Chapter Five: La Muerta Revisited.
Disclaimer: I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean, any of its characters or situations, and no offense of infringement is intended. I also do not own any movies, books, songs, people, etc. I may reference in this work. I only own my original characters. So don't sue me. And unfortunately Peter's not doing the disclaimer today, as he is on loan to the Norrington Defense League. Which I also do not own.
And before I start this party, I have a public service announcement: What the hell is up with Suedom these days? There's all these goddamn 'choose your own adventure' fics going around! Like: "This is NOT a Mary-sue! YOU get magically transported to the Caribbean and YOU go on an adventure aboard the Black Pearl and Jack Sparrow and Orli fall in love with YOU! Plz r/r NO FLAMES!!! Jonny depp is so HOTT!"
What the fuck is this shit? It's just…crap! Like people are trying to avoid having their characters called Mary-Sues by pretending it's the 'audience' experiencing the plot. That's such crap! I mean, on some level the Suedom authors have developed another method for evading flames and 'justifying' their Mary-Sues, but really, it's like they're dispensed with all pretense and are saying: "Hey! I'm going to write some fanservice! You can all join in as I make myself feel better!" fucking plebes. *growls* they're ruining the fandom for us normal people who enjoy writing to develop character! GAH! Make it STOP!!! …anyway. I've spoken my mind. And if you're one of those "You" fic authors: flame me, I don't bloody care.
Previously on Buffy the-Wait. No. Previously on AFTHOTWTB:
Conversations were awkward, Bootstrap was a lech, Norrington was a doctor, Thom was not an Amazon but she was rather crass, Calidori was afraid of medical treatment, Marius was about to be castrated, Gillette was angsty and his first name was Alexandre, Pearce was attempting to acquire Laser Death Vision™, Calidori was disturbingly patriotic, and then Jack Sparrow was revealed to be the captain of the Black Pearl, and Calidori was subsequently pissed as all hell and on a bloodthirsty rampage.
*******
The wind had died down for the moment, as if the island was welcoming them. Jack smiled, and examined the torn scrap of parchment he held in his hand. Funny how Isla de Muerta didn't seem so imposing now. The gods, it seemed, were quite content to allow their cursed island to be used at the Pearl's long-term storage facility. Jack liked to think that he and the heathen gods had a good professional relationship. Yes, the island was a place to bury secrets; that Calidori woman would never find the map, and Jack had plenty of time to find the other half.
"Beggin yer pardon, Cap'n," grumbled Gibbs in his usual wary tone. "But it's frightful bad luck to be makin' berth on such an island. Cursed, it is!" Jack flashed him a gold-toothed grin.
"Don't think on it a minute, Mr. Gibbs. After all, it's not Aztec gold we're after."
"But th' heathen gods-"
"Ah, quit your whining, you old dog!" Anamaria screeched, appearing suddenly behind him. Gibbs winced in pain and staggered away to regain hearing. "Why are we coming here, Jack?" she asked more softly.
"Because it's the perfect hiding spot, beauty," Jack replied, looking at the approaching island. "No one can find it except those as have been here, and know where it is."
"What about those two brats, then? They've been here, could they find it?" Anamaria raised an eyebrow.
"Well love, I'm afraid to say that our young Will probably couldn't navigate his way out of a paper bag. Him and Liz are good kids though, they'd never sell out ol' Jack." He smiled again, secure in the knowledge of his secrecy.
Meanwhile…
"Isla de Muerta." Elizabeth said frostily. "If Jack wanted to hide anything, he'd hide it there. Frightful place." She glared at Calidori, who was holding Will at gunpoint to facilitate discussion. "No one can find it except people who've been there before."
"Lovely!" Calidori exclaimed. "You'll do us the honour of telling us, then."
"I can't find it," said Elizabeth, exasperated. "Barbossa's crew had me blindfolded!"
"And what about you, boy?" asked Calidori. "Care to show us to the island?"
