A/N: Hey minna-san! Sorry it took so long, I just got writers' block (or is it laziness?), and I know it might seem unbelievable since I haven't been updating for a while, but the truth is that during the time I wasn't updating I was at school and half the time doing homework and balancing on top of that Saturday prep school and on top of even that, I have been feeling very tired and troubled lately. Well enough of this lets start off my story. Oh yeah one more thing, I used to use Microsoft Word but since my computer crashed I got a new one and it doesn't have Microsoft Word, it has Word Perfect but W.P doesn't save in .doc format, but some other I can't remember right now and fanfic wont accept it, so I have to use Notepad, but notepad doesn't have any grammar checking or stuff so it'll take a while for me to write it out without grammatical errors, check it over,
and just try to make it as best as possible. FINALLY onto the story! I've finally found
sometime to do this, I mean I have been inspired long ago already, it's just that I've
been putting stuff off, sorry. Read my disclaimer please, for the benefit of you and
for this chapter.
Disclaimer:I don't own Inuyasha, but bet one day I'll have an anime of my own! :] Songs
used: "Iris" by Googoodolls, I love that song ^_^ perfect song for my latest chappie,
you must get that song, or hear it, as you read this chapter, fits perfectly.
Warning: Well it'll be sad, but I don't know if I have lost a thing or two from not
writing for so long, so forgive me if it's not how it used to be.
(The title is Different because I wanted 2 titles, cause they both fit this chappie ^^)
The Decision
My Tears
Inuyasha woke up inside Kaede's hut. He opened his eyes to see sunlight
streaming out of the windows and Sango, Miroku, and Shippou peering at him anxiously.
He was sore and wrapped up in a bandage, and it ached all over.
"What....happened? Kagome...Kagome? Where's Kagome!?!?"
Suddenly everything flashed back to Inuyasha....the fight...the deaths...the
light..and Kagome's dead body...limp and still.
"..Miroku, Sango, Shippo, you're alive...I've been acting like an idiot all through
this journey with you guys, I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."Inuyasha whispered as he looked
away..his eyes disfocused, even though all three of them knew he meant it.
"Inuyasha...."Miroku said his voice full of concern.
"Huh? What's wrong?..."
"Are you sure you are okay?" Miroku asked hesitantly, his warm eyes portraying a look of
worry.
"Yeah, better than ever..." Inuyasha replied a little to fast,"never felt better...
never.."
"Inuyasha, don't hide it from us, we can see it, Inuyasha, please..." Sango pressed
on, her voice full of worry like Miroku's.
Inuyasha strained a little trying to get up, using his katana's point as a
cane, he hobbled onward outside. Before leaving his friends clueless he called back,
"Don't come after me, I'm ok, really I am."
"Inu-"
"Don't"Inuyasha whispered, his voice cracking as he faltered a bit.
"Don't! You are not fully healed yet, it's only been three days healing, and still
counting!!" Inuyasha ignore his friends as he left.
Inuyasha walked outside, the sky menacing with gray sad rain clouds hanging
overhead. He took a deep breath and winced as it reopened his wounds.'Damn Damn Damn
Damn DAMN' Inuyasha cursed mentally,'why does this happen, why..god I'm such an idiot
..why did I do this...why did she get in this mess, why did she get dragged down...with
me...'. Inuyasha winced as he deliberately dropped his katana and tried to walk without
it. He knew exactly where Kagome was...exactly.
Inuyasha arrived at the God Tree, and saw it, Kagome laid out peacefully in her
school clothes, not bloodied anymore, and mended, thanks to the Shikon light that
healed her, as well as taking her life.
"Kagome. Oh god Kagome..I'm so sorry...Kagome...please.." Inuyasha sad barely audible
as he kneeled besides her. He picked up her head and let her lay oh his legs, like
Kagome did for him, once upon a time ago, a time far, far, away, a time he longed for
once again.
"Kagome, come on! Wake up damn it! Wake UP!" Inuyasha pleaded as he held Kagome
tightly, his cries of anguish scaring some birds off in the distance.
"My decision was totally wrong, I made a mistake I can't take back....cause of me, no
one will ever be able to see you laugh again, to see your beauty, and to see you..
Kagome...I won't be able to tell you that..I...Love...you." Inuyasha cried in anger,
a few drops of tears rolling down his cheeks, his ears were pressed flat forward against
his head, as he bowed his head in shame and remorse.
"I had so much to tell you, but now, I can't...I just can't..it's no use, I can't bring
you back...tears can't bring you back..I'll be all alone again, because Shippo will
grow up, Sango and Miroku will, you know...and...Kikyou...Kikyou's not here anymore,
she's not alive anymore....she's not..."
"Kagome...you understand who I am, even if I'm acting defiant, you understand..the real
me..."
