A/N: Welcome back! This story picks up a few months after "Deadpool: Guardians of the Multiverse" left off and chronicles the team's next mission to defend the multiverse. Just so you know, this one will be a good deal longer than the previous three installments in this loose "series." Hope you enjoy it!
I do not own any of the characters who appear in this story.
Chapter 1: The Metal Octopus
EARTH-616 (SACRED TIMELINE) – FEBRUARY 9, 2025
Hello there, readers. It's me, your friendly neighborhood Merc with a Mouth here. And I'm in the middle of what might be the biggest waste of time I've ever experienced.
This morning I was chillaxing in Deadpool Tower – yep, I bought the Sacred Timeline version of Avengers Tower too. I liked having Deadpool Tower when I was living in whatever universe I was in before "Deadpool's Tomorrow War" was written, so I decided to buy this version of it too. It's really a shame that theory about Kingpin buying it turned out to be nothing more than good fanfiction material, because that would have been neat. Still, I'm glad he didn't buy the tower so I didn't have to fight him for it.
Anyway. Me. Deadpool Tower. Preparing to watch the Super Bowl tonight. Gonna be a big matchup. Chiefs vs. Cowboys. As Tigger says, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be great, it's gonna be greeeeaaaat.
And then Sylvie called all of us Guardians of the Multiverse – me, her, Loki, the Meta-Crisis Doctor, Rose Tyler, Harley Quinn, and Magik – to the Citadel at the End of Time for a staff meeting. Why can't Super Bowl Sunday ever go off without a hitch? In 2018 it was preempted by some stupid thing called the "Avengers Bowl" that the Avengers threw at their Compound. In 2019 there was a blackout when Winter Storm Wade (I kid you not) barreled straight up the east coast. In 2020 my potato chip-eating hand was cut off while I foiled a petty robbery less than two hours before the game. And in good ol' 2021 the game was cancelled because of the worldwide Murder Hornet infestation.
So, is Super Bowl Sunday cursed?
…Maybe.
"Glad to see you all could make it," Sylvie said once we arrived. "I'll get straight to the issue at hand. Late yesterday, Loki and I detected a breach in the multiverse within Wakanda, and almost as soon as it appeared, it closed again. We contacted T'Challa, and once we finally managed to convince him that we weren't behind the breach in the first place, he told us that the Dora Milaje had seen the creature suddenly appear. Once they noticed it and approached it, it vanished again, but they got a decent look at it first. They described it as a flying metal octopus with a large number of glowing red eyes at its front."
"Metal octopus? Easy. It's Doc Ock," I said.
"Did he have lots of red eyes? Could he fly? For that matter, was he evil?"
I hate it when she throws a good point at me. Except the last sentence, which…I guess technically it was accurate, but still, he was evil when his tentacles took over his mind.
"While we're mentioning Doc Ock," Magik said, "just wondering, why didn't you send us to help rectify that whole multiverse mess back in November?"
"Because this universe's Sorcerer Supreme was aware of the situation and helping to solve it. If it had looked like things were taking a turn for the worse, we would have stepped in to intervene."
Magik shrugged. Sometimes I think she still isn't used to not being referred to when someone mentions the "Sorcerer Supreme."
"So," Sylvie continued, "today we're going to head to Wakanda and try to collect any more information we can about this creature. If we get there soon enough, I should still be able to use this to scan the area where the creature was and figure out what universe it came from." She reached into her pocket and held up something that looked strangely like an ear thermometer.
"Is that a sonic screwdriver?" the Meta-Crisis Doctor asked.
Or that.
"No, I actually haven't thought of a name for it," Sylvie said. "But I guess it does look a bit like that."
"Sonic thermometer," I said.
"I actually like that," Harley agreed.
"Putting aside its name," Sylvie said, shoving the device back in her pocket, "I agreed with T'Challa that we'd come today to investigate."
I groaned, "Why don't you just go alone? I mean, if all you need is to scan for this creature, what purpose will we serve?"
"Well, you'll learn how to use my…sonic thermometer," she rolled her eyes, "to figure out what universe a creature is from. Let's say there's a point in time in the future where we need to split up, and I'm not available to do that task? Then one of you can do it."
I believe that translated to, "If I'm feeling lazy and want a day off, you can do my job for me."
"Fine, let's get this done and over with," I said. "Illyana, one portal to Wakanda, please. Triple strength, because I think this is gonna be mind-numbingly $#%&ing boring."