"I'll never tell you!" Will spat, looking overall quite noble and put-upon. Calidori shrugged, and snapped her fingers. In an instant Smike had her pistol at Elizabeth's head.
"What about now, eh amigo?"
"Captain Calidori, I really must object to your treatment of Miss Swann!" said Norrington angrily. "This is no way to treat a lady of her standing."
"Thank you for your defense, James," Elizabeth said absently. "But I don't think you're helping matters."
"Hey! Since when are you two on a first-name basis?!" Will yelled. Calidori rolled her eyes.
"Well we were engaged at one point, Will. You remember that, don't you?" Elizabeth was in danger of freezing the entire cabin, so chilly was her attitude.
"As much as I love a good domestic squabble, my friends, I need to know how to get to Isla de Muerta, and I need to know it now!" Calidori was looking quite irate and dangerous. She glared around the room.
"So is it true Jack Sparrow can charm women out of their clothing?" Smike asked Elizabeth conspiratorially.
"Hardly," Elizabeth glowered.
*******
Jack Sparrow wasn't currently charming anyone out of anything, as the crew had arrived in the storage cave of Isla de Muerta and was greeted by the horrible stench of rotting flesh. Not merely unclean flesh, or undead rotting flesh, but your everyday dead, maggot-covered decaying human corpse. And also one strategically placed rotting apple. So while the crew members not important enough to have dialogue disposed of the body (which was difficult without any pigs around), Jack took the opportunity to exposition some more.
"Gibbs, my good man," said Jack, sitting down upon a pile of treasure. "How exactly does a man who's deathly afraid of pirates end up becoming one?"
"If you're tryin' to distract yourself from that stench, Cap'n, I'm afraid my storytelling won't help any." Gibbs muttered with a handkerchief over his face. At this point the dwarf stumbled over pile of trinkets and dropped his end of the body. An unidentifiable limb dropped off into the water with a sickening –SHUNK-. Anamaria, who was overseeing the proceedings, proceeded to turn away and empty her gut upon one of the piles of booty.
"Not on the gold, love!" Jack yelled, cringing. "Brings a tear to me eye, it does. Gibbs! On with the story."
"Well…." Gibbs obviously did not want to tell this tale, but the look in Jack's kohl-lined eyes was adamant. "Well really it started when I was still on me tour aboard the Dauntless, oh about...eight year ago? Yeah, that was it. "
"Really, Gibbs?"
"Of course!" he shuddered. "A man got no reason to invent a tale like this. Ungodly it were, what I saw."
"What was it?!" shrieked Anamaria, who had taken a well-needed break from the disposal crew.
"Well," Said Gibbs, steeling himself. "There was this one day I walked into the Lievtenant's office, so as to give him the damage report from that merchant ship we'd found, and-oh, it's too horrible Jack, I can't say!"
"Of course you can, you sea slug!" Anamaria's shrieks conveyed her intense interest in the tale. Or else maybe she was just pissed off. "What did you see?"
"It was the Lievtenant…and-and one of the midshipmen….scarred me for life, it did!" and Gibbs broke down into sobs.
"Wait, which Lievtenant?" Jack asked, interested.
"Well Norrington, Cap'n. But I don't see how it matters."
"Who was he with? Gillette?"
"I don't want to talk about it!!"
********
"Well Mr. Turner, I'm afraid we've a bit of a dilemma." Calidori smiled sadly.
"What is it, love?" Bootstrap asked. He could never stand seeing a lady look sad. Calidori passed him a mug of grog, and sighed.
"You see, I'm trying to find someone, who I believe is an acquaintance of yours. Name of Jack Sparrow."
Bootstrap's eyes went wide and he spat the mouthful of grog across the room. It hit Mr. Pontmercy in the face, causing the pudgy man to burst into tears and run out, wailing like a little girl.