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I've ever been
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
"Kagome, I killed you, I caused your death...I deserve to take your place....I.."
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
"...I deserve to die...instead of you...you protected me...why Kagome..why..I don't
deserve it.."
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
"You understood me, when no one took the time to find out who I was really, when no one
trusted me...when no one believed in me...no one had any faith in me...degraded me...
hated me..feared me..didn't understand me..no one believed in my words..but you did...
you mean a lot to me, no matter what anyone says...you know...I love you...nothing can
change the way I feel...even in death...you would know me....instantly....even if the
world forgot me...you'd never don't forget me..."
Suddenly the Shikon Jewel fell out of Kagome's pocket and Inuyasha fingered it.
He remembered the time Kagome had come out of the well, came to him, how she cracked
the jewel, the first time she cried for him, the time she was abducted, the whole
situation with that peach man, who ate others, and he remembered the time she saw him
hug Kikyou with such desire and pain, last of all he remembered Kagome, coming back
from her time period and promising him that she'll stay with him forever.
"Kagome...you promised me you'll stay with me, but now you left me, and I left you..we
broke our promise...cause of me...once again..protecting...Kikyou...Kikyou's not at
fault...its mine isn't it...I should've paid more attention to..you..to your feelings
..I was such an idiot..." Inuyasha said, while he stared long and hard at the jewel, he
didn't notice Kouga, sitting on a tree limb up high above. Apparently he had been there
before Inuyasha, and hid before he saw him. Kouga was clenching his fists in anger,
trying to keep in the pain he had felt too. 'That damn Inuyasha, how dare he even come
and show his face. I may have saved him once, but it doesn't change the fact that he has
disappointed all by choosing Kikyou, that bitch, that damned conniving bitch. God,
Kagome died, she's really dead...' Kouga thought as he blinked back the tears that were
about to flow out. Inuyasha was also crying silently to himself. 'I thought not being
accepted, being different, being unloved was true pain. But making a mistake, hurting
the ones I love hurts much more. Mistakes were said to be made so we can learn from
them, but this mistake I can't learn from. I can never undo the damage I have done to
everyone...'. His tears fell on Kagome. Kouga was crying freely now, his tears dripping
off his face. One tear dropped and it fell down, it was a hair's width away from
dripping on the Shikon that Inuyasha was holding, but it missed. It was a fraction of
the smallest measurement in the world away, but it missed, just as Inuyasha's tears
fell, but his tears reached the target, the dead on middle of the Shikon jewel and
beautiful lavender light erupted from it. Everything was blinded. Kikyou stood in the
background about to go to Inuyasha, and Kouga jumped out of the trees and blocked
Kikyou from going to them. Before the light blinded them all, he saw, his teardrop
missed, but Inuyasha's hit target, which erupted the white light. 'Inuyasha, you may
not have noticed, but I loved Kagome truly and deeply but in the end I missed her
heart, she didn't love me back. But you, you hit dead target, you got ahold of her
heart, but u caused her pain. She loved you, she truly did, but she died in pain
because of you. I feel something is going to happen soon, and if you ever get your
chance to heal her wounds, those deep wounds in her heart that ripped it apart once, no
more than once, countless times, you better make sure you don't re-do that same mistake,
or I wont help you again, I wont block this bitch from distracting your love and you,
if you make the same mistake are truly dead.' he thought as he knocked Kikyou away from
her target and he collapsed. The white light blinded everyone there, where there was a
point of no return.
A/N: Gomen Nasai everyone. I was lazy and slacked off so much, god my test taking prep
was so stressful and I was playing PristonTale so much I almost killed myself from my
lack of sleep. ^^ Gotta go and happy new years, sorry I hope this can become your
belated presents for Christmas and New Years ^^. See ya.
Mystik (Lol I finally finished this chapter. I wrote this like in Sunday, November 09,
2003, 10:59:43 PM but I never finished it like I only wrote up to when the Shikon fell
out and then like 3 months or so later Today, January 03, 2004, 1:06:48 AM I have
finished it ^^, must sleep or else im going to COLLAPSE ^^ see yas, remember to give me
some Reviews ^^ also I remember a dear reviewer I had who guess what I was going to do,
the tears drops and such, sorry I wasn't planning to ruin it for you, gosh u guess dead
on target LOL, ^^ are you sure your not a seer or something? LOL, well nice guess, lol
it was like....2 months or so afer I made that thought up and then u reviewed me, and u
guess it correctly, that is truly creepy. If any of you have PristonTale a mmorpg free
online game, im a Morion, Priestess, named Mi-cHan lvl 18 in a half, see ya ^^ Gomen
Nasai once again readers. I haven't followed up on the Inuyasha episodes 130 and on,
instead im following on Naruto now LOL. that was one hell of a long A/N) REVIEW MEEEEEEE
sry making u wait 3 months and or like...4 or 5 LOL Sorry so much I love you guys..
