**Hello dear Canadian Pirates of the Caribbean fans! It is disclaimer time again. I still don't own the stuff that I disowned in that last disclaimer, and now I must say that I don't own any popular chocolate cookies. Worry not about Canadian content- that is coming in time. Oh yes... It's coming. I only saw the movie once, so you will just have to accept that, and excuse any name-gaffes on my part. I was laughing so hard that I am not even sure if I saw what I actually saw. Only my friend proved that I had not been dreaming. If you want to correct me, that's okay too... but it would really bum us all out.**
[Slightly Revised]
Will Turner leaned against the stern of The Black Pearl. They had already defeated all of those narsty (yes, narsty!) un-dead non-living pirates, and rescued Lizzy etc... Everything was wrapped up tighter than something wrapped up very tightly. In fact, you might well ask why he was there.
"Hey, Jack," he said, as he leaned. "Why are we here?"
Captain Jack Sparrow slowly turned to Will from where he was standing, looking very closely at Mr. Cotton's parrot.
"Ah, come on, Will... Look, why can't you just accept the beautiful nature of life? That's what being a pirate is about- except for the violence, treasure... murder... debauchery... uh..." He paused. "It's about the beauty of life! Only you can't see it. If you ask me, you're messed mate. Got a pirate complex- no... anti-pirate complex-y thing. Don't go all weird on me about why we're here," he crooned. "And that's C-A-P-T-A-....A... C-A-P-T-A-Y-N- Jack ... Sparrow- remember? Me- guy with the hat? And a ship!" he chasséd over to the railings and caressed them tenderly.
Will rolled his eyes. Bloody, witty pirate. "I meant, why are we hanging about the Caribbean on the Black Pearl? I mean... what's the point?"
Jack looked at Will seriously.. for a moment. Then he laughed so hard he nearly choked. "Ahhh..." and then he laughed some more. "Ah, you're so messed- I pity you- really I do," he drawled. "From now on, for pity sake don't point out any..erm.. inconsistencies- alright?" he whispered.
"What?"
"Really, it really bums us all out. You don't want to be the straight man- do you? Come on, live a little." And with that Captain- Captayn Jack Sparrow turned and proceeded to truly enjoy walking on the deck of his own beloved ship.
Will Turner leaned on the stern of the Black Pearl and watched Captain Jack Sparrow. He watched his bizarre, free-legged gait- much like that of a can-can dancer. He wondered... He did a lot of wondering about Jack Sparrow. He thought he had him figured out, (the fool!) when Mr. Gibbs had said he had lost his marbles on Rum Island. Then Liz came along and told him how that couldn't have been. And so, Will wondered. He watched him tuck one hand to his side, and freely swing the other hand upon it's gracefully aloft forearm. He saw how the fingers twiddled in the air, and he wondered.
"He... reminds me of... something." he said to himself, barely audibly. Then it occurred to him. He grinned, and turned towards the sea.
"I'm a little tea-pot short and stout," he sang, VERY quietly. He grinned, and chortled to himself. Suddenly he was started by a flapping noise.
"Ah!"
"Chips-a-hoy!"
"Oh, it's only you," he said to the parrot. The parrot flew away, and Will gazed silently at the mirror-like surface of the sea. Meanwhile, Elizabeth Swann emerged from below deck. She was nearly hit by the passing Mr. Cotton's parrot.
"Urgh! Hey! Watch where you're going!" she said. She was looking for Will, as usual. Things had been a bit strange after their first ever kiss. Very strange. We all know the problem- she loves him but she's too uptight, he loves her but he's too shy. Very tricky. She spotted him gazing into the sea.
"Aw.." she thought. "He's probably thinking of how he can woo me."
"Man, I'm pretty!" thought Will. "Damn pretty... but shy. Too, too shy. And pretty."
Suddenly the air was disturbed by a high pitched whine. Will and Elizabeth turned to the source of the sound- Captain Jack.
"Hold on-" he said to them. He reached into his sash and pulled out a small item. "Hello, Captain Jack Sparrow, scourge of the Caribbean here." Will and Elizabeth exchanged glances. "What?" said Jack to the pair. "Oh, yes... of course. Really?" he drawled. "Does it come in red? I like red. Oh, you do, do you? Hmm.. well, alright. It's your call." And he put the cell phone away.
