good idea but I have to go home now."
"Let me show you to the door."
Joe walked the girl to his front door and frowned when she left.
What was that about?
When he was about to go back to the living room to finish cleaning he heard the doorbell ring. Opening the door he saw Biff and Vanessa. Without asking to be let in they walked into his house.
"Was that Sweet I saw walking away?" Vanessa asked.
"Yeah. Jealous?" Joe teased.
"Joe did you catch X-Men?" Biff asked.
"Yup." Joe answered, closing the door and following his friends into the livingroom.
"You're such a dork," Vanessa said.
"Hey Sweet likes the X-Men too, "Joe said in his own defense.
He watched as his friends sat on the couch and started to eat the remaining candy.
"I thought you said you didn't want to go out," Biff said, "was that a cover so that you could spend more time with Sweet?"
"No, she came over on her own." Joe joined them on the couch.
Vanessa frowned, "She did?"
"Don't look so surprised Vanessa, she's obviously fallen for the old Hardy charm."
Vanessa rolled her eyes. Then spotted something on the floor. She picked it up. "Um Joe I didn't know any female in your family liked the Red Hot Chilli Peppers."
"What?" Both Joe and Biff asked.
Vanessa showed them what she had found, an all black purse with several band names scribbled on it. "Or maybe you've grown a soft spot for women's accessories."
"Shut up. It must be Sweet's," he took the purse from her and opened it.
"Dude what are you doing?"
"Biff haven't you ever wondered what women keep in these things?"
Vanessa slapped Joe's hands, "That's an invasion of privacy."
Joe ignored her and opened the purse, "What the...." He took out several of his possessions including a matchbox car, a Nascar key chain, keys that he had found, among other things.
Biff and Vanessa looked over his shoulders, surprised.
"Joe, there's got to be a good explanation," Biff reassured.
"I don't think so." quickly he told his friends what had happened shortly before Sweet had left.
"Dude that's just weird. Forget good explanation!"
"Whoa wait!" Joe exclaimed. He turned and looked at Vanessa, "Are you behind this?"
"What!" She exclaimed shocked. "Why would I do this?"
"Look I overheard you and Sweet earlier today, saying that you couldn't believe Biff and I hadn't figured out already that you two had known about the bet even before I accidentally let you know about it."
Vanessa looked at Joe sharply, "I'll admit that we were planning revenge on you two but earlier today we dropped our plans because Sweet got cold feet. She felt guilty because you two have genuine feelings for her."
"Yeah, I heard that conversation too," Joe admitted.
"Geez Joe, have you just been stalking us?"
Biff spoke up, "Stop arguing. Aren't you two worried about this purse full of Joe's stuff?"
"Of course we are!" Vanessa exclaimed.
"The girl is some kind of lunatic!" Joe added.
"No, not lunatic," a soft voice said from behind them, "Just friendly."
All three teenagers jumped off of the couch and turned to see Sweet holding a butcher's knife.
"S-Sweet," Biff stuttered, "How did you get back in here?"
Suddenly the lights went out, they turned back on in two seconds flat but Sweet had vanished.
"D-don't panic," Vanessa said, "Maybe she routinely tours people's houses around 9 at night with a butcher's knife."
"Vanessa that doesn't make me feel better." Joe looked around nervously, "We have to find that psycho!"
"Joe there is no way I'm looking for a girl with a butcher's knife!" Biff exclaimed.
Vanessa gripped Biff's hand tightly, "I'm with you."
Joe looked flustered, "But she could be anywhere in the house!"
The lights flickered again.
"We should stick together," Vanessa whispered.
Joe and Biff complied, staying close to Vanessa. They heard the phone ring and looked at it.
"S-someone should answer it," Biff whispered.
Joe nodded and as a group they headed towards the phone. "Hello?"
"Joe," Sweet said in a sing-song voice, "you can't get away."
Joe hung up the phone, "Oh my God the girl is nuts. She just told me I couldn't get away."
