Disclaimer: Obviously I don't own Spirited Away, otherwise it wouldn't have come out for several years, at the pace I work.
Feedback: Oh my gods, all the poking and prodding I got from you guys really kept me from forgetting about this piece. I am so sorry it took so long! Please forgive me, and continue to remind me why I shouldn't give up writing.
Again, I am really really /really/ sorry for the uber-long delay. School has been horrible, and actually, I should be working on my research project right now, but my guilty conscience couldn't let me keep you waiting for much longer. And it still ended up being...half a year? ::cries:: I'm so sorry, please forgive me!!!
Elf #1: You think maybe they'd want to read the story instead of hearing you blabber nonsense? After all, that is what they've been waiting for.
Oh yes, no more delaying! Hopefully this somewhat long chapter will make up for my absence. >Elf #2: Just shut up already!
Previously:
"Chihiro?"
Every muscle in her body froze, and her mind was screaming even while her head turned, ever so slowly, preparing, praying, /begging/, though if she wanted it to be or not she wasn't sure gods she wasn't /ready/---
Her breath stopped.
~ * ~ * ~
"…Rin?"
The woman could feel tears welling up, even when she hadn't cried once for as long as she could remember, not even on her first night at the bathhouse, but to hear the sound of that girl's /voice/…
"My god, Chihiro! It's really /you/!"
And of course, they were hugging, like long lost friends did, and it was then Rin realized just how much taller the younger girl had gotten. She stared at the head of messy brown hair, now just above her chin, before pulling her away at arms-length to get a good look of what changes had occurred over the last eight years.
"Chihiro…you've really grown up. You're not that scared little runt who couldn't do a spick of manual labor anymore!" She gave the girl's arm a squeeze. "And look, you've got some muscle on you now!"
For what felt like the first time in a long time, Chihiro smiled, feeling lighter than she ever had before. Wiping the moisture that gathered at the corners of her eyes, she held Rin's hands in her own, as if needing to feel her friend, just to be sure.
/She doesn't hate me… she doesn't…know…/
Feeling her good spirits falling, she dreaded the words that came out next, wishing that she didn't have to say them, not when Rin was so obviously happy. How would she feel, to know that the reason she had returned wasn't because she had wanted to see her friends, but rather forced to face them with her secret that could very well change everything?
The heavy weight settling on her again, pooling into cold fear in her stomach, she took a deep breath before staring directly into her friend's eyes; her deep brown eyes that were sharp when giving orders, but softened just a little when she cried, and now, glowed with the joy she felt at the girl's return.
Chihiro wanted to cry.
"Rin…have you seen a little girl around here?"
The older woman startled slightly, blinking. "Little girl?"
Chihiro nodded her affirmation, looking at the worn tips of her shoes, unable to bear the questioning gaze anymore. "She should have passed over sometime earlier today."
Something akin to realization washed over Rin's face as she slowly nodded, though unfocussed as she tried to recall the details. There had been only one thing that morning that was different from the normal routine at the bathhouse, but she did not understand how it could be of any concern to her friend. However, just looking at the girl's eyes and posture, everything screamed the importance of her answer.
She looked at the teen again, as if trying to catch anything different that would cause this question to arise. "I remember the slug-women running around earlier…something about a smelly human being in the buil—"
Startled by the sudden force of Chihiro's hands on her arms, Rin winced as the smaller girl's grip tightened.
"Where is she, Rin?! Where is she now?!!"
She did not understand. Why was Chihiro so frantic? Not even her mom or dad or even Haku caused this kind of reaction from her. What was one little girl? Humans wandered all the time into the Spirit World, turned into pigs or slaves to the bathhouse, like herself. If it hadn't been—
"Chihiro, what's going on?"
Unrepentantly, she felt her gut twist at the look that crossed the young girl's face, the utter /despair/, the look of someone who had lost something very important. Something that their life depended on to keep on going, to keep on smiling. And she couldn't help but wonder /what/ exactly had happened in the last eight years; what happened to put such a look on her young—and Kami, she was too young to wear such a look—friend's face.
"Please, Rin! Please tell me where she is!"
That expression…it was almost too much to bear.
"She…should be with Yubaba righ—"
The increasing pressure on her arms was suddenly released.
"—t now."
Her words fell upon the empty air.
~ * ~ * ~
/No no nonono! How could this have happened? Why? WHY?! Gods, what have I done? What have I done, to make you take her away from me?! What?!! Oh Gods…/
"Hey! What are you—"
/…if she touches her…/
Numerous faces flashed by as she weaved between the flow of guests and workers, her training as a waitress keeping her from any collisions and her memory of the bathhouse keeping her on the right path. Even if she hadn't remembered exactly where each passage led or what level held what, all she needed to do was go all the way to the top; knowing the location of the stairs and elevators just made it easier for her to get there faster. And how she needed that advantage.
"A human!"
// "Maybe I'll turn you into a lump of coal…"//
"Someone stop her!!"
// "…or maybe I'll give you the hardest job…and work you until you breath your last breath." //
She pushed herself a little faster, not even noticing the burning of her lungs and the protesting ache of her legs. Jumping over a line of tiny Kodomas, she didn't even bother stopping by the elevator painted with the kanji "up"; she would not be able to handle the waiting nor did she wish to encounter the frogmen.
