**Disclaimer time again. I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean- there. I also don't own Mr. O, or Mr. F but I do own Mr. O-F (You'll see!). I don't own well known characters from popular programs from the CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Corporation). I did not invent poutine (even this one- it's based on one from real life!).
It is official though- Captain Jack Sparrow is my muse!! I had been looking for a muse, and now I have one! Yay! I'm always saying: "Slow down, Jack! I can't type that fast!" And he's always annoyed that I can't keep up with his inspiration, but then he has some rum, and I have a root beer and all goes swimmingly! I need to write while I can- University starts again soon and I don't know how long this story will be!
As I said in the reviews, thanks to everyone for giving this story a chance! We've come a long way, us Canadian pirates. I think that an evil monkey vs. parrot battle would be great, but it'll only show up if I can find a good reason for it. (no monkeys.. yet...) and I like 'squwabuckle', although I would like some more suggestions!
By the way- I'm not from Penetanguishene- I just like saying: Penetanguishene, and other cool Canadian names like Saskatchewan, Athabasca, Iqualit!**
The little house was surprisingly roomy inside. There Captain Louis' crew chatted and mingled casually with the crew of The Black Pearl. Captains Jack and Louis took their places across from each other at the head of a long table. Captain Jack couldn't help but examine the other crew- one man especially stuck out. He had a large hat, with an extremely oversized ostrich feather plume, which Jack thought totally ridiculous. His coat was a bright, dazzling red with enormous cuffs pouring with lace from a probably equally flamboyantly puffy pirate shirt. He had an obviously fake eye patch- obvious because he kept moving it from eye to eye, and seemed to be able to see well enough. Even his mannerisms were bizarre, thought Jack. He motioned with such frantic energy, and exaggerated facial expressions. Curious, Jack leaned towards Captain Louis.
"Captain, who is that man?" he asked.
"Ah," said Louis. "We call him 'Mr. Dressup', because he dresses up, you see. Never takes any booty, but clothing and sticks it in this little red trunk he has with flowers painted on it."
Jack's eyes widened, and he took another look.
"I suggest that you call him Mr. Dressup, or else he gets ornery... Unless," continued the captain. "Unless- do you see what's hanging out of his pockets?"
"They look like- dolls to me."
"Close. They're his hand-puppets. You know, like Punch and Judy? See, you must be careful to call him 'Mr. Dressup' only when he's not wearing one of the puppets. When he's got the one that looks like a child on, you must address your conversation to the puppet, and call him 'Casey'. "
"Right..." said Jack, thinking about just how 'ornery' someone this messed could be.
"Now, the other one is like a grey dog. And you must call him 'Finnegan' when he wears that one."
"I shall keep that in mind..." said Jack as he watched Mr. Dressup slip 'Casey' on his hand and try to give the hand puppet a sip of his rum.
"So, Captain Jack, you've travelled a mighty distance to find me here in Acadia. What could be so important that you would dare to travel such a distance, and without maps?"
"Well, it's a long and terribly confusing story, really," began Captain Jack. "Me, and former crew- not the present hands of mine- were cursed blah blah blah, governor Swann of Port Royal became greatly attached to his headgear from valiant service of such in battle with me mutinous un-dead former compatriots," he finished. "I'm not cursed anymore, by the way!" he added.
"Ah, he's fond of those wigs?" asked Louis.
Both captains chuckled. "Aye," said Captain Jack.
"Ridiculous things, aren't they? The fashions today- I don't know, seems like the 1680's all over again," said Captain Louis.
"This wig of his was stolen recently, apparently by furbys," said Captain Jack as he looked for some sign of recognition, or alarm.
"Really?" said Captain Louis, as he sipped on his rum. "Well, we'll sort this all out then." Captain Jack grinned, and took a big swig from his cup of rum.
"This is excellent rum, captain!" said Jack. "I wouldn't mind having a few barrels loaded up- " he became thoughtful for a moment. "I wonder why I've never stolen this kind of rum off of the British before."
"This is Canadian rum. Oh, we wouldn't drink that British stuff!" he laughed. "No, we get it from a village on Isle Royale." The captain looked around, and saw that most of the people had finished their rum. He called to one of his men.
"Bring us some poutine, will you?" The man shuffled off to a back room to fetch the main course.
Will Turner had hardly touched the rum. He was too busy watching how everyone was treating Captain Louis. Captain Jack seemed to keep only half an eye open to treachery from the young privateer captain, but for the most part he seemed to wallow in the esteem of the 'good pirate' captain. Louis encouraged his gregarious nature, and Jack responded by growing steadily more fond of the man. The rest of the crew often looked at the young captain with curiosity, but their faces also revealed a similar fondness and admiration.