"What was that all about?" said Mr. Gibbs, making his first appearance in this fan fiction.
"Crew," said Jack very seriously. "I have an announcement to make." Everyone looked up from what they were doing. "I've just received an urgent message from Port Royal. It appears that we shall have to postpone the booty hunting for later."
"Aw, but I want to hunt booty!" said the drawf..guy.. whatever his name is.
"No, I'm sorry, but the treasure hunting, and pirate stuff will have to wait. We're needed to do some," he sighed. " Heroics- again." he looked over his shoulder. "Gads, I feel like batman!"
"What's that cap'n?"
"Oh nothing, my valiant little sailor!" he said. "Yes, it appears that Governor Swann's wig has been stolen."
There was silence. "Uh.. yeah, so?" said Anna Maria. "I had my SHIP stolen and no one came to help me." Elizabeth walked up to Captain Jack.
"Oh, this is very serious. Unfortunately," she said haltingly. "My father... has quite an.. attachment to that particular wig." Everyone looked at her, some with confusion, and others at the end of their tether.
"Not another psychological issue!" whined Captain Jack. "This ship is turning into a clinic!"
"I'm afraid he does. And it only became worse after the attack of those narsty un-dead non-living pirate friends of yours".
"H-yeah!" scoffed Captain Jack.
"He used it to battle one of them off, and now..." she blushed. "It's sort of... his... lucky ... wig."
Captain Jack looked like he was going to cry, wether from laughter or what, I cannot be sure. "Uh... We have to risk our lives, and postpone booty hunting for a lucky wig?"
All was quiet, for awhile. "Yep," said Lizzy at last. And then it was quiet again. Captain Jack sighed.
"Al-right!" he said. "So, uh... we don't have a whole lot to go on here, mates. Governor Swann was a bit hysterical, kind of loopy. Chattering on about tiny fluffy things that talked funny."
Mr. Gibbs started. "Fluffy things?" He said.
"Yes, they spoke to him as well. Wanted a hug- I think he's completely out of his mind, if you don't mind me saying so."
"Oh no!" murmured Mr. Gibbs to himself. Around him, a few of the crew looked about, worried. Mr. Gibbs met the gaze of the other crew members, and nodded.
"Furbys they is!" he whispered mysteriously.
[Slightly Revised]
Will Turner leaned against the stern of The Black Pearl. They had already defeated all of those narsty (yes, narsty!) un-dead non-living pirates, and rescued Lizzy etc... Everything was wrapped up tighter than something wrapped up very tightly. In fact, you might well ask why he was there.
"Hey, Jack," he said, as he leaned. "Why are we here?"
Captain Jack Sparrow slowly turned to Will from where he was standing, looking very closely at Mr. Cotton's parrot.
"Ah, come on, Will... Look, why can't you just accept the beautiful nature of life? That's what being a pirate is about- except for the violence, treasure... murder... debauchery... uh..." He paused. "It's about the beauty of life! Only you can't see it. If you ask me, you're messed mate. Got a pirate complex- no... anti-pirate complex-y thing. Don't go all weird on me about why we're here," he crooned. "And that's C-A-P-T-A-....A... C-A-P-T-A-Y-N- Jack ... Sparrow- remember? Me- guy with the hat? And a ship!" he chasséd over to the railings and caressed them tenderly.
Will rolled his eyes. Bloody, witty pirate. "I meant, why are we hanging about the Caribbean on the Black Pearl? I mean... what's the point?"
Jack looked at Will seriously.. for a moment. Then he laughed so hard he nearly choked. "Ahhh..." and then he laughed some more. "Ah, you're so messed- I pity you- really I do," he drawled. "From now on, for pity sake don't point out any..erm.. inconsistencies- alright?" he whispered.
"What?"
"Really, it really bums us all out. You don't want to be the straight man- do you? Come on, live a little." And with that Captain- Captayn Jack Sparrow turned and proceeded to truly enjoy walking on the deck of his own beloved ship.
