Cold Flower
by Kaz

* * * * *

standard disclaimer applied
SPECIAL WARNINGS: slight NON-CON situation in this part, unresolved sexual tension, the rating is PG-15..!!!
and for you who might not notice this before, this is a Muraki x Tsuzuki fic...!!
special thanks to Tiggy for beta chores

* * * * *

Part 6

Tsuzuki woke up with a terrible headache and winced at the bright light shining through the open window. Muraki must have opened it this morning, he thought vaguely. He glanced at the clock on the wall, realizing that it was already late for breakfast, but he couldn't ignore his stomach growling for food. He pushed the blanket off him and climbed out of bed, hoping that he'd be able to make it to the bathroom because he didn't want to throw up on the carpet. Muraki probably wouldn't like the cream-colored rug to be stained with his vomit.

The bathroom was in one corner of the bedroom, just on the other side of the window. Tsuzuki slowly made his way there, reaching for the doorknob gently and almost falling backwards as someone opened the door from the inside. He gaped, staring at Muraki, who just stepped out of the bathroom with only a white towel around his waist. His silver hair was wet, water dripping onto his pale, handsome face.

"Ohayou,Tsuzuki-san!" Muraki said cheerfully, smiling as if he wasn't standing almost naked by the bathroom door. "I thought you were still in bed... I just woke up myself."

Shaking his head, Tsuzuki tried to get rid of his embarrassment over the pale doctor. Funny, Muraki was the one who should be embarrassed by dressing so... inappropriately in front of him; but instead it was his face that started to warm with color.

"Uhm, yeah. Sorry about last night, I..." Tsuzuki could feel his throat giving up on him; he needed to throw up, his head felt so dizzy. He tried to get a hold on the door, so he wouldn't fall to the floor. Muraki seemed to notice that and helped him to stay upright, but the position meant his body was flush against Tsuzuki's. The colors on the shinigami's face deepened even further.

"N-Need... to throw... up." Tsuzuki lifted his face to see Muraki's smiling at him. "Would you mind..." He didn't have the chance to finish the sentence as the sick feeling in his throat started to take control once again. But the next thing he knew, Muraki had guided him to the toilet.

It was damn embarrassing; Tsuzuki cursed himself as he vomited, throwing up all the food he'd eaten the night before into the toilet. The most embarrassing part was Muraki massaging the back of his neck as he threw up, while the doctor's other hand held him so he wouldn't overbalance.

"Better?" Muraki asked him as he stood up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "You know, you shouldn't drink so much, Tsuzuki-san..." Muraki grabbed some toilet paper and helped the violet-eyed man to clean his mouth.

"I'll try to remember that." The shinigami took the paper from Muraki's hand and started to clean himself. "...I'd better take a bath now... and..." He thought about having breakfast, but didn't know how to tell the doctor that he was hungry.

"I'll prepare breakfast then." Muraki smiled as he spoke, making the shinigami redden with embarrassment once again. But this time all he had to blame was his appetite for food. "Unless you want me to help you by scrubbing your back."

"I think I'm able to do that myself!" Tsuzuki hissed in annoyance. "I want some privacy for my bath now if you don't mind..."

Muraki chuckled softly. "Alright then; you don't know what you're missing, Tsuzuki-san." He turned his back on the shinigami and closed the door behind him as he left.

Tsuzuki dashed to the door and locked it. Who knew that the doctor wouldn't change his mind and decide to help him scrub his back, or something even worse? He sighed gladly when he was finally alone in the bathroom, studying the luxurious place for a minute or two. The bathroom was small, but it had a tub as well as a shower. Tsuzuki decided that it wouldn't hurt to take a nice warm bath in the tub. He started to fill his bath and stripped off his clothes. The water didn't seem to fill quickly enough, so he decided to brush his teeth while he waited. Muraki had left him a new toothbrush on the shelf near the mirror. When Tsuzuki had finished brushing his teeth, the water was nearly full to the brim.

The violet-eyed shinigami slid into the warm water, carefully not letting the water spill onto the bathroom floor. For a moment he didn't want to think about anything in this world. He ought to forget everything he was going through, not care what would happen to him today, or tomorrow, or the next four days. He'd made it through the first day; how much worse could the next few days be?

