Author's Note: Alright, guys, this is my first Inu Yasha fic (that I'm posting). I spellchecked this, and throughought the 18-1900 words, I only had three spelling errors, so I'm proud. If you guys like it, I'll probably continue it. I don't know when I can update, if I do choose to continue this, but I will whenever I can.
Disclaimer: I own neither Inu Yasha the character, or the anime, just as I do not own If You're Gone. That song is property of Matchbox 20, who, in my opinion, is a pretty awesome group, and I'm glad they allow the use of their material.
On with t3h |_337 |\|3\/\/ 570r'/!
bIf You're Gone/b
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
They had finally done it. After months, nay, years of toil, they had defeated Naraku, and gathered all the shards of the Shikon no Tama. It was complete, at long last. There was now only the matter of deciding on a single, pure wish, with which to erase the cursed jewel from existence.
"Who should get the wish?" Kagome asked timidly, as they sat around a campfire, pondering the destiny of the little pink jewel.
"I truly have no desire for the fruits of this jewel. There is nothing that I could want that is not already at the tips of my hands," Miroku said steadily. Sango glared at him when she realized the meaning of the innuendo, then blushed.
"Truly, I would enjoy gaining my little brother, but Kohaku's soul has already been laid to rest... it wouldn't be right," Sango said with a hidden strength, as she repressed the urge to weep at her late brother's departure.
"Same thing goes for me," said Shippou, crossing his arms, and puffing up his chest, while he tried to look big and strong for the group. "I loved Mom and Dad, but I've got a new family." The circle now passed to Kagome.
"I... uh, well..." Kagome struggled for something to say. She knew what she wanted very clearly; she wanted Inu Yasha to love her, like she loved him, but even more importantly, she wanted him to be happy. She would much rather see him have the wish. "Well, I supposed I've got a back up wish, if nothing else..." she sighed. "I'd really rather not say, though." She'd just wish for his happiness, and then get out of there, and back to her own time. Then he could do whatever he wanted with Kikyou; go to Hell, stay on Earth, it didn't matter, as long as he was happy. Everyone now looked at Inu Yasha.
biI think I've already lost you/b/i
"Keh! Like wishing to be a full youkai is real pure." He didn't really want that wish anymore, any way, but he had a reputation to maintain. Taking a moment of reflection, he chuckled sadistically to himself when he realized that the driving force behind that wish was a deep seated need for acceptance... the same acceptance he had found with Kagome, just being himself. Not human, not youkai, not even hanyou. Inu Yasha. But he had a debt to pay to Kikyou, and his soul would not get the remedy that it truly needed for his pained heart.
biI think you're already gone/b/i
"I guess it's my wish, then... you guys don't need to worry about it, it's pure alright, it's just... really personal. Please trust me." Nobody gave a single hint at doubting her intentions. "Thank you," she whispered so silently, only Inu Yasha heard it, and only then because of all the experience he'd had.
biI think I'm finally scared now/b/i
Kagome stood up, the jewel in hand, not entirely sure what to do. She held it out in front of her, and it began to glow softly. Focusing, she poured all of her concentration into the single wish: iPlease, I wish for Inu Yasha to live a happy life. Please, please, please, just let him be happy,/i she thought to herself and the jewel. For a moment, she thought she was pleading more than she was wishing.
The jewel flashed a bright pink, and disappeared. Kagome sighed, grateful that her wish had been granted, and that nobody knew about it. It would be so embarrassing, and Inu Yasha would probably have gotten mad at her.
"C'mon, everyone, let's go to sleep," Kagome said, suddenly exhausted.
It was noon the next day. They had made it back to the Bone Eater's well, and Kagome was intending on leaving, for good. She didn't really want to leave Shippou or her friends behind, but she knew that any other choice would have literally killed her, seeing with her own eyes that Inu Yasha had gone to Hell.
biYou think I'm weak/b/i
"What do you mean, you're going back?!" Inu Yasha shouted at her, when she was marching towards the well, having voiced her intentions.
biBut I think you're wrong/b/i
"Inu Yasha, I'm going back to my time, and that's final."
biI think you're already leaving/b/i
"Shut up, bitch, you can't go back. We have jewel shards to go-" his eyes suddenly dropped to the ground, and his head sunk. His excuse for his almost obsessively possessive need to keep her around had finally played itself out. He looked up at her testingly.
iPlease... Kagome... you aren't... aren't leaving me... are you?/i
biFeels like your hand is on the door/b/i
"Inu Yasha..." Kagome whispered, her resolve crumbling, as she scrambled to hold onto it. "I have to go, Inu Yasha. I can't come back."
