That evening, last year. I can remember it so vividly.
Everything went pretty well, Kevin had just got his licence a couple months earlier. I was thrilled. Finally a sibling could drive me around. It was the sense of being more independent then ever, for him. I was happy. We were all happy. He liked to brag "I'm your bigger brother, Luke. I can now re-enforce that". (Okay, he didn't that, exactly, but you catch my drift.) He had the self-awareness and the self-esteem I always wish I had. I remember, he was going to this party, it was the weekend and he was so happy about it, he had called me, on his cell, to let me know he was on his way there. That was the last I heard of him. Until the police called, it was dad.
I picked up the phone, "Luke, Kevin's been in a car accident." I was in shock. "What? No. That couldn't have happened! Where is he? Is he okay? Please.tell me he's okay!"
"He's being rushed over to the emergency." Dad said. He was frightened. I didn't know what I could do. I remember studying about car accidents in school. The teacher started talking about smoking, then drinking and driving.which eventually turned in to a long conversation about different kinds of accidents and what the outcome usually is. I knew Kevin's chances were not very good.
I suddenly had this thought.
What if he didn't make it?
No. That couldn't have happened. I know Dad. He would have said something.
I remember proceeding to go to the hospital, I didn't know which one to go to, so I just went to the closest one. I grabbed my coat, put on my shoes. Locked the doors, and made a mad dash for the bus.
I know that Joan was on her way home from studying with some of her friends.
She was getting off bus, smiling. She obviously hadn't figured out what happened. I pushed her back on the bus, I was in panic-mode.
'"JOAN! Kevin's had uh.uh.a CAR accident.I'm going to the hospital. You're coming with me!"
Joan's emotions quickly changed. She looked like she had seen a ghost.
"Whaaaat? No!! Kevin's.is he.. Kevin!!! What.what happened, Luke? What do you know?" Joan couldn't even look at me while she talked; she looked down.
"I don't.know, yet, Joan. I don't know the whole story, all I know is that we've got to get to the hospital."
I was on the verge of having a major psychological breakdown. I had to keep it together. If Joan wasn't going to, then I for sure had to.
Finally. I pulled the wire cord on the bus window, it stopped. I grabbed Joan. She looked really scared, petrified even. We got off the bus, and ran, as quick as we could to the hospital.
I couldn't even begin to tell you, my adrenaline started pumping in. I felt like 'Super-geek'..I should create that character, anyways-Back to the story.
Joan was too tired to walk a block and A half. She was so overcome with a sense of anger, and sadness. I don't blame her. Females get that way.
Finally, we got to the hospital.as I'm on the subject of things depressing, this one tops it all. It might as well be called 'The most DEPRESSING place in the world', but if hospitals started looking like, oh.Disney land, I'd be petrified.
I saw Dad. Before I could say anything Joan had given him the longest hug. All I could do was stand there, look, and worry.
"Oh daddy.Is Kevin.okay? Is he fine, and all?" Joan was crying. I could barely hear her. I don't know how dad understood.
"He's alive. I can tell you that much. The extent of the damage, well..at the moment, it's unknown." My heart sank. I'll admit that. From a person to another person reading this, it did.
I could feel the pain, I could feel the pain coming from Joan when she spoke. I could feel the wrenching gut feeling Dad had, when he spoke.
"Mom's on her way. She's coming. I promise you that, She's rushing over right this second." Dad was looking at me when he said that. Joan took a seat right next to him, she was leaning on his shoulder.
"Nothing feels right anymore. NOTHING! God.why!! Why did this have to happen. I know that when he's discharged, our lives..they'll be changed. All due to a stupid accident-" Joan's tears were running down her face like a waterfall, she was a wreck. I tried to keep it all together, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to express my feelings, other then writing an essay. Yes, writing an essay helps me explain everything. I aced my molecular theory essay.
I don't think I'd ace an essay on how I was feeling. there aren't even words to describe it.
We all sat in silence in the waiting room. Joan, overwhelmed in her own tears. Dad, on his cell phone with someone. And me, well, I just looked at the walls, I read all the health issues. Dad wasn't suppose to be on his cellular. But because he is the 'authority' he can do whatever he wants. Not even worring about the electricity getting in the way with the machinery.
Mom arrived, she was panicing.
"WHERE'S Kevin? Will? Where is he?" Mom was in her coat, she looked tired, Dad got off his phone and begain to talk, in a shakey tone,"He's being looked after. Everything's going to be fine."