Anna Maria was a different matter. She was fond, but a little more than fond. As Will had turned his attention to her he had never once seen her look away from Louis, and she hadn't blinked much either. It was kind of scary. Will wondered if Louis was getting freaked out by now- he looked at Louis. No, still at ease and seemingly not bothered by her staring. Anna Maria kept staring, but her mind was somewhere else. Her large eyes seemed dreamy and half closed, as she rested her chin on her hand. Will concluded that she must be in love with Louis. She must have fallen for his confident, well mannered personality. Or maybe that striking combination of deep blue eyes and black hair.
For the first time, Will wondered where Elizabeth was. He looked towards the long table and started. Elizabeth had taken an empty spot next to Captain Jack and was talking rapidly with Captain Louis. Will watched her listening intently at times, and then laughing. Will felt very strange all of a sudden. He began to wonder if he had missed his chance- or, or... a hundred irrational ideas flew though his head. Will decided that he didn't like Captain Louis.
"Ah, here's the poutine!" said Captain Louis, as a large, deep dish was brought in. It was filled to the brim with sliced potatoes, fried and covered in hot gravy and melted cheese. Louis himself cut it into small portions. "You don't want to eat too much of this, my friends," he said. The Canadian pirates laughed. "It's powerful."
Will got an idea- and I think you know what it is. He walked over to the long table. "What is this- 'Poutine'?" he asked as Louis handed him a small piece which was so thick that it was like cake.
"It is fried frenched potatoes, gravy and cheese," said Louis. Will quietly sat down across from Elizabeth. He looked up into her eyes, and she smiled.
"Hi Will, " she said, wishing he would say something.
Will looked at the poutine, and at Elizabeth. In one motion he grabbed the poutine with his hand and crammed it into his mouth.
"Easy lad!" cried Louis. "You don't know what you're doing!"
Will chewed frantically, as his face turned red. He swallowed the poutine, but before anyone could react, he grabbed the slice off of Jack's plate and ate that too.
"Always been a rash boy, " commented Jack as he reached across the table and tried to wrestle the poutine back. But it was too late.
Will had downed both slices. He opened his eyes, slowly and looked at Elizabeth. He blinked. There appeared to be a faint blue ring around Elizabeth, and for that matter, anything else. And now the ring was stretching, and a red ring was forming where the blue one had been. He blinked again.
"Will.....?"
Will turned slowly and saw Jack- very close to his face. He pulled back to see him better. "Jack?" he said. Jack was somehow moving back and forth very gently.. but it was kind of odd. He blinked again.
"Jack?" he said.
"Oh, no. I'm Ovid"
"Oh..." said Will. "Why do you look like Jack, Ovid?"
"I don't."
Will blinked again. Jack had long blond hair and was much more muscular. he looked kind of like a Viking. In fact, he looked nothing at all like Jack Sparrow. He was wearing his clothes, and drinking his rum- but he was definitely not Jack Sparrow. He was also probably not Ovidius Publius Naso, the famous Roman love poet either- not with hair like that.
"What have you done with Jack?" was all Will could say.
"What? Oh, never mind little pirate man. I am here to help YOU," said Ovid-Fabio. "You need the help of me, Ovid- the teacher of LOVE."
"What?! Hey," objected Will. "I am NOT a pirate!"
"Ha ha!" said Ovid-Fabio as he smiled to himself. "You have eaten of the vision-inducing poutine. You think you see Ovid-Fabio, and so Ovid-Fabio is here to help you to woo your," and here he gestured extremely smarmily (he was very smarmy!) to Elizabeth. "Puella!"
"Hey, don't call her names!"
"Ovid-Fabio only calls un-pretty men names," objected Ovid-Fabio. "She is your puella- your girl! You are a pretty man," he said.
"Yeah.." said Will, a little awkwardly. He didn't like this guy calling him pretty.
"And so is she!" said Ovid-Fabio, as if that answered all of Will's problems. "I mean... she is pretty... not a pretty man..." he corrected himself. "Yes, I will help you be pretty and confident like Ovid-Fabio!"
Will blinked again. He was on the floor, looking up at Jack Sparrow- the real Jack Sparrow, surrounded by Elizabeth, Captain Louis and everyone else.
"Are you alright, Will?" asked Jack. Will thought about that. He didn't know. Probably he shouldn't say anything about Ovid-Fabio. He would keep that his little secret. Besides, he was trying to show how great he was... how would it look if he turned out to be a mental patient? No, he would keep quiet about his 'vision'.
"I think so, Jack. I was- a bit rash," said Will.
"It is the poutine. It affects people in peculiar ways, but he will be alright," said Captain Louis. "It's better than the rum!" he laughed as he helped Will to a seat.
Captain Jack wondered if it was worth giving it a try.