He felt his heart shatter at those words. She was leaving him. And she wasn't going to come back. He wasn't even sure if she COULD come back after this, without the jewel, and he didn't know if he could follow her. He had to do something quick, but what could he do? He still owed Kikyou.
biI thought this place was an empire/b/i
biBut now I'm relaxed/b/i
biI can't be sure/b/i
"Inu Yasha... goodbye." She fell backwards before he could reply, as her own heart was ripped out. She knew she would probably regret it, but... at least he could still be happy.
biI think you're so mean/b/i
"Kagome..." he whispered.
biI think we should try/b/i
"Kagome..." he said louder, his eyes blank, as he tried to wrap his mind around it.
biI think I could need/b/i
"KAGOME!!!" he finally screamed, lifting his arms upward in anguish.
bithis in my life/b/i
"Kagome... without you... Kagome," he choked on a sob as he collapsed, and slammed his arms into the ground, "Kagome, I need you... how can I ever be whole... how can I ever be happy without you...?" he struggled to say to himself, his throat tightening painfully in choked sobs, as he struggled to restrain the tears he swore he would never shed again after his mother.
bvI think I'm just scared/b/i
"Kagome... I think," he said with a choke, "I think... I... I love you." He collapsed to the ground.
biI think too much/b/i
biI know this is wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing with/b/i
*~*~*~*~*
"How's he doing?"
"Not good, Sango." It had been only a week since Kagome had left, but Inu Yasha was haggard, and worn, as if he'd spent months on nothing but water.
biIf you're gone/b/i
"I never thought he'd react this badly. He never showed the way he felt about her."
bimaybe it's time to go home/b/i
"I fear that may be part of the reason he's feeling so horrible. He even tried heading to Kagome-sama's time, but the well has not reacted to him."
biThere's an awful lot of breathing room/b/i
"How do you think he'll react to Kikyou? She's going to be coming soon."
biBut I can hardly move/b/i
"I'm not sure. It almost seems like Hell would be a more comforting place to him right now than 500 years before Kagome."
biIf you're gone/b/i
"What about Shippou?"
biBaby you need to come home/b/i
"He's not doing any better. Not that I can blame him. This is the second mother he's lost. I doubt he'll have much more of a childhood."
biCuz there's a little bit of something me/b/i
"Kagome... I never even got to tell you how I felt. Dammit! Why do I have to love you so much, Kagome?" Inu Yasha whispered to himself, as he leaned against the Goshinboku in self-induced torture.
biin everything in you/b/i
*~*~*~*~*
Kagome was still in her room. Her hair was disheveled with grease and lack of care; she had not showered since her arrival in the present. No, she had not even combed out the tangles or the grease.
biI bet you're hard to get over/b/i
As of late, her eyes seemed to be an eternal swollen red. She'd spent many hours wailing into her pillow that week.
biI bet the room just won't shine/b/i
Her mother came up every morning and evening with a tray of food, and some water, but when she came back next, the only thing that had been touched was the water. Kagome was barely surviving, as she starved herself because of her emotional pain.
biI bet my hands I can stay here/b/i
She went down to the well, again, as she had every day since she came back.
biI bet you need more than you mind/b/i
"DAMMIT! I DON'T CARE IF HE'S HAPPY ANYMORE! I WANT TO GO BACK! LET- ME- IN!!!" she screamed in pain and frustration as she clawed at the dirt in the bottom of the well, before she collapsed from emotional trauma and physical exhaustion.
She jumped when a soft, caring hand was placed on her shoulder, and she looked up pleadingly at her mother. She wrapped her arms around her baby girl, and hushed her.
"Shhh. It'll be okay, Kagome, something will turn out. C'mon, we need to get you inside," her mother said softly.
"Mama, it hurts so much! I just wanted him to be happy, but Kami, it hurts," she sobbed onto her mother's shoulder. Wordlessly, she took her daughter up the well, and into the house.
