Mae fumbled her way across the room, taking special care to stub her toe on everything between the bed and the door, with the exception of anything sharp and upturned, which she promptly stepped on, instead. With that ritual out of the way, she opened the door and squinted against the light.
"Oh, hey, kiddo," someone said. "Sorry, did we wake you?"
Mae's eyes slowly adjusted to the light. Courtney was sitting on one end of the couch, with Scarlett on the other end. Mae was mildly surpised to see Lady Jaye sitting in another chair. She looked at a clock; it was only 8:40.
"Don't worry about it," she said. "Last thing I need is to wake up at 0300 and then not be able to make it to the end of the day." She shuffled over to the pantry and pulled out a large glass, which she filled with water. That done, she came into the common area. "Jaye, Scarlett. Mind if I join you?"
"Not at all," said Scarlett. "It's Shana and Allie, by the way."
"Thanks." She pulled the chair out from under the computer desk and sat. "You guys sound like you're having fun. What's going on?"
"Well, in the interest of making sure our blood sugar levels stay within acceptable limits, we have put away the better part of a bag of Cheez Doodles -"
"We Joe girls are true gourmands, you see," interrupted Courtney.
"- and an awful lot of YoJoe Cola, which, I feel I must warn you, tastes a helluva lot like carbonated ass. It is, however, free. We're also attempting to get some information about some of Allie's adventures in the motor pool today," said Shana.
"Oh, my GOD," groaned Allie, putting her head in a pillow. "PLEASE let it go."
Mae laughed. It suddenly became clear where her nickname had come from; her laugh was very loud, very high pitched, and came in short, staccato bursts.
"How many did you get in there, again?" Shana asked.
Allie just rolled her eyes and stared at the ceiling.
"What do you think, was she showing off for the new kid?" Courtney asked Shana.
"I don't know. I shall now endeavor to find out. Cricket -" Shana started.
"Mae, please."
"Mae - are you the most easily impressed person on the entire planet?"
"I'd like to think not."
"Then I think we have to assume that Allie wasn't actively trying to impress you."
"You know, Krieger, you're hardly one to make fun of embarrassing trips to the infirmary."
"What are you talking about?" Courtney asked.
"I'm talking about a certain flashlight."
Courtney went pale. "I - I told you - I fell on it."
Allie grinned. "Doc didn't believe you, either."
The women were quiet for a minute. Then, Courtney said to Mae, "I think we now know why Flint sticks around."
"You know what?" said Allie, laughing. "Fuck all of you. I'm going to start my own top secret anti-terrorist strike force. It's gonna have candy and presents, and none of you are invited."
Courtney smirked. "That'll learn us."
Turning to Allie, Mae said, "Speaking of Flint, I thought you were busy tonight."
"So did I," Allie replied. "Hawk called him away."
"Which means something's going down, I assume."
"Safe assumption," said Courtney. "We usually wind up seeing action one or two days after Hawk calls the boys to a meeting. Looks like we didn't drag you over here for nothing." She pointed a plastic bag in Mae's direction. "Something in a Cheez Doodle?"
"Thank you. I was told I needed to up my cheese dust consumption." She took a fistful of vaguely-cheese-flavored puffs from the bag and munched on them thoughtfully. "Any of you guys know if Shipwreck's gotten down yet?"
"Down from where?" asked Allie.
"You didn't see him? Snake Eyes hoisted him up a flagpole by his trousers."
"He did?" Allie asked. "Which one?"
"The really tall one out in front of the motor pool. I assumed you'd seen."
The older women all bolted into Courtney's bedroom; Mae followed close behind. Her window, it turned out, overlooked the yard that housed the pole in question. Sure enough, there was Shipwreck, by now hanging onto the pole and attempting to get out of his trousers.
"Now those are some well-made pants. He's been up there for at least four hours now," said Mae.
They watched him for a while. Shipwreck was trying to climb out of his trousers without plummeting to his doom. To make things interesting, a small green parrot had begun to circle his head, by turns berating, taunting, and offering advice the sailor didn't seem to want or need.
Mae let her attention wander from Shipwreck's plight momentarily and cast her eyes around Courtney's room. She noticed that there weren't any pictures. There were, however, a number of automotive magazines on the nightstand and computer desk. There was also a fairly old Cosmo behind the monitor, and an acoustic guitar in the far corner. She looked at the Cosmo, trying to place the woman on the cover. Then it hit her. The long blonde hair was now short and auburn, but otherwise -
"Holy shit!" Mae exclaimed. "You're THAT Courtney Krieger?"