But even as his heart told him to stay calm, he knew that Muraki Kazutaka might have another plan for him. The doctor once said that the wait raised the anticipation; what if everything that didn't happen the first day was a sign of something unpleasant to come in the next days...? Tsuzuki didn't want to think about it too much, but he knew that he needed to prepare for the worst. Besides, Hisoka was safe now, and he had nothing to worry about. Maybe he could even ask for some time to visit the boy tonight, or maybe tomorrow. There was only a small chance Muraki would grant his wish, but there was nothing wrong with trying. Besides, the Muraki he saw last night was different...

Muraki...

"Geh!" Tsuzuki immersed his head in the water and then shook it hard. He felt that pain again inside his head as he rose and leaned back against the tub, but his mind was clear again. How could it be possible for him to think that Muraki was... nice! He must really have had too much drink last night to think such foolish things. If Muraki became a saint, that would be the end of the world.

* * * * *

Tsuzuki spent twenty minutes in the tub and the last ten minutes taking a hot shower. By the time he emerged from the bathroom, his face had turned a bright shade of pink. He stepped out of the bathroom wearing only a bathrobe that Muraki had left for him. Tsuzuki didn't realize that he wasn't alone in the room until his feet touched the thick fabric of the carpet and he lifted his head towards the bed.

Muraki sat on one side of the bed, his hands crossed on his chest, smirking dangerously. The doctor wore an identical bathrobe to his own, but the belt was slightly loosened. The violet-eyed shinigami swallowed hard, biting his bottom lip. Muraki couldn't be... he couldn't possibly want...

As Muraki started to rise from the bed, Tsuzuki's feet instinctively stepped back. His eyes must have reflected his fear because Muraki smiled at him and whispered, "Everything will be okay, Tsuzuki-san," and that familiar, wicked smile crossed the doctor's face again. "Don't be scared of me..."

But he couldn't stop feeling fear when Muraki kept moving towards him, his eyes predatory. The next thing he knew, Tsuzuki was pinned between the taller man's body and the wall. He gasped in surprise as his back pressed against the cold wall, realizing there was nowhere to run.

"Tsuzuki..." The voice was heavy with desire and Tsuzuki could feel his knees turn to water with the strange rush of fear in his heart. Muraki's silver eye stared deeply into his; this time it wasn't hidden behind the glasses. One of Muraki's hands found his wrist and held him still against the wall, while the other sneaked around his waist, playing with the belt of his bathrobe.

"We wasted our time yesterday, Tsuzuki-san..." Muraki leaned closer, nuzzling the smooth neck, and breathed softly below the shinigami's earlobe. Tsuzuki closed his eyes as he felt a slick tongue start to lick his skin, followed by a gently nip. "Today I'll make sure I get what I've always wanted..."

Tsuzuki's cry was caught inside his throat. He had thought that he was okay, that the nausea of the alcohol had gone after the warm bath. So what was this loathing he felt inside his stomach right now?!

He felt Muraki plant wet kisses all over his neck; his hand pulled open the collar of Tsuzuki's robe to reveal his skin, and then that mouth started to suck on it greedily. The shinigami bit his bottom lip hard, until Muraki's fingers stopped him. His eyes met Muraki's and he saw a faint smile.

"Don't hurt yourself, Tsuzuki," Muraki breathed, before capturing his lips in a searing kiss. "Give yourself to me willingly... And I'll show you something you've never imagined..."

Tsuzuki felt a warm hand slip inside his bathrobe, stroking his chest and down to his stomach. Muraki's mouth and tongue had moved to his throat, working on his skin. He felt his robe being tugged at by a calloused hand, and he was now standing half naked against the wall.

But no matter how much he felt like crying, he couldn't. He'd known that this was going to happen sooner or later, and he should've been prepared for it. Wasn't he ready to give in to Muraki last night? Hadn't he cried as he thought the doctor would take him when he was drunk? So why couldn't those tears come now and wash away all his disgust at himself?!

He felt fingers start to loosen his belt and the next second he found himself standing completely naked in front of Muraki. The doctor licked his lips. "Beautiful... I always knew you were beautiful, Tsuzuki-san..."

Tsuzuki looked away, trying to ignore Muraki's eyes roaming all over his body. Ghostly fingers trailed along his torso, studying him inch by inch. Another pang rose inside his heart and Tsuzuki felt disappointment.

Disappointment? Of what?

