Writing in bold denotes Draco's thoughts. Ordinary text denotes Harry's thoughts.
Also, you should note that this story was originally written after the Goblet of Fire but before the Order of the Phoenix so it is in now an AU.
I hope you enjoy this chapter and as always, please review!
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When dinner was over, the sixth year Gryffindor's and Slytherin's made their way back to Snape's dungeon classroom to take Veritoptica potion.
When everyone was seated next to his or her partners (Harry had moved his chair as far as possible away from Malfoy as the small space around their desk allowed.) Snape held up his hand for silence and began to speak.
"I want you all to listen very carefully, I shall say this only once."
"If you have made your potions correctly, you will be able to see into the very recesses of your partners mind – however with the amount of potion you'll be taking the effect will only last for about 20 minutes after which time if you reveal the information you discover to anyone AT ALL without the permission of the individual whose mind you had access to you will suffer a headache so severe that you will be violently sick and green spots will appear all over your body and they cannot be removed! I am not joking!" Snape finished, eyes glittering maliciously. Harry shivered and took a sideways glance at Malfoy, who was sitting arms folded – face impassive.
Snape moved among the desks handing out vials containing the potion, each labelled with the name of the person whose blood it contained.
When everyone had received the potion Snape indicated that they should all drink.
Harry gulped the potion down and grimaced slightly as the iron taste of blood slid down his throat. Then he waited for something to happen.
Suddenly he could hear a voice in his head and it wasn't his own!
Malfoy's thoughts and memories were filtering into his brain like the steady drip, drip of a leaking tap; this gave Harry time to reflect on the information he was discovering. He sneaked a sideways look at Malfoy, who was sitting next to him, staring into space, face expressionless so that it was impossible for anyone to observe his reactions to Harry's thoughts.
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The potion caused Malfoy's thoughts to enter my brain fairly slowly as if he was spelling them out to a rather dim witted friend (Crabbe or Goyle perhaps). This was useful because given the nature of the stuff I was finding out – I was going to need some time to absorb the information.
I saw a girl being raped and killed at a death eater's meeting. I tried to help but my father put me under the Cruciatus curse and then the full body bind, I couldn't move, I was forced to watch. It was then I knew that I could never be one of them.
I didn't know what to think, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Malfoy has been to a death eater's meeting. When? Did he choose to go or was he made to?
Lucius Malfoy used an 'Unforgivable Curse' on his own son, I found myself wincing involuntarily as I remembered what it had felt like when Voldemort had put that curse on me but to do it to your own flesh and blood. I looked up at Malfoy then wanting to tell him without words that I knew how that felt, that I knew how horrible the death eater's gathering must have been, when I realised that I didn't need to – he knows what I am thinking just as I know what he's thinking.
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"Kill the Spare!" I can still hear those words in my dreams, I wake up sweating and I can see Cedric lying in front of me – dead! I keep playing the events over and over in my head. Could I have stopped it happening? Why did I tell Cedric to take the cup with me? Why didn't I shield him? It all happened so fast, there wasn't time but I should have tried. I feel so guilty.
It's not your fault. There was nothing you could have done. Look what happened to me. You don't fuck with the dark lord; he won't let anything stand in his path.
Tied to his father's headstone… Voldemort put me under the Cruciatus curse. It was the worst pain I have ever felt, worse than anything imaginable. They laughed as I screamed in pain. They laughed, did they laugh at Draco too?
Voldemort put the Cruciatus curse on Harry? I never knew that. My father didn't tell me, was he among those who laughed at Harry's pain. Would I have done?
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I always thought that I would follow in my father's footsteps, do as he did but now I don't know what I'll do. I want to be good, I want to fight Voldemort but I'm afraid, I'm afraid of what they might do to me. There is no one that I can turn to. Everyone thinks I am evil – after all I am Lucius Malfoy's son, it's in the blood. But I'm not. Not anymore.
I believe you. I know you're not. I can help.