"Nah," he concluded. "I don't know what they would call a pirate like me eating stuff like that, and I've got me self-respect."
It is official though- Captain Jack Sparrow is my muse!! I had been looking for a muse, and now I have one! Yay! I'm always saying: "Slow down, Jack! I can't type that fast!" And he's always annoyed that I can't keep up with his inspiration, but then he has some rum, and I have a root beer and all goes swimmingly! I need to write while I can- University starts again soon and I don't know how long this story will be!
As I said in the reviews, thanks to everyone for giving this story a chance! We've come a long way, us Canadian pirates. I think that an evil monkey vs. parrot battle would be great, but it'll only show up if I can find a good reason for it. (no monkeys.. yet...) and I like 'squwabuckle', although I would like some more suggestions!
By the way- I'm not from Penetanguishene- I just like saying: Penetanguishene, and other cool Canadian names like Saskatchewan, Athabasca, Iqualit!**
The little house was surprisingly roomy inside. There Captain Louis' crew chatted and mingled casually with the crew of The Black Pearl. Captains Jack and Louis took their places across from each other at the head of a long table. Captain Jack couldn't help but examine the other crew- one man especially stuck out. He had a large hat, with an extremely oversized ostrich feather plume, which Jack thought totally ridiculous. His coat was a bright, dazzling red with enormous cuffs pouring with lace from a probably equally flamboyantly puffy pirate shirt. He had an obviously fake eye patch- obvious because he kept moving it from eye to eye, and seemed to be able to see well enough. Even his mannerisms were bizarre, thought Jack. He motioned with such frantic energy, and exaggerated facial expressions. Curious, Jack leaned towards Captain Louis.
"Captain, who is that man?" he asked.
"Ah," said Louis. "We call him 'Mr. Dressup', because he dresses up, you see. Never takes any booty, but clothing and sticks it in this little red trunk he has with flowers painted on it."
Jack's eyes widened, and he took another look.
"I suggest that you call him Mr. Dressup, or else he gets ornery... Unless," continued the captain. "Unless- do you see what's hanging out of his pockets?"
"They look like- dolls to me."
"Close. They're his hand-puppets. You know, like Punch and Judy? See, you must be careful to call him 'Mr. Dressup' only when he's not wearing one of the puppets. When he's got the one that looks like a child on, you must address your conversation to the puppet, and call him 'Casey'. "
"Right..." said Jack, thinking about just how 'ornery' someone this messed could be.
"Now, the other one is like a grey dog. And you must call him 'Finnegan' when he wears that one."
"I shall keep that in mind..." said Jack as he watched Mr. Dressup slip 'Casey' on his hand and try to give the hand puppet a sip of his rum.
"So, Captain Jack, you've travelled a mighty distance to find me here in Acadia. What could be so important that you would dare to travel such a distance, and without maps?"
"Well, it's a long and terribly confusing story, really," began Captain Jack. "Me, and former crew- not the present hands of mine- were cursed blah blah blah, governor Swann of Port Royal became greatly attached to his headgear from valiant service of such in battle with me mutinous un-dead former compatriots," he finished. "I'm not cursed anymore, by the way!" he added.
"Ah, he's fond of those wigs?" asked Louis.
Both captains chuckled. "Aye," said Captain Jack.
"Ridiculous things, aren't they? The fashions today- I don't know, seems like the 1680's all over again," said Captain Louis.
"This wig of his was stolen recently, apparently by furbys," said Captain Jack as he looked for some sign of recognition, or alarm.
"Really?" said Captain Louis, as he sipped on his rum. "Well, we'll sort this all out then." Captain Jack grinned, and took a big swig from his cup of rum.
"This is excellent rum, captain!" said Jack. "I wouldn't mind having a few barrels loaded up- " he became thoughtful for a moment. "I wonder why I've never stolen this kind of rum off of the British before."
"This is Canadian rum. Oh, we wouldn't drink that British stuff!" he laughed. "No, we get it from a village on Isle Royale." The captain looked around, and saw that most of the people had finished their rum. He called to one of his men.
"Bring us some poutine, will you?" The man shuffled off to a back room to fetch the main course.
Will Turner had hardly touched the rum. He was too busy watching how everyone was treating Captain Louis. Captain Jack seemed to keep only half an eye open to treachery from the young privateer captain, but for the most part he seemed to wallow in the esteem of the 'good pirate' captain. Louis encouraged his gregarious nature, and Jack responded by growing steadily more fond of the man. The rest of the crew often looked at the young captain with curiosity, but their faces also revealed a similar fondness and admiration.