"Dad. With the probablity of most accidents, since he's alive, I'm telling you right now-an aspect of his life will most likely change, forever. The percentage of car accidents with no damage is a very VERY small percent. He'd be lucky if he could WALK away from this.
EXTREMELY lucky." Everyone looked at me. Mom started crying, Joan plugged her ears. Dad ****ed his head to the side.
Why does this always happen when I try to confront my family about things? I'm trying to be real. They'd have to find out about Kevin some how, even if I was wrong-they needed to know about the risks.
A doctor came out.
"Will and Helen Girardi, May I speak with you a moment?" He was holding a folder, he took mom and dad to a private room.
I couldn't hear anything. I waited. I sat with Joan. She couldn't say anything, I don't think she knew WHAT to say.
I waited. I twiddled my thumbs, I looked up at the wall, I looked down at the floor, I leaned down in my seat.
Mom and Dad came out. They were really upset.
The doctor went the other way.
Mom sat down, then dad did.
"What'd he say?" I said.
"Oh the news..it's not good, Luke." Mom said.
"What? Was I right..I mean, what'd he say? I'd like to know" I said, Joan interrupted quickly.
"Don't PUSH it Luke. But seriously-mom, I'd like to know, too" Mom looked at dad. He began to talk.
"They've testing, cat scans, x-rays. Kevin's way of life has changed. He's not going to be able to walk again."
That wasn't new. I knew that those chances were very, very plausible.
"Oh my god." Joan covered her mouth, looked down and cried. She cried even more then I had ever seen.
"When will I be able to see him? I need to talk to him." Joan was really pushing to see him. I wanted to, but I didn't want to see him lying, with IV's and all sorts of things connected. That wasn't my idea for an evening of science-themed fun.
"The doctor said we could go in anytime we wanted. Room 192." Mom said, sadly.
"I'm not going, I can't see Kevin like this." Did I just say that? I guess I did, suddenly I wanted everything back to the way they were before. Fine. I wanted Kevin to tell me that my smarts were going to make me rich, and that he was jealous. The reason why he was jealous is because my talent was overwhelming. It was inside my head, and people hated me for that. "Oh, Let's shove that geek in a locker." Kevin got by doing the best in every sport. He barely graduated.sports were everything, over grades.and he'd lost that. I couldn't think straight.
Everything went pretty well, Kevin had just got his licence a couple months earlier. I was thrilled. Finally a sibling could drive me around. It was the sense of being more independent then ever, for him. I was happy. We were all happy. He liked to brag "I'm your bigger brother, Luke. I can now re-enforce that". (Okay, he didn't that, exactly, but you catch my drift.) He had the self-awareness and the self-esteem I always wish I had. I remember, he was going to this party, it was the weekend and he was so happy about it, he had called me, on his cell, to let me know he was on his way there. That was the last I heard of him. Until the police called, it was dad.
I picked up the phone, "Luke, Kevin's been in a car accident." I was in shock. "What? No. That couldn't have happened! Where is he? Is he okay? Please.tell me he's okay!"
"He's being rushed over to the emergency." Dad said. He was frightened. I didn't know what I could do. I remember studying about car accidents in school. The teacher started talking about smoking, then drinking and driving.which eventually turned in to a long conversation about different kinds of accidents and what the outcome usually is. I knew Kevin's chances were not very good.
I suddenly had this thought.
What if he didn't make it?
No. That couldn't have happened. I know Dad. He would have said something.
I remember proceeding to go to the hospital, I didn't know which one to go to, so I just went to the closest one. I grabbed my coat, put on my shoes. Locked the doors, and made a mad dash for the bus.
I know that Joan was on her way home from studying with some of her friends.
She was getting off bus, smiling. She obviously hadn't figured out what happened. I pushed her back on the bus, I was in panic-mode.
'"JOAN! Kevin's had uh.uh.a CAR accident.I'm going to the hospital. You're coming with me!"
Joan's emotions quickly changed. She looked like she had seen a ghost.
"Whaaaat? No!! Kevin's.is he.. Kevin!!! What.what happened, Luke? What do you know?" Joan couldn't even look at me while she talked; she looked down.
"I don't.know, yet, Joan. I don't know the whole story, all I know is that we've got to get to the hospital."
I was on the verge of having a major psychological breakdown. I had to keep it together. If Joan wasn't going to, then I for sure had to.
Finally. I pulled the wire cord on the bus window, it stopped. I grabbed Joan. She looked really scared, petrified even. We got off the bus, and ran, as quick as we could to the hospital.