Up and up she went, the loud pounding of her heart drowning out the slapping of feet, past the unsuspecting gods and spirits, having long lost the fumbling frog attendants, until the crowd grew fewer, the lights dimmer, and the air colder. Years ago, the biting cold would have halted her in her steps and fear would have rooted into her heart, but these emotions, whether by or magic or self-induced, where pushed aside with the barest of thought, everything focused on reaching the top.
It was all too long before the golden glint of the ghoulish doorknob winked through the darkness in the flickering light of the torches, and she did not hesitate to throw herself upon the door, ignoring the indignant squawk of the metallic face. The maze of mirrors and doors did nothing to delay her, as if all illusions were lifted and her daughter was so close --- /that/ door --- and she did not have a plan or any powers to stand against Yubaba but she didn't care because she was /there/.
A loud crunch resounded as the door flew open and crashed into the wall.
"WHERE IS SHE?!!!"
~ * ~ * ~
"WHERE IS SHE?!!!"
Half-lidded eyes slowly gazed up from the pile of papers, almost reptilian in apathy, to settled upon the heavily breathing wild-haired girl. A smile that brink on a sneer settled upon her leathery lips, the action rising from old habit as her mind had shut down ever since sensing the "intruder" in her domain.
"So you've returned…Sen."
Not her real name, no. She no longer owned her real name, because if she did, her wards and spells would have stopped this whelp long ago. If she did, she would not be feeling this tremor in her hand or this knot in her stomach.
"Where is she?"
Of course, she had known she was coming. From the first curious step upon the gate's door that morning to when the little intruder was brought up screaming and biting and then she saw her face and she knew --- /knew/ --- that the mother --- /that girl/ --- would not be far behind.
"I see you're still as much of a brat as before." She paused to put down the feather pen, smoothing an unnoticeable wrinkle in her dress, anything to keep her hands busy lest they give her away. "You'd think Time would teach you some manners, but you haven't changed a bit."
Not true. Even if she refused to look directly at her, not into those inky depths that were bound to swallow her and smother her, she could pick out the details that age had wrought onto the child who was no longer a child. Shapely legs toned by constant work helped the woman gain at least half a foot of height over her own squat stature. Her legs weren't the only developed part; there was a noticeable amount of muscle in her arms even though her womanly body did not allow them to show distinctly, but it was impossible to mistake the tight line that ran up her clenched fists.
"Yubaba."
Finally forced to meet those dark eyes, no longer able to find an excuse not to, she tensed at the swirl of emotion within them. The air seemed thick with the rising rage, a mother's rage, that emanated from the young girl, and she had to remind herself that she was just a /human/ girl.
Slap!
The old woman blinked in surprised at the hands that laid flat upon the ground before her, a waterfall of brown locks hiding the girl's face from view. The tension had suddenly vanished, as she fell on her knees.
"Please, Yubaba. Let her go. You may turn my body into coal if you wish, but let my daughter go."
There was not quiver in her voice, no hesitation in her sacrifice.
/You truly have a mother's heart, Sen./
//"Where's my Baby?!!!" Baby!!!!" //
/But…/
She let out a snort before eyeing her critically.
"And what use would I have for more coal?" With a wave of her hand and a wink of one of the numerous rings upon her fingers, a sheet of paper and a pen flew towards them and landed in front of the bewildered girl's face. She did not look to see what further reaction would arise upon her face, but instead, focused upon the document she had been studying right before the human child had barged in on her.
"You know what to do."
"But…but why?"
She paused, looking over the rim of her spectacles. /Because after your little adventure here, more and more worker girls have tried to get out of their contracts! /
"When given a good opportunity, it is best to shut your mouth and not question it. There is no telling how long my generosity will last."
She watched with beady eyes as the other girl hurriedly scrawled her signature across the paper, and as soon as the last stroke was written, both paper and pen floated towards her outstretched hand. The familiar name this time was written in a slightly more elegant hand, rather than the childish scratches of eight years ago. Slowly, she closed her fingers above all the characters save for the last, before laying the sheet face down on her desk.
"You will once again be known as Sen, and you will take your previous job cleaning the baths. No one will guide you this time, but I am sure you know the way."
"What about my daughter?"
"Aren't you the persistent one? How annoying." Another wave of her hand, and the thick curtains that closed her office from the other room lifted apart, revealing a familiar mountain of plush pillows. Amidst them laid the prone form of Kouryuu, seeming to be in a deep sleep. And curled up not to far away, was the large form of Baby.
Almost immediately, Chihiro was by her daughter's side, checking once over for any injuries, which were none save a few scrapes here and there. As she gently lifted her into her arms, pale green eyes fluttered open upon the movement and a soft smile tugged at her lips as her sleep-filled eyes settled upon Chihiro's dirtied face, traces of tears trekking down her face.
"Hi Mommy."
And with that whispered, the child carried so securely in her arms curled closer to her mother's warmth, and fell back asleep.