-2:02 AM same day later time, god finally finished revising, im so happy im about to cry, I wished
fanfic would accept other non .doc formatted documents. Save me the damn trouble of revising and
editing this whole load of work T_T. Well anyways gotta go, spent enough sleeping time revising ^^
and just try to make it as best as possible. FINALLY onto the story! I've finally found
sometime to do this, I mean I have been inspired long ago already, it's just that I've
been putting stuff off, sorry. Read my disclaimer please, for the benefit of you and
for this chapter.
Disclaimer:I don't own Inuyasha, but bet one day I'll have an anime of my own! :] Songs
used: "Iris" by Googoodolls, I love that song ^_^ perfect song for my latest chappie,
you must get that song, or hear it, as you read this chapter, fits perfectly.
Warning: Well it'll be sad, but I don't know if I have lost a thing or two from not
writing for so long, so forgive me if it's not how it used to be.
(The title is Different because I wanted 2 titles, cause they both fit this chappie ^^)
The Decision
My Tears
Inuyasha woke up inside Kaede's hut. He opened his eyes to see sunlight
streaming out of the windows and Sango, Miroku, and Shippou peering at him anxiously.
He was sore and wrapped up in a bandage, and it ached all over.
"What....happened? Kagome...Kagome? Where's Kagome!?!?"
Suddenly everything flashed back to Inuyasha....the fight...the deaths...the
light..and Kagome's dead body...limp and still.
"..Miroku, Sango, Shippo, you're alive...I've been acting like an idiot all through
this journey with you guys, I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."Inuyasha whispered as he looked
away..his eyes disfocused, even though all three of them knew he meant it.
"Inuyasha...."Miroku said his voice full of concern.
"Huh? What's wrong?..."
"Are you sure you are okay?" Miroku asked hesitantly, his warm eyes portraying a look of
worry.
"Yeah, better than ever..." Inuyasha replied a little to fast,"never felt better...
never.."
"Inuyasha, don't hide it from us, we can see it, Inuyasha, please..." Sango pressed
on, her voice full of worry like Miroku's.
Inuyasha strained a little trying to get up, using his katana's point as a
cane, he hobbled onward outside. Before leaving his friends clueless he called back,
"Don't come after me, I'm ok, really I am."
"Inu-"
"Don't"Inuyasha whispered, his voice cracking as he faltered a bit.
"Don't! You are not fully healed yet, it's only been three days healing, and still
counting!!" Inuyasha ignore his friends as he left.
Inuyasha walked outside, the sky menacing with gray sad rain clouds hanging
overhead. He took a deep breath and winced as it reopened his wounds.'Damn Damn Damn
Damn DAMN' Inuyasha cursed mentally,'why does this happen, why..god I'm such an idiot
..why did I do this...why did she get in this mess, why did she get dragged down...with
me...'. Inuyasha winced as he deliberately dropped his katana and tried to walk without
it. He knew exactly where Kagome was...exactly.
Inuyasha arrived at the God Tree, and saw it, Kagome laid out peacefully in her
school clothes, not bloodied anymore, and mended, thanks to the Shikon light that
healed her, as well as taking her life.
"Kagome. Oh god Kagome..I'm so sorry...Kagome...please.." Inuyasha sad barely audible
as he kneeled besides her. He picked up her head and let her lay oh his legs, like
Kagome did for him, once upon a time ago, a time far, far, away, a time he longed for
once again.
"Kagome, come on! Wake up damn it! Wake UP!" Inuyasha pleaded as he held Kagome
tightly, his cries of anguish scaring some birds off in the distance.
"My decision was totally wrong, I made a mistake I can't take back....cause of me, no
one will ever be able to see you laugh again, to see your beauty, and to see you..
Kagome...I won't be able to tell you that..I...Love...you." Inuyasha cried in anger,
a few drops of tears rolling down his cheeks, his ears were pressed flat forward against
his head, as he bowed his head in shame and remorse.
"I had so much to tell you, but now, I can't...I just can't..it's no use, I can't bring
you back...tears can't bring you back..I'll be all alone again, because Shippo will
grow up, Sango and Miroku will, you know...and...Kikyou...Kikyou's not here anymore,
she's not alive anymore....she's not..."
"Kagome...you understand who I am, even if I'm acting defiant, you understand..the real
me..."
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I've ever been
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
and sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
"Kagome, I killed you, I caused your death...I deserve to take your place....I.."
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
"...I deserve to die...instead of you...you protected me...why Kagome..why..I don't
deserve it.."