I couldn't even begin to tell you, my adrenaline started pumping in. I felt like 'Super-geek'..I should create that character, anyways-Back to the story.
Joan was too tired to walk a block and A half. She was so overcome with a sense of anger, and sadness. I don't blame her. Females get that way.
Finally, we got to the hospital.as I'm on the subject of things depressing, this one tops it all. It might as well be called 'The most DEPRESSING place in the world', but if hospitals started looking like, oh.Disney land, I'd be petrified.
I saw Dad. Before I could say anything Joan had given him the longest hug. All I could do was stand there, look, and worry.
"Oh daddy.Is Kevin.okay? Is he fine, and all?" Joan was crying. I could barely hear her. I don't know how dad understood.
"He's alive. I can tell you that much. The extent of the damage, well..at the moment, it's unknown." My heart sank. I'll admit that. From a person to another person reading this, it did.
I could feel the pain, I could feel the pain coming from Joan when she spoke. I could feel the wrenching gut feeling Dad had, when he spoke.
"Mom's on her way. She's coming. I promise you that, She's rushing over right this second." Dad was looking at me when he said that. Joan took a seat right next to him, she was leaning on his shoulder.
"Nothing feels right anymore. NOTHING! God.why!! Why did this have to happen. I know that when he's discharged, our lives..they'll be changed. All due to a stupid accident-" Joan's tears were running down her face like a waterfall, she was a wreck. I tried to keep it all together, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to express my feelings, other then writing an essay. Yes, writing an essay helps me explain everything. I aced my molecular theory essay.
I don't think I'd ace an essay on how I was feeling. there aren't even words to describe it.
We all sat in silence in the waiting room. Joan, overwhelmed in her own tears. Dad, on his cell phone with someone. And me, well, I just looked at the walls, I read all the health issues. Dad wasn't suppose to be on his cellular. But because he is the 'authority' he can do whatever he wants. Not even worring about the electricity getting in the way with the machinery.
Mom arrived, she was panicing.
"WHERE'S Kevin? Will? Where is he?" Mom was in her coat, she looked tired, Dad got off his phone and begain to talk, in a shakey tone,"He's being looked after. Everything's going to be fine."
"Dad. With the probablity of most accidents, since he's alive, I'm telling you right now-an aspect of his life will most likely change, forever. The percentage of car accidents with no damage is a very VERY small percent. He'd be lucky if he could WALK away from this.
EXTREMELY lucky." Everyone looked at me. Mom started crying, Joan plugged her ears. Dad ****ed his head to the side.
Why does this always happen when I try to confront my family about things? I'm trying to be real. They'd have to find out about Kevin some how, even if I was wrong-they needed to know about the risks.
A doctor came out.
"Will and Helen Girardi, May I speak with you a moment?" He was holding a folder, he took mom and dad to a private room.
I couldn't hear anything. I waited. I sat with Joan. She couldn't say anything, I don't think she knew WHAT to say.
I waited. I twiddled my thumbs, I looked up at the wall, I looked down at the floor, I leaned down in my seat.
Mom and Dad came out. They were really upset.
The doctor went the other way.
Mom sat down, then dad did.
"What'd he say?" I said.
"Oh the news..it's not good, Luke." Mom said.
"What? Was I right..I mean, what'd he say? I'd like to know" I said, Joan interrupted quickly.
"Don't PUSH it Luke. But seriously-mom, I'd like to know, too" Mom looked at dad. He began to talk.
"They've testing, cat scans, x-rays. Kevin's way of life has changed. He's not going to be able to walk again."
That wasn't new. I knew that those chances were very, very plausible.
"Oh my god." Joan covered her mouth, looked down and cried. She cried even more then I had ever seen.
"When will I be able to see him? I need to talk to him." Joan was really pushing to see him. I wanted to, but I didn't want to see him lying, with IV's and all sorts of things connected. That wasn't my idea for an evening of science-themed fun.
"The doctor said we could go in anytime we wanted. Room 192." Mom said, sadly.
"I'm not going, I can't see Kevin like this." Did I just say that? I guess I did, suddenly I wanted everything back to the way they were before. Fine. I wanted Kevin to tell me that my smarts were going to make me rich, and that he was jealous. The reason why he was jealous is because my talent was overwhelming. It was inside my head, and people hated me for that. "Oh, Let's shove that geek in a locker." Kevin got by doing the best in every sport. He barely graduated.sports were everything, over grades.and he'd lost that. I couldn't think straight.