"Go to sleep, Kagome, you need it."
*~*~*~*~*
biI think you're so mean/b/i
His mind vaguely registered the scent of earth, graves, and herbs, but he was far too caught up in his own thoughts to register it. He did not even notice when she stood before him, but was abruptly shaken from his thoughts when Kikyou spoke to him aloud.
"Inu Yasha." He looked up at her tiredly. He had barely stirred from his spot next to the Goshinboku.
"What do you want, Kikyou?" he asked, his voice gruff from disuse.
"I have come to collect on your debt to me, Inu Yasha."
biI think we should try/b/i
iSo this is it. My life ends, and I spend the rest of my existence with Kikyou in hell. Hell, maybe after long enough, I can forget it./i
biI think I could need this in my life/b/i
"Alright, Kikyou. I'm ready." He stood up, and walked to her. She looked up at him, and he cringed. They looked the same, but Kagome's spark was lacking in Kikyou's cold, hateful eyes. But, he still loved what she had once been, and he owed her this. She clutched him to her possessively, and he wrapped his own arms around her.
biI think I'm just scared that I know too much/b/i
A pink light erupted from beneath the couple's feet. The sound of rushing wind filled the hanyou's ears
biI can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling/b/i
He began to sink into the ground, holding Kikyou to him.
biIf you're gone/b/i
As he descended downward so very slowly, his thoughts revolved around only one thing.
biMaybe it's time to come home/b/i
He couldn't bring himself to forget her, to focus on what was now his future.
biThere's an awful lot of breathing room/b/i
He couldn't even bring himself to blame her. He, who was never at fault.
biBut I can hardly move/b/i
He couldn't blame her for his pain, and that made it hurt all the more intensely.
biIf you're gone/b/i
He hoped she was happy.
biBaby you need to come home/b/i
He knew that, without her, he could not be.
biCuz there's a little bit of something me/b/i
There was only one word that went through his mind at that moment.
biIn everything in you./b/i
iKagome.../i
biI think you're so mean - I think we should try/b/i
biI think I could need - this in my life/b/i
biI think I'm just scared - do I talk too much/b/i
biI know it's wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing with/b/i
Author's Note: Well, there it is. Also, if someone could kindly tell me why bthis is not in bold/b, I'd be really appreciative.
Disclaimer: I own neither Inu Yasha the character, or the anime, just as I do not own If You're Gone. That song is property of Matchbox 20, who, in my opinion, is a pretty awesome group, and I'm glad they allow the use of their material.
On with t3h |_337 |\|3\/\/ 570r'/!
bIf You're Gone/b
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
They had finally done it. After months, nay, years of toil, they had defeated Naraku, and gathered all the shards of the Shikon no Tama. It was complete, at long last. There was now only the matter of deciding on a single, pure wish, with which to erase the cursed jewel from existence.
"Who should get the wish?" Kagome asked timidly, as they sat around a campfire, pondering the destiny of the little pink jewel.
"I truly have no desire for the fruits of this jewel. There is nothing that I could want that is not already at the tips of my hands," Miroku said steadily. Sango glared at him when she realized the meaning of the innuendo, then blushed.
"Truly, I would enjoy gaining my little brother, but Kohaku's soul has already been laid to rest... it wouldn't be right," Sango said with a hidden strength, as she repressed the urge to weep at her late brother's departure.
"Same thing goes for me," said Shippou, crossing his arms, and puffing up his chest, while he tried to look big and strong for the group. "I loved Mom and Dad, but I've got a new family." The circle now passed to Kagome.
"I... uh, well..." Kagome struggled for something to say. She knew what she wanted very clearly; she wanted Inu Yasha to love her, like she loved him, but even more importantly, she wanted him to be happy. She would much rather see him have the wish. "Well, I supposed I've got a back up wish, if nothing else..." she sighed. "I'd really rather not say, though." She'd just wish for his happiness, and then get out of there, and back to her own time. Then he could do whatever he wanted with Kikyou; go to Hell, stay on Earth, it didn't matter, as long as he was happy. Everyone now looked at Inu Yasha.