Not wanting to jostle her precious bundle, Chihiro did nothing about the wetness on her cheeks. Only then, with Kouryuu safely in her arms, did she dare to look back at the woman whose eyes were burning upon her the whole time.
For a moment, neither said anything. Nothing needed to be said. But it wasn't long before Chihiro broke the connection, shuffling towards the opened door of the office. It wasn't until that moment, that she had begun to feel the old fear creeping back. Not because Yubaba's threat scared her, but because she /knew/. The fact that someone might /understand/ her, share what she felt…
It was the most frightening thing.
A step away from the door and her escape, she paused. And in a soft, but nonetheless genuine voice,
"Thank you."
And then she was gone.
~ * ~ * ~
// "Thank you." //
A deep exhale was released as Yubaba took off her glasses, rubbing the space between her eyes. Every confrontation with that girl, even when she was ten, always left her drained. Though this time hit a little closer than she would have felt comfortable with. Curse that child.
// "Please, Yubaba…" //
// "You may turn my body into coal if you wish, but let my daughter go." //
/Hn…what a fool of a girl…/
As if impelled to, she got up and wandered into her baby's room, the curtains still having not been released. What a change had come upon her precious child. Though still as big as ever, no longer did he wear the red cloth of an infant, but rather a toddler's tee and shorts. Extra extra large, of course. And no longer was he bald, but a head of downy blonde fuzz had begun to grow in.
How fast they grew.
Pulling the quilt off of the never occupied bed, she flung it over her sleeping boy's body, even though it was only big enough to cover his belly. And then, finding the hidden switch on the walls, she watched as the lights dimmed from "Day" to "Night." With that, she left her angel to sleep, the curtains falling into place behind her as she silently retreated back to her office.
It was not until a few seconds later, when she was back at her desk, did the soft smile erase itself from her lips, settling back into the familiar thin scowl.
That child was back. What a nuisance.
Flipping over the paper that was signed not moments before, she glared heatedly at the scrawled characters. The name "Ogino Chihiro" glared mockingly back.
She had not taken her name, or more like, was not /able/ to take her name. A problem that vexed her to no end, because even though the child now worked under her once again, there was no /control/. Nothing hindered her from just walking out at first light.
Not that she needed to know that of course.
Satisfied, at least for now, that her little show earlier would fool the girl for a while, she dropped the document on the ground for one of the rolling heads, who had scattered from the loud entry earlier, to file away, and she donned her glasses to continue her work.
// "WHERE IS SHE?!!!" //
// "Thank you." //
// "You may turn my body into coal if you wish, but let my daughter go." //
Snarling slightly in frustration, she threw the papers in her hand across the room, not caring that they scattered all across the room. The heads could pick them up later.
What right did she have, saying those reckless words? What would it have accomplished? It continued to bother her, how easily the girl child was throwing her life away. What about the little girl? Did she think of what would have happened to that little girl if her mother were gone? Was she that willing to throw her little girl all alone into the world?
No, that was not it. It was only a mother, trying to protect her child. It was the rashness of youth that made her spout those words. How stupid humans were.
A leathery hand came up to cover her face as she looked between spread fingers. And yet, this reckless emotion was what protected her as well, wasn't it.
For years, centuries even, she had taken names of every creature that came upon her doorsteps looking for work. Every time, a part that the person valued was lost with his name. But what happens when one no longer carried any value of oneself? Then what was in a name?
Nothing. There was nothing in the name of a shell. There was nothing to be taken in one who treasured nothing in their self.
And this was the Chihiro that had signed her contract.
It worried her, though she would never admit it. Never had she met anyone so selfless, so willing to take any measure, even to the point of death. Such people did not exist in this realm, and she was certain that it was rare within the human world as well, and all with good reason. Such people had no restraints.
And that made them dangerous.
/Haku, you empty-headed dragon…look what you have brought upon us now…/
~ TBC ~
Author's Note: Okay, I hope that will satisfy you for a little while. I am again, so sorry for the long delay, but real life is biting me in the rear as it is. I am sad to say it may be another long period of time before I can update again, because finals are coming up and Junior year is just Hell in general. Ai ya. I hope you understand. If not and you decide to abandon this inconsistent author, that is alright too. I know I'd be pretty mad if I had to wait this long for a chapter. Ai ya...there no way for me to condone my sincerest apologies, but I want you to know that I /do/ wish to finish this story. Though it seems to be carrying me in another direction than what I had originally planned. ^^; But that's alright. I just hope you'll bear with me long enough to last the ride. Thank you so much as it is with your encouraging words, and I hope this new year treats you all well!
To the Reviewers: I realized that in my last chapter, I had missed answering a few reviews, because I had just flipped to reviews for the last chapter, and hadn't looked at the others. I am sorry for this. I had planned to answer them in this chapter, but it has been so long and I have lost track of where I had stopped, and I am a little short on time right now. Again, I am so sorry. I hope you all enjoyed this latest chapter, even though the end may be a little rushed. Sorry if it is bad quality and the flow is awkward, because I had written this chapter over different periods of time, and the end is almost completely one shot. So please forgive the lack of quality this time. I'll try to do better next time, whenever that will be.