Jim's Folly

*throws a party* HURRAH! We've reached forty chapters! I thought this would make it to about twelve chapters. Thanks for all the support, guys. I really can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

Chapter Forty

Andrew was in the shower, singing quietly to himself. His heart was aching. He hadn't seen his mother in years. Each time it hit him like a new revelation, and he was closer and closer to the breaking point.

Even though he was only twelve, his voice was already beginning to change. He figured it would be fully changed by the time he was thirteen, which wasn't too far off.

Singing quietly to a song he heard, he tried to keep his voice low.

"There's a magic only two can tell; in the dark night ultra violet is a wicked spell. The stars and planets taking shape; a stolen kiss has come too late…"

Turning off the water and drying himself off, he dressed and prepared to go to bed. Simon was out again, probably off gallivanting with one of the many ladies he brought home each night. A few had hit on his twelve year old son, but Andrew had taken to his room and hid there in the dark, singing quietly to himself. He figured that if Raven's voice made him feel better, why wouldn't his own voice, the incarnate of her own, work too?

After double checking that Simon wasn't home, he began to belt out lyrics to various songs.

"I want to heal, I want to feel what I thought was never real; I want to let go of the pain I've held so long!" Screaming always made Andrew feel better. After he was sure the doors were locked and he was safe, he crawled into bed and hid his face beneath the covers so the darkness wouldn't be able to see him crying himself to sleep.

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On Andrew's thirteenth birthday, Raven lit a candle at the dinner table for him.

"To my baby boy," she whispered, a solitary tear falling. Jim kissed the side of her head. "He's okay, Ray. I know he is."

She nodded, sitting down. "I hope so."

It had been a month since her doctor's appointment and she could already feel her body beginning to change. She'd been through this before, but…it was still a new experience each time. Each time she looked in the mirror, she could tell she was getting bigger, even though Jim couldn't see a thing. She tried to convince him it was a maternal thing, but he just shrugged, patted her stomach and left the room with a smile on his face.

Raven was already beginning to think of how nice it would be to hold a baby again. She had loved raising Andrew as a baby. Babies were wonderful to hold…they smelled good, they were so soft and small… Raven giggled to herself in the mirror. She wondered what the baby would be. If it was a girl, she would be ecstatic. She'd wanted a girl after Andrew. A big brother to her baby, just like Mark was to her. Even if her baby was a boy, she'd be happy. Jim would probably like a boy to play with and to teach him the things his father had never taught him. However, a girl would be treated just the same in the ways of spoiling. She would be his little princess. She'd have everything she could ever want, ever dream of. Raven blushed. Closing her eyes as she put her hands on her stomach, she felt a little silly as she looked down at herself. "Come to us soon, little one…"

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That night when Raven went to bed, she felt strange. It wasn't a normal stomach pain…it was sharper. Sharper and slightly more severe. She decided to have a shower to relax her muscles.

Jim was reading his solar surfing magazine on his bed when he heard his wife screaming.

Yanking the door open, he was shocked to find Raven sobbing on the floor of the tub. She was surrounded in blood.

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Doctor Orca nodded, removing her glasses and putting them on her head.

"Mr. Hawkins, your wife had a miscarriage. This is very common among women, I'm afraid. It very well could be from the stress of late. I won't bore you with long doctor words, but I will tell you that she will take awhile to heal. If it is in your realm, you two are able to try again in a couple of months."

Jim nodded. "Thanks, Doc. I'll tell her."
Doctor Orca nodded firmly and tightened her lips grimly. "Jim, if she's ever needed you more, this is the time. She needs you more than ever in her entire life. She will probably go through denial, then depression. She needs family, love, affection. Shower her. Make sure she knows it wasn't her fault."

Jim nodded, ignoring the tears that burned behind his eyes.

How could this happen. Why did women have miscarriages? Why was that…allowed? What caused this? A million questions raced through his mind but only one stood out. Why Raven?

Doctor Orca pursed her lips and looked at the ground. "I'm dreadfully sorry this happened to you, Mr. Hawkins. Tell Raven to come by tomorrow morning for a checkup, okay?"

Jim nodded, biting his lip. There was no stopping the tears this time. Doctor Orca left and closed the door behind her as Jim gathered his sobbing wife into his arms and they grieved together.

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The second song I'm sure you all know. The first was Savage Garden's "Carry on Dancing." The second song, of course, was Linkin Park with "Somewhere I Belong."

Lyrics, as always, at Letssingit.com.