biI think I've already lost you/b/i
"Keh! Like wishing to be a full youkai is real pure." He didn't really want that wish anymore, any way, but he had a reputation to maintain. Taking a moment of reflection, he chuckled sadistically to himself when he realized that the driving force behind that wish was a deep seated need for acceptance... the same acceptance he had found with Kagome, just being himself. Not human, not youkai, not even hanyou. Inu Yasha. But he had a debt to pay to Kikyou, and his soul would not get the remedy that it truly needed for his pained heart.
biI think you're already gone/b/i
"I guess it's my wish, then... you guys don't need to worry about it, it's pure alright, it's just... really personal. Please trust me." Nobody gave a single hint at doubting her intentions. "Thank you," she whispered so silently, only Inu Yasha heard it, and only then because of all the experience he'd had.
biI think I'm finally scared now/b/i
Kagome stood up, the jewel in hand, not entirely sure what to do. She held it out in front of her, and it began to glow softly. Focusing, she poured all of her concentration into the single wish: iPlease, I wish for Inu Yasha to live a happy life. Please, please, please, just let him be happy,/i she thought to herself and the jewel. For a moment, she thought she was pleading more than she was wishing.
The jewel flashed a bright pink, and disappeared. Kagome sighed, grateful that her wish had been granted, and that nobody knew about it. It would be so embarrassing, and Inu Yasha would probably have gotten mad at her.
"C'mon, everyone, let's go to sleep," Kagome said, suddenly exhausted.
It was noon the next day. They had made it back to the Bone Eater's well, and Kagome was intending on leaving, for good. She didn't really want to leave Shippou or her friends behind, but she knew that any other choice would have literally killed her, seeing with her own eyes that Inu Yasha had gone to Hell.
biYou think I'm weak/b/i
"What do you mean, you're going back?!" Inu Yasha shouted at her, when she was marching towards the well, having voiced her intentions.
biBut I think you're wrong/b/i
"Inu Yasha, I'm going back to my time, and that's final."
biI think you're already leaving/b/i
"Shut up, bitch, you can't go back. We have jewel shards to go-" his eyes suddenly dropped to the ground, and his head sunk. His excuse for his almost obsessively possessive need to keep her around had finally played itself out. He looked up at her testingly.
iPlease... Kagome... you aren't... aren't leaving me... are you?/i
biFeels like your hand is on the door/b/i
"Inu Yasha..." Kagome whispered, her resolve crumbling, as she scrambled to hold onto it. "I have to go, Inu Yasha. I can't come back."
He felt his heart shatter at those words. She was leaving him. And she wasn't going to come back. He wasn't even sure if she COULD come back after this, without the jewel, and he didn't know if he could follow her. He had to do something quick, but what could he do? He still owed Kikyou.
biI thought this place was an empire/b/i
biBut now I'm relaxed/b/i
biI can't be sure/b/i
"Inu Yasha... goodbye." She fell backwards before he could reply, as her own heart was ripped out. She knew she would probably regret it, but... at least he could still be happy.
biI think you're so mean/b/i
"Kagome..." he whispered.
biI think we should try/b/i
"Kagome..." he said louder, his eyes blank, as he tried to wrap his mind around it.
biI think I could need/b/i
"KAGOME!!!" he finally screamed, lifting his arms upward in anguish.
bithis in my life/b/i
"Kagome... without you... Kagome," he choked on a sob as he collapsed, and slammed his arms into the ground, "Kagome, I need you... how can I ever be whole... how can I ever be happy without you...?" he struggled to say to himself, his throat tightening painfully in choked sobs, as he struggled to restrain the tears he swore he would never shed again after his mother.
bvI think I'm just scared/b/i
"Kagome... I think," he said with a choke, "I think... I... I love you." He collapsed to the ground.
biI think too much/b/i
biI know this is wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing with/b/i
*~*~*~*~*
"How's he doing?"