Anna Maria was a different matter. She was fond, but a little more than fond. As Will had turned his attention to her he had never once seen her look away from Louis, and she hadn't blinked much either. It was kind of scary. Will wondered if Louis was getting freaked out by now- he looked at Louis. No, still at ease and seemingly not bothered by her staring. Anna Maria kept staring, but her mind was somewhere else. Her large eyes seemed dreamy and half closed, as she rested her chin on her hand. Will concluded that she must be in love with Louis. She must have fallen for his confident, well mannered personality. Or maybe that striking combination of deep blue eyes and black hair.
For the first time, Will wondered where Elizabeth was. He looked towards the long table and started. Elizabeth had taken an empty spot next to Captain Jack and was talking rapidly with Captain Louis. Will watched her listening intently at times, and then laughing. Will felt very strange all of a sudden. He began to wonder if he had missed his chance- or, or... a hundred irrational ideas flew though his head. Will decided that he didn't like Captain Louis.
"Ah, here's the poutine!" said Captain Louis, as a large, deep dish was brought in. It was filled to the brim with sliced potatoes, fried and covered in hot gravy and melted cheese. Louis himself cut it into small portions. "You don't want to eat too much of this, my friends," he said. The Canadian pirates laughed. "It's powerful."
Will got an idea- and I think you know what it is. He walked over to the long table. "What is this- 'Poutine'?" he asked as Louis handed him a small piece which was so thick that it was like cake.
"It is fried frenched potatoes, gravy and cheese," said Louis. Will quietly sat down across from Elizabeth. He looked up into her eyes, and she smiled.
"Hi Will, " she said, wishing he would say something.
Will looked at the poutine, and at Elizabeth. In one motion he grabbed the poutine with his hand and crammed it into his mouth.
"Easy lad!" cried Louis. "You don't know what you're doing!"
Will chewed frantically, as his face turned red. He swallowed the poutine, but before anyone could react, he grabbed the slice off of Jack's plate and ate that too.
"Always been a rash boy, " commented Jack as he reached across the table and tried to wrestle the poutine back. But it was too late.
Will had downed both slices. He opened his eyes, slowly and looked at Elizabeth. He blinked. There appeared to be a faint blue ring around Elizabeth, and for that matter, anything else. And now the ring was stretching, and a red ring was forming where the blue one had been. He blinked again.
"Will.....?"
Will turned slowly and saw Jack- very close to his face. He pulled back to see him better. "Jack?" he said. Jack was somehow moving back and forth very gently.. but it was kind of odd. He blinked again.
"Jack?" he said.
"Oh, no. I'm Ovid"
"Oh..." said Will. "Why do you look like Jack, Ovid?"
"I don't."
Will blinked again. Jack had long blond hair and was much more muscular. he looked kind of like a Viking. In fact, he looked nothing at all like Jack Sparrow. He was wearing his clothes, and drinking his rum- but he was definitely not Jack Sparrow. He was also probably not Ovidius Publius Naso, the famous Roman love poet either- not with hair like that.
"What have you done with Jack?" was all Will could say.
"What? Oh, never mind little pirate man. I am here to help YOU," said Ovid-Fabio. "You need the help of me, Ovid- the teacher of LOVE."
"What?! Hey," objected Will. "I am NOT a pirate!"
"Ha ha!" said Ovid-Fabio as he smiled to himself. "You have eaten of the vision-inducing poutine. You think you see Ovid-Fabio, and so Ovid-Fabio is here to help you to woo your," and here he gestured extremely smarmily (he was very smarmy!) to Elizabeth. "Puella!"
"Hey, don't call her names!"
"Ovid-Fabio only calls un-pretty men names," objected Ovid-Fabio. "She is your puella- your girl! You are a pretty man," he said.
"Yeah.." said Will, a little awkwardly. He didn't like this guy calling him pretty.
"And so is she!" said Ovid-Fabio, as if that answered all of Will's problems. "I mean... she is pretty... not a pretty man..." he corrected himself. "Yes, I will help you be pretty and confident like Ovid-Fabio!"
Will blinked again. He was on the floor, looking up at Jack Sparrow- the real Jack Sparrow, surrounded by Elizabeth, Captain Louis and everyone else.
"Are you alright, Will?" asked Jack. Will thought about that. He didn't know. Probably he shouldn't say anything about Ovid-Fabio. He would keep that his little secret. Besides, he was trying to show how great he was... how would it look if he turned out to be a mental patient? No, he would keep quiet about his 'vision'.
"I think so, Jack. I was- a bit rash," said Will.
"It is the poutine. It affects people in peculiar ways, but he will be alright," said Captain Louis. "It's better than the rum!" he laughed as he helped Will to a seat.
Captain Jack wondered if it was worth giving it a try.
"Nah," he concluded. "I don't know what they would call a pirate like me eating stuff like that, and I've got me self-respect."