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
"You understood me, when no one took the time to find out who I was really, when no one
trusted me...when no one believed in me...no one had any faith in me...degraded me...
hated me..feared me..didn't understand me..no one believed in my words..but you did...
you mean a lot to me, no matter what anyone says...you know...I love you...nothing can
change the way I feel...even in death...you would know me....instantly....even if the
world forgot me...you'd never don't forget me..."
Suddenly the Shikon Jewel fell out of Kagome's pocket and Inuyasha fingered it.
He remembered the time Kagome had come out of the well, came to him, how she cracked
the jewel, the first time she cried for him, the time she was abducted, the whole
situation with that peach man, who ate others, and he remembered the time she saw him
hug Kikyou with such desire and pain, last of all he remembered Kagome, coming back
from her time period and promising him that she'll stay with him forever.
"Kagome...you promised me you'll stay with me, but now you left me, and I left you..we
broke our promise...cause of me...once again..protecting...Kikyou...Kikyou's not at
fault...its mine isn't it...I should've paid more attention to..you..to your feelings
..I was such an idiot..." Inuyasha said, while he stared long and hard at the jewel, he
didn't notice Kouga, sitting on a tree limb up high above. Apparently he had been there
before Inuyasha, and hid before he saw him. Kouga was clenching his fists in anger,
trying to keep in the pain he had felt too. 'That damn Inuyasha, how dare he even come
and show his face. I may have saved him once, but it doesn't change the fact that he has
disappointed all by choosing Kikyou, that bitch, that damned conniving bitch. God,
Kagome died, she's really dead...' Kouga thought as he blinked back the tears that were
about to flow out. Inuyasha was also crying silently to himself. 'I thought not being
accepted, being different, being unloved was true pain. But making a mistake, hurting
the ones I love hurts much more. Mistakes were said to be made so we can learn from
them, but this mistake I can't learn from. I can never undo the damage I have done to
everyone...'. His tears fell on Kagome. Kouga was crying freely now, his tears dripping
off his face. One tear dropped and it fell down, it was a hair's width away from
dripping on the Shikon that Inuyasha was holding, but it missed. It was a fraction of
the smallest measurement in the world away, but it missed, just as Inuyasha's tears
fell, but his tears reached the target, the dead on middle of the Shikon jewel and
beautiful lavender light erupted from it. Everything was blinded. Kikyou stood in the
background about to go to Inuyasha, and Kouga jumped out of the trees and blocked
Kikyou from going to them. Before the light blinded them all, he saw, his teardrop
missed, but Inuyasha's hit target, which erupted the white light. 'Inuyasha, you may
not have noticed, but I loved Kagome truly and deeply but in the end I missed her
heart, she didn't love me back. But you, you hit dead target, you got ahold of her
heart, but u caused her pain. She loved you, she truly did, but she died in pain
because of you. I feel something is going to happen soon, and if you ever get your
chance to heal her wounds, those deep wounds in her heart that ripped it apart once, no
more than once, countless times, you better make sure you don't re-do that same mistake,
or I wont help you again, I wont block this bitch from distracting your love and you,
if you make the same mistake are truly dead.' he thought as he knocked Kikyou away from
her target and he collapsed. The white light blinded everyone there, where there was a
point of no return.
A/N: Gomen Nasai everyone. I was lazy and slacked off so much, god my test taking prep
was so stressful and I was playing PristonTale so much I almost killed myself from my
lack of sleep. ^^ Gotta go and happy new years, sorry I hope this can become your
belated presents for Christmas and New Years ^^. See ya.
Mystik (Lol I finally finished this chapter. I wrote this like in Sunday, November 09,
2003, 10:59:43 PM but I never finished it like I only wrote up to when the Shikon fell
out and then like 3 months or so later Today, January 03, 2004, 1:06:48 AM I have
finished it ^^, must sleep or else im going to COLLAPSE ^^ see yas, remember to give me
some Reviews ^^ also I remember a dear reviewer I had who guess what I was going to do,
the tears drops and such, sorry I wasn't planning to ruin it for you, gosh u guess dead
on target LOL, ^^ are you sure your not a seer or something? LOL, well nice guess, lol
it was like....2 months or so afer I made that thought up and then u reviewed me, and u
guess it correctly, that is truly creepy. If any of you have PristonTale a mmorpg free
online game, im a Morion, Priestess, named Mi-cHan lvl 18 in a half, see ya ^^ Gomen
Nasai once again readers. I haven't followed up on the Inuyasha episodes 130 and on,
instead im following on Naruto now LOL. that was one hell of a long A/N) REVIEW MEEEEEEE
sry making u wait 3 months and or like...4 or 5 LOL Sorry so much I love you guys..
-2:02 AM same day later time, god finally finished revising, im so happy im about to cry, I wished
fanfic would accept other non .doc formatted documents. Save me the damn trouble of revising and
editing this whole load of work T_T. Well anyways gotta go, spent enough sleeping time revising ^^