Courtney turned around. "That was a long time ago." She took the magazine from Mae and regarded it sadly. "I didn't realize this was still in here." She put it back on the desk and smiled. "What can I say? There had to be more to life than getting my picture taken."
Mae looked at her. "Are you all right?"
"Oh, sure. I'm fine. It's just... a lot of wasted time. You know?"
"Don't let my brother hear you say that." She smiled. Jack was going to freak when she told him.
"Jesus," said Courtney, her attention back to the window. "Snake Eyes don't play." They watched for a while, until Shipwreck finally managed to swing himself over and around the pole, freeing him from his pants, allowing him to shimmy his way down. At that point, Shana opened the window and began to applaud. Quite a few other windows followed suit; presumably Ship had provided entertainment to much of the unit that evening. When he reached the bottom of the pole, he looked up, saw his audience, and, without a trace of embarrassment, tipped his hat and gave a bow before running to the men's barracks.
"What a ham." Shana closed the window again. "Looks like this show's over. Well, hopefully everyone's going to be able to keep their pants on for a while."
*****
After another couple of hours, Allie and Shana went back to their apartment. Mae was beginning to feel fatigue envelop her once again. Seeing her yawn, Courtney asked, "What time do they have you starting tomorrow?"
"Duty roster said 0700. PT for an hour, then the communications desk for the rest of the day. I guess they have your comm guy doubling as the computer dork, which is technically my area."
"You'll be with Breaker all day, then. You'll like him. Drive you up the wall with the constant gum chewing, but he's really a good guy." She started to clean up, shoving empty soda cans into a plastic bag. "All right, so I was talking to Duke this afternoon." She turned to Mae. "Shana and Duke are kinda tiptoeing around each other."
Mae said, "Yeah, Allie was telling me earlier. I kinda caught her side of it at lunch, too."
"I don't know if he doesn't realize it or if he just isn't admitting it to himself, but he's pretty hung up on her, too. There's a poker game every Saturday night a couple floors below us in Ace's apartment; he cleaned everyone out the other night."
"Was that what you guys were talking about when you showed up at the motor pool?"
"Yeah. Technically gambling isn't allowed on the base, so we have to be kinda discreet about it, and not rub Hawk's nose in it. Duke made sure I got all of what was owed to him collected so he could take it into town tomorrow. Seems he's birthday shopping."
"I take it that Shana's birthday is coming up, then?"
"You take it correctly."
"How much was it?" Mae asked.
"A little over four hundred."
Mae let out a whistle.
Courtney slumped on the couch and emptied a bagful of cheese dust into her mouth. "I honestly don't know whether to pull for this thing to happen or not. I love her like she was my sister, and Duke's always been a great friend, and I want both of them to be happy, and I think they could do that for each other. But I don't want to see either of them end up before a court martial over it, either. It's not like Dash finally pulling the stick from his ass and getting together with Allie - which is another thing that we try not to throw in Hawk's face, by the way - Duke's in a much more precarious position." She was obviously pained for her friend.
"You look exhausted, Courtney. Maybe you need to find another hobby that doesn't involve Shana."
"Yeah, but who has that kind of time?" asked Courtney, smiling. "Besides, I'm all out of Cheez Doodles and Doc threw away my flashlight."
*****
"Jesus jumping Christ." Beach Head watched as Cricket jogged to the obstacle course the following morning, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck begin to stand on end. She still had that damned bow with her.
"Hey!" he bellowed at her as she approached. "You leave your shit over by the gate! The next piece of equipment of mine you wreck comes outta your ass! You hear me?"
Cricket mumbled to herself as she dropped her gear.
"What was that, Corporal?"
"Nothing, Sergeant."
"Really? Are you sure? Because it sounded a lot like you were telling me how much you were looking forward to giving me fifty sit-ups. Did I hear you right?"
"... yes, Sergeant."
"Well, then, today's your lucky day. I'm feeling REAL generous. I'm gonna let you do a hundred. Now!" Cricket dropped and began her exercises. "And don't take too long; I don't want you falling behind!"
As she performed her sit-ups, Cricket could see about a dozen other Joes being put through the ringer. She wondered how often Beach Head changed the course around; a lot of this stuff, such as the rope ladder and zip-line, hadn't been there yesterday. And Lord knows she had gotten a pretty good look at the place.
She finished her sit-ups just in time to catch up to the last Joe about to head into the obstacle course. He turned and said, "Back for more, eh?"
She looked up at him. He might have been the largest human being she'd ever seen. "You kidding me?" she replied, panting. "Couldn't keep me away. After all, I haven't thrown up in almost eighteen hours."
