AN: Happy New Year everyone!!!!!!! I thought it would be cool to start 2004 with a new chappie of this story, so here it is. Best wishes and enjoy!

Chapter twenty-one: Revelations and goodbye.

Kyra couldn't suppress a gasp at that. Severus took no notice of it and went on, " I am a Death Eater, but back when the Dark Lord was gaining power, I reported to Albus everything that happened in the meetings so he could alert... whoever needed to be alerted."

" But… you just joined him so you could help Dumbledore?" She asked, with a shaky voice.

" No," he said and looked down.

" Then why did you join him in the first place?" She demanded abruptly.

His head snapped up sharply, the vertebrae cracking loudly in his neck. " Why do you want to know?" He growled.

Kyra didn't answer. " Tell me," she insisted.

For a moment his lips thinned and she thought he was going to turn away from her. But suddenly he smiled a malicious, predatory smile. " Think of this, think of a desire for power, for prestige... and now think of someone who promises you that he will help you, if only you will serve him. Someone who promises glory, power, and protection if you only submit to his will." Severus shrugged. " Like God, who watches over his faithful servants and rewards the righteous... Homines libenter quod volunt credunt. (Men believe what they want to.)"

Her head shook in silent protestation. " But… he was evil!"

" Indeed. But I did not care. Exitus acta probat. (The outcome justifies the deed.)"

" Then why did you… change your mind?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

He pondered whether or not to tell her everything. The story was horrible and it would probably sicken her up to the point in which she wouldn't want to look at him again. But she had to know the truth.

' No,' his heart protested, ' she is so unpolluted, so innocent, so fragile. I could never corrupt her with my darkness.'

Still, in his psyche he knew that Kyra deserved to know the truth. The truth about him, Malfoy and Voldemort. Making up his mind, Severus started talking, not quite daring to look straight at her.

" One night… their target was an Auror, he was ambushed a taken to the Dark Lord's presence. There, they… we… tortured him. As if that wasn't enough, his wife and daughter were raped right in front of him and then killed. I was the one responsible for holding him down and forcing him to look," he confessed.

Kyra stared fixedly at him, disbelief all over her face. " God… what happened to him?" She choked on the words and her hands darted up to cover the base of her neck in a protective gesture.

Severus noticed it and flashed her a bitter smile. " Oh, he survived… he was allowed to continue living. Sometime later I found that he had lost his mind and had to be locked. Because of what I did."

Suddenly, the woman realized her professor must have done something worse than just holding a man down. " What did you do?" She asked, dreading the answer.

" I reached into his brain with my very own fingers, to jumble his memoirs, to affect his reason and senses."

Kyra let out a tormented sigh. " The Furo Excelsus practice. It's a form of torture in which the victim ends up mad, right?"

" I see Lupin has taught you well," he acknowledged before continuing, " The Dark Lord wanted to test me, see if I was strong enough to do that."

" And did you?"

" Yes, I very well did. But something went wrong and instead of playing with his thoughts and memories, I started sensing his emotions. All of a sudden, it was my little girl the one that was being raped, it was the woman I loved the one being slaughtered," he said, his voice quivering in a way Kyra had never heard it do so.

" Oh my God…"

" I was able to fight those feelings back, I did my job and no one suspected anything. But something inside of me changed, Miss Gardner. And… well, I realized I wasn't… that all the power in the world wasn't enough to lure me into doing something like that… again," finished Severus. But Kyra wanted to know more.

" What happened next?"

" I found myself a fronte praecipitium a tergo lupi (A precipice in front, wolves behind.), so I returned to Dumbledore, told him everything and we agreed that I would continue to attend to those… meetings and then tell him every plan Voldemort had."

" To try and stop him," concluded the woman in an awed voice.

Snape nodded slowly. " Exactly. I even told Albus of the night in which the Dark Lord would attack the Potters..."

A faint smile turned up the corners of her mouth. " You saved Harry's life?"

" Not quite so, but, indirectly and regrettably, I contributed to the little pester's survival," he replied, sounding as if he wanted to kick himself for that.

" But if they ever found out…"

" I would have been tortured and killed," said the Potions Master simply.

" You make it sound as if it didn't matter to you," Kyra pointed out.

" Accipere quam facere praestat injuriam. (It is better to suffer an injustice than to do an injustice.) Besides, I have nothing to lose, Miss Gardner."

" And hasn't it occurred to you that maybe you have something to gain from life?" She protested. " Aegroto, dum anima est, spes esse dicitur. (It is said that for a sick man, there is hope as long as there is life.)"

Their eyes met and their gazes locked. Somehow, that information had brought them closer than any other experience could have, and Kyra felt it. As the electricity grew practically unbearable, she cleared her throat and looked down. " Anyway… that's very brave of you, Professor."

" Oh, yes, I'm a hero." His mouth twisted into a self-deprecating smile and Kyra felt her heart hitch in her chest.

She watched as slowly, his arm curled outwards, his fingers unfurling, seeking something, anything... she placed her own hand in his and felt the warmth of him spread through her arm. It was a lovely feeling. She would miss him.

" Ignis aurum probat, miseria fortes viros. (Fire tests gold; adversity tests strong men.) You are strong, sir." Kyra wasn't sure why she had said that to him, bit Severus seemed to accept her words without any sarcastic comeback.

" And so are you," was all he said, but for Kyra it meant more than any compliment or love declaration ever could.

As he looked at her by his side, holding his hand in hers, so infinitely soft and warm, Severus realized her didn't want to let her go. He knew Potions would be unbearably tiring if she was not there to prove he was actually teaching someone. And his life would be simply insufferable.

He took a deep breath. " Malfoy is a Death Eater as well, but he is not only dangerous because he was the Dark Lord's right hand man. He is dangerous in his own right, cruel, cunning, and scheming. He can administer a terrible torture without any apparent emotion, and shows no remorse. That is the sort of man who is particularly perilous to be associated with... just be careful, Miss Gardner. Stay away from him," he warned her.

Kyra gave him a lopsided smile. " Don't worry, Professor. I'll live in the muggle world and he wouldn't be caught dead leisurely walking at a mall or something like that."

" Take care of yourself, Miss Gardner," said Severus, regarding her with something in his eyes that caused her to swallow hard.

" I will… thank you," she answered. " For your friendship and concern."

He nodded. " Now you can go, run away from me and leave this old aberrant man alone. I won't blame you."

" Professor…" she whispered, standing up without even wanting to.

" Go. NOW, Miss Gardner, just GO," he urged her, his tone recovering its sternness.

" Goodbye, Professor," Kyra whispered, stepping towards him.

He nodded for an answer, not trusting his voice at that moment. She bent and dropped a brief kiss against his cheek, causing him to breath in deeply. Looking at him one more time, she whirled around and fled the dungeons.

Looking back up at the now silent room, Severus sank even deeper in his chair, pulling his dressing gown again tightly round him, as if trying to comfort himself.

" Kyra…" he whispered into the darkness.