"Did you say Jack Sparrow?" Bootstrap asked, tears in his eyes. His voice was quavering the quaver of tragic lost love that maybe isn't so lost after all. You know, like they have on those movies on Lifetime, when the mom gets her kid back from the terrorists or the pets come home after journeying across the country even though the one dog was all old and stuff? Yeah. Like that. "Jack's alive?!"
"Well yes, Mr. Turner. According to your son's…charming…fiancée Mr. Sparrow would most likely be in the vicinity of Isla de Muerta, and I should like your help in finding that locale."
"Of course! Let's GO!" Bootstrap Bill Turner, fearsome pirate, skipped out the door and made his joyful way towards the helm. Calidori followed him out; she stopped in the doorway and turned towards a shadowed corner of the office.
"Amiga, if you're going to have your sordid way with the Commodore, please do so when you're off duty."
"Sorry Captain," Smike replied.
********
Later that Evening:
Gillette was completely absorbed in inspecting the Alecto. So much so that certain parties were beginning to suspect that the captain was overworking himself in an attempt to cope with the loss of his superior officer. One such certain party was on board the new brig now, wandering aimlessly about the deck. He inhaled deeply, relishing the smell of fresh paint in the sea air. There was nothing quite like the feel of a new ship; it felt like the promise of glory.
Only now there was no chance of glory for him. This was to be Gillette's glory and vengeance, and now Lievtenant Pearce was struck by the feeling that the voyage on the Alecto would lead them all straight to Hell. Not being the type to ignore such feelings, Pearce made his way to the captain's office where he suspected Gillette would be. Hopefully not crying, he thought with a bitter smile.
The door opened soundlessly and he was met with the sharp smell of lacquer. Gillette didn't seem to mind, as he was busily setting the office in order. He looked incredibly pale and there were dark circles under his eyes. Pearce was astonished by how thin he looked.
"Alexandre, you're not well," he said quietly. Gillette slammed a paperweight down on the desk, but did not look at him.
"Don't call me that, Pearce," said Gillette in a very tired voice. "Please."
"Stop avoiding the issue, sir. You're going to become ill if you keep going on like this."
"Going on like what?!" Gillette looked at him now; there were spots of anger on his stricken face and despair in his voice. Pearce stepped closer to his captain and looked him square in the eye.
"Alex, you're overworking yourself with this-this silly quest for revenge, and none of it is going to bring him back!"
Gillette stared at him and could not make a reply for several moments. When he did, his words were broken.
"Don't…don't say things like that."
"I miss him too, you know,"
"Stop it." But Pearce continued.
"He meant a lot to me as well! He wouldn't have wanted us to be unhappy! Especially you!"
Gillette was trembling now and made no answer. He was steadied by Pearce's hand on his shoulder.
"James was a good man, and he would have wanted us to move on."
"But it's my f-fault!" Gillette burst into tears and was not particularly surprised when Pearce put his arms around him.
"No it's not," the Lievtenant said gently. "It's not anyone's fault."
********
At that exact moment some sort of psychic bond alerted Norrington to the fact that his SnuggleBunny was engaging in unfaithful activity. His face went utterly white and he screamed to the heavens in rage.
"DAMN YOU, PEARCE!!" It was overall a very dramatic effect until Smike McMerlyn, the White Dragon of Sussex whipped him back into submission.
…Anyway. That was a tad too disturbing. And some three days later on the lovely and macabre Isla de Muerta, Jack Sparrow was rudely awakened by a pistol in his face.
"My map, Señor Sparrow. NOW."
****************************************
Yay for cliffhanger endings! WOOO!!! Mucho thanks to everyone who's reviewed, I love you guys! And I put in more Jack, just for you! ..because if I was a less scrupulous individual this fic would be all about Norrington and slashy Naval affairs and nothing would ever get done. I have Calidori to than for keeping me somewhat on track.
Also: I've done character art for this fic, yaay! It can be found on my Deviant gallery, here:
http : // avalonauggie. deviantart .com / gallery / …just take out my random spaces and you're all set. ^_^.