"Am I gonna have to carry you?" Beach Head materialized out of nowhere, hellbent on quashing any semblance of joy, happiness or self-regard that might have crossed Cricket's path, and possibly to erase some that had ever come before. She was sure of it. "Or are the two of you gonna get your asses in gear? Christ almighty, Roadblock, what are you, new here? Go!" Roadblock turned, gave Cricket a smile, and flung himself from the dirt floor, grabbing a zip-line and taking off.
Cricket began to wonder idly what it would take to make the ski-masked ranger cry.
"Hey, wake up!" Cricket, who had gotten up to "forced to eat angry bees", was so wrapped up in this cheerful exercise that she didn't notice that the zip-line had returned. "Get your head out of your ass, Princess! I swear to God, the old man's going soft."
Cricket leapt and grabbed the zip-line, riding it to a series of suspended rings. She grabbed the first one, using her momentum to swing forward.
"If this is the best he can find, I might as well just call Cobra Commander and tell him we're going home. We'll leave the keys to the White House under the mat for him so he can pick 'em up on the way."
The high beam made a return appearance, although the lasers were now noticably absent. Cricket darted across, leaping onto a thin rope ladder that twisted around sharply as soon as her weight was put on it.
"'Cause that's pretty much what Hawk's doin' now."
Cricket lost her grip, but hooked her feet into the rungs, swinging herself around and hoisting herself to the top. When she got there, she found a bridge made out of tires thirty yards long and eight feel off the ground. Obviously, the trick was to run across without tripping or breaking your foot. She noticed that Roadblock was about halfway across.
"Of course, maybe next time he'll do better. A slot should be opening up real soon, seeing as how I'm going to grow old and die while I'm waiting for you to FINISH THIS FUCKING COURSE!!!"
Cricket stepped nimbly from one tire to the other, catching up to Roadblock. There wasn't enough room to get around him, so she crouched down, climbed under the tires, and swung across the remainder of the bridge with her hands underneath.
Roadblock saw her. "So that's how you play. We racing today?"
Cricket laughed. "I'm just trying to escape the smell of gym socks and pee."
The smell of gym socks and pee, as well as the rest of Beach Head, was waiting for Cricket and Roadblock at the end of the course. Behind him were a line of Joes who had made it through. Cricket hoisted herself up onto the platform at the end of the tire-bridge, seeing that a metallic pipe was laid at a forty-five degree angle from the platform to the ground. That ground was covered with barbed wire from the base of the platform to the point where the pipe met the ground.
She wrapped her legs around the pipe and shimmied down. Unfortunately, about one-third of the way down, the pipe was greased with WD-40. Cricket's feet slid off immediately, and it took all of her concentration not to let go with her hands when all of her weight was suddenly put on them.
Roadblock was waiting at the top of the platform. Not knowing about the oil on the pipe, he said, "C'mon, kid, slide down the pipe! Don't give Beach no cause to gripe!"
Cricket kicked her legs back and forth, causing her body to swing. When she had enough momentum, she let go and landed inches in front of the barbed wire. However, she was a little unsteady, and was about to fall backwards when Beach Head grabbed her belt and pulled her forward.
"Fall in with the others," Beach Head growled. She did. Beach Head looked at his watch theatrically. "Well, ladies, for a minute there that almost bordered on not as disgraceful as usual. However, I want to thank our new friend here for allowing us to maintain the status quo. We now have a combined score of 'totally pathetic.' Therefore," he said, wandering into the field of wire, grabbing Roadblock by the belt as he fell from the pipe and offhandedly tossing him to safety before he made contact with the razor-sharp wire, "I want you all to take special care to thank Princess while you all run through my course again after dropping and giving me fifty. NOW."
The Joes hit the dirt and began their push-ups. Beach Head watched them for a while, slowly walking up the line. When he got to Cricket, he leaned in and said, "You be sure to let me know if you ever get away from that smell, now." Then he stepped back, and announced, "Sorry, ladies. I wasn't paying attention. Start over."
Cricket, who had been on push-up number forty-three, wondered how many paper cuts it would take to send Beach Head to the infirmary.
*****
Cricket entered the control room. She noticed that Hawk, Duke and Flint were discussing something in low voices at a large table in the center of the room. Various Joes were scattered throughout the room, doing God-knows-what with machinery she'd never laid eyes on before. At the front of the room was a giant screen, with dozens of smaller screens around its perimeter. Seated in front of this setup was a young man, not much older than she was. Her suspicions were confirmed as soon as a bubble popped and left flecks of gum in his three-day-old beard.
"Breaker?" she asked.
Breaker turned around in his chair. "Hey, you. Cricket, yeah?" He had hints of a Southern accent. He blew another bubble.