Vanessa's eyes went wide, "Joe we should leave the house, now."
All three ran to the door but when they got there they found that they could not open it.
"What the heck is going on!" Biff exclaimed in a panicked state.
"I don't know!" Joe broke out in a cold sweat.
"W-we should get a weapon," Biff suggested.
"Good idea," Vanessa proclaimed.
The three of them hurried to the kitchen as the lights flickered rapidly, creating a slow motion effect making it harder for them to search the kitchen for any kind of weapon.
"It's no use!" Vanessa exclaimed, "the knives, can openers, they're all gone!"
"What is she planning?" Joe asked no one in particular.
The phone rang again.
"I am so not answering that," Vanessa announced.
"Neither am I," Joe and Biff said in unison.
"Well some one has to," Vanessa said after a long moment of silence. "It could be someone who could help us."
Joe hurried to the phone and picked it up but by that time the person had already hung up. "Crap."
"What if it was her?" Biff asked shuddering.
The phone rang again, Joe picked it up after it rang for awhile. "Hello!"
No dial tone, no answer.
"Please if you are there answer, we're stuck in a house with a madwoman!"
Joe heard nothing on the other end. He quickly hung up, "She's messing with our minds now!"
"Man!" cried out Biff as the lights finally went out, "It's only 9pm, I could be at a party or something but instead I'm here being hunted by some chick!"
Joe felt something around his neck and was alarmed to find that it was a rope. He attempted to call out to his friends but found himself being strangled in the darkness unable to save himself.
"Joe?" Biff called, "Where did you go? I can't see you in the dark."
Before Biff knew what was happening, a piece of duct tape was put over his mouth and someone had tied his hands and legs together.
"Biff?" Vanessa called out in a shaky voice.
Biff tried to call out to her but found himself unable to yell through the bag in his mouth. He was thoroughly terrified. Joe lay on the floor beside him, also tied up. He couldn't warn Vanessa because the strangulation, obviously not meant to kill him, had left him weak.
Suddenly the lights turned on and Joe and Biff saw Sweet and Vanessa on the floor....laughing.
Both boys looked at them confused.
Sweet smiled and let them free of their bonds. Vanessa continued laughing.
Biff's jaw dropped, "Is this your idea of a joke?"
Vanessa nodded through her tears. "You fell for it bad!"
Joe and Biff stood up, thoroughly confused.
"Wait," Joe sad, "I heard you two call off the whole prank thing!"
Sweet rolled her eyes, "You heard what we wanted you to hear."
Vanessa continued, "Joe both conversations that you heard were part of our carefully calculated plans. We planned for you to hear them then tell Biff."
Joe just looked at his ex-girlfriend in disbelief, "So you never intended on calling off the prank."
"Joe," Biff said, "I'm pretty sure that's what she just said. But what I'm confused about is how you knew I would be over here. How did you know I would be here to scare?"
"We didn't," Sweet admitted, "Our primary objective was to scare the crap out of Joe. We wanted to punish him."
"Because we knew he dragged you into the bet," Vanessa finished.
"B-but the flickering lights and the door not opening and you getting into the house," Joe stuttered.
"I manipulated the electric wires in your house and the doorknob is tied to a tree on the outside. As for me getting in, windows are easy to get open." Sweet gloated.
"So where are all the sharp objects from Joe's kitchen?" Biff asked.
Vanessa smiled, "In your dresser Joe."
"But when I was tied up I swear it was a man that grabbed me." Biff said.
"Yeah me too."
"My dad's a colonel in the Air Force, he taught me many martial arts skills that I utilized tonight to hurt you two."
"And the phone calls."
"Actually," Sweet admitted, "I called you from my cell phone but those last two were purely coincidental. I only called you once."
Joe frowned, "So if you didn't call then who did?"
Note to those who are unfamiliar with the X-Men comics....Rogue and Gambit (also known as Remy) are soul mates and that's where Joe's comment comes from.