Will Turner leaned on the stern of the Black Pearl and watched Captain Jack Sparrow. He watched his bizarre, free-legged gait- much like that of a can-can dancer. He wondered... He did a lot of wondering about Jack Sparrow. He thought he had him figured out, (the fool!) when Mr. Gibbs had said he had lost his marbles on Rum Island. Then Liz came along and told him how that couldn't have been. And so, Will wondered. He watched him tuck one hand to his side, and freely swing the other hand upon it's gracefully aloft forearm. He saw how the fingers twiddled in the air, and he wondered.
"He... reminds me of... something." he said to himself, barely audibly. Then it occurred to him. He grinned, and turned towards the sea.
"I'm a little tea-pot short and stout," he sang, VERY quietly. He grinned, and chortled to himself. Suddenly he was started by a flapping noise.
"Ah!"
"Chips-a-hoy!"
"Oh, it's only you," he said to the parrot. The parrot flew away, and Will gazed silently at the mirror-like surface of the sea. Meanwhile, Elizabeth Swann emerged from below deck. She was nearly hit by the passing Mr. Cotton's parrot.
"Urgh! Hey! Watch where you're going!" she said. She was looking for Will, as usual. Things had been a bit strange after their first ever kiss. Very strange. We all know the problem- she loves him but she's too uptight, he loves her but he's too shy. Very tricky. She spotted him gazing into the sea.
"Aw.." she thought. "He's probably thinking of how he can woo me."
"Man, I'm pretty!" thought Will. "Damn pretty... but shy. Too, too shy. And pretty."
Suddenly the air was disturbed by a high pitched whine. Will and Elizabeth turned to the source of the sound- Captain Jack.
"Hold on-" he said to them. He reached into his sash and pulled out a small item. "Hello, Captain Jack Sparrow, scourge of the Caribbean here." Will and Elizabeth exchanged glances. "What?" said Jack to the pair. "Oh, yes... of course. Really?" he drawled. "Does it come in red? I like red. Oh, you do, do you? Hmm.. well, alright. It's your call." And he put the cell phone away.
"What was that all about?" said Mr. Gibbs, making his first appearance in this fan fiction.
"Crew," said Jack very seriously. "I have an announcement to make." Everyone looked up from what they were doing. "I've just received an urgent message from Port Royal. It appears that we shall have to postpone the booty hunting for later."
"Aw, but I want to hunt booty!" said the drawf..guy.. whatever his name is.
"No, I'm sorry, but the treasure hunting, and pirate stuff will have to wait. We're needed to do some," he sighed. " Heroics- again." he looked over his shoulder. "Gads, I feel like batman!"
"What's that cap'n?"
"Oh nothing, my valiant little sailor!" he said. "Yes, it appears that Governor Swann's wig has been stolen."
There was silence. "Uh.. yeah, so?" said Anna Maria. "I had my SHIP stolen and no one came to help me." Elizabeth walked up to Captain Jack.
"Oh, this is very serious. Unfortunately," she said haltingly. "My father... has quite an.. attachment to that particular wig." Everyone looked at her, some with confusion, and others at the end of their tether.
"Not another psychological issue!" whined Captain Jack. "This ship is turning into a clinic!"
"I'm afraid he does. And it only became worse after the attack of those narsty un-dead non-living pirate friends of yours".
"H-yeah!" scoffed Captain Jack.
"He used it to battle one of them off, and now..." she blushed. "It's sort of... his... lucky ... wig."
Captain Jack looked like he was going to cry, wether from laughter or what, I cannot be sure. "Uh... We have to risk our lives, and postpone booty hunting for a lucky wig?"
All was quiet, for awhile. "Yep," said Lizzy at last. And then it was quiet again. Captain Jack sighed.
"Al-right!" he said. "So, uh... we don't have a whole lot to go on here, mates. Governor Swann was a bit hysterical, kind of loopy. Chattering on about tiny fluffy things that talked funny."
Mr. Gibbs started. "Fluffy things?" He said.
"Yes, they spoke to him as well. Wanted a hug- I think he's completely out of his mind, if you don't mind me saying so."
"Oh no!" murmured Mr. Gibbs to himself. Around him, a few of the crew looked about, worried. Mr. Gibbs met the gaze of the other crew members, and nodded.
"Furbys they is!" he whispered mysteriously.