"That's right. I guess you're showing me what I need to know."
"I'll do my best. Between you and me, I don't know what I can show you." Bubble. "My thing is communications, but for whatever reason they threw me on the computers too. I've been able to fake my way through most of it." Bubble. "But every now and then the Eiffel Tower gets beamed to London and you're hearing about it for a week."
"Would it save time if I just gave up and went home now?"
"Probably." Bubble. "Well, this is the main terminal. It hooks up to pretty much everything in the base. Naturally, it breaks down about once a month or so..."
*****
A couple of hours later, Breaker was walking Cricket through a transmission that came through every day at about the same time.
"Okay, see the guy on the left? That's Ranulf. We hate him."
"We do?" asked Cricket.
"Yeah. He's the one who's funneling the money into Neil's venture capitalist firm, while at the same time he's hooking up with Blair behind Mitzi's back."
"OK, lemme see if I have this. Blair is Kip's daughter who switched her baby for Monica's while Monica was in the coma. Monica thought her baby was Paul's, but it's really Neil's by way of Brittany and was implanted without her knowledge. Is that right?"
"Yep. Only, we found out that the hospital records were switched by Ferdinand while he was disguised as his twin brother Maximllian during his tenure as Chief of Cardiac Medicine."
"And meanwhile, Neil's firm is in the process of buying the corporation that owns the hospital. Do we know what he's planning on doing with it yet?"
"Not really. Not yet. But we can assume it has something to do with Ranulf and -"
"What the hell is going on over here?" Hawk roared.
Breaker and Cricket wheeled around to find Hawk staring down at them, with Duke and Flint standing close behind him.
Breaker said, "Well, General, sir, we were, um, monitoring transmissions along -"
"You were watching your stories."
"Yes, sir."
"Get back to work. Cricket?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Two things. One, you're still new. Breaker has literally been with us since Day One. The leeway I allow him does not automatically transfer down to you. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir."
Two. I need you to tell me everything you can about the Gravity Core."
"Sir?"
He motioned for her to follow him as they walked back to the table. They had since been joined by someone else Cricket didn't recognize.
"Cricket, you've had some experience with the Core before it went to Los Alamos. Can you tell us anything you know?" asked Duke.
"Not very much. We were just babysitting it before it was sent to the National Laboratory. I can't even pretend to understand exactly how it worked. Is - is something wrong?"
Flint sighed. "Cobra was able to get their hands on it after all."
"We're not 100% sure what happened yet. It looks like they had agents in the lab," said Duke. "They're not being very forthcoming with information. If there's anything you can tell us, now matter how unimportant it sounds, it'll help."
"Well, as far as I know, it functioned sort of like a battery. They thought it was some kind of power source. It's about this big -" she held her hands about three feet apart "- but it always took about four men to lift it. We always tried to stand as far away from it as possible when we were on duty; if you got close to it your arms felt like they weighed about a hundred pounds. We were basically advised to have as little to do with it as possible."
Duke looked thoughtful. "Stalker," he said, "what are your thoughts?"
The man Cricket hadn't recognized answered. "Our lives would be a hell of a lot easier if Cobra gave this back in exchange for a nuclear weapon. At least then we'd know what we were dealing with. God alone knows what Destro's gonna plug it into."
"Most of the time," Cricket said, "it seemed to give off energy. Every now and then, though, it would hum a little differently, and everything around it would get less powerful. Lights dimming, laser rifles not working, that sort of thing."
"Really?" asked Duke. "Can you think of anything else?"
Cricket racked her brain. "No. Like I said, we weren't told much of anything. I only know what I saw."
Hawk said. "Thank you, Corporal. Dismissed."
*****
Cricket found Scarlett as she walked towards the mess. "Did you hear?"
Scarlett replied, "Only what Duke's been able to tell me, which isn't much. This is the most frustrating part. We have no idea where Cobra's holed up, so until they poke their heads up, or we somehow manage to run across something, we just wait." She grimaced; her jaw clenched. It was strange; Scarlett seemed light years away from the Shana who'd scarfed half a bag of Cheez Doodles the night before.
"This is your 'game face', then?" Cricket asked.
Scarlett grinned. "It becomes second nature."
Cricket looked up; there were birds in the distance. Something was happening. She hoped she was up to it.
"Are you hungry?" Scarlett asked. "We may not get a chance to eat later."
"A little bit. I didn't have much earlier. Why don't we - hang on." She looked again. Her eyes were excellent. Those weren't birds.
"Shana? I think it's showtime."
