A/N: Sorry - the delay in updating is mainly because of
1) Christmas
2)Star Wars Jedi Academy, my brothers computer game, the noise from which is making it bloody difficult to do
3) My biology project, and
4)My other fanfic, A Thousand Eyes, which I've got a bit carried away with because I've been writing it for months and I just want to upload it all now.
Never mind, it's here now, so.... ENJOY!
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Chapter 5 - Tadpoles and Questions
Wednesday 22 June
10.00am Sitting at the back of biology. Learning about a rabbit's digestive system. I did my excellent impression of a lockjaw germ but our cover teacher Miss Hayweth didn't like it much.
10.01am Shame really.
10.20am Feeling a bit worn out with all this hard work. I might have a little snooze actually. You know, have a dream about snogging the Sex God, that sort of thing.
I really think I should go and see Dr Clooney about snogging withdrawal. Its critically damaging my health. After every party (the sort where you stay up til 6 in the morning and stagger home drunk) my eyes are all puffed up and my cheeks are colourless. My head hurts a bit too. It comes from watching everyone else on the planet snog someone while you are left alone at the bar for hours on end.
10.25am Mmmm......... Robbie........
Maybe I'll just lean back a little........
10.45am I am outside Slim's office, apparently in disgrace. It's hard to look ashamed when you're cracking up though.
It turns out that the Blodge teachers were thick enough to put a huge glass tank of tadpoles behind the back bench. Why can't they put them in a pond like any normal person?
But I suppose if you dedicate your whole life to torturing innocent party-goers in concentration camps (schools) by making them examine bits of slime and frog guts you can't really be called normal, can you?
Anyway, I was just taking a break and leaning back for a bit on my chair, when the top of my head smashed into the glass tank. I've got little shards of glass in my hair AND there's blood running down my cheek. Not a pretty sight, I can assure you. If the Laugh saw me now he'd scarper quick. My hair is dripping with slimy water.
Sacre bloody bleu. There's even a tadpole swimming about in it.
As soon as Slim has told me what she'd like to do to me, but can't because it is an illegal punishment at present, and dolled out the usual fifty lines or so instead (probably "I must not break tadpole tanks". Pathetic.), I get escorted to hospital. I keep trying to tell them that it's just a few cuts here and there but they won't listen.
12.00am Hospital. Mutti and Vati just stormed in. I thought Vati was going to explode, he was redder than... Er.... Something very red, anyway. It's just as well he didn't explode, this whole thing is tres embarrassment. without fleshy bits of Vati all over the walls.SHUT UP, BRAIN!!!
12.05am Apparently I have mild concussion but cette une lie, I have nothing more than smudged lip gloss. The hilariosity of it all is making me feel like I'M about to explode.
SHUT UP...
02.00pm Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
She shoots, she scores!!!
02.01pm I am officially une invalid. As I have 'concussion' I am forbidden to go to school for 2 days!
Hawkeye is fuming. I can literally see smoke coming out of her ears.
03.30pm Jas said, "Well, I think it's terrible, first you fall asleep and then you get to skive off school. Not to mention all those poor tadpoles you killed."
"Jas, nobody cares about tadpoles. Anyway, I'm not skiving, it's for my health."
"I wonder what Robbie would say if he knew you were smashing up tadpole tanks in his absence."
She stood there, twiddling her fringe absent mindedly, wittering on about tadpoles.
God, I hate it when she does this.
Shut up, fringey.
08.30pm I just found a card for me on the doorstep. Excitement! Thankfully I snatched it up before Angus could attack it. I wonder who it's from.
08.32pm Triple merde with knobs on. My red bottom is pounding with red bottomosity.
The card says,
Hey gorgeous,
Get well soon! I wouldn't want you to have concussion on our date. Don't go breaking any more tadpole tanks, OK?
Dave
PS I've got all these images of you smashing up tanks with your head.
PPS The whole thing sounds pretty bloody hilarious actually.
PPPS Maybe I should try it sometime.
3 days until my date with the Laugh.
10.15pm Robbie wouldn't think it was "pretty bloody hilarious", he'd think it showed no maturiosity at all.
10.16pm But he is a Sex God, so that makes up for it.
10.17pm But Dave the Laugh is, well, a laugh. And a really good nip libbler. And he dumped Ellen for me.
10.18pm But I love Robbie!!!
10.19pm Don't I?
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Heehee! Thank you once again to all my reviewers, they are:
Bluepower10 : Thank you, I wasn't sure whether to put Libby's song in but I'm glad you like it!
Winged Seraphim : You sound as if you really know what you're talking about! Your comments were really helpful. I know that Georgia doesn't say the f- word in the books but I couldn't resist putting it in.
Artemisgirl: Well, I really don't want to get beaten up with a wet noodle, so... Here it is!
SpriteREMIXgirl: Life isn't fair! If it were I would be married to Aragorn, Faramir, Jack Sparrow AND Will Turner. Thank you so much, anyway!
Apple crisp: Interesting name. I would hate to be responsible for you collapsing or something which is why I've put Dave the Laugh in this chapter.
Lillypebbles: I tried to join your group but it didn't quite work.
Melissa-lee 1: I know Jas can be stupid but actually I think she's much cleverer than Georgia. She's a sort of perfect person which is why Georgia finds her so annoying. She is totally faithful to Tom, tells him everything and has a totally stable relationship, she doesn't like torturing Elvis Attwood, she isn't biased against Wet Lindsay, she has a really tidy bedroom... This is how I see her, anyway. No offence meant, and none taken from your review.
Medaangel: You really should read the books you know, they're fantastic!
KittyCatBlack: Cool name. Very cool indeed.
Becky41: Couldn't agree more, regan certainly is a dumb ass.
SexiglassesSNOG: Thank you for being my most devoted reviewer, you are unbelievably cool with a capital C!
Thanks everyone! I will (hopefully) update soon!
Dancingmango xxx