"Actually, Sylvie and I agreed with T'Challa that we'd fly there in your jet," Loki said to me, "simply because it's our only available aircraft. We figure that would be a safer way to reach Wakanda than teleporting, given that the metal octopus thing teleported there. Less of a chance we'd be mistaken for unwelcome intruders."
Goddammit, since when did Loki take up making good points?
And so, right after that meeting concluded, I brought the Guardians "home" to Deadpool Tower. "Jesus, do you ever clean this place?" Illyana asked.
Not sure what she was talking about. I mean, sure, there were clothes scattered on the furniture, the furniture could use some dusting, there were some dirty dishes in the sink, but it was no Hoarding: Buried Alive situation.
"C'mon, over here," I said, ignoring her comment and ushering everyone to the elevator on the far end of the room. "We're going down to Sub-Level 3 for the Dead-Jet."
"Sub-Level 3?" Loki asked. "What do you need three Sub-Levels for?"
"Man-cave, garage, and jet, which has to be far lower than the others because the Dead-Jet emerges under the Hudson River. In order to get a permit to build the tunnel to connect the tower to the Hudson, I had to make sure it was far enough underground that it didn't interfere with NYC's sewer system. Well, that and a smidge of blackmailing the mayor when he still wasn't fully willing to commit to Deadpool Tunnel."
"What is with this pathological need you have to name everything of yours after you?" Magik said.
"And for that matter, who's the mayor of New York in this universe?" Rose asked.
"Ethan Ellis, the son of the president from Iron Man 3. Don't worry, we're not dealing with some nutcase like…Wilson Fisk or Rudy Giuliani."
So a couple hours later, after traveling through my hyper-velocity tunnel (based on a blueprint I found accidentally left behind at Avengers Tower), we were all in the Dead-Jet, flying over the Sahara Desert as we approached Wakanda.
"I just gotta say you one more time," I said to Sylvie. "Please, please tell me you are 100%, bona fide, #%$&ing certain that we aren't just hunting down Otto Octavius. I mean, there was literally an episode of Ultimate Spider-Man with him that was titled 'The Iron Octopus'."
"And again, can he fly?" Sylvie asked. "Can he teleport? Does he have a bunch of red eyes?"
"I believe those are otherwise known as a jetpack, the Space Stone, and…oh yeah, a MASK!"
"Calm down," Magik said. "At worst, this is a waste of a couple hours of our lives. It's not like you really have anything going on in your life."
Ow.
"Uh, yes it is, when it's Super Bowl Sunday. I am not missing the Super Bowl for this #$&%, and if I do, Otto is gonna end up losing a very precious body part for making me miss it."
"I hope the Chiefs win," Harley said.
"Cable's still pissed the Steelers didn't make it to the playoffs after getting his hopes up when they crushed the Bills earlier in the season."
Suddenly, we broke through the forcefield around Wakanda; I trust that you've seen Black Panther and/or Avengers: Infinity War and know what that looks like, so I'll spare you the description. Or, who knows, maybe you're reading this in late 2022 and have seen Black Panther: Wakanda Forever too. Here's hoping they put a shot of entering Wakanda in that movie too!
"Laird, hit it!" I yelled as we crossed the forcefield, and I activated the speakers in the Dead-Jet. The Black Panther Theme started blaring inside the jet.
"What the #$&% is this?" Harley asked.
"It is called 'Black Panther Theme'," I said. "All the good heroes have one nowadays. Even me."
"Since when?" Sylvie asked.
"Since approximately 59 minutes into Deadpool. It is called 'Deadpool Rap,' and it plays during the montage of me hunting down Francis."
"For that matter, what's 'Laird, hit it!'?" Rose asked.
"He's a guy who helps Ryan Reynolds put on this costume."
I flew the Dead-Jet towards the center of the city. Yeah, I know it's lazy writing that this thing just happens to be a seven-seater when I never plan on carrying six passengers around, but for once, I'm grateful for lazy writing. Usually it just #$%&s things up, like with the rules surrounding Cable's time-travel device.
Harley complained, "I'm with Wade-"
I can count on one hand how many times someone other than Vanessa has ever uttered those words.
"-I mean, I doubt it's Doc Ock, but I still want something cool to fight. I'm itching to take down another giant monster. These past two months the only person I've beat up is someone who tried to rob me at a grocery store. And even then, security stepped in before I even got the chance to knee him in the crotch."
"Right? We need a cool, giant thing to fight."
"Really? Wasn't Shuma-Gorath enough for you?" Sylvie asked.
"No, because thanks to you, I didn't get to see the mother#%$&er explode! But not someone as dangerous as him. Maybe more like…Abaddon."