"ATTENTION! ATTENTION ALL TROOPS!" Breaker's voice came over the loudspeakers. "WE HAVE COMPANY! RATTLERS INCOMING!"
"Oh, hey, kiddo," someone said. "Sorry, did we wake you?"
Mae's eyes slowly adjusted to the light. Courtney was sitting on one end of the couch, with Scarlett on the other end. Mae was mildly surpised to see Lady Jaye sitting in another chair. She looked at a clock; it was only 8:40.
"Don't worry about it," she said. "Last thing I need is to wake up at 0300 and then not be able to make it to the end of the day." She shuffled over to the pantry and pulled out a large glass, which she filled with water. That done, she came into the common area. "Jaye, Scarlett. Mind if I join you?"
"Not at all," said Scarlett. "It's Shana and Allie, by the way."
"Thanks." She pulled the chair out from under the computer desk and sat. "You guys sound like you're having fun. What's going on?"
"Well, in the interest of making sure our blood sugar levels stay within acceptable limits, we have put away the better part of a bag of Cheez Doodles -"
"We Joe girls are true gourmands, you see," interrupted Courtney.
"- and an awful lot of YoJoe Cola, which, I feel I must warn you, tastes a helluva lot like carbonated ass. It is, however, free. We're also attempting to get some information about some of Allie's adventures in the motor pool today," said Shana.
"Oh, my GOD," groaned Allie, putting her head in a pillow. "PLEASE let it go."
Mae laughed. It suddenly became clear where her nickname had come from; her laugh was very loud, very high pitched, and came in short, staccato bursts.
"How many did you get in there, again?" Shana asked.
Allie just rolled her eyes and stared at the ceiling.
"What do you think, was she showing off for the new kid?" Courtney asked Shana.
"I don't know. I shall now endeavor to find out. Cricket -" Shana started.
"Mae, please."
"Mae - are you the most easily impressed person on the entire planet?"
"I'd like to think not."
"Then I think we have to assume that Allie wasn't actively trying to impress you."
"You know, Krieger, you're hardly one to make fun of embarrassing trips to the infirmary."
"What are you talking about?" Courtney asked.
"I'm talking about a certain flashlight."
Courtney went pale. "I - I told you - I fell on it."
Allie grinned. "Doc didn't believe you, either."
The women were quiet for a minute. Then, Courtney said to Mae, "I think we now know why Flint sticks around."
"You know what?" said Allie, laughing. "Fuck all of you. I'm going to start my own top secret anti-terrorist strike force. It's gonna have candy and presents, and none of you are invited."
Courtney smirked. "That'll learn us."
Turning to Allie, Mae said, "Speaking of Flint, I thought you were busy tonight."
"So did I," Allie replied. "Hawk called him away."
"Which means something's going down, I assume."
"Safe assumption," said Courtney. "We usually wind up seeing action one or two days after Hawk calls the boys to a meeting. Looks like we didn't drag you over here for nothing." She pointed a plastic bag in Mae's direction. "Something in a Cheez Doodle?"
"Thank you. I was told I needed to up my cheese dust consumption." She took a fistful of vaguely-cheese-flavored puffs from the bag and munched on them thoughtfully. "Any of you guys know if Shipwreck's gotten down yet?"
"Down from where?" asked Allie.
"You didn't see him? Snake Eyes hoisted him up a flagpole by his trousers."
"He did?" Allie asked. "Which one?"
"The really tall one out in front of the motor pool. I assumed you'd seen."
The older women all bolted into Courtney's bedroom; Mae followed close behind. Her window, it turned out, overlooked the yard that housed the pole in question. Sure enough, there was Shipwreck, by now hanging onto the pole and attempting to get out of his trousers.
"Now those are some well-made pants. He's been up there for at least four hours now," said Mae.
They watched him for a while. Shipwreck was trying to climb out of his trousers without plummeting to his doom. To make things interesting, a small green parrot had begun to circle his head, by turns berating, taunting, and offering advice the sailor didn't seem to want or need.
Mae let her attention wander from Shipwreck's plight momentarily and cast her eyes around Courtney's room. She noticed that there weren't any pictures. There were, however, a number of automotive magazines on the nightstand and computer desk. There was also a fairly old Cosmo behind the monitor, and an acoustic guitar in the far corner. She looked at the Cosmo, trying to place the woman on the cover. Then it hit her. The long blonde hair was now short and auburn, but otherwise -
"Holy shit!" Mae exclaimed. "You're THAT Courtney Krieger?"
Courtney turned around. "That was a long time ago." She took the magazine from Mae and regarded it sadly. "I didn't realize this was still in here." She put it back on the desk and smiled. "What can I say? There had to be more to life than getting my picture taken."