Maybe I could be a spy for Dumbledore, but why would he ever trust me? He knows what my family is like; he'll probably think it is part of death eater plot.
I'm not sure I could spy anyway; I think the death eater's know that I don't want to be one of them anymore.
Dumbledore will keep you safe.
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Sirius Black isn't a traitor. He's my godfather, I write to him and he writes to me. He helps me; he cares about me. Not many people do, not really anyway. They care about 'The Boy Who Lived' but they're not interested in me. Not the real me, the one who gets scared sometimes. Yeah that's pretty funny isn't it? The 'brave' Harry Potter, who' s supposed to epitomise Gryffindor house gets frightened. Sometimes I have nightmares that are so bad I wake up screaming covered in sweat and I shake – I feel so cold, so alone – there is no-one to warm me up. Ron and Hermione are going out now. I'm not jealous, I just wish there was someone for me. I wish I knew what it was like to be part of a real family, to have a mother and a father, maybe brothers and sisters, Mrs Weasley is the closest thing I have to a mother and she has seven children of her own. I feel so lonely, even though I am always surrounded by people.
Everyone expects me to defeat Voldemort eventually. Everyone expects me to be good and brave and noble. Sometimes I don't feel like I'm any of those things but it is what is expected of me and that isn't going to change any time soon.
Sirius Black – not a traitor, Sirius Black writes to Harry? Why didn't my father tell me? He must know, he must know Wormtail.
Wormtail was probably there torturing that girl.
He took my blood.
What?
He helped to revive Voldemort, he cut off his hand and he took my blood. Did you see a death eater with a silver hand?
Yes, he was the one who put the full body bind on me I saw him raise his wand; his arm glinted in the moonlight. He's the one who betrayed your parents?
Yes, he's the scum. I wish I had let Remus and Sirius kill him when they had the chance.
No you don't. You're better than that Harry. I know I've seen into your head. I know you.
I know you too.
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Harry's eyes met Draco's and Draco nodded.
Harry looked around the room at the other pairs, Neville was grinning at Hermione, obviously he now knew about her and Ron's relationship, she was in turn was looking at him rather sadly, no doubt discovering for the first time why it was that Neville lived with his grandmother. Harry looked over at Ron who was sitting with Lavender Brown; looking scandalised 'I wonder what he's just found out?' Harry thought but he had very little time to dwell on that before his concentration was once again focused on the information he was getting from Malfoy's brain. He had known that Lucius Malfoy was a death eater, he had known that family honour was prized above all else within the Malfoy household but he was not prepared for the enormity of the information coming his way.
Again he turned towards Malfoy, looking for an indication that he was aware of the importance of the knowledge that Harry now had about him and his family. The time was now nearly up and most of the class' expressions showed relief that their innermost thoughts and feelings would be safe within their own minds once more, Harry however, was disappointed that his connection with Malfoy would soon be broken.
Snape stood up and waved his wand muttering, "Finite Incantatem" Malfoy's voice disappeared from Harry's head and Harry felt strangely empty.
The class were now standing up and moving towards the door.
Harry and Malfoy both remained seated, not looking at each other. Ron moved towards Harry.
"Coming Harry?" He asked as he reached Harry's seat, Harry shook his head.
Ron looked at Harry strangely but he and Hermione left leaving Harry alone with Malfoy and Snape.
Snape looked up from his desk and told them both to leave, looking at them in much the same way as Ron had.
Harry and Malfoy left together and walked in silence up the stairs from the dungeons not speaking. They reached the entrance hall and stood silently together, looking awkward as they tried to digest the new information they had discovered about each other. Both of them knew that they would have to talk about what they had found out. Harry was the first one to voice this.
"I think we need to talk, Malfoy." He said and to his surprise Malfoy nodded mutely. He was standing with his head down, arms folded.
"Well when do you want to meet?" Harry asked. Draco shrugged. Harry sighed.
"What about tomorrow night after dinner, in the Owlery?" Draco nodded again.
They both turned away and Harry saw Draco walking back down the steps to the dungeons.