"Who did you say?" the Meta-Crisis Doctor asked.
"Don't worry, he's not the guy you're thinking he is. He's somehow the son of the Beast, and even I don't know how the hell that happened. But he can kill you just by his shadow touching you. That would be an interesting battle. Also, I'm pretty sure he's the same Abaddon from the MonsterVerse. Instead of being trapped in the Cardiff Rift, though, there he was trapped by Monarch in Devils Tower in Wyoming."
"So if he were to lean down and touch his own shadow, would he kill himself?" Harley asked. "Or does he have a Peter Pan shadow that runs amok doing whatever the hell it wants?"
"Hmm, that's a thought-provoking question. What I would've given for such an easy means of suicide back in May 2018."
As we flew the Dead-Jet over the plaza in front of the Wakandan palace, I activated the jet's external speakers as well. "Black Panther Theme" flooded the plaza. "Are you sure you should be doing that?" Rose asked. "Wouldn't that make them think T'Challa's on arriving on this ship?"
"Nah, none of them know this music means anything since they can't break the fourth wall. It's our little inside joke. Or, rather, outside joke, since it refers to the world outside this one."
As soon as the jet landed, I opened the rear ramp and the seven of us walked down the ramp. "Should we have grabbed some extra weapons from the jet just in case that thing comes back while we're here?" Harley asked.
"Well, I have my swords and guns. Magik takes her Soulsword with her everywhere, and Sylvie and Loki can summon daggers at a moment's notice. I know you left your mallet and baseball bat in the jet, and they're pretty useful against flesh and bone, but I'm skeptical of how well they would hold up against metal."
"Well, when you put it like that, we are pretty well-armed."
Approaching us from the Wakandan palace was T'Challa, along with several of the Dora Milaje. Damn, they're so cool. Vibranium spears. I should try to get a pair of vibranium swords. Or better yet, adamantium swords from the remains of Thanos' giant sword. Then again, I don't know if that survived Iron Man snapping his fingers, given that other inanimate components of the Black Order like the wreckage of the Sanctuary II disintegrated.
"Welcome to Wakanda," T'Challa said. "You are the…Guardians of the Multiverse, right?"
"That's us," I said, crossing my arms over my chest. "Wakanda forever, man!"
"I'm sorry, he has this problem where he perpetually acts like he's the leader," Sylvie said, rudely shoving me aside. "I'm actually the leader. Thank you for allowing us to come." She extended her hand.
T'Challa shook her hand. "We just hope that you can help us figure out what that creature was and why it came."
Suddenly, I heard a loud beeping. He all looked around for its source until one of the Dora Milaje held up a device that was displaying a glowing red hologram. "My king," she said, "one of the vibranium trains is under attack."
"The underground ones?" I asked.
T'Challa nodded.
Those trains are so cool. Sorry I keep saying "so cool." It's just very fitting. If I had to sum up Wakanda in two words, it would be "so cool."
"Do we have eyes on the site of the attack?" T'Challa asked.
"Accessing security feeds now," the member of the Dora Milaje said. She pushed a few buttons on the device, and the hologram switched to a view of a section of the underground railroads. All of us clustered around the hologram.
A few seconds later, the train entered the hologram. Immediately afterwards, four objects appeared in front of the train and launched a quartet of projectiles at its front. The projectiles exploded and the train derailed, overturning and spilling vibranium all over the tracks. The four objects that had attacked the train swarmed the mound of spilled vibranium.
"Those look the same as the creature Okoye reported seeing last night," T'Challa said.
And as they grabbed more vibranium and drew closer to the security feed, I could see them more clearly.
"Oh #$&%," I said.
"Do you know what they are?" T'Challa asked.
"They're Sentinels."
A/N: This is probably the craziest multiverse scenario I've imagined, including the few other ideas I had for the first chapter of this story but then scrapped – Sentinels stealing vibranium from Wakanda. And just for (possibly unnecessary) clarification, these are the Sentinels from The Matrix, not X-Men.
And for those of you (if any) who also read my fanfic "Ghidorah: King of the Monsters," yes, that MonsterVerse reference does mean that, when I eventually work Abaddon into "Ghidorah," he'll have the same powers, appearance, etc. as the iteration of Abaddon in Torchwood. Basically, the only difference will be that they're from different universes. And yes, I am actively working on the next chapter of "Ghidorah;" it just takes longer because I can't rely on absurdity to support the story when necessary like I do with most of my other fanfics.
Please R&R if you'd like; I love getting reviews!