Mae looked at her. "Are you all right?"
"Oh, sure. I'm fine. It's just... a lot of wasted time. You know?"
"Don't let my brother hear you say that." She smiled. Jack was going to freak when she told him.
"Jesus," said Courtney, her attention back to the window. "Snake Eyes don't play." They watched for a while, until Shipwreck finally managed to swing himself over and around the pole, freeing him from his pants, allowing him to shimmy his way down. At that point, Shana opened the window and began to applaud. Quite a few other windows followed suit; presumably Ship had provided entertainment to much of the unit that evening. When he reached the bottom of the pole, he looked up, saw his audience, and, without a trace of embarrassment, tipped his hat and gave a bow before running to the men's barracks.
"What a ham." Shana closed the window again. "Looks like this show's over. Well, hopefully everyone's going to be able to keep their pants on for a while."
*****
After another couple of hours, Allie and Shana went back to their apartment. Mae was beginning to feel fatigue envelop her once again. Seeing her yawn, Courtney asked, "What time do they have you starting tomorrow?"
"Duty roster said 0700. PT for an hour, then the communications desk for the rest of the day. I guess they have your comm guy doubling as the computer dork, which is technically my area."
"You'll be with Breaker all day, then. You'll like him. Drive you up the wall with the constant gum chewing, but he's really a good guy." She started to clean up, shoving empty soda cans into a plastic bag. "All right, so I was talking to Duke this afternoon." She turned to Mae. "Shana and Duke are kinda tiptoeing around each other."
Mae said, "Yeah, Allie was telling me earlier. I kinda caught her side of it at lunch, too."
"I don't know if he doesn't realize it or if he just isn't admitting it to himself, but he's pretty hung up on her, too. There's a poker game every Saturday night a couple floors below us in Ace's apartment; he cleaned everyone out the other night."
"Was that what you guys were talking about when you showed up at the motor pool?"
"Yeah. Technically gambling isn't allowed on the base, so we have to be kinda discreet about it, and not rub Hawk's nose in it. Duke made sure I got all of what was owed to him collected so he could take it into town tomorrow. Seems he's birthday shopping."
"I take it that Shana's birthday is coming up, then?"
"You take it correctly."
"How much was it?" Mae asked.
"A little over four hundred."
Mae let out a whistle.
Courtney slumped on the couch and emptied a bagful of cheese dust into her mouth. "I honestly don't know whether to pull for this thing to happen or not. I love her like she was my sister, and Duke's always been a great friend, and I want both of them to be happy, and I think they could do that for each other. But I don't want to see either of them end up before a court martial over it, either. It's not like Dash finally pulling the stick from his ass and getting together with Allie - which is another thing that we try not to throw in Hawk's face, by the way - Duke's in a much more precarious position." She was obviously pained for her friend.
"You look exhausted, Courtney. Maybe you need to find another hobby that doesn't involve Shana."
"Yeah, but who has that kind of time?" asked Courtney, smiling. "Besides, I'm all out of Cheez Doodles and Doc threw away my flashlight."
*****
"Jesus jumping Christ." Beach Head watched as Cricket jogged to the obstacle course the following morning, feeling the hairs on the back of his neck begin to stand on end. She still had that damned bow with her.
"Hey!" he bellowed at her as she approached. "You leave your shit over by the gate! The next piece of equipment of mine you wreck comes outta your ass! You hear me?"
Cricket mumbled to herself as she dropped her gear.
"What was that, Corporal?"
"Nothing, Sergeant."
"Really? Are you sure? Because it sounded a lot like you were telling me how much you were looking forward to giving me fifty sit-ups. Did I hear you right?"
"... yes, Sergeant."
"Well, then, today's your lucky day. I'm feeling REAL generous. I'm gonna let you do a hundred. Now!" Cricket dropped and began her exercises. "And don't take too long; I don't want you falling behind!"
As she performed her sit-ups, Cricket could see about a dozen other Joes being put through the ringer. She wondered how often Beach Head changed the course around; a lot of this stuff, such as the rope ladder and zip-line, hadn't been there yesterday. And Lord knows she had gotten a pretty good look at the place.
She finished her sit-ups just in time to catch up to the last Joe about to head into the obstacle course. He turned and said, "Back for more, eh?"
She looked up at him. He might have been the largest human being she'd ever seen. "You kidding me?" she replied, panting. "Couldn't keep me away. After all, I haven't thrown up in almost eighteen hours."