And then he remembered that man who'd stood alone in the darkness in front of the thick glass door. It was someone else, Tsuzuki realized. There was no way that this Muraki was the same person he'd seen last night. He'd thought that inside the doctor's cold heart he still had some feeling that made him human. Oh, how wrong he was... How could he possibly think that Muraki was the way he was now because he was lonely?! That there was a small chance for him to become sane again and stop killing innocent people?!

With that thought inside his head, Tsuzuki finally felt the wet traces on his cheeks. He was crying, and it was because of that bastard...

"Don't cry, Tsuzuki-san..." Muraki licked those tears away with the tip of his tongue, and then kissed the corner of the shinigami's lips sweetly. "Please don't cry..."

"How can you..." Tsuzuki hissed as Muraki stroked his side in a sensual gesture, "...how can you possibly say that when you're hurting me...!"

Muraki smirked and leaned closer to plant yet another kiss on the shinigami's mouth. "Hurting you? How can you say that when your body's enjoying it?"

Tsuzuki's eyes widened in surprise. He hadn't really expected those words from the doctor. But he knew that Muraki was right; part of him had awakened at the sensual dances Muraki's hands and mouth had performed. He couldn't say anything to defend himself, for he knew that words were useless. Muraki had found the definite proof of his desire and would use it against him.

"Ne, Tsuzuki-san... This doesn't feel so bad, does it?" Muraki chuckled as he wrapped his fingers around Tsuzuki's length. Tsuzuki hissed, but he had to admit that part of him almost begged for it. "I dare say that you enjoy it as much as I do..." Another evil laugh echoed inside the room as his arousal throbbed against the doctor's palm.

"Why--?!" Tsuzuki couldn't control his voice anymore; it sounded so different now. Weak, hoarse, and at the same time, filled with need. "Why are you doing this...?!"

Muraki caressed the bangs that covered Tsuzuki's eyes and kissed the tip of his nose. Leaning closer, he caught the shinigami's lips in another kiss, this time more passionate. Tsuzuki felt the doctor's tongue sneak inside his mouth and he let him roam inside, while the warm hand never stopped torturing his erection. The tongue moved to his throat, tracing circular patterns, marking every inch of the shinigami's skin. Tsuzuki wasn't going to submit, but he couldn't deny the doctor's desire because of their agreement.

Yes, that was it... It all started with the agreement between them. As he looked back to the past, Tsuzuki found that strength again inside him. He was doing this for Hisoka; no regret could come from this. This torture of him was nothing compared to what Hisoka had been through in his nightmare. A nightmare that could've drowned him forever in the darkness. But with this agreement he had saved Hisoka's life. And nothing was more important to him than to see that green-eyed boy again; to see his eyes glare at him again on their next mission. To see that rare smile cross his lips again...

Hisoka...

And suddenly Muraki's lips left him and the hand stopped moving. His body was pushed away by the doctor the second after that. Confused and flushed, Tsuzuki leaned back, using his palms to support himself from sagging to the floor. His eyes searched for Muraki's hesitantly and he saw anger in the cold silver eye.

"M-Muraki..?!" He didn't even know why he was stuttering. His mouth felt dry and his heart quickened every second, frightened. He didn't know what had made Muraki act like that. What had he done?!

The doctor's eyes moved from his face to the bathrobe on the floor. He bent and took it with one hand, and abruptly threw the white fabric into Tsuzuki's hands. Without saying a single word, he walked to the small table near the bed and picked up his cigarettes, lighting one.

Tsuzuki still held the bathrobe in his hands, unsure why Muraki had given it back to him after all his attempts to take the thing off. His hands started to tremble as he raised his head, seeking explanation in the silver-haired man's expression. Why was had started to feel so strange?! Why had he started to feel... guilty?! Guilty...?!

He remembered the last time he felt like this; Oh God... when Muraki wore the same expression as he had now. It wasn't anger, the shinigami recalled. It was disappointment. It was the same look Muraki gave him when he started to think about Hisoka.

And a few minutes ago...

"I..." Tsuzuki didn't understand why he even bothered trying to explain. Muraki wasn't anyone important to him. He was a murderer, no more than that! "I..."

Asato, what are you thinking?!

"It's not my fault if I started to think about him, okay?!" Tsuzuki blurted out, didn't know where the courage to say it came from. Muraki still didn't change his expression; white smoke wisped around his face. "Y-You're the one who started it..."