"Not good, Sango." It had been only a week since Kagome had left, but Inu Yasha was haggard, and worn, as if he'd spent months on nothing but water.
biIf you're gone/b/i
"I never thought he'd react this badly. He never showed the way he felt about her."
bimaybe it's time to go home/b/i
"I fear that may be part of the reason he's feeling so horrible. He even tried heading to Kagome-sama's time, but the well has not reacted to him."
biThere's an awful lot of breathing room/b/i
"How do you think he'll react to Kikyou? She's going to be coming soon."
biBut I can hardly move/b/i
"I'm not sure. It almost seems like Hell would be a more comforting place to him right now than 500 years before Kagome."
biIf you're gone/b/i
"What about Shippou?"
biBaby you need to come home/b/i
"He's not doing any better. Not that I can blame him. This is the second mother he's lost. I doubt he'll have much more of a childhood."
biCuz there's a little bit of something me/b/i
"Kagome... I never even got to tell you how I felt. Dammit! Why do I have to love you so much, Kagome?" Inu Yasha whispered to himself, as he leaned against the Goshinboku in self-induced torture.
biin everything in you/b/i
*~*~*~*~*
Kagome was still in her room. Her hair was disheveled with grease and lack of care; she had not showered since her arrival in the present. No, she had not even combed out the tangles or the grease.
biI bet you're hard to get over/b/i
As of late, her eyes seemed to be an eternal swollen red. She'd spent many hours wailing into her pillow that week.
biI bet the room just won't shine/b/i
Her mother came up every morning and evening with a tray of food, and some water, but when she came back next, the only thing that had been touched was the water. Kagome was barely surviving, as she starved herself because of her emotional pain.
biI bet my hands I can stay here/b/i
She went down to the well, again, as she had every day since she came back.
biI bet you need more than you mind/b/i
"DAMMIT! I DON'T CARE IF HE'S HAPPY ANYMORE! I WANT TO GO BACK! LET- ME- IN!!!" she screamed in pain and frustration as she clawed at the dirt in the bottom of the well, before she collapsed from emotional trauma and physical exhaustion.
She jumped when a soft, caring hand was placed on her shoulder, and she looked up pleadingly at her mother. She wrapped her arms around her baby girl, and hushed her.
"Shhh. It'll be okay, Kagome, something will turn out. C'mon, we need to get you inside," her mother said softly.
"Mama, it hurts so much! I just wanted him to be happy, but Kami, it hurts," she sobbed onto her mother's shoulder. Wordlessly, she took her daughter up the well, and into the house.
"Go to sleep, Kagome, you need it."
*~*~*~*~*
biI think you're so mean/b/i
His mind vaguely registered the scent of earth, graves, and herbs, but he was far too caught up in his own thoughts to register it. He did not even notice when she stood before him, but was abruptly shaken from his thoughts when Kikyou spoke to him aloud.
"Inu Yasha." He looked up at her tiredly. He had barely stirred from his spot next to the Goshinboku.
"What do you want, Kikyou?" he asked, his voice gruff from disuse.
"I have come to collect on your debt to me, Inu Yasha."
biI think we should try/b/i
iSo this is it. My life ends, and I spend the rest of my existence with Kikyou in hell. Hell, maybe after long enough, I can forget it./i
biI think I could need this in my life/b/i
"Alright, Kikyou. I'm ready." He stood up, and walked to her. She looked up at him, and he cringed. They looked the same, but Kagome's spark was lacking in Kikyou's cold, hateful eyes. But, he still loved what she had once been, and he owed her this. She clutched him to her possessively, and he wrapped his own arms around her.
biI think I'm just scared that I know too much/b/i
A pink light erupted from beneath the couple's feet. The sound of rushing wind filled the hanyou's ears
biI can't relate and that's a problem I'm feeling/b/i
He began to sink into the ground, holding Kikyou to him.
biIf you're gone/b/i
As he descended downward so very slowly, his thoughts revolved around only one thing.
biMaybe it's time to come home/b/i
He couldn't bring himself to forget her, to focus on what was now his future.
biThere's an awful lot of breathing room/b/i
He couldn't even bring himself to blame her. He, who was never at fault.
biBut I can hardly move/b/i
He couldn't blame her for his pain, and that made it hurt all the more intensely.
biIf you're gone/b/i
He hoped she was happy.
biBaby you need to come home/b/i
He knew that, without her, he could not be.
biCuz there's a little bit of something me/b/i
There was only one word that went through his mind at that moment.
biIn everything in you./b/i
iKagome.../i
biI think you're so mean - I think we should try/b/i
biI think I could need - this in my life/b/i
biI think I'm just scared - do I talk too much/b/i
biI know it's wrong, it's a problem I'm dealing with/b/i
Author's Note: Well, there it is. Also, if someone could kindly tell me why bthis is not in bold/b, I'd be really appreciative.