"Am I gonna have to carry you?" Beach Head materialized out of nowhere, hellbent on quashing any semblance of joy, happiness or self-regard that might have crossed Cricket's path, and possibly to erase some that had ever come before. She was sure of it. "Or are the two of you gonna get your asses in gear? Christ almighty, Roadblock, what are you, new here? Go!" Roadblock turned, gave Cricket a smile, and flung himself from the dirt floor, grabbing a zip-line and taking off.
Cricket began to wonder idly what it would take to make the ski-masked ranger cry.
"Hey, wake up!" Cricket, who had gotten up to "forced to eat angry bees", was so wrapped up in this cheerful exercise that she didn't notice that the zip-line had returned. "Get your head out of your ass, Princess! I swear to God, the old man's going soft."
Cricket leapt and grabbed the zip-line, riding it to a series of suspended rings. She grabbed the first one, using her momentum to swing forward.
"If this is the best he can find, I might as well just call Cobra Commander and tell him we're going home. We'll leave the keys to the White House under the mat for him so he can pick 'em up on the way."
The high beam made a return appearance, although the lasers were now noticably absent. Cricket darted across, leaping onto a thin rope ladder that twisted around sharply as soon as her weight was put on it.
"'Cause that's pretty much what Hawk's doin' now."
Cricket lost her grip, but hooked her feet into the rungs, swinging herself around and hoisting herself to the top. When she got there, she found a bridge made out of tires thirty yards long and eight feel off the ground. Obviously, the trick was to run across without tripping or breaking your foot. She noticed that Roadblock was about halfway across.
"Of course, maybe next time he'll do better. A slot should be opening up real soon, seeing as how I'm going to grow old and die while I'm waiting for you to FINISH THIS FUCKING COURSE!!!"
Cricket stepped nimbly from one tire to the other, catching up to Roadblock. There wasn't enough room to get around him, so she crouched down, climbed under the tires, and swung across the remainder of the bridge with her hands underneath.
Roadblock saw her. "So that's how you play. We racing today?"
Cricket laughed. "I'm just trying to escape the smell of gym socks and pee."
The smell of gym socks and pee, as well as the rest of Beach Head, was waiting for Cricket and Roadblock at the end of the course. Behind him were a line of Joes who had made it through. Cricket hoisted herself up onto the platform at the end of the tire-bridge, seeing that a metallic pipe was laid at a forty-five degree angle from the platform to the ground. That ground was covered with barbed wire from the base of the platform to the point where the pipe met the ground.
She wrapped her legs around the pipe and shimmied down. Unfortunately, about one-third of the way down, the pipe was greased with WD-40. Cricket's feet slid off immediately, and it took all of her concentration not to let go with her hands when all of her weight was suddenly put on them.
Roadblock was waiting at the top of the platform. Not knowing about the oil on the pipe, he said, "C'mon, kid, slide down the pipe! Don't give Beach no cause to gripe!"
Cricket kicked her legs back and forth, causing her body to swing. When she had enough momentum, she let go and landed inches in front of the barbed wire. However, she was a little unsteady, and was about to fall backwards when Beach Head grabbed her belt and pulled her forward.
"Fall in with the others," Beach Head growled. She did. Beach Head looked at his watch theatrically. "Well, ladies, for a minute there that almost bordered on not as disgraceful as usual. However, I want to thank our new friend here for allowing us to maintain the status quo. We now have a combined score of 'totally pathetic.' Therefore," he said, wandering into the field of wire, grabbing Roadblock by the belt as he fell from the pipe and offhandedly tossing him to safety before he made contact with the razor-sharp wire, "I want you all to take special care to thank Princess while you all run through my course again after dropping and giving me fifty. NOW."
The Joes hit the dirt and began their push-ups. Beach Head watched them for a while, slowly walking up the line. When he got to Cricket, he leaned in and said, "You be sure to let me know if you ever get away from that smell, now." Then he stepped back, and announced, "Sorry, ladies. I wasn't paying attention. Start over."
Cricket, who had been on push-up number forty-three, wondered how many paper cuts it would take to send Beach Head to the infirmary.
*****
Cricket entered the control room. She noticed that Hawk, Duke and Flint were discussing something in low voices at a large table in the center of the room. Various Joes were scattered throughout the room, doing God-knows-what with machinery she'd never laid eyes on before. At the front of the room was a giant screen, with dozens of smaller screens around its perimeter. Seated in front of this setup was a young man, not much older than she was. Her suspicions were confirmed as soon as a bubble popped and left flecks of gum in his three-day-old beard.
"Breaker?" she asked.
Breaker turned around in his chair. "Hey, you. Cricket, yeah?" He had hints of a Southern accent. He blew another bubble.
"That's right. I guess you're showing me what I need to know."