The sound of the phone ringing in the living room could be heard from inside the small bedroom, and Muraki started to walk to the door. He stopped for a second in the threshold, not looking back. "You called his name."

"W-What?" Tsuzuki was stunned, face turning pale.

"You called his name." Muraki turned his face and stared deeply into Tsuzuki's violet eyes, "That's what happened, Tsuzuki-san..."

A deafening silence surrounded the shinigami as he stood in the middle of the bedroom, his hands still clutching the white bathrobe. He could hear Muraki talking to someone on the telephone, but his voice seemed so far away. In fact, everything felt so wrong right now. He didn't know where he stood anymore; had he lost his ground?!

As he started to collect himself and put the bathrobe back on, the door opened and Muraki stepped inside. Smoking his cigarette, he stared at the shinigami briefly before saying, "We're going to have lunch with Matsuoka. Wear something appropriate."

And then he disappeared into the bathroom.

* * * * *

Everything was perfect...

It was the first thought inside Muraki's head as he finally caught the beautiful shinigami in his arms. Everything about him was beautiful, every inch of him was perfection; from the beautiful amethyst eyes that were more beautiful than any gems in the world, to the fragile heart inside.

He knew that he had to go easy the first time. He didn't want to scare the shinigami away, although he had so many plans inside his head concerning Tsuzuki. But then again, they still had four days left before them. He may not have ruined his plans to have the shinigami, to finally reach the deepest part of him and have him completely.

Until he murmured that name...

Muraki still couldn't believe he was feeling this... mad? Disappointed?! Humiliated?! How could Tsuzuki possibly call someone else's name when he was with him?! How could Tsuzuki call that boy's name when he was kissing him?!

Is it him you imagine kissing you, Tsuzuki-san?! Is it him you've wanted all this time?! Is that why you're making this trade with me?!

Faintly disgusted at his own thoughts, Muraki closed the door behind him as he reached for the phone. A female voice was on the end of the line. "Mayuko?!" He was half-surprised. Mayuko was the wife of Matsuoka Kenji, the man who had his birthday celebration last night, and not a person Muraki thought would've called him today.

"Muraki-san, I hope I haven't called at a bad time," Mayuko said quietly. Muraki could only smirk at the words. Well, she might have disturbed him if the shinigami hadn't been too busy thinking of his partner.

"No, no, Mayuko-san, certainly not, Is there anything I can do to help you?"

The woman hesitated for a long moment before continuing. "Well, I heard that you'll be staying in town for five days. So Kenji and I would like to invite you for lunch today."

Muraki peered at the clock; it was almost eleven now. He hadn't realized how quickly time had flown. He'd been planning to spend the day with Tsuzuki, but after what had happened between them just now he knew that everything would end up awkward and wrong. Maybe this lunch offer was something he should consider.

"You can bring your friend with you, Muraki-san." Mayuko said as if reading his mind. "He didn't look too good last night. I hope he's feeling better already..."

Muraki smiled. "Oh yes, he's better now, not to worry, Mayuko. And certainly, it will be a pleasure for me and Tsuzuki to have lunch with you and Matsuoka."

"That will be splendid, I'll tell Kenji right away."

"Thank you for the offer," Muraki said, before putting the handset back. Funny, Mayuko had sounded rather strange on the phone. Maybe there was some reason why they were inviting him to lunch?!

Not wanting to wait any longer, the doctor walked back into the bedroom. He saw the shinigami had put his bathrobe back on, was now busy fixing the belt. The beautiful face was still as pale as a doll's; the one that reminded him of his antique collection. Such a shame... He could be such a beautiful part of his collection... And that feeling of rage started to creep up inside his heart again.

"We're going to have lunch with Matsuoka. Wear something appropriate," he said shortly before walking to the bathroom. He didn't even stay to hear what the shinigami might say in reply. Maybe he just didn't care.

Are you falling in love with him, Tsuzuki-san?!

Love... is an illusion...

-tbc-

Omake:
Yes, oyasumi means 'good night, sleep well...' (sorta like that, I think... *frowns* yeah...); ohayou means 'good morning'.
to Kadzuki: I'll be honored, I don't think that you'd need my permission though ^^;;; and oh, how's Jubei doing? *eep*

Review this fic now, thanx :)