"I'll do my best. Between you and me, I don't know what I can show you." Bubble. "My thing is communications, but for whatever reason they threw me on the computers too. I've been able to fake my way through most of it." Bubble. "But every now and then the Eiffel Tower gets beamed to London and you're hearing about it for a week."
"Would it save time if I just gave up and went home now?"
"Probably." Bubble. "Well, this is the main terminal. It hooks up to pretty much everything in the base. Naturally, it breaks down about once a month or so..."
*****
A couple of hours later, Breaker was walking Cricket through a transmission that came through every day at about the same time.
"Okay, see the guy on the left? That's Ranulf. We hate him."
"We do?" asked Cricket.
"Yeah. He's the one who's funneling the money into Neil's venture capitalist firm, while at the same time he's hooking up with Blair behind Mitzi's back."
"OK, lemme see if I have this. Blair is Kip's daughter who switched her baby for Monica's while Monica was in the coma. Monica thought her baby was Paul's, but it's really Neil's by way of Brittany and was implanted without her knowledge. Is that right?"
"Yep. Only, we found out that the hospital records were switched by Ferdinand while he was disguised as his twin brother Maximllian during his tenure as Chief of Cardiac Medicine."
"And meanwhile, Neil's firm is in the process of buying the corporation that owns the hospital. Do we know what he's planning on doing with it yet?"
"Not really. Not yet. But we can assume it has something to do with Ranulf and -"
"What the hell is going on over here?" Hawk roared.
Breaker and Cricket wheeled around to find Hawk staring down at them, with Duke and Flint standing close behind him.
Breaker said, "Well, General, sir, we were, um, monitoring transmissions along -"
"You were watching your stories."
"Yes, sir."
"Get back to work. Cricket?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Two things. One, you're still new. Breaker has literally been with us since Day One. The leeway I allow him does not automatically transfer down to you. Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir."
Two. I need you to tell me everything you can about the Gravity Core."
"Sir?"
He motioned for her to follow him as they walked back to the table. They had since been joined by someone else Cricket didn't recognize.
"Cricket, you've had some experience with the Core before it went to Los Alamos. Can you tell us anything you know?" asked Duke.
"Not very much. We were just babysitting it before it was sent to the National Laboratory. I can't even pretend to understand exactly how it worked. Is - is something wrong?"
Flint sighed. "Cobra was able to get their hands on it after all."
"We're not 100% sure what happened yet. It looks like they had agents in the lab," said Duke. "They're not being very forthcoming with information. If there's anything you can tell us, now matter how unimportant it sounds, it'll help."
"Well, as far as I know, it functioned sort of like a battery. They thought it was some kind of power source. It's about this big -" she held her hands about three feet apart "- but it always took about four men to lift it. We always tried to stand as far away from it as possible when we were on duty; if you got close to it your arms felt like they weighed about a hundred pounds. We were basically advised to have as little to do with it as possible."
Duke looked thoughtful. "Stalker," he said, "what are your thoughts?"
The man Cricket hadn't recognized answered. "Our lives would be a hell of a lot easier if Cobra gave this back in exchange for a nuclear weapon. At least then we'd know what we were dealing with. God alone knows what Destro's gonna plug it into."
"Most of the time," Cricket said, "it seemed to give off energy. Every now and then, though, it would hum a little differently, and everything around it would get less powerful. Lights dimming, laser rifles not working, that sort of thing."
"Really?" asked Duke. "Can you think of anything else?"
Cricket racked her brain. "No. Like I said, we weren't told much of anything. I only know what I saw."
Hawk said. "Thank you, Corporal. Dismissed."
*****
Cricket found Scarlett as she walked towards the mess. "Did you hear?"
Scarlett replied, "Only what Duke's been able to tell me, which isn't much. This is the most frustrating part. We have no idea where Cobra's holed up, so until they poke their heads up, or we somehow manage to run across something, we just wait." She grimaced; her jaw clenched. It was strange; Scarlett seemed light years away from the Shana who'd scarfed half a bag of Cheez Doodles the night before.
"This is your 'game face', then?" Cricket asked.
Scarlett grinned. "It becomes second nature."
Cricket looked up; there were birds in the distance. Something was happening. She hoped she was up to it.
"Are you hungry?" Scarlett asked. "We may not get a chance to eat later."
"A little bit. I didn't have much earlier. Why don't we - hang on." She looked again. Her eyes were excellent. Those weren't birds.
"Shana? I think it's showtime."
"ATTENTION! ATTENTION ALL TROOPS!" Breaker's voice came over the loudspeakers. "WE HAVE COMPANY! RATTLERS INCOMING!"